Once Upon a Caveman (29 page)

Something
blue and swirling.

And
familiar.

Staring
at it, Lucy recalled falling off the deck of the
Arden
.  Below here, had
been a whirlpool of blue that glowed with an identical unnatural light.  It was
exactly the same glowing whirlpool that Rhawn had drawn on his cave wall. 
Images from his earliest dreams.  How many glowing blue whirlpools could there
be?  It was all the same phenomena and Lucy suddenly knew what it was:

A
portal home.

“Rhawn,
take us underwater!”  She shouted.

“You
would prefer drowning to roasting alive, then?  I think we should try to reach
the beach and…”

Lucy
cut off his complaint.  “I found your blue whirlpool.  Get us down to it.  I
think it’s our ticket to Earth.”

Rhawn
glanced at the whirlpool, jolting to see it right there in front of them.  “I
have been to this lake may times.  That was never here before.”

“Who
cares?  It’s here now.  I think it’s going to lead us home.”

“We
do not know that it will take us to Newyork.  If it is a magical passageway, it
could go anywhere.”

“Luckily
‘anywhere’ is a hell of a lot better than
here
, at the moment.”  She
leaned up to give him a smacking kiss.  “Besides, so long as I’m with you, Rhawn,
I don’t think it matters
where
we end up.”

He
grinned at that logic and held her tight.  “Hold your breath.”  He instructed
and dunked them under the water.

The
blue glow sucked them forward, pulling them in.  Lucy felt like she was
surrounded by something vast and warm.  She looked back up at the surface and
she could see a brief moment of fiery destruction.  Then the water churned
around her, obscuring her view.  Whatever happened to the island, she would
never know.

Lucy
held tight to Rhawn, afraid to let him go for fear he’d be pulled away from
her.  They stayed under for what seemed like forever, caught in the swirling
vortex.  Then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, the whirlpool vanished again. 
It spit them out into dark, dark water, and Lucy didn’t know which way was up.

Everything
was black and it disoriented her.

She
couldn’t breathe.  She couldn’t breathe!  Lucy would’ve panicked, but Rhawn was
already moving them through the water.  They could have been going any
direction on the compass, for all she knew, but she trusted him to figure it
out.  She gripped Rhawn as close as she could, her lungs burning like fire.

Then,
they were bursting into the fresh air.  Finally.  Lucy dragged in greedy gulps
of oxygen, pushing the wet hair from her eyes.  “Rhawn…” she panted, “you…
okay…?”

He
nodded, slightly less out of breath, because he was the fittest man on the
planet.  …Whichever planet they’d landed on.  “Are you alright, goddess?”

“Yeah. 
Where are we?”

“I
don’t know.  But I do not see a volcano.  This is a positive sign.”

Considering
they were apparently stranded in the middle of an inky back sea at night, Lucy
wasn’t so optimistic.  She looked around trying to get her bearings.  It was
definitely salt water and there seemed to be some kind of large floating
structure a few hundred yards away.  It was a ship, except it looked wrong
somehow
. 
Shit.  What if they were stranded on some weird alien future place?  What the
hell were they…?

She
frowned, as a rhythmic, mechanical noise entered her consciousness.

“What
is that?”  Rhawn demanded, staring up at the sky.

“A
helicopter.”  Lucy breathed, recognizing the sound.  The panic faded enough for
her to think and she began to get her bearings.  “It’s a helicopter!”  She
waved a hand in the air, trying to get the pilot’s attention.  “Hey, we’re down
here!”

This
wasn’t some weird alien future place.

She
was back on Earth.
 
Which was weird and alien, but
not
in the
future.

This
was the same time she’d left.  The floating structure off the left was the ship. 
The
Ardin
was on its side, but still buoyant enough that survivors clung
to its sideways decks.  The helicopter was searching for anyone still in the
water, probably with some kind of night vision equipment.

Lucy
began to laugh with relief.  “Rhawn, we did it!  This is home!”

Rhawn
was gaping up at the helicopter an amazed expression on his face.

“It’s
alright.”  Lucy touched his face, bring his eyes around to meet hers. 
“Sweetie, it’s alright.  Remember when I told you that picture you drew on your
wall was an airplane?  Well, that up there,” she pointed to the chopper, “is
its baby brother.  Just a machine someone invented.  We’re safe.”

Rhawn
seemed dazed.  “We are in Newyork?”  He got out.

“No.” 
Lucy grinned as the helicopter’s searchlight flicked on and aimed its beam
right at them.  “But, we’re definitely on our way.”

A
creature moved beneath the water.  Something huge and almost… reptilian.  For
just a second, Lucy processed a long neck and four primeval-looking flippers.  Oh
crap.  Nothing that looked like that had animal been alive for a couple hundred
million years.  In fact, she had a real bad feeling about what just swam past
them.

“Ummm…”
she glanced at Rhawn, “was that a dinosaur?”

“No. 
It is a
jigon. 
It must have traveled through whirlpool with us.”

“Oh.” 
Lucy swallowed, watching the creature slip away.  “Okay.  Because that
really
looks like a plesiosaurs.”  Which technically weren’t dinosaurs, but still
no
way
should it have been alive on planet Ice Age.  God, that island
was just a paleontological mess.  “I think that’s gotta be against the law to
import
jigon
to Earth.  Whatever you do, don’t tell anyone we brought it
here.”

“Just
be grateful it is not interested in eating us.  I told you, they are
monsters.”  Rhawn seemed unconcerned about letting a Mesozoic creature loose on
the modern world.  All his attention was focused on the helicopter.  “I cannot
believe we are really here.”  He murmured.

She
shook her head and decided not to worry about destroying the food web with extinct
marine life, for the moment.  “When they fish us out, just let me do the
talking, okay?  And if anybody asks, the loincloth you’re wearing is really a
designer bathing suit.”

“I
am unfamiliar with that word.”  He looked a little overwhelmed.  “I am unfamiliar
with
many
words, Lucy.”

“That’s
okay.  You’re a genius.  You’ll figure it all out.”

“Are
you sure?  I can already tell, this world is very different than mine.”

“I’m
sure.”  Lucy gave him a quick kiss.  “You’ll be fine.  Trust me.  I know these
things.  After all, I have it on good authority that I’m the Savior.”

Six
Months Later

“I
had a dream last night.”  Rhawn said in a contemplative tone.

Lucy
turned to look at him over the tops of her sunglasses.  “It better not have
been about some other girl.  I might not have magical powers, but I can
improvise with the best of ‘em.”

The
two of them were sitting on their beach, watching the sun sink into the vivid
blue sea.  Island living wasn’t nearly so bad, now that they were back in the
real world.  The lack of volcanoes was serious plus.

Rhawn’s
mouth curved.  “I dream of no other women, Lucy.  You know that.”

The
caveman was fitting into the twenty-first century like a champ.  It would
probably take a while before he completely adapted to running water, frozen
pizza, and Blu-ray players, but it was still impressive to see how quickly he
was learning.  He even seemed to be okay with the warm weather, although he did
keep the air conditioning cranked up to subzero settings.

“I
dreamed of the Clan.”  Rhawn continued leaning back in his Adirondack chair, his
bare feet resting in the gentle surf.  Wearing pants might be old hat for him
now, but he was never going to like shoes.  She could already tell.  “It was
more
than a dream.  It was a vision.  I saw them cross the Infinite Sea.  It took
them three days and they feared they would be lost forever, but finally they
landed on a new island.  A place of waterfalls and purple flowers and vast
herds of mammoths.”  He smiled.  “They are safe there.”

“Thank
God.”  Lucy let out a relieved breath.  “I knew they’d be okay, but deep down… I’ve
been worried.”

“There
is no need to be.  I saw Anniah and Warr-en.  They are well.”

“Good. 
He’s still a dick, but not a
total
dick.  By the end, I feel like he was
kinda my friend and I don’t have a lot of friends.  Plus, he makes Anniah happy.
 I want her to be happy.”  She paused.  “Do you think we’ll ever see them
again?”

“I
do not know how exactly, but… yes.”  Rhawn shrugged.  “I think we will.”

“So
do I.”  Lucy arched a brow.  “And if Warren shows up on this planet again, he’s
going to
love
his statue.”

Clovis
was erecting a life-size version of Warren on the courthouse lawn.  That town
really was
desperate
for someone special to come from their zip code.  For
no reason she could possibly imagine, Lucy had fibbed a little bit about
Warren’s greatness in her statement to the authorities.  In her version, he’d
been a cross between Aqua Man and Gandhi, gallantly saving countless lives
before he was swept overboard and vanished.  The guy who had never been quite
good enough was now enshrined in local memory as a hero.  They were even talking
about renaming the high school in his honor.  His parents had never been
prouder.

She’d
tried to sugarcoat Taffi’s demise, too, but it was clear Tony didn’t much care. 
He and Taffi-Two both seemed happy as hell to be free of her.  As far as Lucy
knew no one had asked about Craig, at all.  It made her sad, even though Taffi
and Craig’s own choices had led to them being unmourned by the world.

Still,
Jessica Alba was in talks to play Taffi in the upcoming made-for-TV-movie about
the cruise ship disaster.  According to the Hollywood idiot who called pitching
the idea (and who Lucy had promptly hung up on) it was going to be, “
Titanic
meets
Sharknado
, man!  Only --like-- if John Hughes directed it.”

Needless
to say, Lucy was opting out of the project, but Taffi would’ve loved the idea. 
In a weird way, she was finally going to be a star.

Amazingly,
everyone else had survived the sinking.  Lucy doubted any of them would be
eager to go to their twentieth high school reunion, but they were alive. 
Knowing what a miracle that was, she didn’t plan to waste even a moment of her
second chance.

“Anniah
and Warr-en will lead the Clan, after Notan.”  Rhawn continued.  Mammoth, their
cute little dog, came trotting over with a tennis ball and Rhawn obligingly
tossed it down the beach for him to chase.  “Warr-en is learning the language.”

“God
help those poor people, once he starts talking.”

Rhawn
chuckled.  “I must admit that it is far quieter in this world.  I quite enjoy
the lack of Warr-en ‘ya knowing’ at me.”  He sighed in contentment.  “I quite
enjoy
everything
here.  All my life I dreamed of this world and of you. 
Now I am living in this magical place, with you by my side, and I have never
been happier.”

God,
Lucy loved this guy.  “Me neither.”  She said sincerely and met his gaze.  She
no longer had to tilt her head every which way to maintain eye contact with him. 
His gaze stayed on hers, confident of its welcome.  “This is where I was always
supposed to be, Rhawn.”

“So
you finally admit I was right about fate?”

Lucy
arched a brow at him.  “Well, if this
was
fate, I think I owe it a big
‘thank you.’”

“You
truly do not miss living in Newyork?”

“No. 
Well, I miss the bagels, but it’s a small price to pay.”  She looked back out
over the water.  “I mean, owning our own private island is a lot less stressful
than working the checkout counter at a bookstore.”

Rhawn
was adjusting better than anyone else ever could have.  He wasn’t even
threatening to cook poor Mammoth, anymore.  In fact, he seemed to like the
scruffy little mutt, once he began to see it as a pet and not a food source.  Living
in a massive city right away would’ve been too big of a culture shock, even for
Rhawn, though.  Lucy didn’t want him overwhelmed.  It seemed far wiser to start
with baby steps.  Something familiar for him.

Luckily,
there were thousands of tiny islands in the Florida Keys and you could buy one
for a couple million bucks.  Which wasn’t really a problem, since that necklace
Anniah gave her was worth thirty times that amount.  Those huge, roughly-cut
diamonds meant that Rhawn and Lucy would be financially secure until the next
Ice Age rolled around.  All they had to do with the rest of their happily ever
after was decide between margaritas and daiquiris.

Still…

“I
was thinking about the future.”  Lucy said, reaching for the sunscreen.  “About
what we’re going to do with it, now that we’re not being shot at or chased by
wolves.”

“My
plans for the future are watching the sunset, practicing lower kissing with my
mate, and eating ice cream.”

“Good
plans.”  She grinned over at him.  “But, I meant
beyond
the sex and ice
cream part.”  Rhawn loved ice cream almost as much as he loved sex, so she
wasn’t surprised by his agenda for the evening.  That’s all a given.  The
question is: What am I going to do with my life, now?  I want to show our
daughter that Mom is someone who goes out and accomplishes great things.”

He
leaned over to kiss her temple.  “How could she ever doubt it?”

“I
spent fifteen years doubting it.”  Lucy squirted some sunscreen onto her
rounded stomach rubbing the white goo into her skin.  All the websites said it
was important to wear a high SPF while pregnant.  “No more, though.  This time
I’m going to be who I’m supposed to be,
every single moment
.”

She
wasn’t worried about what Rhawn would do.  He’d just picked up right where he
left off.  He’d already invented a half-dozen thingamajigs, using the tools and
supplies in his new workshop.  One of them was some bizarre-shaped umbrella
presently shading them and, Lucy had to admit, it worked great.  Once he
figured out computers, the guy was probably going to be filing patents every
other day.  She’d already gotten him a phony birth certificate and social
security number, because the paperwork for all his inventions was going to be
impossible with it.

Also,
they’d need it for their wedding license.

Rhawn
still though it was ridiculous that Lucy wanted a ceremony to declare them
mates.  To his mind, they were already married.  And she knew he was right. 
They
were
married, in every way that mattered.  …But she still wanted a
wedding and she was going to have it.  Besides, Rhawn would love the cake. 
Especially if there was an ice cream layer.

It
was all going to work our perfectly.  Lucy knew that.  Only her job had her floundering. 
What was she going to do next?  For a while, she’d contemplated going back for
her Ph.D.  A thesis on the Ice Age would practically publish itself, now that
she’d experienced it firsthand.  Maybe someday she’d give that a try.  Or she
could track down the
jigon
and
become famous for finding the Lock
Ness Monster.  That would be fun.

But
right now she had a better idea.

“I
was thinking maybe I should write a book.”  She told him.

Rhawn
liked that idea.  Aside from ice cream, books and pillows were his two favorite
parts of modernity.  “A book about your time on the island?”  He asked
excitedly.  “I could help you with that.  I have many stories of men being
eaten by large creatures.  I think those would be very popular tales with your
people.”  He also loved
Godzilla
movies.

“I’m
sure they would, but that’s not quite what I had in mind.”  Lucy murmured.  “The
book is more about what the island taught me.  It’ll be for everybody who isn’t
yet who they always wanted to be.  Everyone who needs a do-over.  Maybe it can
help someone figure things out, like I did.”  She glanced at him.  “I’m going
to call it, ‘How to Change the World, In Three Easy Steps.”

“A
very promising title.”

“I
thought so.”  She agreed.  “Step one is paying attention to how we’re
all
special.  Because everyone is.”

“It
sounds like you are becoming not so antisocial, after all.”  He teased.

“Don’t
bet on it.  Our kid is going to have your stratospherically high IQ and my terrible
people skills.  I can already guarantee it.”  She shrugged.  “But step
two
is accepting yourself and others for who you are, and not living in the past,
so I’m okay with that.”

Rhawn
reached over catch hold of her palm.  “Our child will be beautiful and kind and
brilliant, just like her mother.  She could be nothing else.”  He paused.  “I
would not mind if she had my eyes, though.”  Being in a world where eyes came
in all colors had helped him to see his weren’t a curse, after all.  “Or maybe
she could have one green and one brown.  That would be fair.”

“Maybe.” 
Lucy allowed and smiled at him.  “Step three is finding someone who inspires
you to be your very best self.  The person you
really
are, deep inside.  And
that’s what you do for me, Rhawn.  I am so,
so
happy.  I wake up every
day and Choose you all over again.”

“You
are every dream I ever had.”  He kissed the back of Lucy’s hand, although it
probably tasted like sunblock.  “I would gladly live in any world at all, so
long as you were with me.”

“But
ice cream world is
way
better than the sabretooth one.  Admit it.”

Rhawn
laughed and moved their joined hands so the rested on her stomach.  “
Vando
,
Lucy.”

She
arched a brow.  “One of these days you’re going to have to tell me why you’re
always trying to seduce me with the word ‘lungs.’  It’s seriously a weird
pickup line.”

He
smirked.  “It seems to have served me well, so far.”

“Yeah,
let’s see how lucky you get
tonight
with that kind of sweet talk.”

“It
technically means
no
lungs.”  Rhawn offered, as if that might help make
the endearment more palatable.

It
didn’t.

“No
lungs?  Lovely.  How is suffocation romantic?”

“It’s
to signify a
feeling
, not the actual lungs in your chest.”  Rhawn paused
as if he was trying to think of an exact translation.  “I cannot breathe when I
look at you.  You make my heart pound and the air still inside of me.  You are
the very breath in my body.”  He nodded.  “
That
is what I’m trying to
say.”

Lucy
met his gaze, her own eyes filming with tears.  “So it
does
mean ‘I love
you.’”  She said softly.

Rhawn’s
head tilted.  “Yes.  I supposed it does.”

“I
knew
it.”  She leaned over to kiss him.  “I love you, too, caveman.”

Rhawn
chuckled at that.  “I really do love you beyond words, Lucy Meadowcroft.”  He
agreed with a tender smile.  His fingers caressed their growing child and his
mouth brushed against hers.  “You truly are a goddess.”