Once Upon a Shifter (60 page)

Without looking at any of the men, Mena walked out of the cage and left the room, leaving them all standing there looking like jackasses.

Phoenix sighed heavily as he responded to Rhodes' text message.

Mena was feeling sick, too. Roel brought her to my house. Must be a bug going around or something. Get some rest and meet us at her residence at 7:00 p.m.

He hit send, then walked to his chamber.

Chapter 33

Mena

So much for being happy, I thought as I closed myself inside Phoenix's bathroom and started a bath, adding a generous amount of the bubble bath Lea had stocked for me.

Looking in the mirror wasn't going to happen, not until I got all of Dana's blood off my body. I couldn't imagine my dreams would be pleasant for a long while, either. Even though I wanted to tell myself that my wolf was the one who had done all the killing, I knew it was a lie.

I had wanted her dead, and I hadn't tried to stop the wolf from taking every drastic measure she had in destroying someone who had wronged us.

What kind of person did that make me? A bad one? Of course it did. The remorse was threatening to choke me while my wolf was gloating inside my head about her first kill. Wait—Marc had been our first and Chris had been our second, so I guess Dana would make our third. Regardless, Marc and Chris' deaths had only happened because I was trying to defend myself, while Dana had been murdered, slaughtered, ripped apart; it was cold-blooded murder and I knew it. Her blood was still on my hands. That's what was eating me alive on the inside. I knew there would be more. My wolf was itching for more. How many more would it take to drive me over the edge?

"Shut down my emotions, please,"
I said to her through my thoughts.
"I don't want to feel anything right now."

She didn't respond with words, but I could feel the grief and anxiety slowly slip away from my body and mind. I sighed in relief as I sank down farther into the hot water and bubbles.

A soft knock sounded from the door, but I didn't tell Phoenix to come in. I knew him well enough—an invitation wouldn't be required. I didn't have anything to say to him that I hadn't already said, but the door was opening, so I assumed he felt our conversation wasn't over.

I didn't even care anymore.

To my surprise, he shut the door and pulled the t-shirt over his head. I didn't freak out, but I was curious.

"What are you doing?" I said as I stared in admiration at that perfect torso.

Letting the black fabric slip from his fingers, he didn't answer me as he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. I was prepared to find him wearing boxers or maybe even boxer briefs but, boy, did I get a shock when that denim fell down around his ankles.

My brow popped up as my lips twitched at the corner. "Commando, eh?"

He shrugged as he kicked the shoes and jeans from his feet. After taking his socks off, he walked to the bathtub and just stood there, looking down at me. It hadn't gone unnoticed by me that he hadn't said a word since he came into the room. There was something else that hadn't gone unnoticed by me, a big something, and it was right at my eye level.

It could have been the hot water that caused my cheeks to flush, but why lie to myself?

Despite being in the room with a naked woman, he wasn't erect, not even a little bit. Did he have that much control or did he not find me attractive anymore? I wondered why he would even come into the bathroom and strip in front of me if he didn't intend to seduce me. This man was so confusing.

Since two things were really obvious, one being he had no interest in talking yet, and the second being that he wanted to get in the bathtub with me, I did what any smart girl would do in my situation and raised up so he could step in behind me.

That was all the invitation he needed, and after he got settled in behind me, one leg stretched out on either side of me, he took a folded washcloth from the built-in shelf in the wall, dipped it in the steaming water, lathered it with the body wash that smelled like sandalwood, and then began to cleanse my skin with it. I loved the fragrance—it smelled just like him, but there was also a sweeter smell that came from his skin, a smell that I knew could never be bottled and sold. It was like a pheromone to me. I was addicted to his scent.

I thought about being a smartass and saying something like 'I'm fully capable of washing my own body,' or 'I'm supposed to be mad at you,' but all that passed through my lips was a moan of approval when he dropped the cloth and his magic fingers began kneading the muscles in my neck, shoulders and back.

I realized in that moment that he was giving me what I needed. He was always trying to give me what I
needed
: security, safety, encouragement, helping me find my courage, helping me solve my problems, helping me defeat my inner demons—or wolf, in my case—and just being there for me. He had always been there for me. It had backfired and we had bumped heads more times than I cared to mention, but he was always there, helping me through everything and giving me what I needed. And this time wasn't any different. I had just taken the life of one of my pack members and he somehow knew that I was hurting inside and needed him to just be there for me.

"Thank you, Phoenix," I said, and picked up the washcloth that was floating in the water, so I could wash my face before he saw the tear tracks streaked through the dried blood on my cheeks. I'm sure he probably already knew that I was crying from the thickness of my voice, and even if he didn't know, he was about to. My body started trembling and my shoulders shook as I gave a heaving breath, and then the uncontrollable sobbing began.

Phoenix stilled for only a moment before pulling me back against him, crossing my arms over my chest and just holding me tight in his embrace as I let the day's events overwhelm me.

I felt the soft pressure of his lips on my hair and then my temple as he tried to console me.

For a man who refused to love, he sure loved a lot. Nobody had ever been so tender and loving toward me. I would never force him to say it. Words were just words. I knew the affection he showed me had a bigger name than lust or obsession, but those three words didn't matter anyway. Marc had said them, and they hadn't meant a damn thing to that man. Phoenix, on the other hand, showed me how he felt, even when he couldn't say the words, even when he didn't know what he himself felt.

Love?
It was just a word, meaningless to me now that Phoenix was showing me so much more than I'd ever known.

I honestly couldn't deny that I had more than lukewarm feelings for Phoenix. I'd lost half my heart to him the moment he walked into the bathroom. I knew he'd messed up—again—but if I knew him at all, he'd had a good reason for it, and of course it would be to give me what I needed. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that he wasn't getting something out of it, too; I hadn't missed how enraged my wolf had become when she'd figured out that I was now linked to a vampire and a handful of werewolves. I honestly saw it as more protection, but she evidently thought—

I sat up quickly in the bathtub and turned to look at Phoenix. His Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed, and his eyes told me they knew I had discovered something he was afraid to talk about, something I shouldn't have figured out so soon.

A slow grin spread across my face and his eyes widened a fraction, like he was scared of me.

"Mena…" he whispered, my name sliding from his lips like an expensive wine.

"Will you tell me the truth?"

He nodded after a moment, and I could tell that he wouldn't lie to me, not even if the truth hurt me.

"Did you link me to you so my wolf wouldn't try to kill you?"

Inhaling deeply, he averted his eyes from mine.

"Phoenix!" I shouted, slapping the water as my temper flared, and he looked back at me, nervous. "You promised you would kill me if she ever tried to kill you. Did you link us so she wouldn't ever try?"

"Yes." He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. It was stupid, but it was the only thing I could think—"

I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled until his mouth met mine.

He sat up quickly, immediately responding to the kiss and sloshing water over the side of the jetted tub. My earlier thought of whether he was attracted to me or not was evident now; he'd just been upholding his promise of not touching me while I was staying with him.

Such a gentleman, he was. It just so happened I didn't want a gentleman. I wanted Phoenix, all of him, hard and raw.

He got to his knees and pulled me up with him, never breaking contact with my mouth as his fingers dove into my hair, gripping the matted tresses and pulling me until the pressure on my lips was almost painful.

This man kissed me like I was air that he needed to live. I had never in my life been kissed like that. Not by Marc or any guy I'd dated in high school before him.

He broke away from my mouth, pulling my hair, exposing my neck to him. I expected him to strike—I wanted him to, desperately—but he didn't, and I wondered if my blood would hurt him because I was a werewolf and he was a vampire. Instead, he kissed along my jaw line, down the left side of my neck and stopped at my collarbone.

The pause made me pull him closer, encouraging him to continue, but he resisted.

"Mena, I—I can't… I promised I wouldn't—"

I gripped his damp hair and jerked his head back, forcing eye contact. "Screw the promises. I need you tonight, Phoenix, and I'm not looking for the fucking missionary position."

He released a short breath as he stared into my eyes, and then something changed in those cool blue irises and I could see the decision he'd made; I was going to get my way.

"You want me?" he rasped.

I grinned. "Isn't it obvious?"

He growled as he slapped the wall with his palm, causing me to jump. "I don't break promises, Mena, especially not to people I care about, and there aren't many of them. Actually…" he let his gaze fall away from me, "…you are the only person I care about. I don't want to let you down, but it seems like I always am—"

I shook my head, disappointed. Yeah, he was letting me down, all right. I had practically thrown myself at him and he freakin' cock-blocked me with some sappy-ass excuse about a broken promise!

I stepped out of the tub, with an aggravated huff, and walked around the tiled wall to the shower.

"Mena," Phoenix said in a pleading tone, and the sloshing of water could be heard as he stepped out to follow me. "I wasn't finished talking. Please stop running from me," he said, stopping directly under the shower head as my hand lifted to grab the faucet lever.

"Get out of my way so I can wash the rest of Dana off my body and out of my hair." I tried to shove him, but he didn't budge. "Move, jerk!"

"Just talk to me, damn it! I don't want you to—"

"Talk!" I laughed, menacingly as the hand not on the shower lever came up to gesture toward him. "
You
want to talk? You're a guy, Phoenix! Since when would guys rather talk than fuck? If you didn't notice, I don't actually have talking on my mind right now!"

"No, right now you are pissed at me, but I need to know—"

I yanked the lever up and ice-cold water sprayed out of the nozzle so fast that he couldn't get away before it soaked his entire body.

He shrieked, frozen in the icy blast. I grabbed a towel and darted out the door, quickly wrapping it around my body as I ran for the basement stairs. It was still daylight; he couldn't go up to the main floor.

"Mena, wait!" Phoenix shouted as I jerked the chamber door open and ran out.

I wasn't waiting. This day had gone from bad to worse, and it sucked to think the worst part of my day was being rejected by my boyfriend! At least my wolf hadn't piped in to give her two-cents worth of bullshit. I couldn't deal with two assholes right now.

I was two steps up the stairs to the main floor when an arm wrapped around my waist and Phoenix was hauling me back in the opposite direction, tucked under his arm like a damn ragdoll or something. God, what was his deal?

Slapping and kicking proved to be useless; the man was like a fortress.

"Let me go!" I screamed.

"I thought you wanted to fuck, Mena."

Jaxon's door opened up ahead and he stepped out to see what the commotion was about. His eyes widened when he saw Phoenix's naked form stomping up the corridor with me in only a towel.

"Jaxon!" I shouted as I reached for him. "Help me—"

"Go back to bed, Jaxon!" Phoenix demanded, and Jaxon disappeared behind the slamming door.

Shit!
"Put me down, Phoenix! I don't want you anymore!"

He chuckled. "Oh, yes, you do, and you're about to get all that you bargained for, baby."

Phoenix stormed through his doorway and kicked the door shut with his foot.

"I'm not joking," I growled out through a clenched jaw. "This isn't funny! Call Alex. I want him to come get me now—"

I yelped when he threw me and I landed on his bed, but I quickly got to my hands and knees and scrambled to the other side of the mattress.

Not anticipating that he would be waiting for me there, I opened my mouth to scream when he grabbed my arms, but my bare feet were on the floor and my back was against the wall before any noise escaped my lips.

His hard body pressed me against the cool stone wall, his long, slender fingers gripping both my wrists and pinning them above my head while his heavy, labored breathing blew against my mouth.

As he ground his erection against my pelvis, I went from wanting to get the hell away from him to wanting to kiss him in less than a nanosecond. Somehow he always knew exactly what to do or what to say to change my mind.

"You're not going anywhere, Mena," his husky voice growled, sending chills throughout my body. "Not when you have sex on your mind, Lupacchiotto."

What a coincidence. I didn't actually want to go anywhere anymore, not unless it was to his bed.