On Tenterhooks (6 page)

“I just
wish,”
Abby started,
“I just wish I could say goodbye to him.”

“I know
,
Sweetie, I know,” her mother replied
, tears forming at the edges of her eyes
.
“We all do
.
But we’ve got to find our own way now
—
our own way to let him go
.
We’ll never, ever forget him
.
But I don’t think he’d want us to stay like this.”

She
gently rubbed
Abby’s back for several minutes until they both fell asleep under
the
comforter.

Chapter
7

Veronica
made it
to
her Manhattan
office early
, as usual
.
It was only 7:15
and m
ost of the staff wouldn’t be arriving for at least an hour
.
She enjoyed the quiet time alone
and used it to
plan for the day ahead.

She sat down
, dropped her purse in a desk drawer
and logged into her
laptop
.
Her desktop picture, the photo of
a
clownfish
she had taken last year in Cozumel
, came up on the screen as the computer loaded.
That photo used to make her long for the warm sand and aqua waters
, b
ut
r
ecently the waters
in the photo looked cold and mean
.

The ringing of the phone startled her
.
She looked at the
phone’s
display
.
It was John.

Probably wants to review the notes for today’s budget justification meeting.

She realized he
knew she was in already, because he was also in
.
John was one of the few
(t
he very few
)
people
in the
office who was
more of a
workaholic
than she was
.
She let it go to voicemail.

“If it’s that important,
he can come see me.”

Like clockwork, John appeared in her doorway
and started a conversation without even a mention of the phone call.

“Hey, I’ve got a two o’clock conference call with Production that will probably run right up u
ntil the budget thing.
Can you take care of
getting us set up
and stuff?”

“Good morning to you too, sir
,
”
Veronica
answered
, smiling
to soften her sarcasm
. “Yeah
, I’ll take care of it
.
I’ve got the slides
right here
—
I polished up the details one more time last night.”

“Cool, thanks.
Send it to me this AM.
I’ll check it out and send you any changes.”

“Will do.
Coming to you
. . .
now
,” s
he
said, pressing
the
s
end button in her
message
.

“Cool, thanks,” he repeated,
turning to leave
.
He grabbed the doorway
and paused
.

“Hey,
Veronica
?”

“Hmmm?” she replied, not looking away from
the lengthy list of messages in her
In
-
box.

“Are you okay?”

She looked up.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, you
know, about your Mom and all
. . .
”

“Ah, yes.
I’m fine.”

“But, I mea
n, your Mom died
. . .
a
nd you only took
a few days
off.”

“And
?”

“And nothing,” he
shrugged
. “
You haven’t
said
much
about it
since you got back.
I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, John.”

He
looked at her
.
She turned from the computer to face him across the desk.
She sighed.

“L
ook, John,
h
ere’s the deal, okay?  My mother and I
hadn’t
been close in years
.
She always wanted me to get married right out of college, lik
e she did
.
I didn’t want to.
”

She shrugged and continued.

“
The lure of the
‘
Big City
’
was too exciting for me
.
I figured that marriage, family, wasn’t a fad
,
so there was no
reason for me to rush into it, right?”

John nodded.

“And a
fter a few years,
my sister
filled the grandkid quota
,
and my mother pretty much let me off the hook
.
We kept in touch, but not much more than that
.
I think she disapproved of
my moving to
New York, and living here,” she said, gesturing to her office desk.

“Yeah, I get that part,” he said, nodding.

“She was a fir
m believer in small town life.
Did I ever tell you that she came to visit me once?”

John shook his head.

“
Just once,
right after I started
as an intern
at
Time
.
I
t was like twenty
years ago.
But s
he was scared of everything
—
the people, the buildings, the smells, the sounds
.
It all got to her, and fast
.
She only stayed for
a few
days.
”

Veronica
shook her head.

“
I was sad to see her go, b
ut truthfu
lly, it felt good too, y’know?”

John nodded.

“
I
dunno
,”
Veronica
continued. “
I guess it was
like
I was severing that last tie to small
-
town life
.
The big city sent her packing, but I
loved
it!  I was living proof of
Ol’ Blue Eyes’
song
.
If I could make it here, I could make it anywhere, do anything
.
It was exhilarating!”

John leaned against the doorway and listened.

“And so life went on
.
I made it home for holidays
, w
ell, the major ones anyway
.
We always talked and were polite
.
She never asked me again about coming back home
.
It was like she knew I’d never come back for good
.
So from then on out, it was always light
.
We stuck
to safe subjects
,
like religion and politics
.”

Veronica
paused.

“
And now, well, she’s gone,” said
Veronica
,
her voice husky
.
She turned
back toward her email
.

“Wow,” said
John
. “
Do you know that
we have been working together
for almost
eight
years, and that was probably the first time you have ever
talked about anything personal?
”

Veronica
raised an eyebrow
.

“Yeah
,
well, don’t let it get out or our dear sweet co-workers will try their hand at walking all over me
.
I’ve worked hard to get this f
orce field around me just right
.
I don’t need the likes of you throwing
a
wrench in
it
.”

John grabbed his lips and pinched them closed.

“N
o problem, I won’t say a word.
Okay, well I just wanted you to know that if you need anything, you know if you need a break or whatever, I can cover for you.”

“Thanks
,
John
.
I appreciate it, really, but I’m fine.”

She
turned and
smiled.

“Okay then,” he answered
.
“See you at
four
.”

He turned and left her doorway
.
She watched him
go
and then turned back to her work, eager to get on with the day’s crises and triumphs.

Chapter
8

H
is
pace was
slow, but steady
as t
he
desert
dry roasted
the earth under his black boots
.
Each step
down
raised a small puff of orange dust
.
The asphalt of
Arizona’
s
Concho Highway s
wam in the intense heat. The
black
cassock
he wore
drew in the heat
.
Sweat matted the
wispy
white hair under
a
wide
-
brimmed
black
hat
as it
slid down the nape of his neck and under his
black and white collar
.
He
found it
exhilarating
and
welcomed the
burning
heat
.

“M
y Lord smiles upon me,” he
said
occasionally, as if this
were
the
appropriate response to an unheard question.

L
ong legs carried him forward across the parched dirt on the side of the blacktop, mile after mile
.
In his
left
hand,
he clutched a worn, leather-bound Bible to his chest
.
L
arge
, close-set eyes framed a hawkish, long nose
.
Perspiration
beading on his
pale
forehead found its way through his bushy, white eyebrows
and into his eyes
.
The pain made him smile
—
it was merely another signature of his mission.

A
drop
of sweat
slid
to the tip of his nose and h
u
ng
there
, swaying with his gait as if trying not to fall
.
His steps never faltered, nor did he attempt to wipe it off
.
He relished the feeling
of delicious anticipation
,
and
laughed when gravity won and pulled the droplet down into the
dust
at
his feet
.
Mile after sweltering mile he walked
, eating up the desert
expanse
like a ravenous dog eats a stolen meal.

Occasionally
, a car would pass him on the road
.
Thirty miles east of Snowflake
,
the alarm on his wristwatch began beeping. He smiled as he read the numbers, pressing a button on its side. “Excellent. Time to feed.” His pace quickened.

Moments later, a
teal
blue
sports car
whizzed by
, stopped
quickly
and pu
lled over into the dirt
.
The driver
opened the sunroof and stood up in her seat, looking over
the back of the car toward the p
reacher as he approached.
The strong desert winds whipped over the hood of her car and wrapped her platinum blonde hair around her
frowning
face. She pulled
the strands
back and shouted over the wind.

“
Can I
. . .
”
she stumbled
.
“Can I give you a ride somewhere?
” Cassie was confused. They were her words, in her voice
, b
ut they felt false, as if she
were
reading a script. “After all, t
his is
a
long, lonely road
we’re on
.”

When he neared
t
he car, he stopped walking and took off his hat
.
His wispy
white
hair
danced
in the warm desert breeze
.
His voice had t
he cadence and easy volume of a true
pulpit master
.

“Child, my Lord i
s all around us,” he replied, gesturing
at the land around him with his hat.

“
He is in the gulley
. He breathes this desert. He lives in those
cliffs
.”
He stooped and picked up a handful of the
orange
dirt
and
let it trickle out of his hand
.
The
dust
cloud trailed in the wind as
it
fell back to the earth.

“He is in the ground beneath my feet.
He revels in your toxic soul.
”

He raised his head and breathed deep.

“He is in the very air that we breathe. Never have I been so far away from him, yet ne
ver have I felt so close.”
His
beak of a nose crinkled at the nostrils as he
peered
at her with a toothy grin
. His
teeth were narrow
and long, with a tremendou
s overbite
.
The combination of nose and mouth
reminded
Cassie
of an
enormous rat’s snout.

“It
. . .
is
. . .
GLORIOUS!” he shouted.

He raised his arms skyward and laughed loud and long
.
Bringing his hands back to his side
, he
nodded
at Cassie.

“
Yes
, child,
you will provide me with
what I need
.” He resumed
a
slow walk until he reached the passenger side door. Cassie
sat
back down in her seat. She was conscious of her actions, but they
were
automated, and not at all what she wanted to do at this moment.

She contemplated putting the car back in gear, and speeding onto the blacktop, leaving him in a cloud of
dull
dust
.
She wanted that dust
to fill
his nostrils and burn his eyes
.
Instead, she reached across and opened his door.

He slid into the car with a quickness that surprised her.
After he had
removed his hat and placed it in his lap, atop the weather-beaten
Bible, he
fla
shed another ugly grin at her
, which
s
he forced herself to return. He smelled like a pile of wet, rotting leaves in the fall.
She felt her stomach tighten
—
adrenaline. It was the same feeling she got when the men in the club got too friendly and put their hands in places where they weren’t welcome. But there was no bouncer here. Just her, alone with him and miles of open road.

Cassie
put her hand on the
gearshift
,
and he placed his long
fingers
over hers. Gooseflesh rippled up her arm. Alarms beat her brain. She wanted to snatch her hand back and run. He moved his hand and folded
it
neatly
atop the other one
in his lap, cradling his hat. She put the car in gear and eased back out onto the highway.

“Take me to her,” he commanded. Not knowing how to respond, she mumbled back.

“I’m Cassie.”

“Yes, you are.” He stared out the side window. After a few moments of silence, he began to sing.

“
Surely the presence
of my
Lord
is in this place
.
I can feel his mighty power
and see his burning face,
” he sang.

Cassie did her best to hide the
tears that fell from her eyes as she sped down the Concho Highway.