Once Upon a Christmas Kiss (15 page)

They’d finally stopped, some of the men having called for the card tables to be set up, when Lucien saw Leaming approach the corner where Winnie sat chatting with Lady Emily and Lord Stannis. It wasn’t so unusual for the fellow to speak to his friend Stannis, but despite Leaming’s protestations that afternoon about the accident, Lucien couldn’t help the urge to rush to Winnie’s side just in case the younger man was intent on mischief.

He was glad of the instinct when he saw Leaming pushing her chair a few feet away from the others.

“Mind if I join you?” Lucien asked, stepping in front of the chair.

Leaming’s mouth tightened in annoyance. “You needn’t play the protector, you know. I was simply going to have a private word with the lady.”

But Lucien kept his gaze on Winnie. She looked wary—and perhaps grateful for his presence?

“Anything you have to say to me, Lord Leaming,” she said in a firm tone he’d heard her use with her charges, “you may also say before Sir Lucien.”

Leaming looked as if he wished to protest, but perhaps realizing that he’d get no other opportunity to speak his piece, he gave a slight shrug. Stepping around to the other side of the chair where he might face Winnie, he said, “I wish to apologize to you, Miss Nightingale. I had no intention of harming you this afternoon. I only wished to frighten you a bit, that’s all.”

Lucien felt Winnie stiffen where his hand lay in support on her shoulder.

“But why?” she asked, her voice aggrieved. “I mean why all of it? The blackmail. The sled. All of it?”

To Lucien’s surprise, Leaming looked uncomfortable. “You know why,” he admitted. “Because of what happened between us all those years ago. I was used to getting my own way in those days. It never occurred to me that pressing my attentions on you or any other lady in my father’s employ was wrong. He did it all the time. But when you disappeared, my mother boxed my ears and told me that if I cost her another servant she’d have my father cut me off. And I believed her.”

“Why now, though?” Winnie persisted. “As punishment?”

“Yes,” he admitted. “Because I blamed you for the way my life has turned out. It seems like ever since you ran away, things have gone wrong for me. Right down to the carriage accident that sent Stannis and me seeking shelter here. So, I decided to give you a bit of a scare. But I never knew that bloo…dashed great stone would block our path. And I never hoped to do you an injury.”

It was an uncomfortable admission. Lucien could see that from the slump of the younger man’s shoulders and the way his brow furrowed. And his apology seemed sincere. Even so, he had a hard time forgiving him for his actions so many years ago. Even if he had been a young buck when it happened. In Lucien’s opinion, men who preyed on women who were under their protection were a special kind of evil. Even so, he knew it had taken courage for Leaming to admit his mistake. Though if Lucien were splitting hairs, he’d note that Leaming hadn’t actually apologized for his action, merely explained his reasoning.

“I am pleased to hear you did not intend to harm me today,” Winnie said with a calm that impressed Lucien. He wasn’t so sure he’d be as sanguine in her position. “But thus far you have not actually apologized.”

He heard the steel in her voice and silently cheered her courage. She was really quite magnificent when she was angry.

Leaming looked at his shoes, then straightened his shoulders and said, “You are right, Miss Nightingale. I haven’t. But I am now. I am sincerely sorry for frightening you. At my father’s house, and the rest of my ill behavior this whole week. And I hope you’ll find in yourself to forgive me, though I will understand if you do not.”

It was much more than Lucien had expected from the young man, and he made a mental note to give him a word of encouragement later. But now he was intent on offering Winnie his support.

She paused, though whether it was to make Leaming squirm a bit or simply to give herself a moment to compose herself he did not know. When she finally spoke, it was in a strong voice. “I thank you for your apology, Lord Leaming. And I forgive you. Though I must insist that you think long and hard about your reasons for wishing to frighten me today, and see to it that you do not let your ill will direct your actions again in the future. You know that it is not how a true gentleman behaves.”

“As for your father,” she continued in a kinder voice, “you must know that he is not the only sort of man whose example you may choose to follow. I think your choice of Lord Stannis as a friend is a sound one. Perhaps you can follow his lead a bit, rather than the other way round.”

Lucien noticed the young man’s lips twist at the lecture, but to his credit he didn’t object. After what he’d put Winnie through, if she wished to give him a talking to every hour on the house, he’d do well to heed it.

Once he’d thanked her for hearing him out, Leaming excused himself, looking, at least to Lucien’s eye, a bit lighter as he walked away.

“I hope he will heed your warning,” Lucien said dropping into a chair near Winnie. “Well done, by the way. I’m not sure I’d have been quite so forgiving if I were you.”

Her eyes thoughtful, Winnie said, “My father used to maintain that grudges only harmed the ones who held them. And given the opportunity to let go of mine, I realized that he was correct. I don’t think I’ve felt so free since I ran away from Leaming all those years ago.”

He leaned forward and took her hand in his. “You are too good for the likes of him. Or the likes of me for that matter.”

“I hardly think you are cut from the same cloth,” she said wryly. “You do have a tendency to set my back up, but that’s hardly the same thing.”

“Perhaps not,” he said with a grin, “but I’m no saint, Winnie. It’s best if you don’t think me one.”

“Hush,” she answered, running her thumb over the back of his hand. “You are in no way like Leaming. Not one bit.”

And,” she went on, “if you must know, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to think of reasons why marrying you would be such a terrible idea.”

Lucien’s breath caught in his throat, and he met her eyes to see that she was quite serious.

“I’ve had a discussion with my sister,” she admitted. “And Cordy thinks I’m being foolish. And I begin to think she might be right.”

He could only shake his head in wonder. Was it only this morning he’d despaired of ever convincing her to give them a chance?

“What changed your mind?” he asked, grateful for whatever it turned out to be.

“Many thoughts ran through my mind when I was careening down the hillside with Leaming,” she said, her eyes rueful. “Not least of which was that I might die without ever having spent a night in your arms.”

He caught her hand in his and kissed her palm.

“Will you carry me upstairs now, please?” she asked as the others noisily made their way from the drawing room. In a low voice, she added, “There is something very particular I wish to tell you.”

In Lucien’s experience, there was only one reason for a lady to invite a gentleman into her bedchamber, and it wasn’t to talk.

His heart beating madly, he lifted her into his arms and resisted the urge to take the stairs two at a time.

Chapter Fifteen

Because of Winnie’s injured ankle, no one remarked upon Sir Lucien carrying her into her bedchamber. A laxity in manners that he would have found questionable any other day, but which tonight he found to be a huge relief.

Once he’d lowered her gently onto the bed, which her maid had helpfully turned down, he stepped back a little, awaiting further instruction.

To his amusement, now that she’d got him here, Winnie seemed unsure of what to do with him. He could think of any number of things he’d like her to do, but as a gentleman he felt it would not be proper to mention them just yet.

The silence stretch between them until finally Winnie looked up at him, her blue eyes wide in the lamplight. “I was wondering, Lucien, if you might wish to … ah …—” she paused, as if saying the words was more difficult than she’d imagined “—that is to say, would you like to share my bed tonight?”

He was quite sure he’d never heard sweeter words in his life. Moving forward, he perched on the edge of the bed, taking both her hands in his. “Winnie,” he said, his voice low with emotion, “I would like nothing more than to make love to you tonight. But I need your promise that this means you’re accepting my marriage proposal.”

“Do you mean to say that you wish to make sure I don’t intend to take your innocence and then abandon you?” she asked with a grin. “I promise you, sir, I would do nothing so dishonorable. When I give myself to you it will be forever.”

And though she’d meant the words as a jest, her final statement sent a stab of relief through him. She would be his. Finally.

“I suppose I do sound a bit like a frightened virgin, don’t I?” He grinned. But just as quickly, he became serious. “I asked not for my sake, but for yours. And that of any child we might create. I won’t risk that possibility.”

“I know, my darling,” she said, cupping his face with her hand. “It is one of the things that I so love about you. Your unfailing devotion to my protection.”

“And what I like best about you,” he said, turning to kiss her palm, “is your courage. For I know of no other lady of my acquaintance who could ask me to go to bed with her in the midst of a room full of people.” Then, with a grin, he amended the statement. “At least, no lady of upstanding morals. I feel sure Mrs. Cowper has asked me in any number of subtle and not so subtle ways since my arrival at Sanditon House.”

“Mrs. Coweyes, you mean,” she said with a grin. “It’s my pet name for her. Since she always seems to be making them in your direction.”

Lucien guffawed. “I had no idea you were so ruthless. Or so jealous! Though you must know there is no reason for jealousy. You’re the only lady I’ve been able to see since I first saw you come through the door of Ormond’s music room.”

Then, unable to stay away any longer, he leaned in and kissed her.

***

She could tell from the briefness of it that he meant it only as a reassuring sort of kiss. But even before she realized what she was doing, Winnie had slipped her arms around his warm, strong body and pulled him closer. At the same time, she followed his retreating mouth and gave him a kiss of her own. One that said, “Don’t go” and “Kiss me again.”

Reading her body language with the fluency of a native speaker, Lucien turned his head and kissed her back, opening his mouth over hers and taking charge, slipping his hot tongue past her lips and within. Instinctively, she mimicked his movements and soon they were stroking and nibbling at one another, their mouths locked together even as their bodies strove to get just as close.

As Lucien scraped his teeth over her lower lip, Winnie used her hands to untuck his shirt, grateful that he’d come to her in shirtsleeves—no matter how scandalous that might be in some circles. Sliding her hands over the hot flesh of his torso, she tilted her head as he kissed a path down her neck and over her collarbone, where he stopped to plant a hot kiss that made her lose her breath.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, turning her and kissing the soft skin of her back as one by one he opened the buttons of her gown. She should have been chilled by the exposure, but Winnie felt warmer than she’d ever had in her life.

When her gown was off, she would have continued her exploration of what lay beneath his shirt, but Lucien pressed her lightly to lie back before him, and she was shocked at just how beautiful he was, with his shirt askew and the planes of his face as sharp in the lamplight as cut glass. “Lift up,” he said, his voice low with what she knew was desire. And as she did what he asked, he slid her chemise up and over her head in one fluid movement.

For a moment, embarrassment flooded through her as she lay naked before him. She was sure she’d not been this bare before anyone since she was an infant. And instinctively, she used her arms to cover herself.

But Lucien would have none of it. “Do not hide from me, dear one. There is no shame is showing your body to me. I can assure you I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight in all my days.”

Her mind raced with all sorts of flaws she saw every day in her own glass, but something about the reverence with which he spoke told her that for him his words were the honest truth. And letting all those things fly away into the ether, she allowed herself to revel in the appreciation she saw in his eyes.

Finding strength in his gaze, she said, “I would like to see you, too, Lucien. It is hardly fair for only my nakedness to be revealed.”

“Never let it be said that I’m not a gentleman,” he said with a grin. In one fluid movement he pulled his shirt off over his head, and Winnie could only stare.

She’d never seen a man’s bare chest before, and though she’d felt the hardness of his muscles beneath her hands, seeing it was almost as arousing. Unable to stop herself, she traced the line of hair leading from the middle of his chest down over the indent of his navel and disappearing beneath his breeches. He remained still as a stone as she explored, though she could feel the leashed power rolling off him in waves.

When she made to stroke a hand over his erection, however, he caught her by the wrist.

“Slow down, my dear.” He caught her to him, and kissed her to soften the command. “I want this to last longer than a few seconds. And I’m afraid I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.”

“Not as long as I have,” she whispered as he pressed her back against the cool sheets, covering her body with his.

She felt his hardness against her hip, even as he kissed a path down her neck and over her collarbone, his hands stroking her all the while.

Winnie had never felt anything like this before, and for a moment the sheer intensity of him threatened to overwhelm her. But that was before his mouth closed over her nipple. Aroused, startled, and full of a nameless joy, she cried out. He made soothing noises against her flesh, and when he dipped a hand down to caress her between her legs she cried out again.

When he shifted his body to spread her thighs with his shoulders she knew in some abstract way that she should be terribly shocked, but the soft tickle of his hair against her stomach as he kissed his way downward, coupled with the stroke of his fingers, robbed her of all objections. And it wasn’t just the distraction of her senses, but a bone-deep knowledge that this was right. That she’d been waiting all her life to feel his hands on her. To know the pleasure between them.