On Tenterhooks (56 page)

“
Martin got the worst of it
.
He lost a lot of blood
,
and on top of that, he’s got an infection from that damn cowface. It’s a bad one
,
and no earthly antibiotic is gonna touch it.
I’ve done what I can, but i
t’ll
have to
run its course
.
He’s gonna have bouts of pain and some nasty permanent scars
.
E
ventually, in a few years, he’ll get better
.
Not just good
,
mind you, better than he ever was
.
See
,
the irony of it is that the infection is also gonna boost his immune system and
make him a lot more durable
.
It w
ouldn’t surprise me if
he
started using
his new and improved body
to do real good in this world.
”
 

“And Abby?”

“Ah, Abby,” Biker smiled
.
“My
lil’
visionary
darlin’
. You know what?  That kid is al
l
right
.
She’s smart
,
and she just
gets
stuff, doesn’t she?
Anyway
, yeah, she’s still licking her wounds
,
too
.
She can still see, but she
is
gonna be impaired
.
Not sure she’ll be able to fly a jet plane, bu
t she’ll make it through
.
S
he’s alway
s gonna have those scars
, and she’s
gonna have to be careful with bright light
.
But you know what?  I am bettin’ that she is gonna be able to use that intuition of hers
,
and
with a little focus, I bet she
’ll
become one hell of
a
counselor
someday
.
You might want to keep her close
—
she could come in handy!”

Steve heaved a sigh of relief
.
Despite
Veronica
’s death, hearing that the others would come out intact
lifted
a boulder
off
his
shoulders
. H
e felt confident
that,
in time
,
he could at least come to grips with
Veronica
’s sacrifice
.
If he had lost the others,
he’d be worthless wreckage
.
Their survival meant that
Veronica
’s death
had positive purpose
.
He would never forget that.

“Al
l
right man, I got to scoot boots
. It’s
time for me to ride,” said Biker, standing up from the bed.

“
Wait, o
ne more question.”

“
Yeah man
.”

“What about me? I mean, how come
all I got
was
a couple of cracked ribs
?
Why didn’t I get hurt?
”

“Didn’t get hurt, huh?
Really? How much time did you spend on this little jaunt worrying
about
those two out there in that kitchen, or about
Veronica
? Of all of them
,
Steve, you got the biggest scars to deal with
.
You know what it feels like now to be responsible for other lives, in every single
way
.
You lost your wife and sou
lmate
.
You lost a friend
.
It shook your faith
, but you
got it back again
.
Man, you got a whole heart full of scars.
N
ow you know what it’s
like to deal with doing things right and not always getting a rosy o
utcome
.
On top of all that, by
any measure that matters, you’re successful at
it,
too
.
And you know what they say about
t
he reward for good work?”

“More work,” answered Steve
,
thinking
of Julie’s common catch phrase
.

“Bingo, brother
.
”

“I dunno.
It doesn’t feel
like success
to me.”

“And that’s my point
,
man.
If you were some chump
who thought that this was about braggin’ rights or had just sat back and left it all up to fate, you wouldn’t be here
today
and neither would they,”
Biker
said, gesturing with his thumb
toward
the kitchen.

Steve
wasn’t
convinced
,
and Biker sensed it.

“Look, Steve.
It is a rare
thing
to find someone who has seen both good and evil in its most pure form. You’ve seen both and the results of each. That means you have faith, whether you know it or not
.
However, y
ou also aren’t gonna be le
d around blindly
.
W
e’ve talked all about the dangers in that
and you’ve got the scars to prove it. You, my friend, are what I’d call the ‘optimistic skeptic’
—
a born leader, simple as that.”

“But how am I going stay
on the path to being a
positive
now?
All the things you’ve told us, all the things w
e’ve seen and done here that no one
are
going to understand or believe, even
if we did talk about it
.
N
ow we all know that somehow, someday we’re going to reach this ‘Goodness’ you talk about
.
Isn’t that going to cause us to
second-guess
all our decisions?  How will we know we are on the right path?”

Biker nodded.

“L
ook
,
man.
First, you must cope with your grief
.
Understand it
.
Don’t hide it or forget it
.
Carry it with you, but not as a burden
.
This will take time to heal, but it will heal. I’d say you’re already well on the way on that front.”

It was Steve’s turn to nod.

“Second, don’t
go looking for signs
.
Take the time to reflect on life. Think about your decisions, but
be sure to make them
.
Choosing vanilla over chocolate is not going to affect the outcomes
.
There is a balance of randomness and destiny in life that will always remain with you
.
Life should continue as it is, but you should rely on faith to guide you.”

“You mean
like
we should sta
rt praying or going to church?”

“
No, not religio
n
—
faith.
You don’t have to go to church and sit in a pew to find faith
.
Look into the eyes of a newborn
baby or watch a sunset
.
Listen to children laughing
.
Like when
a dog
licks your palm or when
you can
smell the rain steaming the asphalt on a hot summer day
.
There is God
. . .
there is love, and there is evidence of your faith
.
Live, breathe, love
. . .
the rest will come easily
.
You won’t ever “know” for certain that you are on the right path.
”

Biker touched Steve’s ankle.

“
All of you are touched by the hand of God, but not directed by it
.
God is not going to guide you
directly
or clear your path from natural obstacles that make up the human experience
.
He will be there to listen always, even if he does not provide you with an easy or immediate answer
.
You must live life for yourself
. . .
find faith, embrace it, and use that faith to guide your decisions in life
.
That’s how it’s done!”

Steve
slid to the
edge of the bed
and put his bare feet on the threadbare carpet
on the floor
.
The early morning sunlight was now peeking
through the open window
.
He heard the familiar
birdcalls
from the forest around the house
.
He scrunched his toes into the matted carpet
.

“It’s a lot to take in, huh?” asked Biker, smiling.

“Yeah.
A lot.”

Biker chuckled
.
He grabbed his jacket off the back of
a
chair
in the corner
,
pulled his sunglasses out of
a
pocket and put them on
, and
walked over to Steve, placing a firm hand on his shoulder
, giving it a squeeze.
“Don’t sweat it, Steve.
It’s life,
bro
.
You just have to go out and do it!”

Biker’s hand on his shoulder was reassuring
.
Steve stood up
, gently pressing on his side to contain the pain from his broken ribs
.
“Right,”
he
said Steve, sounding more confident
.
“Right.”

He slid
the
small
box into the front pocket of his dirty jeans
, vowing
to keep her close until they could give her a proper goodbye.

Biker continued to smile
.
He turned and walked for the door
.
“Take care of each other
.
”

When h
e opened the door
to the hallway
,
more sun
light burst in
.
Steve could
hear
Abby and Martin talking
from the kitchen
, and
i
t made
him
feel at home
.
Biker walked
through the den to the front door
.

“Hey Biker!” Steve called, following him
down the hallway
.

“Yeah man?”

“One more thing
—
w
hy me?  I mean, if God doesn’t direct us,
why did they
follow me?  Why did I somehow become the leader
?
  And why do I feel like I need to take care of them and make sure they are safe from now on?”

Biker turned around and faced Steve
.
He let out a long sigh
.
Steve knew from the silence behind him that Abby and Martin were also straining to hear the answer
.
Biker
took off his
sunglasses
,
and his smile
disappeared
.
He
squinted, staring
Steve straight in the eye, holding his attention without a word
.
For
several seconds
, their eyes were locked
—
no words, no blinking, no movement.
Biker
seemed to be struggling to
free up
the right words.