On the Road: (Vagabonds Book 2) (New Adult Rock Star Romance) (12 page)

“Crazy on You” - Heart

Chapter Nineteen

I CAN’T REMEMBER making it through that show.  I was angry and hurt through the whole thing, but I do know that, by the time we were done, my fingers were raw.  I’d played hard.

It was somewhere in Texas, and it had been warm.  We’d had a huge audience and they were one of the most enthusiastic we’d ever had.  I was upset that I hadn’t been able to enjoy them, but my emotions were blinding me to everything.

When we finally got in the van so we could head back to the hotel, I allowed my eyes to get a little watery.  But then I pulled my phone out of my jacket.  I hadn’t had much opportunity to really look at the picture of CJ and the other girl, because Peter had come in the room right after and told us to get our asses in place.

Now, though, I had a chance to search.  I wasn’t going to ask one of those bitches exactly where they’d seen it.  I didn’t want them to know just how badly this had ripped me up on the inside.  They weren’t going to get the satisfaction.

I decided to start with what made the most sense.  I went to the Death Crunch Facebook page…and, sure enough, the top post was CJ and that skanky whore.  Well, I didn’t actually know if she was a skanky whore.  All I knew was my future man’s hand was on her back.

Fucker.

I read a little bit of the post: 
Check out our man Siege with Pepper J of Cinnamon Stick getting cozy!

Shit.  I’d heard of the band Cinnamon Stick—they were some newcomers, much like Death Crunch and my band—but they were hip hop, not rock or metal.

Okay, so fine.  He was with someone else.  But fuck.  Did they have to advertise it all over the place?

Fucker!

My eyes more than welled with tears.  I supposed she was closer to his age too…someone he’d have no qualms about sleeping with.

Fucking asshole.

I pulled up my messages and tapped on his name.  I wanted to let him know that I knew, but no way did I want to appear to be desperate or needy.  No fucking way.  I took a deep breath.  God, I needed a drink.

And then I had it.  I began tapping on the virtual keyboard on my phone. 
I’m not waiting for YOU.

Simple.  Sweet.  And I tucked my phone in my pocket, trying to figure out how I was going to deal with this shit tonight.  It was too goddamned raw right now.  I turned my face to look out the window at the dark streets wet from the rain and tried to ignore the vibration in my pocket.

* * *

Once I was in my room, the one I shared with Barbie this time (yeah, I was the lucky one this stop), I pulled out the bottle of spiced rum I’d thrown in my suitcase.  I’d been saving it for a special occasion.  Feeling like someone had stuck a hot poker in my chest just to yank out my heart was special enough.

I chased each swig with a beer.  Once the beer was gone, I sat on the bed and stewed.  Barbie kept yammering about something or other, but I was tuning her out.  I couldn’t deal with her fucking shit tonight.  She was on her Facebook page, talking nasty with all her male followers.

Yeah, I really couldn’t deal with this shit.

I threw my jacket on and headed for the door.  “Kyle, you’re missing the best part.  They want me to do a sexy dance and post it on my page!”

“Have fun with that.”  Peter calling us
slutty whores
flashed in my mind at that moment, as though that was what he’d always wanted us to become.

And I needed to.  I needed to be bad.  Fuck CJ Slavin.

No, I had
wanted
to fuck him, but he’d just lost his chance.  As I walked down the hall, I muttered, “Wait for me, my ass.”

And then it dawned on me.  At first, I thought I could fuck Andrew.  He was easy…and then I could text CJ and tell him.  Maybe.

Oh, but not Andrew.  He was truly gross, especially now that he’d lost weight.

I thought of the only other guys I was in close proximity with day in, day out.  No, not Peter.  That man was a sick, twisted fuck.  I couldn’t imagine the guy ever getting laid and, if he did, I wondered if he liked women.  The man was so damned hard to read.

No…there were our roadies, TT and Bad Dog.  TT—nah.  That guy did nothing for me.  Bad Dog, though…his dark hair had been growing out from the spikes he’d started with, and he still had that soul patch he’d bite down on when he was lost in thought.  He had tattoos, too, and that was enough to get me hot just thinking about it.

Bad Dog it was.

I tried to remember what room they were in but my fucking brain was too goddamned fuzzy.  And hurting.  I pulled out my phone.  Shit.  Yes, there were three text notifications from CJ.  I swiped my phone, because nothing he could say would matter or would change my mind.

I pulled up texts, again ignoring CJ’s name and text at the top of the list, and swiped down till I saw Bad Dog.  I realized then that I’d never had a text message with him by himself, though.  Those were all group messages.  So I closed it and pulled up my contacts, touching his moniker.  It made me wonder what his name really was, but now wasn’t the time.  I tapped the message icon and had a fresh new message window—just him and me. 
Hey, BD, what room are you guys in again?

I stuck my arm out and splayed my hand against the wall as a wave of dizziness washed over me.  Man, I was fucked up.  Too much to drink, too damn fast.

Part of me thought I should just go back to my room and go to bed to sleep it off, but before that thought could lock and load, my phone vibrated and I looked at it.  It was Bad Dog. 
407, pretty lady.  Y?

Oh. 
Pretty lady?
  Hmm.  Did he know
why
I planned on tracking his ass down?

Coming to see you, Bad.

Oh, God, please let him be truly bad—not like “good boy” CJ who refused to sleep with me and instead chose to fuck someone else so he could wait.

I had to get that poison out of my head.  No guy would want to have sex with me if I was a weeping willow.  I looked at the door across from me.  451.  Yeah, I’d forgotten we were all on the same floor this time.  I sucked down a deep breath and began the wobbly walk farther down the hall, but when I looked at the next door, it said 453.  I was going the wrong way. 
Buzz.
  I looked down at my phone again while turning around—a bad idea in my state.  So I touched the wall once more before looking down.

Bad?  You want to tell me something, Tiger?

Tiger?
  That was a name Peter supposedly called me behind my back before we went out on the road, but I’d never heard him say it to my face.  Having Bad Dog call me that, though, made me wonder again if it was true and, if so, why.

But that thought was out of my head as I walked the other way, watching the numbers decrease foot by foot. 
Oh, there’s
my
room
, I thought, starting to giggle my ass off.  And two doors down on the other side of the hall was 407.

So, by the time I was knocking on the door, I was laughing my ass off.  Drunken laughing, but clearly having a good time.

People were sleeping?  I gave
zero
shits.

But Bad Dog did.  He opened the door and grabbed my wrist, pulling me in.  “Kyle, what the hell?  Peter’ll skin you alive if your loud mouth gets us kicked out of this motel.”

I felt my pupils grow large—yeah, I fucking
felt
them—as the blood rushed through my body, and I pulled Bad Dog by the collar into my face, planting a huge kiss on him.

He responded.

But then his hands were on my shoulders, holding me back.  “Kyle, have you been drinking?”

I laughed again.  “Is Metallica the most popular metal band in the fucking world?  Hell, yes, I’ve been drinking.”

“Maybe I need to tuck you in.”

He was clearly uncomfortable.  That told me I needed to ratchet it down several notches.  If he thought I was just some dumb drunk bitch, he’d blow me off.

So I took a deep breath and smoothed out his t-shirt with the same hand that had been gripping it.  “I’d like that very much.”

He nodded.  “Okay.”  He turned his head.  “Be right back, TT.”  Oh, shit.  I’d forgotten about his roomie. 
Shit!
  Maybe this had been a bad idea after all.

But when we got out into the hall, I knew I was horny as hell and I needed a revenge fuck so bad I could taste it.  “Which room’s yours, sweet thing?”

I pointed to my door, acting coy and cute, and he laughed.  “But you have to kiss me good night.”

He chuckled, not acting as uneasy as he had before.  “What’s gotten into you tonight, Kyle?  You doin’ some new weird drug with your buddy?”

“Fuck no.  I don’t do drugs.  Well, I don’t do them a lot.  I’ve had a little to drink…by myself.”

“That explains it.”

We got to my door and he just stood there.  “Where’s my good night kiss, BD?  You promised.”

He laughed again.  “You’re drunk, Kyle.”

“I am
not
drunk.”  Okay, so, yeah, I was.  I totally was…and my voice was loud again.  That came with the drunkenness.  I pulled on his shirt collar again and he didn’t resist.  “I want to fuck you so hard.”

His eyes grew wide then.  “What did you just say?”

“I
said
I want you to fuck me.”

TT walked out their door then and so I let go of Bad Dog’s collar.  I didn’t need this shit flying around the whole band, especially if he spurned me, and that was the feeling I was getting.  TT said, “Goin’ to have a smoke.”  Aw.  That might have done my heart good, knowing he was obeying the hotel rules, but I didn’t give a shit then.

Dog said, “Have two, wouldja?”

TT raised his eyebrows and I saw a slight nod of Dog’s head before he kissed me like I’d begged…and then he led me back to his room.

“One Out of Ten” ~ Sister Sin

Chapter Twenty

HOLY SHIT.  I think I could say this was the first
real
adult sex I’d had where I felt like I was on equal footing.  Fucking Eddie last fall was awesome and amazing, but he’d felt like a parental figure.  Dog might have been an older guy too, but he didn’t intimidate me or make me feel weird.

And I hoped to God he could make me feel like a woman.

Once in the room, I pulled my jacket off and dropped it to the floor, and Dog slammed me into the door.  I was almost winded, but I could take it.  His cock was grinding into my lower belly, assuring me that there would be no bullshit
let’s-wait-till-you’re-older
backing down speech.

Nope. He was in—all the fucking way.

Even all those times with Decker where I’d felt desperate and eager, I’d never begun fucking in such a frenetic way.  My desperation showed in spite of how the alcohol had slowed me down.  So my hands went straight to the bottom of his t-shirt and I pulled it over his head.  Shit.  I’d had no idea how tight and solid Dog was, because I’d never seen him with his shirt off before, but my hands roamed about his chest and ab area, and I was not disappointed.  He was in shape, unlike his cohort TT (although even that guy was beginning to shape up a little, thanks to hauling all our shit around).

If I’d actually given it much thought, I would have freaked out.  I was fucking a guy I shouldn’t be touching.  What was that saying? 
Don’t shit where you fuck?
  No. 
Don’t eat where you fuck?
  No…got it. 
Don’t shit where you eat.
  Oops.  Too late.

And the way he bit at my neck pulled me back to the moment.  My body tensed up, ready to be ravished by what promised to be his hard love.  I pulled on his hair as I bared my neck for him and then I felt his hands on my hips, pulling up on my shirt.  Oh, hell.  I could help with that, no matter how light I was feeling.  I yanked it over my head and slammed my lips back into his.  Our tongues clashed and my teeth scraped against his, but they felt so damn numb, it didn’t bother me.  I scratched down his back and he bit my lip.

Holy shit.  This was fucking
fun
.

When his tongue lashed out at my neck again, I was moaning out loud as my toes curled in my boots.  I ran my right hand up his back again and wound it into his hair.  “Oh, God, fuck me.”

My muscles tensed again, eager for his touch in other places, and I thought maybe I’d speed up the proceedings, sliding my fingers around to his front again, tracing the thin line of hair from his navel to the waistband of his jeans.  “Mmm-mm.  Not yet.”  His hands cupped my breasts and I moaned again as he thumbed my nipples through the lacy fabric of my black bra but then his fingers traced their way down invisible lines toward my jeans.  “You sure you’re ready?”

“You kidding?  I was born ready.”

He chuckled, unbuttoning my jeans.  I breathed, “Yeah.  There…”  Eddie would have been proud.  Dog drew a line with his tongue up my neck again and nipped my chin before colliding with my mouth once more.  Jesus, I was on the verge of coming, and I didn’t know if it was because I was so wasted or because his lovemaking technique was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before.  I didn’t know what to expect and it set me on the edge.

Dog was nothing if not obedient, and his fingers were in my panties in seconds.  “Oh, yeah,” I breathed against his mouth.  If he was going to move there, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on his kisses anymore.  My nails curled into his back again as his index finger slid down my slit.

“Christ.  I guess you’re ready.”  He withdrew his hand to pull my jeans down farther.

“Oh, God, don’t stop.”

I barely saw the look he gave me through the slits I’d made with my eyes.  I could already feel my muscles undulating, begging for the release he could give me.  His face looked almost too serious, but he did as I’d pled, moving his finger back to my throbbing clit.  I groaned again, feeling my leg muscles respond, and I heard an amused breath of air escape his mouth, but he applied the pressure and sensation I needed, and it was less than two minutes before I felt my brain explode and collapse.  Orgasm, the greatest drug I’d ever known, was rocking my world, and it lasted longer than I was used to.

But that didn’t stop me from begging for more.  “Now stick it to me.”

He laughed again but he got serious, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket and yanking out a condom.  That was one thing about roadies—they had sex as much as we did, thanks to life on the road, and so they had to be prepared.

“Hurry up,” I begged.  My thighs were clenching against themselves, aching for a second round.

“Chill, woman.  You’d kill me if I stuck my cock in unsheathed.”

It was my turn to laugh.  God, we were a cliché, but I wasn’t giggling once he entered me.  I couldn’t help how vocal I was once more, and I wrapped a leg around his, because it somehow helped me feel like I was helping him pound me harder.

My crazy orgasm lasted until he climaxed too, completely spent.  He rested his head against the door and we stood there in each other’s arms, breathing like we’d just run around the block as fast as we could.  I lay my head against his shoulder as I caught my breath, and then I slapped him on his bare ass.  “Let’s do that again.”

He pulled his head back to look at me.  “You’re kidding, right?”

I giggled then.  “Yeah.”

And then he was tender, something I never in a million years would have expected from a guy who went by the name Bad Dog.  His lips touched mine, giving me a kiss so soft, so sweet, and so gentle, and I actually kissed him back.  He ran a finger along my cheek and then pulled out, and I let out a small cry.  I didn’t realize I was still sensitive, still on the verge…but I didn’t want a third orgasm.  I was already drained and half sober…and ready to collapse.

* * *

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I woke up in his bed.  TT was sleeping in the other bed, and Dog’s arm was draped over my torso and we were like two spoons in a drawer, him holding me close, my back nestled up against his body.

Oh, my fucking God.
  Awkward.

I wanted to get back to my room, but I knew there was a good chance he’d wake up with any movement I made.

I tried lifting his arm off me and it made him mutter in his sleep and pull me closer. 
Shit.
  There wasn’t going to be any easy way to do this.  I swallowed and pulled up on his arm again, more firmly this time.  Then he brought his lips to my ear.  “You can stay here tonight.  I’ll make sure you’re up in time.”

I let the air out of my lungs through my nose.  Fortunately, our sex had been so damned vigorous, I’d burned off any excess alcohol that would have ensured a hangover.  I kept my voice to a whisper.  I didn’t want to wake TT up too.  “No.  I need to get back.”

“Why?”  He ground himself into my ass, but he was only semi-rigid and I wasn’t in the mood anyway.  “We could have more fun all night long.”

I shook my head.  “I think I’ve had all the fun I can stand.”

“Too much to drink?”

“No, that’s not it.”  Nope.  Too much here to regret.  Don’t get me wrong—he was fucking amazing in bed, but I knew in retrospect that I shouldn’t have fucked him.  I would have been better off fucking one of Vicki’s desperate junkies, because now my life on the road was going to be strained.

And it wasn’t just because we’d fucked.

No…for some reason, he’d gotten the idea that I was now his, and I could feel that coming off him in waves.  I didn’t know a nice way to tell him this had been a one-night stand.  Actually, no.  It had been less than that.  It was a merge of convenience—a way to help me forget and drown my pain before facing reality again, as well as the twin benefit of forgetting the guy I really wanted.

But that was a problem too.  Dog’s rough sex had helped me push it out of my brain for the few minutes we were intertwined, but as soon as we were two people again, my mind wandered back to CJ.  Goddamn that guy.  He had my heart even more than he owned my loins, and Dog hadn’t stood a chance from the get go.

I managed to sit up in spite of Dog’s intentions.  I was still in bra and panties, so I’d just have to find the rest of my clothes.  The bathroom light was on, casting a soft glow across the room, reflected in the mirror over the unused dresser that I knew the men hadn’t filled, because we’d just be back on the road again tomorrow.

He sat up, the sheet falling off his torso but still covering his second half.  Damn, the guy was cut and solid, something I hadn’t noticed before, and he had some nice tats too…but he was no CJ.

No one could ever replace CJ…which meant that, while the sex was a distraction, it couldn’t keep my mind occupied for long enough to distance me from the pain.

“So what is it, then?”

Still, I couldn’t be like Barbie.  Barbie would flat out tell him she’d just fucked him because she could and then follow it up with some mean, nasty insult, but I couldn’t.  So I told him half a truth.  “I can’t sleep unless I’m by myself.”  It had always been difficult for me to sleep with Decker in my bed and I’d never had reason to try to get used to it with him or anyone else.  Besides, if I was gone all night, I’d never hear the end of it from Barbie.

I could only hope she’d finally gone to sleep.  I leaned over to pick up my clothes so I could sit on the bed and put them on, and that was when I got that slight headache and wave of dizziness.  Yeah, I guessed the alcohol wasn’t completely out of my system yet.  I sat on the end of the bed to zip my jeans and slide my socks on, and I felt his hands on my shoulders as his lips grazed my neck.  Oh, come on, dude.  Don’t make me be a bitch.

I threw my t-shirt over my head and he had to move back.  So I was a
bit
of a bitch but maybe he’d get the clue without me having to be overly snotty.  I leaned over and pulled my boots on, lacing them up as much as needed so I could walk the few steps across the hall to my own damn bed.

“Fair enough.”  He stood and I was afraid to turn around for two reasons.  One was if he was naked, that would only add to the awkwardness of the moment.  And, two, it was going to be hard enough to make a graceful exit.

Fortunately, he was wearing shorts.  And also TT was still asleep.  I wasn’t sure what to say so I figured I might as well be as honest and grateful.  “Um…thanks for spending time with me tonight.  I, uh…enjoyed myself.”

“Yeah, babe.  Anytime.” 
Oh.
  He called me that too, the name I liked for CJ to call me.  When Dog called me that, though…it felt wrong.  I should have seen it coming, but I wasn’t prepared for him to kiss me again—passionate and sweet.  Jesus.

I patted him on the chest as I heard a riff blaze through my mind—a song coming to me.  That was weird.  That had never happened to me before.  “Night,” I said, hoping he’d get the hint and let me leave.

He seemed willing to let me go but he had one more thing to say.  “Just so you know…my real name’s Simon.”

I nodded, not sure what he wanted me to do with the info, so I just smiled and said, “So you have a stage name too.”

He tilted his head.  “I
knew
Kyle was fake.”

I forced myself to contain the sigh I wanted to let out.  “No, Kyle’s not fake.  Liz changed her name so it’s not obvious who she is.”

“Oh, yeah.”  While the opportunity presented itself, I pushed against him so I could turn around in the tight space and open the door.  “See you in the morning.”

Yeah.  Definitely fucking awkward.