Once Bitten, Twice Shy (21 page)

I climbed out, dried off, and wrapped the towel around me. The air in the cabin was cool against my damp skin, but I didn’t care. I just wanted a bed and some sleep. I pulled the plug in the tub and took the time to rinse it out. It wasn’t my house and I didn’t want to leave a mess for someone else to clean up.

I took my hair down and used the comb I’d found in one of the drawers. With a sigh, I tightened the towel around me and hoped that I could at least find a man’s shirt or something to sleep in. I left the bathroom and went into the bedroom Lex had shown me. I almost moaned in relief when I saw my suitcase sitting on the bed. I didn’t care how it got there, but I was just glad to have it.

I unzipped it and threw back the lid. All my clothes and toiletries were still inside. I grabbed a shirt I liked to sleep in, a pair of panties, and my deodorant. I put on my underwear, used my deodorant, and yanked the shirt over my head. I grabbed my suitcase and set it on the chair next to the bed.

Still chilled, I pulled the quilts down, settled down into the mattress, and wrapped the blankets over me, doing my best to make myself into a blanket burrito. Without bothering to turn out the lamp, I dropped like a stone into a deep, dreamless sleep.

I was so out of it that Lex came into the room, stripped off his clothes, and stretched out next to me and I never even moved.

As he wrapped his arms around me and tucked me against his side, I also had no idea that I murmured the words, “Love you,” in my sleep.

*     *     *

The next morning,
I woke up surrounded by heat. Arms held me tight and close to a hard, naked chest. Lex’s thigh pinned my legs to the mattress. He was wrapped around me like a boa constrictor. I blinked in the dim light of the bedroom. My cheek was smashed against Lex’s pectoral. I desperately needed the bathroom. I tried to roll over but his arms tightened even further, keeping me in place.

I tried to speak, but all that came out was a croak. I cleared my throat. “Lex,” I rasped, “I need to get up.”

His arms relaxed and I rolled out of bed. When my feet hit the cold boards on the floor, I gasped. Now that I was no longer under the blankets and wrapped up in Lex’s arms, I realized that the room was very chilly.

I dashed to the bathroom, hearing Lex’s quiet chuckle behind me. The toilet seat was ice cold, so I hurried through the entire process. The water that came out of the tap when I washed my hands was even colder.

I ran back into the bedroom and dove under the blankets. My relationship, if you could call it that, with Lex might be over, or at least on its last legs, but I figured he wouldn’t mind me snuggling up to him since he’d been wrapped around me before. I slid across the big bed until I was touching him from shoulder to knee. My feet were freezing from my quick trip to the bathroom, so I stuck them against Lex’s calves. He jumped.

“You’re feet are like ice,” he grumbled, still half asleep, but he cuddled me closer.

Shivering, I tucked my cold nose against his ribs, making him jump again. “Doesn’t this place have heat?” I asked, teeth chattering.

“Only the fireplace in the front room and a gas heater in the bathroom. I forgot to turn it on last night.”

Great. I could have been saved the frostbite on my ass cheeks. I didn’t say anything, though. I figured saving said ass from the bad guys earned Lex a break from nagging for at least five or ten years. Though I probably wouldn’t see much of him unless he was at Conner and Donna’s.

I tilted my head back to look up into his sleepy, sexy face. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

He squeezed me tighter. “I will always come for you,” he answered.

I stared at him in confusion. “But, I thought…” I trailed off as he scowled at me.

“I know what you thought. I felt everything you felt yesterday when you called to me. And that’s not what’s happening between us.”

I bit my lip. “Okay.” I took a deep breath. “I am sorry about, you know, before.”

Lex’s face softened and his hand cupped my cheek. “I’m sorry too, little one. I shouldn’t have left you alone.” He kissed me. “You also need to talk to me about what you’re feeling and thinking. Though I can read your mind, I promised I wouldn’t.”

“You’re right.” I was ashamed of my behavior. I had always been so good at communicating with my boyfriends, but I seemed to have forgotten how with Lex. I put a hand on his chest, holding back a giggle when he flinched from my cold fingers. “So, what is happening with us?” I asked.

Lex buried his fingers in my hair, massaging my scalp gently. “How about you tell me what you want, then I’ll tell you what I want, and, if we need to, we determine a compromise?”

I stared at his gorgeous brown eyes for a moment before I nodded. He smiled slightly and waited. I realized he wanted to have this conversation at this moment. Crap.

“I’m going to be honest, Lex. I’m not sure exactly what I want for us. I do know that I don’t want to jump into anything too quickly, but I also want to see you and spend time with you. I don’t want a life without you.” I paused. “It’s just, to be with you, I feel this unspoken expectation that I’ll have to change
everything
if I want to keep you and I’m not ready to make such an irrevocable commitment.”

Lex watched me, his expression tender. His stroking fingers tugged lightly as he combed them through my hair.

“This is what I want,” he said. Then…nothing.

I waited before I asked, “And?”

He grinned. “This. You and me. Together. Nothing else matters to me.”

My breath backed up in my chest. Holy cow.

He continued to blow my mind. “I know you love me and want to be with me. I also want you to know that I love you and I will take you however I can get you.” He stopped, letting me digest his words. Before I could finish, he went on, his face turning serious. “Will I want to turn you eventually? Yes, but I can give you time, years if I have to. I want you to be ready before we take a step we can’t take back. I know what I want for myself, but I want you to be certain of your feelings before you change your entire future.”

I was seconds away from hyperventilating because my breathing was so fast. “What do you want for yourself?” I asked, unable to stop the question from tumbling out of my mouth.

“To be with you forever.”

Those unabashedly romantic words from such a big, intimidating man made tears fill my eyes.

“How can you know that?” I asked. “We’ve only known each other a few months, and mostly in passing.”

Lex smiled at me again. “I have lived so many lifetimes, little one. I have made mistakes. In that time, I’ve also learned a great deal. Most importantly, I have learned how to recognize what I want. I knew, the first moment I saw you and spoke to you and heard the thoughts that you used to project so loudly, that you were mine.”

While part of me wanted to swoon at his words, the twenty-first century woman raised her eyebrows, “Yours?”

He chuckled. “Yes, you are mine. You belong to me.” He kissed me lightly, even though I was trying to pull away a little. “And I am yours. Everything I am belongs to you.”

I loved hearing that from him. The swoon that threatened at his previous words came back full force. In order to cover how touched I was at his words, I quipped, “Well, I guess it’s okay as long as it goes both ways.”

Lex’s face grew serious. “There are things we need to talk about, Ivie, about what’s going on amongst the vampires. You need to know what we’re facing.”

For the first time, Lex wasn’t excluding me because I was human. He was finally going to tell me what was going on.

“You don’t think that it’s too dangerous to tell me?”

He shook his head. “They came for you even though you knew nothing. I know the way Cornelius works and he would know that we didn’t share information with you. He sent his men anyway.”

The small bloom of hope in my chest withered. Okay, so he still viewed me as weak. Even though he said he loved me and that he would give me time, it still stung.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, little one.”

My eyes jumped back to his. “Nothing. Just wondering what they wanted me for since I would be pretty worthless to them.”

Lex was back to scowling. “Worthless? I don’t believe that’s what you were thinking, though we will be discussing your word choices in a little while. Now, I want you to tell me the truth, and do not forget what I said I would do to you if you lied to me.”

I sighed. While our play had been fun, I was a little afraid to see what Lex would do to me if I pushed him.

“Sometimes, I feel like you see me as weaker, well, less valuable than you because I’m human,” I murmured. “You don’t tell me things and you try to keep me under lock and key. It, um, makes me think that you see me as inadequate.”

His expression was thunderous. “That is not what I’m doing at all. I want to protect you. Your safety is more valuable to me than my own. I withhold information because it will keep you safe.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. Did he seriously believe that bullshit? It hit me then that, for all his smooth, urbane appearance, Lex was a man born almost a thousand years ago. He didn’t think the way a 21
^st
century guy would. In fact, his attitudes were very progressive for a man of his era, but still archaic by modern standards.

I sighed. It looked like I would have to educate him. Something told me that a man alive for nearly a millennia would be more difficult to train than any twenty or thirty-something year old guy I’d dated in the last few years.

“Lex,” I said in order to get his attention. “I’m going to tell you something that will make your life easier when it comes to me.”

His eyebrows lifted but he didn’t say anything.

I took this as an invitation to continue. “I don’t see your silence as protection, Lex. I see it as you not considering me an equal in our relationship. Women of my generation expect equal partnership.”

Lex stared at me for a moment before he threw his head back and laughed. He roared with laughter until I started to get irritated. I poked him in the ribs.

“Hey, I’m being serious. Laughing at me is not the best way to get on my good side.”

He stopped chuckling long enough to kiss me. “I’m sorry, little one. You are very funny. Of course I see you as an equal in our relationship. Why wouldn’t I?”

I pouted a bit. “Well, you are close to a thousand years old. I thought maybe your thoughts on women were a bit antiquated.”

Lex grinned and I could see he was trying not to laugh. “Ivie, in the vampire culture, women are just as dangerous and powerful as men. While the general attitude of most vampires my age is that women do not have as much power as the men, they know better. They may not admit it, but to forget that fact would lead to their death much earlier than they would like.” He grew serious. “Still, you have to understand that I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe, even if it means keeping you in the dark about certain things. I would do the same for Conner or Finn.”

Before I had a chance to argue, he rolled us both out of bed and smacked me playfully on the ass.

“Now, I’m going to get a fire started while you get dressed and make us some coffee.”

As he left the room, I rubbed my ass cheek and decided not to point out how sexist his directive was in case he decided to spank me again.

S
ince Lex had
yanked me out of bed against my will, I considered ignoring his directives and just climbing back into the warm bed. I realized quickly that this was probably not the best idea, so I threw on a pair of comfy plaid pajama pants that I found in my suitcase. I also pulled on a pair of socks to protect my feet from the cold floor. When I went into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, I noticed that Lex had turned on the heater in the bathroom.

After I finished my morning routine, I walked down the hall and heard the merry crackling of a fire. I saw that a pile of firewood had been brought in and sat to the side of the hearth. The front door was slightly ajar and Lex was nowhere in sight. I assumed he was getting more firewood.

I went into the kitchen and started digging around in the cabinets until I found coffee. As I looked around, I realized I had coffee but no coffee maker. I opened several cabinet doors before I gave up.

The front door swung open and I turned to see Lex coming through the door with another stack of firewood in his arms. He kicked the door shut behind him and went to put the wood down by the fireplace.

“Um, Lex?”

“Yes?” He wasn’t looking at me as he threw another small log on the fire.

“Where’s the coffeemaker?”

He glanced up at me then. “What?”

I lifted the canister of coffee and shook it. “I have coffee but no coffeemaker.”

Like any other man I’d ever met, he immediately came into the kitchen and started opening cabinets, searching for the machine. I sighed and set the can down on the counter top. I watched as he did exactly what I had just done. Which meant he opened every door and looked on every shelf.

After a few moments, he pulled out a weird carafe that I recognized as a French press. I hadn’t even noticed it.