On Solid Ground: Sequel to in Too Deep (22 page)

My phone chimed from a missed call I hadn’t even heard. Proof I was really enjoying my time alone with Yaz’s guitar. I pulled it from my bag and hit the callback button.

“Gracie.”

“Hey, Calon.” I smiled; he didn’t even say hello. That’s when it hit me I’d never called him back after my night with the bottle of SKYY. After our intimate chat on the park bench, he became more of a person than an enigma. It was nice to have him as a friend. And Becki fully enjoyed their time together. According to her, they just talked on the nights he walked her back to her dorm, which surprised me. I’d assumed Calon was just as sexual as Becki. I knew she wasn’t lying. She would have told me if it had gone any further; she loved to brag about sex.

“I’m glad you called back. I hope you don’t mind I called.” I could hear music in the background and assumed Calon was probably never without his own soundtrack.

“I’m so sorry I forgot to call you back, Calon.”

“No, it’s cool. So, the reason I called is... The band is looking for someone fresh to be our opening act at the local shows until we leave to go on tour sometime in the fall.”

A pang hit my stomach when I realized he would only be around a few more months. I had enjoyed every time we spent together, and he had helped me a lot with the positive reinforcement for my writing.

“Oh, well, let me ask around. There are a couple musicians in my building.”

He chuckled, “No, dummy. I’m talking about you. Would
you
consider being our opening act?”

“You’re funny.” I snorted. “I’ll ask around for you.” This was such a different conversation that our last one. I liked not-so-intense Calon.

“Gracie, I’m serious. I can’t stop thinking about the song you showed me, and your voice is—”

“You have
got
to be kidding me. Listen to me, hot rock star. I seriously almost died of embarrassment that night you walked in on me singing at
Mitchell’s
. I only made it through that performance because I didn’t know you were there.”

“You think I’m hot?”

I giggled. “Shut up.”

“Gracie, you’ve got a shitload of talent, but I’m sensing I’m going to have to prove that to you to get you to say yes.”

“Calon, I can’t. I’m not a pro like you. When you’re up there, you are in a completely different place. You’re not at all concerned with not making a mistake or forgetting the words or playing the wrong chords. You just pour it all out.”

“Tell me honestly, have you ever done that? Even when you were alone with your guitar? Just let it all go like you were pouring out your soul?”

That’s what I’d been doing at the park. More than once I remembered feeling like I had left the planet and was on my own. It was one of the most beautiful experiences ever.
Shit.
He had me by the balls. I could lie, but the new, stronger Gracie spoke louder in my mind than the introverted one, and she was curious if I could do it again. I
wanted
to be that secure. The thought terrified me, but intrigued me all at the same time.

“Yes, I have done that, Calon, and it felt freaking incredible, but it was in the park for the squirrels or the living room of my empty apartment. Empty.”

“What if I told you I could teach you to let go enough to do it for a crowd?”

“Can I think about it?” Visions of me sitting at
Mitchell’s
on a stool, paralyzed with fear and drowning in my own sweat, was not a pretty picture.

“Of course you can think about it.”

If I decided to do it, I wasn’t sure how Jake was going to handle the thought of me spending more time with Calon. I wondered if he would flip out all over again. Sylvia said I was supposed to focus on me and let Jake handle his own insecurities. We would definitely need to talk about it before I made a decision, but the longer I actually entertained the thought, the more I wanted to do it. Well, try it, at least.

****

Later that night, as we sat on a bench on campus between iScream and our apartment, I decided to bring up Calon’s proposition and see what Jake’s initial reaction would be.

“So, Calon called me today.”

He raised his brow and nodded as he shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

“Remember his message about a proposition he had for me?”

Jake nodded and filled his mouth with another spoonful. I wondered if it was his way of keeping his mouth shut.

“He wants me to be the opening act for their local shows.” I scanned his face for any discernible unspoken response.

“Wow.” His voice was devoid of emotion. It was neither hot nor cold.

“Completely ridiculous, right?” I turned sideways and faced him so I could pick up on any fear or jealousy that crossed his face.

“I think that’s a pretty big compliment for how impressed he is with your talent. I’m proud of you, Gracie. What do
you
think?” He poked his finger into my bent knee perched against his leg.

“Honestly, at first, I thought he was a stupid loon. Then he asked me if I’d ever played and sung without hesitation. He meant, had I ever just let a song pour out of me with nothing holding me back.”

“You have. I heard it when you were in the shower Monday. Your voice is mesmerizing, Gracie. He’s not a loon. He can sense you’ve got it in you.”

“Okay, stalker, here’s what I was thinking. I can’t even believe I’m going to entertain this thought. I could use practicing with the band as a means to work on my self-confidence and my anxiety of being the center of attention. I doubt I’ll get to the point I could sit on the stage as AT’s opening act, but working through my fears using something I love, sounds promising.”

“You never know. What you have inside you is so beautiful. If you could put that into a song and exude it in a performance, it would be breathtaking. And I could be your groupie.”

I cracked up at the thought of Jake being a screaming fan. “You wouldn’t mind? I mean, it wouldn’t make you uncomfortable? I’d have to spend more time with Calon.”

“Gracie, without Noah holding you down and feeding you lies about what you’re capable of, you could open yourself to a lot of things that seem unexpected, but might be the best thing for you. Releasing all the pent up resentment and anger could be inspirational and healing for you.”

“I was thinking that, too, but please, don’t start referring to me as a
rock star
.” We giggled. “Are you sure, Jake? I don’t want this to be something influencing our relationship. It would be selfish if a choice I made caused stress between us.”

“Gracie, this is
my
thing.
My
hurdle. I’m a big boy. If this will help you heal,
I
would be selfish to stand between you and the opportunity to pour your heart out.”

I texted Calon immediately, before I changed my mind.

Me: I’m in.

Calon: Great! Talk soon.

What the hell was I doing?

Twenty-eight

Jake

I woke up when the sun shining through the blinds had heated the room to a temperature that was no longer comfortable for snuggling. I rolled over and watched Gracie sleep. I hopped out of bed and turned on the ceiling fan, hoping I’d fall back to sleep for a little.

When I climbed back into bed, Gracie squinted up at me before I lay back down. She’d fallen asleep in my lap the night before while we watched a movie, so she just stayed over. It was an innocent thing we used to do even before we were dating, so we knew it wouldn’t put any pressure on us. But when her eyes sprang open, she looked me up and down, and an ornery grin spread across her face.

“You’re hot, Jake Rockwell.”

“There’s something wrong with you.” I ran my fingers through my bad case of bedhead.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She rubbed her eyes.

“I know that look. You’re turned on right now, and I look like hell.” I shook my head. We were in the midst of a strange balancing act. We flirted from time to time, but the boundaries were still in place. I really didn’t want to cross that line until we were both ready.

“That’s not how
I
would describe you right now.”

“Gracie Jordan, I have never been so proud of someone in my entire life.”

“Jake, please—”

“Hear me out. Your heart went through the ringer over the last two years, and your spirit was crushed. I watched it happen. And since walking away from Noah, you’ve reached out for help, made the decision to stand on your own two feet, and invested time into music and writing...something that moves your soul. It’s only the end of June, and you’re more secure and stronger than I’ve seen you in a long time.”

“I can feel it, too, Jake. Stepping out and taking chances while the people you trust most surround you makes those leaps of faith exhilarating, not terrifying.”

“It’s fun to watch, too.”

We lay facing each other. Silence overcame us. I was so proud of how far she’d come in such a short span of time. I had a hard time with things that triggered memories of Noah for me. I couldn’t imagine how smothering it must be for Gracie. Because of her creative nature, she experienced things more fully than most people. She didn’t just feel situations and emotions, she absorbed her surroundings. I couldn’t wrap my brain around how intensely painful all the memories from her relationship with Noah must be for her.

“Jake?”

“Yeah, baby girl?”

“Kiss me again.”

“Gracie—”

“Jake, please. I need to feel you like I did in the kitchen. That kiss has lingered on the tip of my tongue every moment since.”

The way she put her thoughts into words made me nuts. Her explanations of her memories and feelings were the kinds of things you read in books. She had such intriguing ways to describe how things made her feel and what they did to her.

“Gracie, if I kiss you now, it’s going to be hard for us to stop. It’s no secret what we can do in this bed.”

“Jake, I get it. I know. But...I’ve been doing all this soul-searching and finding out new things about parts of me I didn’t know existed. It’s so freeing, and all I keep thinking is, I want to share that with you. It’s intense and all consuming, like a fire you can’t put out. Each time we’re together, I imagine what it would be like if you walked across the room and kissed me with complete abandon. My knees go weak thinking of the attention your lips have shown me. I want to share the depth of feeling I’m experiencing by passing that to you, so you can share it with me.”

“Gracie Ann Jordan, I have no words.”

“Then kiss me.”

When my mouth crashed into hers, a wave of emotion came over me. Kissing Gracie made me feel like I’d been holding my breath my whole life and was finally able to breathe. She rolled her body on top of mine, and my hands tangled in her hair. The tiny sleep shorts she was wearing weren’t long enough to keep the silky skin of her thighs from touching mine. There was no doubt she could feel my body reacting to the passion between us. My erection pressed into her, and the pressure of her body was just enough to send shivers right through me. If she moved her hips, even just a little, I was afraid I would lose it. Who could blame me, though? The most beautiful girl on the planet, who held my heart, was throwing all caution to the wind and climbing inside my soul, where her home was.

“Gracie...” I was breathless, afraid we were moving too fast.

“Jake, don’t stop, please. Please, Jake.” She slid her body across mine and over to the bed, rolling me on top of her. Her legs wrapped around mine, our throbbing centers against each other. A moan slipped from my mouth and filled hers. I trailed kisses down her neck and to her collarbone. She lifted her hips. My body reacted before I could think, and I ground my hips against her. She called out my name...then pushed me off of her.

“Gracie, I’m sorry. I’m so—” I gasped for breath.

She shook her head. “Jake, don’t be sorry. I feel it, too. I just had to stop before we both lost control. My body craves yours, but if we went any further, I wouldn’t be able to pull away from you, and I think I need a little more time.”

I threw myself onto my back and concentrated on steady breathing...and baseball. “Oh, Gracie, you have no idea what you do to me.”

“Well, you may want to go take a cold shower, there, hot stuff.” She motioned with her hand toward the bulge in my shorts. I suddenly felt very exposed, which caused her to erupt into a fit of giggles.

She was right. I did need a cold shower, and she needed to go practice so she could show Yaz as much of her new song as she could. I assumed that song was what I heard her singing in the shower. I had to distract myself. I certainly couldn’t reroute my blood flow if I was in the shower thinking of Gracie being in the shower. I stepped into the cold stream of water and a moment later dropped the bottle of shampoo on my foot. When bent over to pick it up, I whacked my head on the tile wall. Pain. Throbbing pain. There was my distraction.

I called Maverick as I left the building. “Dude, you wanna go for a run?”

“Sure. Give me ten minutes.”

“Okay, I’ll run to you.”

With Sam away, I craved guy time. I met up with Maverick outside his place and we took off. There was a paved running trail that went around the entire perimeter of the campus.

“So, what’s up with you and Gracie?”

“Long story short, Noah wrecked her, then we fell in love...”

“You and Noah? Dude, I never pictured the two of you together.”

“Smart ass. Me and Gracie.”

“Well, good, because her ass is way hotter than his.”

I pushed him for all I was worth. It was no secret that Gracie had a beautiful backside; we all used to watch her dance, and man, she had our minds in knots at parties as we tried to turn off the play-by-play of what she could do with those hips.

“So, you are or aren’t with her?”

“She decided, in order to heal and get herself back on her own two feet; she needed to be single for a while.”

“I saw her with that Calon guy from Alternate Tragedy a couple times around campus and downtown. You sure she’s not playing his instrument on the side?” He laughed, proud of the pun he’d made, but I didn’t need that visual in my mind, and it pissed me off.