On the Plus Side (24 page)

I giggled.

“Devin, I’m fine. Go help Dad and just come and see me when you can.”

“I love you.” He leaned down and gave me another kiss.

“I love you, too.”

I watched him walk out of the room. I took a long, hot shower and then spent the rest of the night in bed watching TV. Shannon popped her head in occasionally to check on me. After the fifth time, she admitted to me that Devin had been calling her almost every hour to make sure I was OK. I smiled. The terrible beating and hospital stay aside, I’d never been so happy in my entire life.

Twenty-Three

Honesty’s Best Policy

I stayed up most of the night in the garage trying to catch up. We were so behind on everything, not that it was anyone’s fault but my own. I should’ve never taken off to Florida. If I had been there instead of running away like a punk, Jenny would’ve called me and the turn-out of this situation would’ve been a hell of a lot different. My sister wouldn’t have been hurt and Lilly wouldn’t have been practically beaten to death.

I owe her so much. She almost gave her life for my baby sister and I was determined to tell her the truth. Damn the money, damn the she-devil, damn it all! I wanted to be honest with Lilly and start over. Plain and simply put, I want Lilly completely.

I called Shannon constantly to check on Lilly, she was beginning to get aggravated with me. Being away from her when she needed me the most just felt wrong, but I had to work. Dad would never be able to do all of it on his own. 

I worked all night long and ended up falling asleep on the old couch in the garage. I had a rough night’s sleep and was awoken by Jenny who was digging through the paperwork on the old, ratty desk where we kept all the garage bills and stuff. I watched from afar as she figured out everything on her own. All the letters about the bank foreclosing on our property were right on top. I heard her gasp.

“Jenny, get out of those papers,” I said sleepily. “That’s not your concern.”

“The hell it’s not! Why didn’t y’all tell me about this?” She held up a bank paper. “I should know if we’re about to lose everything! All I could think about was a stupid fucking dance and you and dad were stressing over bills!” She swiped at angry tears with the back of her arm.

I jumped off of the couch and went to her.

“Jenny, you’re just a kid, sweetie. We didn’t want you to worry about it and you shouldn’t have to worry about it. I’ll take care of it,” I soothed her.

“But, Dev, we’re gonna lose everything! This is our home, we can’t lose our home!” She was freaking out and I’d never seen Jenny lose her cool that way.

The payment was due in a week and I’d already made up my mind that I wasn’t taking the money from Mrs. Sheffield. Regardless we were going to lose everything. Why was I lying to Jenny? Why not be honest and prepare her for the worst?

Then Jenny said something that shook my world, something that made me decide that maybe telling Lilly after the debt was paid would be a more realistic idea. She was going to be hurt by the truth regardless of whether or not I took the money. I might was well secure my family and
then
be honest with Lilly.

“I’m quitting school and getting a job,” Jenny said with pure determination.

There was no way in Hell I’d let that happen.

“Over my dead body!”
I said angrily. “Don’t worry about it, Jenny. I already have the money to pay the bank. Just go inside and get ready for school.”

I continued to work on cars alongside Dad for the rest of the day. By the time I was done and in the shower, I was exhausted. All I could think about was getting cleaned up and the getting to Lilly. It had only been a day, but I missed her like crazy. She had spent most of the day in bed, and I had spent most of the day working, so we had barely talked.

On the car ride to her apartment, I tossed around the decision to take the money or not. I’d never been more confused about what to do in my life. By the time I got to Lilly’s place, I was positive I was going to take the money. What was one more week when I had lied to her for almost three months?

Mrs. Sheffield was waiting outside of Lilly’s apartment building for me and she had different plans.

Lucky me!

“To what do I owe the honor?” I asked sarcastically.

She didn’t waste any time getting to the point.

“I’ve never seen Lilly this happy. I want you to continue to see her for another three months. Then you’ll get your money.”

“Wait a damn minute! A deal’s a deal! I only have until the end of this week to make that payment, you can’t do this!”

“I’ve spoken with the bank and it’s taken care of, so what do you say? Do you want your payment made or not?”

“I can’t keep doing this to her. We’re in love. It’s cruel. I want out now and I want to tell her the truth.”

She burst into laughter.

“First of all, men know
nothing
about love—so don’t even give me that bullshit,” she said viciously. “Secondly, my daughter could
never
be in love with a guy like you. She’s confused and blinded by her first boyfriend. Don’t mistake that for love. Devin, should I remind you that I’m friends with the owners of the bank? You tell my daughter
anything
and I’ll make sure you and you father lose everything as well as never work in this town again. Don’t mess with me.”

I couldn’t say anything. She had me by the balls and I was so shocked by her viciousness that all I could do was
stare at her.

“Also, you’ll get out when I say you can, is that understood? Mr. Michaels, I always get what I want, never forget that. Three more months it is then?”

What could I do? What could I say? Maybe she was right about Lilly. Maybe Lilly really didn’t love me. She
was
better than me for sure. There was nothing I could say to stop it, it was already started and I had to finish it or I’d lose everything, including Lilly.

“I won’t say a word, but I’m not going anywhere in three months. I’m here to stay, Mom,” I said sarcastically. I smiled with my teeth, but it never reached my eyes.

“We’ll see about that.”

Once the bitch walked away and before I went inside to see Lilly, I called the bank and asked about my dad’s loan. The man told me that all was taken care of and I knew that I had to continue. As much as I hated it, I had to do it for at least three more months. I would just have to pretend that the money was never coming and I had to remember that the relationship was now real for me. Lilly was mine.

That night, even though we were both tired, Lilly and I snuggled in bed and talked. It had been over a week since we had sex and just as long since we had a decent conversation. I ran my fingers through her soft hair as we got it all out in the open.

“Shannon told me about what happened to you when you were younger.” I traced the bruise on her cheek softly. I was glad to see it was beginning to fade. “Why didn’t you tell me about it, baby?” I asked.

She suddenly looked uncomfortable.

“It was embarrassing—I don’t like telling people about it. It makes me look weak.” She shifted in bed so that she wasn’t looking me in the face anymore.

“I’m sorry for what I said…that night. I had no idea you couldn’t…you know,” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

It hurt my heart that such a sweet and caring woman like Lilly would never experience motherhood. There were moms, like mine, who could walk away from their children like they were shit. Lilly would never do that. She would’ve been an extraordinary mother.

“I should’ve told you about the no kids thing. I tried that night. I’m not sure where you see this going with us.” She swallowed hard and I could tell there were tears she was trying not to shed. “But if kids are something you want in your future, then you shouldn’t count on me to be a part of that.” Her voice sounded thick.

“I want you in my future. We’ll worry about the rest later.”

I leaned over and kissed her softly. She kissed me back harder and in fear of hurting, her I pulled back a little.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Don’t apologize, sweetie. I just don’t want to hurt you. I’ll give you nothing but soft kisses until you’re all better,” I whispered as I softly kissed the side of her neck.

She sucked in her breath.

“I’m feeling much better now,” she sighed.

I laughed. She was so adorable.
             

“No, ma’am, not until you’re
completely
healed,” I playfully scolded.

“Seriously, I’ve never felt better.” She grabbed my face and started to kiss me.

Vanilla and cherries—Lilly.

I could feel myself getting hard. Images of her face in ecstasy the first time we had sex flashed through my mind and then I went from just being hard to throbbing.

“Are you sure?” I asked in between kisses.

She didn’t answer. Instead, she reached down and palmed my hardness through my pants. I hissed as she nibbled on my bottom lip. I kissed her back hard as she stuck her hand down my pants and wrapped her soft fingers around me.

“It’s so hard and hot,” she whispered in awe.

“That’s what you do to me,” I groaned into her neck.

There was nothing keeping us from having sex anymore and since I knew that no matter what we were going to stay together, I didn’t stop myself.

I rolled her over onto her back and kissed her like I never had before. I stopped just long enough to pull her shirt over her head. Then everything stopped.

I stared down at her and was completely shaken. She was bruised all over. There was one large bruise on her side that actually looked like a shoe imprint. Blind rage rolled through me. I wanted to yell and scream. I wanted to find the son of a bitches that did this to her and I wanted to choke the life out of them.

“What’s wrong?” She asked as she started to cover herself.

I reached up and pulled the blanket from her hands.

“Don’t.” The word felt like sand in my mouth.
“Oh God, Lilly.”

I ran my fingers softly over the large bruises all over her body. The small ones on her face didn’t compare.

“They don’t hurt much.” She attempted to smile.

She pulled me down and kissed me again, but all I wanted to do was cry.

“I can’t, baby. It’s too soon. I’d hate myself if I hurt you.”

I started to move away, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me back to her.

“Don’t pull away, Devin, please. I need you to love me. Just make it all go away.” She started to slowly kiss me again.

There was no way I could say no to her.

“We’ll go slow and easy,” I said in between kisses.

We did nothing but kiss and softly rub each other.  I slowly removed her bra and threw it on the floor. Not once did she cover herself and her new confidence turned me on. I went straight for her nipple as I sucked it into my mouth and flicked it with my tongue.

Her breathing was erratic and her hands were in my hair, pressing my mouth to her. I sat up on my knees and pulled my shirt off. She followed me up and started kissing and touching my chest and neck.

“That feels so good,” I rasped.

Somehow I lost control of the situation completely and she had pushed me over onto my back. She kissed and licked me all the way down my chest until she was at the top my pants. Then she roughly started to pull them down. I didn’t stop her. I was hers completely. She could do with me whatever she wanted.

I had no problem letting her have her way with me. Not to mention, with her just getting out of the hospital yesterday, I didn’t want to do anything that was too much for her. I let her take the reins.

Once she won the fight with my pants, she started to go down on me. Before she touched me with her mouth I saw her flinch and make a small noise.  I stopped her.

“Are you OK?” I leaned up on my elbows and asked.

“I’m fine, just lay back.” She pushed me back.

When she attempted to bend down I saw that she was in pain.

“Baby, stop, this is hurting you.”

I sat up and slowly made her lay back. She tried to argue with me, but I covered her mouth with mine and kissed her softly and slowly. After kissing her until she was quiet, I gradually made my way down her body. I kissed every piece of skin I came to and sucked the sensitive parts. Every bruise I passed on my way down I kissed softly and made a silent promise to her with my mouth and hands to make it all better.

She grabbed handfuls of blanket and tiny, soft sighs came from her lips. The innocent noises I heard made my spine tingle and my groin ache. Lilly was natural. Everything she said and did while I worshipped her body was real and unrehearsed. Everything I did to her was so new to her and it showed in her actions.