On the Fly (12 page)

She sat there with her legs draped
over mine. I let my hand slide down her calves, a little at a time,
urging her to tuck her feet in beside me. She jumped from my touch,
and I took my hand away again. I wanted to comfort her, but somehow
I kept doing the opposite. This wasn’t going well.

“
How are they?” I
asked.

“
Fine,” she lied through
her teeth.

I nodded, letting her have her lie for
now. “I’ll take you to work in the morning.”

“
I don’t—”

“
Babs and I have to go to
the same place you do,” I said, cutting off her argument before she
could gain any steam. “It’s not a big deal.”

“
For you to carry me around
all the time?” She let out a sound that could have been a laugh but
came across more like a strangled cough. “Why are you doing
this?”

“
Why do you have such a
hard time letting people help you?” I countered. “You’re hurt. You
can’t do everything yourself. I’m just trying to help.” My desire
to help her—almost overwhelming in its intensity—felt both right
and uncomfortable in equal measure.

Rachel’s head shook, just a small
movement that I almost missed, and then she looked across the room
to where Maddie was using the Wii controller like it was a steering
wheel, a genuine smile on the little girl’s face. But Rachel didn’t
say anything, just stared across at her daughter with a faraway
look in her eyes that ripped my heart out because I recognized it
as the same my family and I had all had when we’d looked at Dana
for years.

“
What happened?” I asked
before I could stop myself. Something had to have happened to
Maddie. Something that put the wary look in the little girl’s eyes
that reminded me of Dana, something that made Rachel shield her
kids so much.

I knew all about being overprotective.
The urge didn’t just come out of the blue. There was always a
reason for it, something that drove us to try to safeguard the
people we love even when we couldn’t.

She didn’t answer. I knew she wouldn’t
before I asked, so there was really no purpose in me posing the
question in the first place.

Rachel stared down at her hands for a
long time. I studied her—the thin lines at the corners of her eyes,
the tense set of her lips, the perfect statue-like stillness of her
hands. She wasn’t going to tell me anything of real value, nothing
important. Maybe not ever.

The less she revealed, the more I
wanted to dig, to delve into her past and discover what left her so
guarded and overprotective and selfless to the point of her own
detriment.

I just didn’t know how.

Without even thinking about it, I
reached up and brushed a stray curl away from her face, tucking it
behind her ear. I shouldn’t have done that.

“
How am I supposed to know
if I can trust you?” she whispered, pulling herself away from me
again. This time, I let her move off my lap and take up her seat on
the opposite end of the couch. I gave her space.

After everything Dana had been
through, I knew as well as anyone that there were no words to
adequately answer her question.

I’d have to show her.

At about 4:45
the next afternoon, Jim Sutter stopped by my desk.
He sat on the corner and smiled all the way to his eyes. Trusting
people had never been easy for me, and it had only gotten worse
recently, but there was something about him that came across as
trustworthy.

“
We didn’t overwhelm you
too much today, did we?” he asked.

I’d spent the entire morning in human
resources, filling out various forms, applying for health insurance
and life insurance and all the other benefits my new position would
provide for me and my kids. I hadn’t started learning all the
actual requirements my job entailed until after lunch, and Martha
hadn’t had a ton of time to teach me those things.

She’d been busy helping Mr. Sutter
deal with executing a player trade that went through today—filing
the appropriate reports with the NHL, coordinating travel for the
players involved, and countless other tasks I could hardly keep
straight. I’d watched, trying not to get in the way, and I’d
assisted her where I could, but I still felt like I was completely
redundant. She knew exactly what was needed, and I didn’t have the
first clue.

And yes, I had started feeling
overwhelmed watching her work because she’d been so incredibly
efficient in everything she did. Was I really going to be able to
take over for her? I wasn’t even sure how long she would still be
here to help me learn the ropes before she retired. Even if she
stayed for a month, I doubted I’d be ready for her to go. There
were too many things for me to remember.

I didn’t want my boss to think I was
incompetent, though. “I’m sure I’ll figure it out, Mr.
Sutter.”

“
Jim,” he corrected me for
at least the fourth time since this morning—still smiling. “I’m
sure you will, too. I wouldn’t have offered you the job if I didn’t
believe in you. Today wasn’t an ideal day to be your first, but
that couldn’t be helped. It should have given you a decent idea of
what you can expect on the crazier days, I think.”

I only hoped there wouldn’t be too
many of the crazy days. I nodded, trying to smile. I probably
didn’t quite pull it off, though. Jason had stolen both my smile
and Maddie’s, and I hadn’t been able to find mine again yet. I’d
have to work on that. Who wanted an assistant who couldn’t smile
convincingly?

“
Tomorrow should be a much
more normal day,” he said. “We don’t have mid-season trades very
often. Martha can explain things in a calmer environment, and she
can actually help you learn your job instead of doing it
herself.”

That brought out a laugh in
me. “I don’t really know what to do with a calm environment. With
two kids…” I hadn’t seen a
calm
day in so long I doubted I’d even recognize one if
I was slapped in the face with it.

“
I know all too well the
chaos kids can create. That’s one of the reasons I thought you’d
handle the job better than anyone else I’d interviewed. Single moms
are great at getting things done even when the world is falling
apart around them. Or at least mine was.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that
so I kept my mouth shut. My world was in a constant falling-apart
state lately, and I didn’t feel like I was getting anything of use
done. Every time I solved one problem, three more popped up in its
place.

Martha got up from her desk, the one
directly across from mine, putting a few things back into place
exactly where she wanted them. Her desk was filled to overflowing,
but I’d discovered she had a method to her madness. Any time
someone wanted anything from her, all day long, she was able to
reach to a specific spot and grab exactly the thing she
needed.

My desk, in comparison, was barren and
lonely looking. Aside from the computer monitor, a desk organizer
with a few supplies, and Jim Sutter, there wasn’t really anything
on it. I supposed that would change before too long, as I got more
involved in the position.

“
Mind if I cut out a few
minutes early, Jim?” Martha asked.

“
Your grandson has a game
tonight, right? Get out of here.” He didn’t even hesitate to grant
her an early exit. “Tell Joey to have fun,” he called out as she
headed toward the stairs. Then he looked at me again. “I met with
Brenden Campbell this morning after practice while you were in with
HR. He told me about your feet.”

My face flooded with heat. I’d been
trying to hide how much pain I had been in all day long. I didn’t
need my new boss to think I couldn’t do my job, no matter what the
reason may be. “My feet will be fine,” I rushed out.

“
He should be here to pick
you up soon,” Jim said, ignoring my embarrassment and my need to
convince him I was capable. “I’m glad he and Babs live so close to
you, that they can help you out with things.”

“
They’ve been great to me
and my kids,” I said, wishing I could hide how uncomfortable talk
of Brenden made me.

Jim nodded, his expression as friendly
as ever. “Babs really likes your kids. He’s been telling me about
Tuck for a week.”

Wasn’t it five o’clock yet?
With each minute that ticked by, my agitation grew by leaps and
bounds. I’d never had a job where people talked about their
families—and definitely not where anyone talked about
my
kids. It felt
intrusive, too familiar. I wanted to keep my kids to myself, where
I could protect them as much as possible from all the evils of the
world, even though I knew better than anyone that I’d never be able
to fully protect them.

I’d already failed at that.

“
Tuck likes him, too,” I
finally said. Tuck liked everyone he met, but he’d really taken a
shine to Jamie. I was torn between wanting to find good male role
models for him and wanting to insulate the three of us as best I
could.

“
Good, good,” Jim replied.
“Next Saturday, when the team has a few days off before the
Christmas home stand, we’re holding our annual holiday party. The
team’s owner, Mr. Engels, caters a big meal, and we all bring our
families—kids, too. Babs’s parents are coming in with all his
brothers since his birthday is the same week. It’s mandatory for
the team.”

Did that mean it was mandatory for me,
too?

He answered my question before I could
ask. “I know it’s not much notice and you have a lot going on, but
I hope you’ll come and bring Maddie and Tuck. It’s one of the rare
chances you’ll have to meet Mr. Engels. He isn’t around
much—prefers to stick with his business affairs up in Calgary and
leave the running of the team to the people he’s put in place.
Anyway, it’d be good for your kids to get to know some of the other
kids.”

“
I’ll think about it,” I
hedged. Letting them be around other kids didn’t seem so bad, but I
hated the thought of them being around so many adults I didn’t
know. I’d only met a handful of the people in the organization
today. Not enough for me to feel comfortable around
them.

Brenden came around the corner down
the hall before I had to avoid answering any more questions about
my kids, thank goodness. He had on jeans and a tight-fitting,
long-sleeved brown T-shirt…the same dark brown as his
eyes.

That shirt hugged all his muscles,
stretching tautly over them and reminding me how strong he was, how
it felt when he lifted me in his arms and held me close to his
chest. I shivered.

He smiled when he saw me, which made
my heart stutter. He ought to be scowling. It would be easier to
keep a healthy distance from him if he looked angry. Damn it, why
was he smiling at me, and why was I reacting like this? I couldn’t
afford to react to him like my teenaged self would have. Look at
all the trouble that had earned me with Jason.

I guess my jaw must have dropped
because Jim craned his head around and saw Brenden coming our
way.

“
Perfect timing,” Jim said.
“Shut everything down, and I’ll see you in the morning.” Then he
stood up and went back into his office, nodding in Brenden’s
direction as he left.