On the Edge (10 page)

“Yes.  I feel okay enough.”  Nothing will ever stop me from seeing Tommy.  In fact, being with Tommy makes me feel better.

On my drive over to Tommy’s, I decide to stop at the store and buy a pregnancy test.  I stop at one of the stores closest to his house so I don’t ris
k running into someone I may know.  I purchase one of those digital tests.  According to the box, it will say either pregnant or not pregnant. 

I pull into the guest parking spot.  Tommy’s car isn’t in its parking spot.  I use the key that he gave me earlier in the week and unlock the front door and walk in.  I decide to take the pregnancy test right now since I’m here alone.  I go in the bathroom and read the instructions. 
After taking the test, I set it on the counter next to the sink.  I finish using the restroom and wash my hands.  As I’m drying my hands, I look over at the test.  Tears begin to stream down my face as I see ‘pregnant’ across the small window on the test.

Chapter
Eight

I’m sitting on the couch sobbing into a pillow when Tommy walks in at four o’clock.  I can’t even look at him.  I’m afraid that he will be pissed when I tell him that I’m pregnant.  He puts his keys, wallet and phone on the kitchen counter and strides over to me.  He’s by my side with his arms around me in record time.
  “Baby, what’s going on?” Tommy asks as he pulls me close to his chest.

             
I shake my head.  I’m so terrified that I begin to shake and sob louder.

             
“Baby, you can tell me anything.  I’m here.  Please don’t cry.”

             
“I’m pregnant,” I say as I begin to wail. 

             
He falls silent but never releases me from his hold.  He places his nose in my hair and gives me a kiss on my temple.  “It’s going to be alright, angel.  I promise.”

             
“How is it going to be alright?  I’m barely eighteen years old and I’ve only known you a few weeks.  We don’t know each other well enough to have a baby.”

             
“Look at me,” he says.  I just can’t bring myself to look at him.  I’m too ashamed that I let him down.  I’ve let so many people down.  “Dammit, Abigail, look at me!” He snaps.

             
I obey and look at him through the tears that continue to flow.

             
“I love you and I am never leaving you,” he says as he puts his hand over my belly. “This is life that we created.  This is half of me and half of you.  Yes, this is unexpected and it would have been better if this life was created later, but I will love this baby as much as I love you.  Please, don’t worry.  I love you and baby bean and I will always love you both.”

             
I lay in Tommy’s arms as the sobbing subsides.  He really took me by surprise by not freaking out on me.  Is he really okay with this or is he just trying to stay strong because I am weak?  My Tommy, God only knows how much I truly love him.  I wouldn’t want to be in this predicament with anyone else.  He kisses my forehead before standing up.  He walks into the bathroom.  He’s in there for a long while before I hear him turn on the faucets in the bath tub.  He has a huge smile on his face that almost touches his eyes.  “I saw the test.  Baby, I can’t believe we’re having a baby.  I wouldn’t want to start a family with anyone other than you.  Come, I’ve drawn you a bath.  You need to soak and relax.”

             
I take his hand and walk to the bathroom.  As I pull my shirt off and expose my bare stomach, Tommy drops to his knees and kisses my belly.  He’s so happy he’s going to be a daddy that he draws a smile to my face as I finish undressing and climb in the bath of warm water.

             
The warm water feels good against my skin.  Tommy steps out of the bathroom so I can relax and enjoy by bath.  I begin to rub my belly.  I can’t believe there is a little life growing inside me.  I lean back, not removing my hands from my core, and begin to imagine how my baby will look.  Will he or she favor me or Tommy?  I hope the baby favors Tommy.  I’m so plain and boring and Tommy is gorgeous and full of life. 

             
Tommy comes back a few minutes later with a towel and my pajamas.  He helps me out of the bath and wraps the towel around my body.  “I am one excited man and you are the reason for it, Abigail.”

             
I begin to blush as he wraps me in his arms.  We just stand there, embracing each other.  He doesn’t stop hugging me until I begin to shiver from the cold.  He steps back and allows me to dry off and get dressed.

             
“Tommy, I’m exhausted.  Can we go to bed?”

             
“Of course, babe, anything you wish.”  He kisses my head before leading me out of the bathroom.

             
As we snuggle under the blanket, his hand caressing my shoulder, we begin to talk about the life that grows within my womb.  “Do you have any names that you prefer?” He asks me.

             
“I’ve never really thought about it.  Do you?”

             
“Well, I’ve never thought about it until you were in the bath.  I really like the name Logan if it’s a boy.”

             
“Logan isn’t a bad name at all.  I kind of like it.  Logan Jackson,” I say, trying out the sound.

             
“What’s your middle name?” I ask him.

             
“It’s Cooper.  Why?”

             
“Do you mind if our son has your middle name, that is if this little life inside me is a boy?  Logan Cooper Jackson”

             
“I would be honored to share my middle name with our son,” Tommy says as a smile creeps across his face that seems to stretch to his eyes.  I can’t believe how excited he is about having a baby.  I figured he would be disappointed with the impending arrival of our baby.

             
Tommy has made the worry and the fear dissipate from within me.  I’m no longer afraid.  He knew all the right things to say and his demeanor has relaxed me enough that I begin to drift off to sleep.  My last thoughts are of the baby within my womb.  The little life that Tommy and I created out of love for one another.  My life did not end with the positive pregnancy test.  This is the day when I start to live.  

                                  
 
              *   *   *

             
Graduation day has finally approached and I have mixed emotions.  Tonight I graduate from high school but tomorrow I tell my parents that Tommy and I are going to have a baby and that I’ll be moving in with him.  I try not to focus on tomorrow and only think of today.  Tomorrow will bring its own problems with it.

             
“Abigail,” I hear Katherine shout, “Can you believe that today is the day we say goodbye to high school and hello to what life has to offer?”

             
“I know, I’m excited to be done with all the homework and the drama that high school had to offer.”

             
“Michael and Jason are supposed to be here for the ceremony.  Do you mind if I go home with you after graduation practice to get ready?  I would like to spend time with your brother before the ceremony tonight.”

             
“Sure, you can come over,” I say.  “When did you hear that Jason was coming?”

             
“Mike told me last night when we were talking.  Why?”

             
“It’s just that Tommy and Jason don’t get along and I don’t want any drama tonight between the two of them.  I’m going to have to message Tommy and ask that he ‘play’ nice with Jason so it doesn’t ruin my night.”

             
Graduation practice goes off with only a few minor snags.  About the third go around, everything ran smoothly.  Before dismissing us, we were instructed that the ceremony would start at seven o’clock but that we needed to arrive by five in order to prepare.  I look at my phone and realize that we have about four hours to get ready and be back here in time for formation. 

             
I call Tommy as soon as we get home.

             
“Hey, babe, how was practice?”

             
“It was good.  Took us a bit to figure things out but we’re ready for tonight.”

             
“That’s good.”

             
“Tommy, I need to tell you something.”

             
“Oh boy, this doesn’t sound good.”

             
“I just found out that my brother is bringing his friend, Jason, tonight.  I know how you two don’t get along but I need you to please be nice.”

             
The line goes quiet.  I don’t even know if he’s still there.  “Tommy?”

             
“What Abigail?”

             
“I thought you hung up.  You got awfully quiet.”

             
“What the hell did you want me to say, Abigail?  You know I don’t like that son-of-a-bitch, but you’re inviting him anyways.  You’re picking that asshole over me.  Do you want him?  Do you want rich, college boy to be your baby daddy?” Tommy snaps at me.  I don’t understand him.  That’s not what any of this means.

             
“Tommy, that’s not what I’m doing and I don’t want anyone else to be my baby’s father!  Look, Tommy, I don’t know what has gotten into you but this is bullshit and I will not sit here and take your tone of voice with me.  Frankly,
you
need to grow the hell up and quit trying to pick and choose who I can hang out with and who I can’t.  Now, I want you to attend my graduation, but if you can’t act like an adult, you can just keep your ass at home and I’ll see you whenever I see you!” 

             
The line is quiet.  I’m sure I pissed him off and he’s just trying to keep his calm but I’m waiting for him to let me have it because he doesn’t like being talked to the way that I just talked to him.

             
“Whatever!  If you want me to be nice then I’ll play fucking nice, but I won’t forget that you chose him over me.  I gave you my heart and you ripped it from my chest by choosing to have Jason around when you know damn well that I can’t stand him.”

             
“Tommy, that’s not what I’m doing.  I can’t tell Jason that he can’t come around.  He’s been Mike’s friend for eight years.  If I just start avoiding him my parents are going to know that it has something to do with you and it will make life harder for both of us.  You need to grow up Tommy and stop being so jealous.  Jason has been around for years and I have never, not once, done anything with him and I don’t intend on starting now that I have you in my life.”

             
Tommy lets out a sigh before responding to me.  “I’m sorry, Abigail.  You’re right.  I’m being an ass.  I know you love me and only me.  I mean, if Jason wanted you, wouldn’t he have told you years ago?  I mean, like you said, you’ve never had a serious relationship before, so I’m sure he just sees you as a little sister.”

             
What the hell is that supposed to mean?  Is he trying to say that no one wants me because I’m plain?  I’m too hormonal to deal with this and I don’t want to fight with him anymore.  He’s already driving me crazy and I don’t have the patience to deal with this anymore.  “So, are you going to come tonight or not?”

             
“I’ll be there, angel.  I won’t sit with your family and I’ll wait to see you after.  What do you want to do after graduation?  Would you like to go out to dinner and a movie?”

             
I didn’t think he’d want to get together after graduation.  I’m sure he isn’t going to be impressed that I already have plans and they don’t include him.  “Well, with Michael coming in, my parents are probably taking us out and I would like to spend the evening with my brother since I rarely get to see him.  I would like to stay with my family tonight and then, after we tell my folks about baby bean tomorrow, I will go back to your place with you, if that’s okay.”

             
“That’s fine, I suppose.  It also gives you time to hang out with Jason too.” he says with anger in his voice.

             
“I love you, Tommy, but I really want to see my family.  Especially if tonight may be the last time they are happy with me for a while.  You do realize that tomorrow is not going to end well and I want one more night with them when they aren’t pissed at me.”

             
“I get it, babe.  I’ll see you tonight for your graduation.  Seven o’clock, right?”

             
“That is correct.  I’ll see you tonight, babe.  I love you.”

             
“I love you too, angel.”

             
Katherine and I are ready for graduation with a couple of hours to spare.  Michael is good for her, it seems.  She’s still into her appearance, but not as much as she used to be.  She’s wearing a mid-thigh silver, sleeve-less dress with matching pumps.  Her hair has been left down and she has light make-up on.  This is a completely different look for Katherine and I have to say, it’s quite a nice change.

             
My belly has grown but I’m still able to hide the pregnancy.  I bought a loose fitting black dress with a V-neck.  I have matching flats and my hair is in a French twist.  I have a little more make-up on than usual to cover the rings around my eyes.  I seem to sleep more than I’m used to because I am always tired; however, even with the extra sleep, I still feel like I’m not sleeping enough.  I read, online, that pregnancy can make a woman tired, but I didn’t think that it would make me this tired.

             
Michael and Jason arrive just as Katherine and I finish getting ready.  They look exquisite.  Both are wearing denim jeans with polo shirts.  Jason is wearing a black one and Michael is wearing a blue one.  Michael and Katherine talk about going graduation shopping for him tomorrow.  Michael and Jason are graduating college next weekend and Katherine wants to make sure that Mike looks his best.  Michael seems to enjoy a woman that spends so much time with him, even if it does include a lot more shopping than he is used to.