On the Line (13 page)

Janelle looked at the bag, at the handgun in the bag, and tried to place it. There
was something familiar about it, and her hand trembled as she reached for it. “Was
this what Richard used to shoot my sister?”

“Yes,” Bonner barked gruffly. “And it was the gun that killed him.”

Janelle picked up the heavy metal object. Holding it in her hand, she immediately
remembered the gun. “Nathan gave this to me. He thought I might need it to protect
myself from Richard.” She placed the bagged gun back on the table and shook her head.
“I’d forgotten about that,” she added quietly as ice seeped into her veins. Could
this whole thing have been prevented if she’d refused to accept the gun in the first
place?

“How did the gun come into your husband’s possession?” Sergeant Hayes asked.

Janelle looked up at him. “This was one of those things that got left behind. It
was in a shoebox under the bed in the spare bedroom.” She’d hidden it from Richard
there, in the room she’d been sleeping in with the children.

If only she’d remembered to take it with her.

The two detectives looked at each other and frowned. Sergeant Bonner sat down and
stared at Janelle. “Did Mr. Wagoner know you had it?”

“Not to my knowledge.” Janelle shrugged a shoulder, a lump formed in her throat,
and she swallowed a few times to dislodge it.

Bonner’s brow creased as his lips pressed tightly together, and Hayes scratched frantically
in his notebook.

Janelle waited as she tried to keep the tears at bay. This was her fault. Kelsey’s
injuries had been caused by a gun that was her responsibility. If Kelsey had died
. . . Janelle closed her eyes on that thought.

“Are we done here then?” her father asked. Both officers looked at him and nodded.
“Then we’ll be leaving now.”

Janelle sat motionless as her father slid his chair back and stood. It wasn’t until
a few seconds later, when he tugged on her arm, that she rose woodenly from her seat.
He gently gripped her arm as he led her from the room, and they were halfway down
the hall when her legs just stopped. She couldn’t move, she was gasping for air;
she felt like an elephant was perched on her shoulders. She pressed her back to the
wall and slid to a crouch, hugging her body as her mind raced.

She felt the weight of her father’s hand on her upper arm. “Janelle, are you okay?”

“Just give me a minute,” she practically whispered.

She had told Nathan she didn’t want the gun. Even after he’d explained why he wanted
her to have it, she’d asked him to take it back. He’d been persistent and she’d eventually
caved, but as soon as he’d left, she’d put it in the shoebox. She closed her eyes
and slowly lowered her head.

“I should never have agreed to keep it.” Janelle looked at her father’s frowning
face. “He never should have given me that gun. I’d never even told him Richard was
abusing me.”

“Janelle, recognizing abuse is his specialty,” George said sadly as he held his hand
out to her.

Janelle placed her hand in his, and with a gentle grip he pulled her to her feet.
“It wasn’t at the time.”

Her father’s eyebrows rose slightly.

“I told him I didn’t want it. I told him I wouldn’t use it,” Janelle said, her heart
racing with anger and frustration. “If he’d just kept the damn thing, we wouldn’t
be in this mess.”

“Janelle.” Her father’s calm voice reached her, but she ignored it.

“If he hadn’t insisted I keep it, I wouldn’t have had to hide it from Richard. I
wouldn’t have forgotten it was in the house.” Her eyes widened as she stared at George’s
face. “What if he’d shot one of the kids with it? Dad, he could have killed them
when they had visitation with him.”

“Sweetheart,” he tried again with the soothing tones and gripped her upper arms as
tears filled her eyes. “That didn’t happen.”

“But it could have. And it’s Nathan’s fault for leaving that thing with me,” her
voice cracked on the last few words. “He should have just stayed away from us. I
wish he hadn’t come back into my life.”

George wrapped his arms around her, and a few tears slid down her cheeks. “I don’t
think you mean that.” His words brushed across her ear. “Do you?”

“Yes,” she said as she hiccupped.

A vision of her daughter, Nathan’s child, flashed through her mind.

“No,” Janelle muttered as another image crossed her brain, Nathan and Zoe playing
with her new toys after Christmas dinner. The tears were so thick they choked the
final words from her, “I don’t know.”

By the time she arrived home, she was calmer and no longer blamed Nathan for what
had happened. She still wasn’t happy with him, but now the guilt lay squarely on
her shoulders. She flung the front door open as she stepped into the house and yelled
for her sister.

“Kitchen!” was the response.

Janelle walked toward it, stopping only for a moment to greet the children, playing
with blocks at the coffee table, and found Kelsey and Patrick staring each other
down across the kitchen island. Kelsey turned and smiled widely at her as Janelle
threw her arms around her sister. Kelsey, sitting on the barstool, giggled lightly
as she returned the hug. “Hey,” she said as she patted Janelle’s back.

Janelle stepped back and looked at her younger sister and tried to smile.

The frown Kelsey gave her told her she’d failed miserably. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Janelle answered and glanced at Patrick.

He was still scowling in Kelsey’s direction but met her quick look and stood. The
lines in his forehead and around his lips deepened.

She looked at her sister again and gripped her hands. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” All humor left Kelsey’s voice as she squeezed Janelle’s fingers. “You’re
starting to worry me.”

Janelle’s throat tightened as she sat on the stool in front of Kelsey, facing her.
She blinked furiously and rolled her eyes until she was sure she wouldn’t cry again.
“The gun Richard used to shoot you,” Janelle began and paused when she heard Patrick’s
sharp inhalation.

“Calm down,” Kelsey muttered with a quick, sad glance at him. Patrick walked around
the kitchen island to stand behind Kelsey. He placed his hands on her shoulders,
and she released one of Janelle’s hands to reach up and grip one of his.

“It was my gun,” Janelle finished when they’d stopped moving.

Both sets of eyes sharpened on her face, but they remained silent. Janelle had spent
the entire thirty-minute drive home berating herself for making such a stupid mistake.
If only she hadn’t left the gun at the house. If only she hadn’t agreed to let Nathan
leave it in the first place. She should have been more forceful when she’d told Nathan
she didn’t want it. But who was she kidding?

Years of listening to her mother’s not-so-wonderful advice on how to be a good wife
had certainly taken root. When Kelsey had gotten pregnant, Janelle had practically
laughed at her mother’s advice. It had been clear to her then that Kelsey had tried
to follow every bit of it and it had gotten her nowhere. Janelle had been so thankful
thinking she wasn’t like that. At least to the extreme Kelsey had been.

But not long after, she was shocked to realize how wrong she was. She found herself
making little decisions every day based on what Richard might want. She’d brushed
it off, as they were such little things it didn’t really matter. So what if she fixed
asparagus for dinner three nights a week because it was his favorite? She liked it
too. So what if she got her haircut in the same style every time because it was how
he liked it? It was an easy style to maintain. So what if she picked up the same
type of wine each trip to the grocery store because he commented once how much he
liked it? It wasn’t that bad.

Janelle had never tried to exert herself until Kelsey got pregnant and needed a place
to live. She’d begged and pleaded and bargained with Richard until he agreed. In
the grand scheme of things, she’d thought it was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.
And as time passed, she’d started standing up for what she wanted more and more,
never really considering her mother’s advice.

She wasn’t sure when she’d reached the point of just not caring whether Richard was
happy or not, she just knew she had. Clearly, though, the habits were still ingrained
in her. The fact that she’d given in to Nathan was proof of that. She’d wanted to
make him happy and it had nearly cost her sister’s life.

After a few more seconds of silence, Kelsey’s head tilted to the side and she frowned.
“O-kay,” she said slowly. “So, what are you apologizing for?” Janelle’s chin dropped
and Kelsey’s frown slowly turned upward. “Janelle, it was your gun. So what? Richard
was the one using it.”

“But if I hadn’t had it, he wouldn’t have been able to get to it,” Janelle softly
argued.

“How did he get it?” Patrick asked soberly. “Was it here?”

Janelle met his concerned gaze and shook her head. “No, I forgot about it when I
moved out.”

“Oh.” Kelsey’s lips formed and held a perfect circle.

Patrick frowned and Janelle watched his face carefully, sure that he would understand
and start to blame her as well. He should be as mad at her as she was herself. He’d
almost lost Kelsey too.

“How did the gun get into the house to begin with?” Kelsey’s calm question broke
into her silent observations. “Had you had it long before you moved out?”

“What?” Janelle felt like they were having a normal conversation over a cup of coffee.
It didn’t feel right. “I guess I’d had it for two years or so.” Kelsey and Patrick
nodded in unison, Janelle let out a long breath as she added, “Nathan gave it to
me.”

“To protect yourself ?” Patrick asked.

Janelle thought she might fall off her seat. Those had been Nathan’s exact words.

“That’s kind of sweet that he was so concerned about you after you ended things,”
Kelsey added before Janelle could speak.

“It was before I ended it. And it’s not sweet,” Janelle spat as she threw Kelsey’s
hand away and Kelsey backed up slightly. “Sweet that he thought I might be able to
shoot someone, namely Richard?”

“Sweet that he cared enough about you to want you to be safe when he wasn’t around,”
Kelsey stated quietly. “Janelle, he knows you well enough to know you would probably
never use a gun unless your life or, even more so, the kids’ lives depended on it.
He was obviously aware of Richard’s abusive tendencies and wanted to ensure everyone’s
safety.”

“Yes, well, look where it got us. Richard used the gun against all of us, didn’t
he? I told Nathan I didn’t want it, and he didn’t listen. He should have just kept
his gun to himself and we wouldn’t be in this mess.” Janelle turned to prop her elbows
on the counter.

“You don’t believe that, do you?” Patrick asked, stepping away from Kelsey and leaning
on the counter toward her. Janelle shifted her glare to him for a moment before focusing
on the veining in the marble countertop. “Janelle, if it hadn’t been your gun, it
would have been another one. Or another weapon of some sort.”

“Yes, but mine was convenient.” Tears filled Janelle’s eyes.

“True,” Kelsey agreed. “But even if it hadn’t been, he was determined to hurt me
and Zach and, in a roundabout way, you. He could just as easily have bought one.
Except for money, there was really nothing to stop him.”

“Richard was the bad guy, not the gun. Not you for leaving it at his house. Not Nathan
for giving it to you in the first place,” Patrick stated. “No one blames you.”

“Except for Mom, of course,” Kelsey said, and Janelle looked at her. “But then, she
blames us for everything,” she added with a wink, and a laugh bubbled in Janelle’s
chest. Kelsey wrapped her arms around her sister, and Janelle felt suddenly better,
lighter.

“Can’t wait for her to hear about this,” Janelle muttered into her sister’s hair.
“If Nathan hadn’t been so stubborn and persistent, then we wouldn’t even have to
be talking about this.”

Kelsey pulled away and beamed brightly. “Well, men can’t help it. They’re all stubborn
and persistent.”

“Hey,” Patrick grumbled, and Janelle saw his immense frown at Kelsey.

Kelsey wouldn’t meet his dark look, she focused on something over Janelle’s shoulder
and shrugged.

“What’s going on?” Janelle asked slowly, the memory of the looks on their faces when
she’d arrived seeping back into her mind. “Trouble in paradise already?”

Kelsey shook her head, her smile faltering slightly. “No, just a small disagreement.”

“About what?” Janelle studied her sister’s face and saw the slight tension creep
into her features. She looked at Patrick, surprised to find hurt in his eyes, not
the anger she’d been expecting. She looked at Kelsey again.

“He wants me to go to Paris with him,” Kelsey confessed.

“It’s only two months. At most,” Patrick added.

“Two months that you’ll be working and I’ll be stuck in the hotel or your trailer,
unable to do anything because I can barely walk.” Kelsey finally looked at him.