Once a SEAL (13 page)

“No, he’s…uh…” Crap! She didn’t know what to say. Was she allowed to mention…anything?

Declan put his hand on her forearm. “Don’t worry. We get it. He’s somewhere important.” He nodded his head. “Looks like a good spread. Do you have extra?”

She didn’t…but they could still make do. How could she turn away Dan’s friends?

His head throbbed. Dan had never been a person that had headaches, yet today he felt as if his skull was going to explode.

“Big Mac, what’s up?” Hammer had been riding his ass since their f’ed-up jump, and Dan wanted nothing more than to smack him upside the brain case and tell him to cool it. Problem was, it would cause more harm than help, so Dan closed his eyes and blocked Hammer.

Leaning against the side of the vehicle, his body moved in rhythm with it until he was lulled asleep.

Aria
was
moving
through
the
house
wearing
a
clown’s nose and those giant red shoes. She was wearing that adorable blue one-piece, the one with the back cut out.

The
day
was
hot
and
she
was
fanning
herself
with
a
piece
of
paper. She turned and saw him. Instead of running into his arms, she held up the paper and said, “You see this. It doesn’t mean anything. I’d used it to dry the dishes, but it doesn’t even do that well. Here, you can have it.”

She
held
it
out
for
him, waiting for him to take it.

Closing
the
distance
between
them, he grabbed the paper and read it. His brow furrowed. “It’s our marriage license. What do you mean it doesn’t mean—?” But he never got to finish his question, as the paper went up in flames. He hurried to the kitchen sink, dropping it in and turning on the water…but he couldn’t save it. The page was reduced to a pile of black ash.

“How could you do that?” he asked.

Aria
turned
her
back
on
him. He could see that beautiful skin, so exposed to his touch, and he wanted to go to her and wrap her in his arms, but anger was pumping through his body.

Looking
over
her
shoulder, she said, “I didn’t do it. You did. I was just a participant. You orchestrated this whole thing, and I was the idiot who went along for the ride.” She walked toward the patio door.

Suddenly
the
whole
house
spun
and
Aria
was
really
at
the
front
door.

“Wait!” he shouted, but the door was open and she was gone. He fell to his knees and everything around him disappeared until it was he alone in the emptiest place he’d ever been.

“Dan, wake up!” JC’s voice pierced Dan’s dream like a balloon popping, and he was instantly awake. JC’s elbow jamming into his ribs just seemed redundant.

“What?!” asked Dan, staring at his Teammate. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to ask, “Where are we?” but he didn’t.

“Come on, we’re on North Island. Let’s go.” JC was standing over him. His pack was strapped on and he was holding Dan’s. “I want to get to the car and check on Jen.”

Dan nodded. He took his pack from JC and they followed the rest of the Team out onto the tarmac. The headache was stronger now, throbbing under his sinuses. Stopping at the trash can next to the Air Terminal, he quickly laid down his pack and then leaned over the opening and threw up.

A couple of guys stopped, but JC waved them ahead. “Give me your keys.”

Dan pointed to the pack. He heard JC rummaging around in there and picking up his pack. Lifting his head, Dan watched him walk away.

A meaty paw on his back told him Hammer was there. “Brother, we have to talk. Back up two feet and sit.”

Doing as requested, Dan sat down in a folding chair positioned in the sun. Hammer handed him something to drink and gave him a couple of white pills. He downed them without question and then propped his elbows. His eyes slammed shut. Fuck, he felt horrible!

“Good,” said Hammer. “Now, we’re going to sit here and have a friendly chat while JC figures out how to turn your alarm system off before it wakes the dead at Rosecrans.”

“What?” Dan hadn’t even realized the alarm was blaring. He started to rise and Hammer stopped him, forcing him back into the chair.

“Today was probably the worst jump day of your life, including when you were just learning. Am I correct?” Hammer’s deep bass voice was like a drum in his ear.

“Yes,” replied Dan. Standing up, he raced for the trash can and threw up.

Hammer got up and stood beside him. “Listen, I don’t know whether you have the flu and that’s why you were positioned above JC when he was about to pull or if you have other shit on your mind, but if I see crap like that again then you’re out of the next Op… So fix the shit! Hit medical or whatever needs doing. Got it?”

Bracing his arms on the edge of the trash can, Dan held himself up. “Yes.” Having finally emptied the entire contents of his stomach, he stood. A wave of dizziness lightened his head, and then the headache slammed back into place over his temples and at the back of his skull. He didn’t blame Hammer; as AOIC, or Assistant Officer in Charge of the Platoon, he helped run the platoon and was responsible for issues that arose. Dan’s instincts would force him to do the same thing in Hammer’s position. Teammates had to be at a one hundred percent or they couldn’t do what needed to be done effectively.

A door opened in front of him, and Dan slid into the passenger’s seat.

“You look like hell, my friend,” said JC. “What did Hammer want?”

“Just riding my balls, you know how it is.” Dan grumbled.

“Want me to drop you off at home? I can pick you up in the morning or drop your car off or whatever?” JC seemed anxious to get home.

“Drop me at the base. I want a shower before I see Aria.” Dan took in shallow breaths. Christ, he didn’t want to throw up again. “Jen okay?”

“Yeah, she had some false labor. It’s going to happen anytime now.” JC drove the car through the base, taking a shortcut and heading out a less-traveled gate. Dan looked at the ocean. It was like glass. He longed to swim and float. But it would be cold, and there would be more questions from JC and any other bud he saw than time to relax.

Seeing the Del brought back a whole mass of memories with Aria. His head was close to breaking open. Buildings zipped by and soon enough they were at the Amphib Base. They went through the gate and JC stopped in front of the Platoon Building.

A few vehicles were parked out front, meaning a couple of the guys would be inside. Thank god Hammer wasn’t anywhere to be found. He didn’t want to have to deal with another confrontation.

“Do you want some company? I could call Jen.” JC’s message was clear. He was concerned about Dan and at the same time eager to be with his wife.

Dan shook his head. “What? With a stinkpot like you! I’ve smelled your feet when those boots come off.” Withdrawing his pack from the trunk of the car, Dan hefted it onto his back. “Nah, get out of here. Keep the car until I call you.”

As he watched JC drive off, he thought,
Perhaps
someday
I’ll learn to do it like you do
. JC and Jen had a rocking chemistry and an easy way of being together. Whenever they hit a speed bump, they’d laugh or hug their way through and enjoy being out the other side.

“I want that,” he murmured. If he was honest with himself, that’s why he’d gotten married.

Dan walked to the building and keyed in the code. Climbing the stairs felt as if it were taking a million years. When he reached the floor for the cages, the door was propped open and he went inside. A couple of guys were walking out, and they gave him shit about losing his cookies.

The door slammed shut behind them, locking into place. He laid his gear in front of his spot and then stripped his clothes off. Heading to the shower, he kept telling himself he’d be fine.

The tile was cold beneath his feet. He hit the spray and heat pummeled his body. Slowly his muscles began to relax. Filling his hand with liquid soap, he rubbed it over his head and body, washing away the crappy, frustrating day.

***

Showered, shaved, teeth brushed, and wearing clean clothes, Dan felt better. He’d found a couple of Propels and some vitamins in his locker, and the potassium was helping his body as well as giving him some hydration. Adding in a dark-chocolate granola bar, he was starting to feel human. Grabbing his keys and cell phone, he closed the locker, made sure all of his gear was stowed properly, and then turned to leave.

Stopping at the mirror, he stared at himself. “You’ve got it pretty good, Dan, my man.”

He walked out the door and down the stairs. As he was leaving the building, the cold marine layer bathed his skin with tiny drops of salty mist. Stars were attempting to shine through the cloudy wet layer, and he could see one now and then, but for the most part…it was just him and the darkness.

His phone suddenly vibrated with messages he’d missed during the day. He withdrew it from his pocket and looked at it. Playing the messages from Aria first, he watched the videos of Mark and Jimmy and his wife. There were several. Then he read the messages from Declan and Harvey asking who Big Bird—ah, they remembered Mark from the wedding—was and why he was
so
friendly with Aria.

Dan’s gut clenched. He refused to get sick again. He was feeling better, he told himself.

Quickly he answered his buddies, telling them all was well. Mark was just a friend.

They sent a few snide comments back.

In Dan’s opinion, it was in his own best interest to ignore them, but there was a seed of doubt there. Several seeds, if he was honest. Was there a man alive who could be friends with a woman without wanting to have sex with her? Unless, of course, the man was dead! The way Mark looked at Aria, it was obvious that Mark Anders was a living, breathing man and his wife was completely unaware of her effect on him.

Night had fallen. It had been a long day, and Aria was pleasantly exhausted. The tea had been a real eye-opener, and she was happy that she’d gone. She looked forward to getting to know the SEAL wives better. They were different than she’d thought they’d be—funny, relaxed, and very human. There’d been no one-upmanship or cattiness. Instead they felt more like…sisters, or what Aria thought sisters should be like.

One of the stories had astounded her…about a house flooding and the husband being deployed and having three kids under five to keep track of while the wife called the plumber and simultaneously strapped them into a car with a movie to watch and then tried to stop the waterfall coming from her bathroom. These women were remarkable…ingenious. Could she do it, too? Be that on the ball and capable?

Yes, she told herself. Hadn’t she raised her brother and helped her stoic uncle as well as gotten herself through school with practically straight As?

Of course, the news that had been toughest to deal with was the Haussey death. Nothing could prepare her for it, she knew it, but she didn’t want to lose Dan. Making dinner for him, spending time together… It was the best she could do to tell him stay alive, stay safe, and come home to me—always.

She sliced a cucumber so that the pieces were extra thin, almost see-through, and then she arranged them on the plate next to the baby carrots, sugar-pea pods, broccoli, and the big bowl of full-fat ranch dressing for the dip.

Checking the clock, she realized it was time to turn off the roasted chicken with homemade corn-bread stuffing and the ears of roasted yellow corn. She knew it was Dan’s favorite. It had stretched their food budget a little, but it was worth it.

Breathing in the scent of a home-cooked meal, Aria knew Dan would appreciate it. Things had been a little rocky lately, and she wanted to soothe the sore spots. She missed the calm way they interacted. Where had that gone?

The sound of his key in the lock brought a smile to her face. She walked to the door, feeling the swish of her silk robe against her legs with every step. She hoped he’d like the green silk panty-and-bra set.

The door opened and she beamed at him. She began to move toward him and then froze.

“Aria.” The way he said her name was as if he was suspicious, or worse, angry.

“Dan. Welcome home.” She smiled, smoothing her wild hair away from her face, trying to figure out what was going on. Had she done something? Her mind ran through a list of activities, and she couldn’t imagine a single one that would give him pause. On the contrary, he should be proud of her for getting to know some of his Teammates’ wives.

Hanging his jacket on the knob of the front door, he said, “I got your texts. Interesting movies.”

Aria turned back toward the kitchen. She wanted to check that dinner wasn’t going to burn. “It was great, wasn’t it? We had the best afternoon. A couple of your friends joined us for lunch, too. Declan and Harvey.”

“Yeah,” he said, his tone flat and cold. “I got a couple of texts from them.”

She turned to look at him. Dan seemed off, and she didn’t like it.

He spoke again. “So Mark is spending a lot of time with you…”

What was this…was Dan jealous? If he was, should she soothe him or kick his ass for being such a numbskull? “No. Not really. I mean I invited him to spend the afternoon with Jimmy and me. As a matter of fact, Jimmy is staying at Mark’s apartment. You know…for a guy’s night.” Her husband was seriously bursting her bubble. Didn’t he notice the home-cooked meal, the sexy nighty, et cetera? She had been happy before he arrived.

Dan crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “He didn’t need to do that. We’re a family. We can make it work.”

Aria frowned at him. “I know that. I just wanted us to have a little ‘alone’ time.”

“Roger that.” He pushed off from the wall and came toward her. “What’s all this?”

She looked behind her at the candles and the lovely display of veggies. “I wanted to arrange a treat. A memory.”

“Why? What did you do?”

Her formerly pleasant mood melted into a pool of anger. “You think I did this because I’ve been up to something?” She poked her index finger into his chest like a spear. “You better take that back this instant, Dan McCullum, before I really get angry.”

His eyes raced over her face and body. Finally, he brought them back to her own. “It’s nice. I like it. Thanks.”

“Oh, ho, you are in for a whole lot of trouble, Dan, if you don’t take back that crap you’re giving me and apologize. Think carefully, my friend.” She poked him again, harder.

“Maybe I’m angry, too. I’m not thrilled with your best friend being a man who wants to fuck you.”

She sucked in air between her teeth. “Take that back.”

“No, it’s true. If you’d open your eyes, you’d see it. Aria, can you put your own feelings aside sometimes and look at the world from his perspective? He’s waiting for you to see him as your lover. And if that day ever happens, we’re through.” His words were like a knife.

“Damn it, Dan, how could you ever make such accusations?” She was seriously pissed at him. Her hands were balled into fists.

He seemed to notice them. He put his hands in front of her, palms up. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I didn’t think before I spoke. I’m not mad at you.”

Her temper was already flaring. She always had a hard time getting it to back down. “Today I attended a tea full of SEAL wives, and I did it for you, you jerk!” She tossed a punch in his direction and he caught it. He held it tightly in his fist and then he kissed it.

“Don’t you be nice to me after coming in here all jealous and angry!”

His arms came around her. “I wasn’t thinking. I had a bad day and took it out on you. I’m sorry, Aria.”

“It was amazing.” Her breath came out in short huffs. “Those ladies…their stories made me laugh and some of them broke my heart.” Tears suddenly filled her eyes and frustration choked her throat. She spoke through the well of feelings. “Ripped a piece of me, when I learned that Kelt Haussey died suddenly, and I don’t even know them!” She couldn’t stop herself from weeping, from letting all the strain of the past few days out. Getting married, her uncle’s death, becoming a full-time mom, and figuring out a way to talk to her damned husband—it poured from her spirit until she was shaking and hiccupping.

“Shit! Haussey… Damn, that fucking hurts!” He cuddled her closer. “I’m such a bastard. Aria, I’m sorry.”

She sniffed. “You can’t do that. Come in here and lay all your stress on me. I spent a lot of time to make something special for you—for us—and you’re acting like a jerk.” Her nails dug into his shoulder. “I hate you sometimes. But I love you, too.”

“I know. I’m a jerk.”

“Yes, you are.” She rubbed her face on his shirt. “Don’t die, okay?” She felt her lower lip tremble.

“I won’t. I’m here. Please, don’t let…this fuckup spoil everything. Let’s just start this night over. Deal?” He seemed so earnest, so wishful. “Come on, I really appreciate this beautiful meal and I want to share it with you.”

She nodded, hoping the do-over was better. Because right now she just felt hurt and sad that he ever doubted her fidelity.

He leaned down and kissed her. He was tender at first, but soon turned intense—as if he couldn’t get enough. After a few minutes she was practically ready to forget dinner and jump his bones right on their new dining room table. She melted into his embrace. God, he felt good.

“How’s that for starting anew?” he asked softly.

“It’s a beginning,” she said. It wasn’t hard to admit that she wanted him and was willing. She needed that rock-solid unity that happened when they made love. It made the whole world disappear…made her feel safe and loved. “Dan, I missed you.”

Dan seemed reluctant as he said, “Me, too. I’ve…been dreaming about you.” His finger touched her chin. “It’s hard…to miss you.”

The emotion behind his words set a match to her already-heated body. She arched into his touch as his hands moved over her, peeled back the robe, and explored the sexy underwear set.

“There’s food,” she murmured, even though she wasn’t hungry. He’d been losing weight from all of the training and Ops, and she knew he needed to fuel. And selfishly she wanted him to have a lot of energy tonight.

“I can do both,” he said, picking her up and depositing her on the kitchen counter. “I guess I should eat my veggies first…” Stripping off her bra and panties, he picked up a carrot, dipped it in dressing, and swirled it around her nipples. They hardened immediately from the cold. He ate the carrot and then lowered his head, lapping at the taut nub until she was moving into his touch.

He reached for the vegetables, popping several sugar-pea pods into his mouth and then grabbing a cucumber. That he used for a scoop to frost the other nipple.

“Dan,” she sighed as he began his ministrations on her other breast. His heart was racing and he could tell she was on the verge of coming…if only she’d…

“Keep going.”

His fingers trailed down her stomach, sliding between her legs and finding her clit, and drew small circles in the same direction his tongue was going.

“Yes,” she cried as he pushed her over the edge. Her body convulsed and he could feel the wetness between her legs.

This time he reached for a piece of broccoli, using it to mark her body with patterned strokes all the way to her womanhood. He ate the broccoli and then licked his way down her stomach and up her thighs.

“More!” she cried. His face was buried between her legs now, and his tongue was praising her in ways that made it impossible to issue any sound from her throat other than soft grunts.

He could feel her body climbing, rushing toward the sheer precipice until she reached the end and tumbled in a free-fall decent, crashing toward the ground. “You’re safe. Come for me, Aria. Come. For. Me.”

And she did, crying out, “Dan. Yes! I love you!”

He held her while her body shook. Willing his warmth to heat her gleaming skin, wet from effort, she clung to him. Aria was his safety, his home, and his peace. Whatever made him doubt their relationship or her? The life they had together was more important than he could put into words. Only she made him this satisfied, and her love could make him feel as if his life were ending and beginning—all at the same time.

***

Curled up in front of the fake fireplace with its crackling sound, she fed him chicken one piece at a time. The couch was very soft, and she had to lean forward, exposing her cleavage to him, as she placed each morsel in his mouth. Every time he wrapped his lips around her fingers, wiping them clean, she shivered.

“Where did you get the fireplace?” asked Dan, whose eyes were at half-mast. He had already stifled two yawns.

She placed a piece of chicken in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “When I dropped Jimmy off, I was detoured down a road I had never been on…and there was this little second-hand shop with this baby in the window. I remembered the stories you told me about your grandfather, and I thought you would get a kick out of it.”

“It’s cool. Thanks.” He leaned down and kissed her. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“I’ll let you know when you’re finished earning the credits toward that goal,” she said against his lips.

Dan laughed. “My, my, we are cocky tonight.”

“Just aware of my worth,” she said with grin as she picked up the chicken and napkins and took them back to the kitchen.

“Do you need any help?” He stretched his arms over his head.

“No. I’m putting everything in the refrigerator and then taking you to bed.” She made quick work of the mess in the kitchen, putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, covering the food and stowing it away, and then wiping the counters. She washed her hands and dried them on the pretty hand towel with tiny houses on it and a message that read, Believe. It had been a housewarming gift from Hannah, stuffed in with the food from her first visit. Aria wasn’t certain what she was supposed to believe in…but she knew she’d get there eventually.

Aria walked around the couch, and she couldn’t resist teasing her fingers over Dan’s taut stomach and chest. He could have been used as a poster boy for fitness. She loved touching him, being caressed by him, and most of all…being wrapped safely in his arms.

Placing her lips on his forehead, she kissed him. “Hey, you feel hot. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He pulled out of her embrace and got off the couch. Dan took her hand and led her to the bedroom. “I got sick earlier, but I’m fine now.”

She tugged him to a halt. “I don’t think so.” Cupping his cheeks with her palms, she gauged his temperature. “Wait here.”

It was only a few feet to the bathroom. She flipped on the light and rummaged around in a drawer. “Here it is,” she said.

“What?” he asked from the doorway. “If that’s a rectal thermometer, you can forget it.”

“Ha, ha. It’s oral. Now open wide.” She shook it out, checked to make sure it was at a low point, and then slid it under his tongue. “Close your mouth.”

“Mmph pleasure.”

“Don’t talk,” she ordered, shaking her finger at him.

He put both hands up before him and then sighed.

Taking his hand, she led him into the bedroom, flipped on a light, and sat him down on the air mattress. He bounced on it gently and gave her a stern look.

Aria stared right back at him. “Don’t give me that look. The mattress company canceled today and is coming tomorrow.”

Checking the time on his watch, she pulled the thermometer out. “Dan, it reads 103. That’s pretty high. How about if you take a cold shower or some Tylenol?”

“Took some aspirin already.” He lay down and stretched his body out in the center of the bed. “I’m fine, Aria. Let’s just go to sleep.” His eyes were already closed, and she could see worry lines around his mouth and eyes. She stood there watching him as he dropped off to sleep.

Going back into the bathroom, she wiped off the thermometer with some alcohol, put it back in its holder, and stuck it in the drawer. She rinsed her hands, brushed her teeth, and rubbed a soft warm washcloth over her face. Snapping off the light, she went back into the bedroom and found him huddled in a ball in the center of the bed.