Ondine (20 page)

‘I'd watch yours if I were you, and your legs,' Ondine said as Vincent walked out of the side gate of the garden. ‘We'll send the dinner bill to yer da.'

Shambles yelled out, ‘And ye'll need ten rabies shots, all of them in the a–'

Ondine slapped her hand over Shambles's mouth. ‘No need to be rude.'

‘Ah, yer a feisty one! I'm real proud of ye.' Shambles gave Ondine a wet, whiskery kiss on the cheek.

Proud of her? Well, that was about the best thing she'd heard all night. ‘Thanks, Hamish. I'm glad you arrived when you did.'

What a mess she'd made of things! Why, when she had someone as beautiful and funny as Hamish to look forward to, did she even contemplate an
idiot like Lord Vincent?

Because he may never be Hamish again!

‘Did he hurt ye, lass?'

There were so many different levels of hurt a person could feel. ‘I guess not, but . . . oh, Hamish, you tried to warn me about him, but I wouldn't listen. Go on, say “I told you so”.'

‘Nay, lass, you don't need to be told anything. You're far smarter than me.'

‘You're just saying that.' Ondine brushed off the comment as she made to return to the kitchen. She was still grounded; any prolonged absences would make her mother suspicious.

‘No, I'm
nawt
just saying that. It's true. And thanks for calling me Hamish, it's nice to be treated like a person again.'

Something made Ondine stop at the back step. Here she was, growing older by the day, feeling frustrated because everyone treated her like a kid. All the while the adult male on her shoulder fared little better because of his present ferrety incarnation.

‘If it helps any, you're a real person to me. And I hope the spell wears off permanently soon so you can be yourself again.'

Please be you again, Hamish.

Shambles gave a wickedly deep chuckle as they walked down the hall. ‘Sure, yer just saying that, lass, cos ye want another kiss. I wouldn't mind another meself. Yer very good at it.'

No heat of embarrassment this time, but a wide grin split her face at the thought.

Shambles chuckled, then stopped suddenly. ‘What are we doing in the laundry?'

‘I'm pretty sure this is your room and, as I'm grounded, I'm not allowed to have anyone in mine. That includes you.'

‘Nobody will notice. And you can't expect me to stay down here, it's all reekie.'
⁶⁴

For a moment Ondine stood still, wondering what to do, but then Shambles made her mind up for her.

‘Ye were giving it laldy
⁶⁵
on that eejit, but yer still in shock and I think someone should keep an eye on ye, and as I was there, it may as well be me.'

‘Why am I regretting this already? You're sleeping on the end of the bed, OK?
Above
the covers.'

‘I wouldnae have it any other way.'

As they approached the kitchen, Shambles peeled off Ondine's shoulder and begged Chef for leftovers. Things were winding down for the night, with only a few tables left to receive their desserts.

‘Lord Vincent had to leave,' Ondine told her mother. It wasn't exactly a lie. ‘We're to send the bill to the Duke.'

Her mother's face took on an air of concern. ‘What happened out there? You don't look so good.'

‘And I don't feel so good either. Da was right, Vincent's a total pain in the . . . neck.' She wanted to say worse, but good manners turned up in the nick of time.

‘You should go to bed,' Ma said, touching the
back of her hand to Ondine's forehead.

‘Vincent knew about the jewellery, and the money. I don't know how, but he did.'

‘Oh dear.'

‘Exactly.'

‘Right.' Ma was quiet for a while, as she thought what to do next. At the same time, she put the coffee on and set up cups and saucers. Not only could she talk about five things at once, she could practically do them as well. ‘Things won't settle down out front for another hour at least, and you look ready to drop. Your father's retired early for once, Thomas is doing a great job at the bar. You get some sleep, then we'll talk about it in the morning.'

No second invitation needed. Ondine was only too glad to head to her room and collapse. Sometime during the night, Shambles arrived and made good on his promise to stay at the end of the bed.

‘Settle, lass. I can't sleep with yer feet kicking me all the time.'

‘Stop fidgeting then.'

A knock came on the door. ‘Ondi, are you in there?'

‘Quick, Hamish – under the bed, Ma's coming in,' Ondine whispered, then called out to the door in a louder voice, ‘Where else would I be?'

Instantly she wished she'd kept her mouth shut. Already in enough trouble, answering back to her parents again could make things worse. Especially if Ma walked in and found she had company. Ondine couldn't think of a worse punishment than being stuck in her room whenever she wasn't needed for work, but her mother had no such lack of imagination and would be bound to come up with something more heinous. The furry black streak disappeared under the bed, his claws skittering on the floorboards as Ma opened the door. Thank goodness for creaky hinges drowning out the sound!

‘Ondi, I'm sorry things went so badly with Vincent tonight. I thought your father was overreacting about him. Turns out his instincts were spot on,' Ma said, positioning her well-cushioned self on the end of the bed, right where Hamish had been. ‘I told your da everything that happened –'

‘But nothing happened!' Ondine protested.

‘Sweetheart, it's not your fault, and you have nothing to feel embarrassed about. Vincent's the one with the problems, not you.'

‘But . . . how did you know?'

‘Hamish told me, because he was concerned for you.' Ma embraced Ondine in a hug and gently rubbed her back. ‘We all think you've been very brave and Vincent's going to get what's coming. Aunt Col's looking into it. She could turn him into a toad or a slug. Which would you prefer?'

Ondine smiled in relief. And hey, Ma had called Shambles Hamish again.

‘It's good to see you smile. I have some more good news. I was going to wait until the end of your grounding to let you know about school, but you need cheering up. Ondi, we do have the money. You can take the classes you want.'

Hope sparkled in Ondine's veins; she would have a life again! Then confusion made her head turn fuzzy. ‘But . . . but why did you say we didn't?'

‘Because I wanted you to think about your actions, and to realise that they have consequences,' Ma said.

After the altercation with Lord Vincent, Ondine hardly needed a reminder, but she was also intrigued by their sudden return to wealth. ‘So . . . how much money do we have?'

Ma gave her a knowing smile, then kissed her on the forehead. ‘Enough. Not enough to be silly with, but enough. It's getting late, you should go to sleep,' she said, closing the subject.

Part of Ondine wanted to give her mother a good old-fashioned yelling at for scaring her so much. Another part wanted to wrap her arms around her and hug her till they both dissolved into tears. The second idea won out.

Tears poured out.

‘I love you, Ma.'

‘I love you too, sweetheart. But better save your tears for the morning, Ondi. Aunt Col is leaving and she'll be taking Shambles with her, so they can work out a way to reverse the spell for good.'

Cold dread snaked around Ondine's heart and gave a squeeze. ‘Tomorrow?' she croaked.

‘I'm afraid so. Just as well he's back to being a ferret, otherwise I'd be worried you might try something
stupid. And then I'd have three weddings to plan instead of two. I'd best be getting back to the kitchen. Goodnight, dear.' With that Ma closed the door behind her, leaving Ondine feeling confused and frustrated.

Old Col would be taking Hamish with her? Then another thought smacked her. Three weddings? Her parents were so stuck in the past!

The minute you're interested in a boy they want to marry you off.

From underneath the bed, she heard, ‘Want to try something stupid?'

To her shock, she saw Hamish looking up at her. The real Hamish McPhee, not the ferret but the man. With a devilish grin on his face.

 

62
Anyone whose parents run a restaurant will attest that these things do happen. Friends who come home with you after school think it's ‘fun' to iron tablecloths and do the dishes. That is, until they realise at the end of the night the parental units think it's all ‘fun' as well, and give lollies instead of cash payment for work done. Said ‘friends' will then never come back.

63
Seriously, what's with the scrunched-up napkin in the middle of a dirty plate? It looks revolting. Have you any idea how hard it is to get blueberry roulade stains out of linen napkins? Just line your knife and fork together across the centre of the plate, with the tip of the knife at twelve o'clock. If you've grown up with digital clocks, seek urgent deportment lessons.

64
‘All reekie' means ‘smelly'. Not to be confused with Auld Reekie, otherwise known as Edinburgh.

65
‘Laldy' means ‘to do something with great vigour', whether delivering a beating, using a credit card or playing the piano.

‘Y
ou're you again!' Ondine said, although she fought to keep her voice down in case she alerted anyone else to Hamish's sudden change in circumstances.

A roguish smile split his face. ‘Aye, and I'm all skin no fur, so throw me a coat, will ye? And ye might want one for yerself, yer looken peely-wally.'
⁶⁶

Ondine leapt from the bed, half in shock, half in excitement. Her mind ran through several scenarios.

‘You're human again, so that means you don't have to leave with Old Col tomorrow. You can make your own decisions. I mean, you can still go with her if you want, but you could just as easily stay. I'm
sure Ma would appreciate the extra labour.'

‘Draw breath, lass. Yer sounding just like yer mither, jumping from one thing to the next. Now give me a coat, I don't intend to spend the night under yer bed with fluff bunnies in me jacksie.'

Ondine trod softly to her wardrobe to fetch her biggest coat. The last thing she needed now was her mother back at the door, wondering who she was talking to.

Except her mother would say ‘to whom she was talking'. Gah! Even in her thoughts she could hear the corrections.

‘You look ridiculous,' Ondine whispered, as she covered a giggle with her hand. Her biggest coat barely fitted over Hamish's broad shoulders. Two long, hairy legs poking out underneath completed the silliness.

‘We'll need to get yer da, borrow his clothes for a while until I can get some of me own.'

‘At this time of night? I don't want to be the one to wake him. It's his first night off in ages. You've seen him grumpy. If you rouse him now it'll be like poking a wasps' nest. I'll find you a spare room for the night
and we can see him in the morning.' At that, Ondine reached into her jacket pocket for her bunch of keys and found them missing. She checked the other pocket as a rising sense of panic made her hands tremble.

‘I can't find my keys! I must have dropped them outside or left them in the kitchen or something.'

‘Or that toerag took them.' Hamish practically spat the words out. He stripped the bed covers, grabbed the top sheet and wrapped it around himself like a bad kilt. In the process he gave Ondine a quick flash of firm upper thigh. Just how a girl was supposed to concentrate with such a distraction was beyond her.

‘Think about it,' he said, tucking the fabric around his waist. ‘Why else would he want to get ye alone?'

Why else indeed?
Ondine thought with a sagging heart.

‘I didnae mean to say it like that,' he added.

So he could read minds now? Ondine shook her head. The man was blunt, but he was also right. The whole thing with Lord Vincent smacked of a set-up, perhaps from the night she first laid eyes on him.

‘The night we warned the Duke . . .' she started.

‘Eh?' Hamish interrupted.

‘Vincent was there in the palace – he was listening to us when we spoke to his father. And now he knows about the jewellery and the money. Maybe he knew all along?'

‘Aye, nawt much gets past ye.'

Ondine slumped on to the side of her bed, and Hamish sat close beside her. Too close, making the hairs on her arms stand up.

‘Be honest with me. You saw all of this coming, didn't you?' she asked.

For a moment he was quiet, then he turned to face her, taking her chin in his fingers. ‘I didn't know at first, but I knew I didn't like him. He told his da his friends had been sick after eating here, and the Duke believed him, and that's when he set the health inspector on to us.'