One Blazing Night (17 page)

“I'm proud of you, son. You've never had to prove yourself to me, yet you've done that over and over again. Give yourself every opportunity to live a full life. That will make me proud, as well.”

Matt stood up. He wasn't going to hug his father or anything. God, they'd probably both have heart attacks. But he did offer his hand. His father stood and accepted it. And he clapped Matt on the shoulder.

“Thank you,” Matt said, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

When he reached the office door, his father said, “Good luck.” That carried him all the way to a taxi and straight on to Sam's lab.

She wasn't there.

Clark stepped outside, not even letting Matt see past the door. “She hasn't been here for two days,” Clark said, anger and worry in his voice. “I warned you this would happen, but did you listen? No. She hasn't missed a day since I can remember. She's devastated.”

“Devastated? But why? I haven't done anything—”

“Bullshit. You were on the phone with her, and when she hung up, she looked like a ghost. Her hands were shaking so badly she couldn't finish the page she was working on.”

“Wait a minute. Just wait. What did she say? Exactly.”

“Nothing. She wouldn't talk to me. Something else she's never done before.” Clark blinked and adjusted his glasses. “I know she feels miserable and humiliated.”

Matt ran a hand through his hair as he turned around. “She didn't let me finish,” he said.

“What?”

He turned back to Clark. “Christ. I was in a cab. The board of directors had just voted for me to take over the London office. Huge deal. I'd been working toward the promotion for a year.”

“Well, that explains—”

Matt cut him off. “No. It explains nothing because she never heard the rest. I turned the job down. My father, the rest of the board, everyone was furious with me. I can barely believe I did it. I did it for her. For us. To see if we could have a chance. But she didn't return any of my calls.”

Clark looked stunned. He didn't do anything but stare for a long minute. Then, “Shit.”

Matt inhaled. “You can say that again. What do I do now? Do you know if she's at home?”

“You really turned down the job?”

“Of course I did. It's Sam.”

“Try her again,” Clark said. Then he shook his head as if he were clearing out cobwebs. “Come in.” He held the door for Matt, who was already dialing her number.

He disconnected. “Straight to voice mail.”

Clark pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Hey, Sam. How are you doing? Good.” He gave a small shake of his head. “I know you said not to bother you, but I have something to tell you. It's important. So please hear me out. I've talked to Matt— No. Just listen.” Clark tightened his mouth. “I don't think it's the flu, Sam. Okay. Even if it is, it won't hurt you to give Matt a call back.”

Matt wanted to tear his hair out, not being able to hear what she was saying. All he could do was hope.

“No, you're not listening. I've talked to him. He didn't get to finish what he was saying to you the other day. He didn't take the London job. He turned it down.”

Silence.

Second by second, Clark's expression darkened, his shoulders slumped, and finally, he had to turn his back on Matt. A few moments later Clark hung up.

“What happened?”

“I'm sorry,” Clark said, looking bleak. “She said that even though you didn't take the job, nothing has changed. You have your work, she has hers. You're both busy people and have different lives. And she's known that all along.”

“But none of that is written in stone. We could try. I don't want her to quit her job. But I don't want her missing out on life, either.”

“I know, man. I get it. I've never heard her like this before. I don't know what to tell you.” Clark took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “Oh, and she says being AWOL has nothing to do with you. She has the flu. And she'll call you when she feels better.”

Matt reached into his pocket for the key to the apartment. “Dammit,” he muttered under his breath. “She thinks she has everything all figured out.”

Looking dejected, Clark accepted the key.

Matt felt himself sinking deeper. Maybe he was the one who wasn't thinking straight. He'd taken a risk, and it hadn't paid off. He might be able to get the London gig back, but it wouldn't mean much. Considering what he'd just lost.

He just couldn't think of anything more he could do. Other than finding out if she was home and breaking down her front door.

God knew he'd had worse ideas.

17

S
AM
SANK
TO
her couch, dropping her cell phone on the coffee table. She felt wretched. She hadn't done much to make herself feel better. That wouldn't happen for another decade or so. At least she'd showered this morning. Cried the whole time.

She wished Clark hadn't told her. It was easier to stay strong when there was the whole London Secret to hold on to. The fact that he'd turned down the job was...

She wasn't sure what to think. Maybe it was because of her, but probably not. Or he would've said something in one of his many messages.

Dammit. What was Matt talking to Clark for, anyway? So they were suddenly buddies now? This wasn't anyone's business. The employees thought she had the flu. Honestly, it felt like the flu, only much worse.

Sniffling, she inhaled a calming breath. If Matt thought he'd be seeing more of her by staying, he was asking for the impossible. He might as well have accepted the London job. He traveled so often that taking over the office felt like only a technicality. And her life was all about her work. She spent eighty, ninety hours a week in the lab. It could never work between them. Someone's heart would end up broken. It was only a matter of time.

So why had she let things get this far? She couldn't blame all of this on him.

God, how she must have driven Clark insane. At least they'd completed the Coulson job.

She got up and shuffled to the kitchen. Normally, she loved her kitchen. Pictures and magnets took up most of the room on the front of the fridge. She had the same espresso machine as the office, and it made the best hazelnut lattes in the world. She also had a shiny bright red toaster and a red butter dish and her whole Le Creuset baking set was red. A gift in happier days. Not that she baked anything but macaroni and cheese.

Making coffee was easy enough on autopilot. Her hair needed to be out of her face, but she hadn't wanted to look in a mirror, so she'd avoided the bathroom.

Even a great challenge on “World of Warcraft” hadn't lifted her spirits one bit. Maybe a dash of Kahlúa would liven up her coffee. More than a dash sounded even better.

She wondered when Clark had talked to Matt and whether or not it had been in person. She hadn't thought to ask, but she wouldn't have anyway. It didn't matter. Except that she wanted to know. Maybe she could brush her hair. Try to hide whatever damage there was from crying so much. Put on some jeans. Casually walk over and see if Clark would tell her more without her asking.

But why?

It was just...

She missed Matt. So, so much. She'd had such a short time with him, yet he'd managed to infiltrate every part of her. She would have thought something so encompassing would stifle her creativity, but it hadn't. She'd come up with the solution to the power problem in record time.

Making herself move, she finished her coffee. There were muffins in the fridge. And in the freezer. But eating seemed like a horrible idea.

So back to the couch it was, where she could wallow to her heart's content.

Although she doubted there was any heart left.

* * *

M
ATT
MADE
IT
as far as the street and turned around. He wasn't a quitter, and damned if he was going to throw in the towel on something this important. The lab's front door opened, and for a moment, his heart almost beat out of his chest, but it was the assistant. Tina. She nodded at him with a smile and gave Clark a subtle questioning look.

Clark walked over and stood next to her, a protective hand on the small of her back. “I don't know what more I can do,” he said, keeping his voice low.

“I'm not letting her wimp out of this. Being with her helped me reconnect with a part of me that I lost in law school. I've laughed more in the last week than in the last year. It helped me see that my schedule was nuts.

“I think the same goes for Sam. And you, too. Life is more than work, even if it's creative and satisfying. I got my ass kicked two ways to Sunday when we played ‘House of the Dead' the other night. She was jumping around and screaming like a kid on spring break.”

Clark nodded. “Even though I was a complete downer through this whole thing, she was happier than I'd seen her in ages.”

“Look, I have an idea, but first I need to know if you think you guys could keep on running things without Sam for three more days.”

Clark looked back at Tina, who met his gaze with wide eyes and a small smile. “Yeah, we'd be okay,” he said. “Now that we're finished with the Coulson job, things are more or less back to normal.”

“What about your schedule?”

“I've already padded that, and most of our clients are cool with time.” Clark reached for the apartment key he'd left on his desk. “What do you have in mind?”

“For starters, I won't need that. If I play this right, Sam will be leaving town with me tonight.”

“You're kidding, right?” Clark once again stole a glance at Tina. “I don't know about that. You'd be lucky to get her to leave the house, let alone leave town with you.”

“Aside from going out the back way, there's one more thing.”

“Okay.” Clark followed and almost ran into him when Matt stopped. They'd reached the middle of the lab floor, right near Tina's desk. “So what's the other thing?”

“If she won't let me in, can one of you help me out? Maybe pretend to take something over to her. I don't want to have to bust down the door.”

A collective sigh floated down from somewhere above them. Matt looked up. Three young women were hanging over the loft railing, apparently listening to everything.

Matt pointed to them. “None of you warn Sam. Please.”

All three heads nodded solemnly.

“If you can't get her to open the door, I could probably figure something out,” Tina said softly, then glanced again at Clark, who was staring at her. “Whatever we can do,” she said, then looked back at Matt. “We're in.”

“Thanks.” Matt studied the other man for a moment. “You know, Clark, a very wise and successful man told me that he regretted letting work take over his life. Given the chance, he would do things differently. I intend to not make his mistakes. And I won't let Sam do it, either. One way or another, I'll convince her. Because neither one of us should have any regrets about what might have been. There's a time for bold moves, and now is that time.”

Clark inhaled, gave him a short nod and took off his glasses. “You're right,” he said, before he turned his full attention on Tina and pulled her into one mother of a kiss.

Shouts and cheers erupted from upstairs and the break room. Matt smiled, but this wasn't his party.

Once outside, Matt got on the phone with his assistant. As he walked across the very long yard, he explained what he needed. If no commercial flights were available, he'd use the company jet, something he rarely did. When he reached her door, Matt took a deep breath and knocked firmly.

When about a minute had gone by and she hadn't come to the door, he knocked again. With conviction. And then he did it a third time.

Thank God, the door swung open.

“What do you want, Matt?”

He smiled at how beautiful she looked. Her hair was a wild mess, as though she'd just got up after spending the night with him. Her beige thermal shirt couldn't hide the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra, and she had on funky red-and-white pajama bottoms. Her feet were bare, her silver-polished toes curled against the brisk air. “I need you to get dressed and pack a bag for a three-day trip. Casual clothes will be fine, but maybe throw in a couple of nice things.”

Her jaw dropped. She just squinted at him through red-rimmed eyes and didn't say anything.

He smiled.

Eventually, she said, “Are you crazy? Even if I wanted to go anywhere with you, there's no way I'd leave Clark to handle everything.”

“Why not? According to him, they've done fine without you for the last two days and three more won't matter. And once he and Tina come up for air, I'm sure he'll be happy to confirm that for you.”

Sam frowned. “Come up for air?”

Matt nodded and started herding her back into the living room.

* * *

H
E
KEPT
SMILING
at her as if he had a big happy surprise waiting for her. As if everything were just peachy.

“Stop it,” she said, slapping at his hands.

“Hold that thought.” He pulled his cell phone out of his jacket pocket and read a text. Once he'd put it away, he said, “I can help you pack if you want, but our flight leaves in two hours, so we have to hustle.”

“I'm not going anywhere with— Wait. Clark and Tina?”

“Kissing. Yes. Very enthusiastically. Everyone seemed to be pleased about it.”

“Everyone?”

“He kissed her at her desk.”

She sighed. Her latte was still on the coffee table, and suddenly, drinking it was the only thing that made sense. Besides, she didn't want Matt to see her lower lip wobble. Clark and Tina had kissed and she hadn't been there.

“Where are you going? That's not your bedroom.”

“First of all, stop it. Second...” She didn't complete her thought. A long drink of the now-not-so-hot latte helped. “Second, where do you think you're taking me? Although from what I can see, thinking is the last thing you seem to be doing.”

He looked down at his feet for a minute, and she hid again behind her tall mug. He looked worn-out. There were dark shadows under his eyes that told her he hadn't been sleeping, either. Of course, he'd done that to himself, but it still broke her heart. Seeing him was opening the wound again, before it had even started to heal.

“I know you turned down the job in London. I really hope it didn't have anything to do with me, because it doesn't matter where you live. We can't be together. You're delusional if you think it's possible. Do you know how much time I wasted this last week alone?”

“Yeah,” he said. “None. Zero. There wasn't one damn moment of wasted time between us. Tell me you didn't have a great time.”

“Just because something's fun and wonderful doesn't make it all right. I've got responsibilities.”

“So do I. And if I thought there wasn't an excellent chance that we could work this thing out, I never would have turned down the promotion. I mean it, Sam. We have a lot to talk about. I know that. But I'm asking you to take it on faith that you'll be glad you packed for three days.”

“On faith? Why didn't you tell me about London? You never even mentioned it, and I don't understand.”

He took a deep breath, but he didn't look away. “I didn't mean to hide it from you. In the beginning I had no idea what the board was going to do. In fact, it didn't look so good. Then when things started to shift, I didn't want to tell you, because there was still a chance it wouldn't have gone my way.”

“So?”

“Dammit, Sam. I didn't want to fail in front of you like that.”

“Fail? Oh, for God's sake, Matthew. You're a damn good lawyer and you're too smart to think you had to prove anything to me, remember?”

He smiled. “Yes. I remember. But when something is as important as you are, I wanted to make sure all my ducks were in a row.”

“That doesn't make any sense. Not with me it doesn't. We're friends first. At least, I like to think so.” She couldn't stand to think how awful she looked. Every time she sniffed, she imagined her nose growing redder and redder. It probably matched her hair by now. “So how did the board react to you turning the job down?”

“They haven't taken out any hits on me, as far as I know. But they're not thrilled. I've outlined all the changes I'd hoped to implement, though. Everything necessary to restructure and come back swinging. I'll have to go there for a couple of weeks, get everything rolling in the right direction. But I don't have to go yet.”

It took her a minute to digest what he'd just told her. She stood there, sipping her drink, looking at this insane man who'd turned down his dream. What must that have been like? To tell his father must have taken all the courage in the world. And now he wanted to take even more time off to show her some little surprise? “Should you even dare to leave now?”

“Yes. I've got something more important to do.” He checked his watch and then sighed again. “Can we argue about this later? Like on the plane? Seriously, you need to pack now.”

“What on earth is going away for three days going to do but put us both further behind?”

“Dammit, Sam. Life isn't only about work. I've been as guilty as you, working so many hours that I lost all sense of time and priorities. But being with you again has changed things. Remember how much gaming we did in the dorm?”

“Of course I do, but—”

“We still aced our classes, didn't we? And those were some hard classes. Well, not necessarily for you, but that's not the point. We used to have fun and work hard. We had lives outside of our books and midterms.”

Sam just stared at him, not sure what to say. Kind of ironic, really, that she wanted to be the grown-up and here she was, acting the part. But Matt, he'd never been the pie-in-the-sky type. She didn't doubt for a minute he believed they could find some common ground, have a slice of life together. But once they returned to their real lives, it was going to become more and more difficult to carve out time for each other. She just couldn't see this story having a happy ending.

Matt took her empty mug and put it back on the coffee table. From there, he took hold of both of her hands. “I understand that you love what you do. I love what I do, too. But is that all there can be to life? I don't think so. No, scratch that. I
know
it isn't, and I'm asking you to trust me for a little while. A few days? If you're still not convinced we have a chance, then consider the matter dropped. Never to be broached again. You have my word.”