Once Upon A Half-Time: A Secret Baby Romance (59 page)

Son of a bitch.

Josie’s mouth dropped open.

“I was trying to buy your goddamned property, to settle this fucking dispute once and for all. Then this asshole rammed my head into the wall.”

I should have shut him up, but Josie sputtered, confused. Bob grunted.

“Don’t try to play dumb. You sent him to intimidate me into paying more money, and it damn well worked.”

So much for him not
telling a soul
like he fucking promised in exchange for leaving his jaw unbroken. Not like I wanted to waste my energy on the town drunk, but I was hired to send a message. Christ, the money I got for the job was spent before I earned it anyway.

Josie stepped away from both me and Bob. “Maddox threatened you?”

Bob sneered, staggering as whatever he drank finally caught up to him. “Cracked a rib. Shoulda sent him the medical bill, but he got his time in jail. Asshole.” He flipped me off. “Keep your damn property. Ain’t giving you or your family a dime.”

“We never asked for—”

“Christ, had I known Matthias would have blown through the insurance money and been strapped to a hospital bed, I’d have lit the match years ago.”

Holy
shit
.

Every muscle in my body rent, and I tasted bile. Bob tripped over his feet, stalking away.

That son of a bitch wasn’t getting far.

I raced after him, but Josie caught my arm. She spun me back, but she hadn’t heard the spiteful, vile truth of Bob Ragen’s words.

I knew the racist prick would one day cause trouble for Josie and her family. But was he just threatening us? Or did he admit his fucking guilt?

Hell if I knew, but I couldn’t find out if Josie didn’t let me go.

Her words punched through me.

“Did you…did you
assault
him?” She already knew the answer. “I can’t believe this! Why the hell would you attack him for
offering
on my property?”

“Josie—”

“Don’t.” She pointed at me. “Maddox, I knew you were trouble when I started dating you. I knew your history, and I knew you were dangerous…but this?” She stepped away, every inch separating us ripping through my heart. “This is why we can’t be together. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Let me explain.”

She shook her head. Her voice wavered.

Fuck. I made her cry.

“I’m sorry, Maddox. This is over.”

“I’m sorry too…because you’re not leaving me.” I grabbed her hand before she could escape. She struggled, but my grip tightened. “I’m not letting you go until you understand why I did what I did.”

“Why would I even listen?”

“Because you know you’re in danger.” I held her gaze. “And I’m the only one who can protect you.”

“
L
et go of me
!”

It wasn’t the first time Maddox carried me home, but this wasn’t like the time he accidentally got me drunk on an iced tea that was a little too long-island for my tolerances. He hauled me over his shoulders. When I tried to wiggle away, he smacked my behind.

Hard.

Then he threatened to carry me all the way to his motel room.

I never feared Maddox before, but I had every reason to get pissed at him.
Assaulting
Bob Ragen? Was he insane?

And he wondered why I said he was bad for me. Why the town thought he was
dangerous.

No wonder Chief Craig had searched for a way to put him behind bars. Maddox lived on the wrong side of the law, never responding to a conflict like a reasonable person. He didn’t look for trouble, but he never hid from it either. And every time he came home with a black eye or busted lip, he asked
me
for forgiveness.

I couldn’t pardon his crimes, but I’d take responsibility for them, for what would happen if we stayed together. I couldn’t handle blood on our hands, and I was running out of ways to prevent it from spilling.

Maddox’s rented room stank of cigarettes, but he didn’t smoke. He set me on the bed next to a scorch mark. I ignored it and picked up the glass on the nightstand.

Lipstick prints.

My imagination was pretty vivid, but Maddox shook his head.

“Chelsea’s been staying here. It’s hers.” He held his arms out. “You know I’m faithful.”

“It doesn’t matter, Maddox.”

“Bullshit.”

Maddox spun the chair out from under the desk and sat. He stared at me, unashamed that he just dragged me through town. He’d never apologize. It wasn’t his style. Wasn’t how our relationship worked. He used his strength and stubbornness to get what he wanted.

Well, it wasn’t working this time. The entire town saw him with me at the meeting. Nolan especially. I endured most people’s judgments, but Nolan’s grimace wasn’t meant to shame me. It was a warning for me to stay away from Maddox.

And maybe he was right. If Maddox stayed, Nolan would hurt him. At least the decision was made easier knowing that Maddox was as dangerous as Nolan.

“This is the last time we do this.” I suppressed the indignation. I couldn’t out-attitude Maddox, but I’d make him listen. “I need you to respect what I’m about to say.”

“I always do…when you’re right.”

“I’m right in this.” I didn’t look at him. “A year ago, I broke up with you. I did it for a reason, and you proved it was the right one today. I want you out of my life.”

“Because I threatened Bob Ragen a year ago?”

“Because
nothing
has changed since a year ago.”

“Bullshit.” Maddox tossed the chair back. He paced the room, but he wasn’t a man for indecision and waiting. How long until he did something foolish? “Bob Ragen was the first to call the police during the fire.”

“This has nothing to do with the fire.”

“Of course it does! Why was Bob Ragen at his store at ten o’clock that night? Don’t tell me his schedule is any different since I’ve been in jail. He always closes his shop at five, hits the bar, and stumbles home after last call. Somehow I doubt Saint Christie has a thriving AA program he’s attending instead.”

“What are you saying?”

“Did you hear what he said? If he had known the problems it would’ve caused your family, he would have
lit the match years ago
.”

I didn’t feel so good. I stood, swallowing the bile that rose.

This wasn’t happening.

“Now you think
Bob Ragen
burned down my store?” I whispered.

“Doesn’t it make sense? He was in a property dispute with your family. Hates your granddad and you. He’s a goddamned
racist
, and he wanted to send a message.”

A message… or retaliation? “And he only struck the match after you intimidated him.”

Maddox had the decency to look ashamed. “Maybe.”

“This is ridiculous.” I wove my fingers through my hair. Felt like I tied my scarf too tightly and everything that made sense was getting squeezed out of my head. “I thought you were convinced it was Chief Craig?”

“I am. Maybe.” He shrugged. “Look, Chief Craig was following me that night. He knew I was alone and had no alibi. Maybe he took the chance and set fire to your shop, not realizing Matt and you wouldn’t get out in time. I saved you, but he was able to frame me.”

My heart thudded too hard against my chest. This had to end. Now.

I revealed exactly what I knew in my gut. “Or maybe Nolan Rhys was upset because I refused to sleep with him? I didn’t sell him the property he wanted—the property he already had mapped, zoned, and planned for a conversion into a bed-and-breakfast. He offered me ten times what the property was worth and took it
personally
when I refused him.”

Maddox hesitated. “Maybe.”

“Not
maybe
. Nolan is the arsonist, no question. I’ll prove it to the town.” I turned to leave. “But I’m doing it alone, Maddox.”

His hand flattened on the door the instant I pulled it open. It slammed shut. What was he trying to prove?

Maddox stepped behind me, entirely too close for the blistering confusion and rage coursing through my veins. I protected a man who didn’t deserve protection. I didn’t want to lose him, but who was I losing? A lover…or a man slipping from the house late at night only to return bruised and bloody?

“I dealt with Bob a long time ago, Josie.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

“I only wanted to protect you.”

That was the most idiotic thing I’d ever heard. I spun, pushing his arm from the door and forcing him to hold my gaze. I’d never intimidate him, and I was cruel enough to break his heart, but he had betrayed me. He used my name to hurt another person, and that was inexcusable.

“You want to protect me?” I whispered.

“Yes.”

“You can’t.”

Maddox slammed a second hand beside me. I edged back, but it only invited him closer.

“You think I can’t keep you safe? You think I won’t find the son of a bitch who did this, who hurt you, who
framed
me and separated us?”

“It won’t matter what you do.”

“Why?”

I hated that I had to say it. “Because it’s your fault it happened.”

His eyes blazed, dark and fierce. “I didn’t torch your shop.”

“You didn’t have to.” I dodged his arm, but he didn’t let me go. He pinned me on the door, and damn if I didn’t want to feel more of him against me. “You didn’t light the match, but my shop burned because of you. Chief Craig and you were feuding. Bob Regan is a racist prick, but he left my family alone—until you
assaulted
him in his store.”

Maddox looked away. His arms dropped, but I didn’t move. My chest rose in ragged breaths, shuddering as my heart shattered.

“And if it was Nolan?” I dared to meet his eyes. The darkness shadowed his face. “He framed you because it would hurt us both. You antagonized him, even when you had me, even when we were together. Do you get it now?”

He didn’t answer. I didn’t expect one.

“You aren’t the arsonist. You were the fuel on the fire, all because you wanted to
protect
me.”

Maddox gritted his teeth. “I never wanted that to happen. I hate myself for dragging you into my life, through the blood and violence and gangs. I don’t fucking deserve you. I never deserved you. I’ve always been the shit on the bottom of your shoe, but just knowing I had a
chance
to make you mine forced me to change. If I could shed that past, it’d be gone in a second.”

“This isn’t about your past.”

“You made me a better man.”

I shook my head. “Don’t say that.”

“You saved my life, Josie.”

“You don’t believe that.”

He bit back. “Why the fuck wouldn’t I believe it?”

“You can’t talk about changing and bettering yourself and
loving
me when I know what you’ll do when you find the man who framed you. Don’t promise me the world and then bleed it dry for your revenge.”

Maddox pushed off the door. “That’s different, Sweets.”

“If you can’t see how
murder
is different—”

“It’s
revenge
.”

“Well, I’m not looking for revenge. I want
justice
. I want Nolan behind bars where he belongs.”

He laughed, but I didn’t get the joke. “That’s not how the world works. You know better than that.”

I was getting tired of people condescending to me, pretending they knew better because they had hurt more than me. I didn’t answer.

“Even a little town like Saint Christie is corrupt to the core,” Maddox said. “There’s no justice when everyone is a victim.”

“Only one of us is corrupted, Maddox.”

“You’ve seen the racism. The hatred. We have a police chief who would hurt innocent people. A damned mayor who lusts after you. Hell, your own grandfather was taken for a ride by his bookie—”

“Don’t you dare bring Granddad into this.”

“Why not?” Maddox didn’t let me look away. “He was hurt in that fire too. Josie, someone is lurking in this town who would destroy your store and hurt your family in cold blood. And if you don’t think the rest of the world is a mirror-fucking-image of this town, then you’re not naïve—you’re goddamned ignorant.”

One step too far.

My temper flared. “We haven’t lived the same life. I won’t pretend to know what you’ve done, what you’ve seen. But the world isn’t that dark alley you crawled around in. It’s not all violence and rage.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Only if you make it that way.” My words thickened, forced through the sticky, syrupy sludge that was my own heartbreak. “You want a reason we can’t be together? Right there. That’s why we’re incompatible. You’re looking for revenge to answer for our past. I want justice so we could have a future together.”

Uh-oh. I said too much.

Maddox loomed. I shrugged him away. I wasn’t letting him touch me, hold me.

His voice softened but it never lost that feral threat. “Do you still hope we can work it out?”

“Of course I do,” I said. “All I have is
hope
. But that dream of us together? It won’t come true if you’re obsessed with that vengeance. I can’t love a murderer.”

“But wouldn’t you feel safer knowing that arsonist was gone?” Maddox cupped my chin. “If it was Nolan Rhys, the law can’t touch him. We can’t trust the courts, and he could buy his way out of any sentence a judge passed. He’d get away with arson, and then he’d come back for you.”

No. He wouldn’t try to hurt me.

He’d aim for Maddox instead.

And for the first time, I almost wished I could let Maddox take that revenge, if only because it started to sound like his only form of self-defense. But everyone would know. They’d immediately suspect him. They’d take him away, and I’d lose him to prison forever.

My eyes prickled with tears.

“I won’t be a part of it,” I whispered. “I won’t let you do it.”

“
Why
?”

“Because I already lost you once for a year. I won’t lose the man I love to a
lifetime
in jail.”

I spoke too fast, without thinking, and revealed everything I’d hidden from him. I spun for the door. Maddox grabbed me, forcing me into his arms. My back pressed to his chest, and his thick arms coiled over my waist.

“You still love me?” His words rasped, a fracturing growl.

What was I supposed to say? “I never stopped.”

“Why did you break up with me?” he asked. I couldn’t answer, not when both our lives were endangered by the admission. “You said you didn’t want me anymore.”

I swallowed the truth. “I had to do what was best for me.”

“I’ve never been what’s best for you,” he said. “But, Sweets, you know I tried.”

“We can’t be together.”

“Why?” He moved closer, his scent enveloping me in every spiced danger I recognized from my mistakes in the past.

Were they mistakes?

“I have to go,” I said.

“Stop fucking running from me!” He took my hand, gripping as I tugged. “You love me.”

And because of that, I couldn’t save him. “I’m leaving.”

“You
love
me, Josie!” Maddox’s eyes flared with a dark, explosive threat. “I’ll prove that you can’t live without me.”

Maddox silenced my protests with the harsh bite of his lips.

Every time I tried to run, he followed.

Anytime I fell, he caught me.

And whenever I denied my desire for him, he dominated my body until I had no choice but to obey.

My heart shredded itself. Every resistance in my mind faded until only delirious fantasies of him, for him, because of him remained.

“I’m gonna remind you what it means to be loved by me.” Maddox’s words rumbled, threatening and wild. “You’ll count every bite. Hide every bruise. Ignore every ache. By the time I’m done with you, you’re gonna remember how much you love to be taken by me.”

I’d never forgotten, but I lived for the lesson. Problem was it was
wrong
.

He led me to the bed and ignored me when I broke his kiss to warn him to think clearly, rationally. But nothing was
rational
with Maddox. He existed in moments of passion. His touch was rough. His kiss too intense. Nights with him were raw and demanding, and most mornings began with an embrace wilder than the night before.

He was wrong for me.

I fell onto the bed.

He wanted too much from me.

My shirt pulled off.

His strength should have frightened me. He was too powerful, straining with muscle, fierce from a life chiseled from the streets. He was rough. He was feral.

Dominating.

But he desired more than a submissive body tethered to a bed, begging for mercy. He wanted
me
. From the first time we touched to the last time we parted, I met every one of Maddox’s demands with the same intensity. My pleasure was his and his mine. Long ago, we spent night after night twisting in the sheets, just
loving
each other and damning the consequences. We were once lovers. Partners.

And we had
almost
become a family. I regretted never sharing that precious moment with him when we created a life.