On Shadow Beach (13 page)

She had been happy that year. She’d been falling in love with Shane, and she’d spent less and less time at home. Was she wrong to blame her father for not knowing her dreams? Had she even tried to share them with him? Or had she just gotten so used to his disinterest that she’d given up?

“Your mother gave me hell for putting that money in Abby’s account,” her father continued. “It was one more reason for her to hate me.”

“So Mom didn’t know about the money until later?” It was nice to know that her mother hadn’t been conspiring behind her back.

“No. She liked to keep her eye on the money, along with everything else in the house,” he grumbled.

“Were you and Mom happy together, before Abby died?” Lauren asked, wondering what else she didn’t know. “Mom always said that Abby’s death killed the marriage, but it sounds like you had some issues.”

“Every marriage has problems, but I thought things were good. Life was busy. We had three kids. My business took up a lot of time that your mother didn’t always appreciate. I don’t know. I suppose we both could have done some things differently. No one is perfect.”

“That’s true.” Lauren settled back against the cushions. “So how are you feeling tonight? Do you
want some dinner?”

“I had stew at the café with Mort. You know, Mort, Rita, and your mom and I were quite a foursome back in the day. We’d barbecue every weekend, go out on the boat, spend Christmas Eve at each other’s houses. You and Leslie were good friends for a long time, and Rita and your mother loved to quilt together. I bet your mother doesn’t quilt anymore, does she?”

Lauren was sure her mother had left her needle and thread in Angel’s Bay, along with everything else. “She’s into wine tasting. She lives near a couple of vineyards.”

“She used to like beer.” His lips tightened. “I guess she couldn’t allow herself to like anything that she cared about before she left.”

Lauren saw sadness in his eyes, as well as anger. She’d always been on her mother’s side in the divorce; she’d never considered her father’s point of view. Maybe she hadn’t been completely fair. But when only one person spoke, it was difficult to understand the other side of the argument.

Her father picked up the newspaper in his lap and handed it over to her. “You might want to take a look at this.”

“What is it?”

“Some gold coins from the
Gabriella
washed ashore yesterday on Refuge Beach. The ship’s bell was discovered three months ago, and now these coins. I think that wreck may finally be ready to show itself.”

Lauren skimmed through the article. The ship had been sailing south from San Francisco filled with what was rumored to be Gold Rush spoils, when it had gone down in a ferocious storm in 1850. After several bodies and the initial items of the wreck washed ashore, nothing was ever seen again. Treasure hunters speculated that the
Gabriella
was hidden in one of the deep underground canyons off the central coast, which were only revealed during certain tidal conditions, but to this day no one had been able to find the wreck.

“I’d love to see that ship raised,” Ned said with a sparkle in his eyes. “I wonder what story it would tell—if we’d finally know what happened to the crew, the passengers, and the gold.”

“Don’t we already know most of it?” she asked, setting the paper aside. “I remember when you used to read to me from Leonora’s diary. It was such a romantically tragic story.”

“It was. She and Tommy met when they were kids, but Leonora was promised to another man. She married Clark Jamison, they had a son, Jeremy, and a few years later, Clark died. Then Tommy suddenly reappeared. He sailed into San Francisco, the captain of the
Gabriella,
and when he saw Leonora on the docks, he was amazed and struck by her beauty, just as he’d been at sixteen. It had been twenty years since they’d seen each other but Leonora said it felt like only a few minutes.”

The phrase hit home. Lauren had thought the same thing when she’d seen Shane again after thirteen
years.

“Tommy was a widower, too,” her father continued. “His daughter was living in San Diego with his mother while he was away at sea. He had to sail the
Gabriella
back down the coast, and he asked Leonora and Jeremy to go with him. They married the night before the ship sailed south. They only had a short time together before the storm hit and the
Gabriella
broke apart. The ship had taken on more than its normal number of passengers, because people were leaving the Gold Rush by them, and there weren’t enough lifeboats. Leonora wanted Tommy to come with her and Jeremy on the lifeboat, but he was the captain. He would be the last to go.” Her father paused, his eyes distant, as if he could almost see that moment in his mind. “That was the last time Leonora saw Tommy, and his body never washed ashore.”

“And Leonora made a life for herself and Jeremy here in Angel’s Bay. And that’s where our family started,” Lauren finished.

“First love is a powerful thing. It’s hard to get over,” her father said.

“Mom was your first love, wasn’t she?”

“Oh, yes. She came to visit her cousin one summer, and we fell instantly in love. We got married after four months. It was probably too fast. I was ten years older than her and should have given her more time to grow up. But I wanted her, and at the time she wanted me.”

“I wish you had fought harder to stay together after Abby died,” Lauren said quietly. “I know Mom
tried to comfort you, but you wouldn’t let any of us in. You shut down emotionally. You went out to sea for days at a time. Every night that you weren’t here, Mom would cry herself to sleep. I couldn’t stand the sound of her sobs.” She drew in a shaky breath. “You think Mom ran away with me and David, but you left
us
first.”

The bleakness in her father’s eyes reminded her of how he’d looked in the weeks after Abby’s death. “I didn’t know what to do back then—how to handle things. I tried to talk to your mother, but she wouldn’t let me speak of Abby. All she wanted to do was throw things away. Every time I left to go to work, I was afraid I’d come back and discover that your mother had erased Abby’s life from the house. And when your mother announced she was leaving, there was no discussion. She didn’t ask me to go with her, with you and David.”

“You shouldn’t have waited for her to ask. You should have insisted that we all stay together, either here in Angel’s Bay or somewhere else. We were a family, Dad. Even with Abby gone, we were still a family. Why didn’t you fight for us?”

He swallowed hard. “I knew you’d go with your mother. You were always her champion. And David was too young to be without her.”

“You should have come with us.”

“I couldn’t leave Angel’s Bay. I couldn’t leave Abby behind.”

“But you had two other children who still needed
you.”

“You weren’t alone,” he argued. “You had your mother and David. The three of you had each other.”

“We didn’t have
you.”
She blinked back an unexpected tear. “You were my hero when I was a little girl. I loved you. I needed you. When we left, I cried all the way up the coast.” She wiped her eyes. “I would have been your champion, too, if you’d given me a chance.”

Her father stared down at the carpet. The minutes ticked away. Finally, he lifted his head. “I’m sorry, Lauren.”

She’d wanted to hear the words for a long time. Now that she had, it didn’t change anything. It didn’t make up for the fact that she’d lost her father at the same time she’d lost her sister.

“I never meant to hurt you and David,” he continued. “I couldn’t leave, and your mother couldn’t stay. Part of the reason I didn’t fight to keep you here was because I wasn’t sure I could be a good father anymore. I hadn’t protected Abby, kept her safe. I thought you were better off with your mom.”

“You should have found out if I was better off. At the very least, you should have come to visit, written me letters, and called. But you didn’t do any of those, except for a few holidays and birthdays.”

“You’re right. I could have done better.” He paused, his gaze direct and clear. “So what do you want from me now?”

That was the toughest question he’d ever asked
her. What
did
she want? She wanted her family to be the way it was. She wanted Abby to be alive. She wanted to turn back the clock. But none of that was possible.

“I want you to be happy, and I want you to be safe,” she said. “If you won’t come to San Francisco with me, then what’s your plan?”

“I’m not your problem, Lauren.”

“I can’t just close my eyes to your medical condition. You’re my father. I’m your daughter. That’s the way it is. So let’s figure something out.”

“I do understand that my brain is shutting down,” he said slowly. “It scares me, not always knowing what I’m doing. Sometimes I wind up places and I don’t understand how I got there.”

She was shocked to hear his admission. He’d been brushing his illness aside since she’d arrived.

“But here in Angel’s Bay, I have landmarks,” he said. “I know where I am, and I can find my way home. I couldn’t move to a strange city; I need things to be familiar.”

His fear tugged at her heart. “All right, Dad. So how can we make it work? What if I hired someone to move into this house with you?”

“I couldn’t live with a stranger.”

“What about someone who comes in during the day, cleans up and makes sure you have food?”

“I guess I could use a little help, but I don’t have much money.”

“I can help pay for it.”

“You got a lot of money, do you?” he asked with
a quirk of his eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t call it a lot, but I’ll share what I have.”

He tilted his head, giving her a thoughtful look. “Why would you want to? I think we just established I’m a rotten father. I don’t want to be your duty.”

“I don’t want you to be, either, but you are.”

“Well, at least you’re honest.”

“It’s time for that, don’t you think?”

“If you want to know what I
really
think—I think you should move back here. We haven’t had a bakery in town since Martha retired two years ago. Sam at the café makes some cookies and pies, but that’s about it. And the supermarket brings in prepackaged sweets from who knows where. Angel’s Bay could use a good bakery. You could open one, the way you always said you would.”

She was shocked by his suggestion, especially since it appeared he’d actually thought about it. And he was right. Opening a bakery had been her dream once, but not anymore. “I don’t want the same things now. I’ve moved on.”

“Move back.”

“No.”

“It could be good for you.”

“It wouldn’t be.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I do,” she said in frustration, feeling as if she’d just gotten on a runaway train. Her father had never cared about what she was doing. The fact that he did now was unsettling.

“Just think about it,” he said. “Spend the week here, get reacquainted. You might discover something.”

“Like what?”

He smiled. “That there’s no place like home.”

Shane had grown up in a two-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac in one of the older neighborhoods of Angel’s Bay. With five kids in the family as well as an assortment of pets, home had never been a quiet place. Tonight was no exception. As he parked his motorcycle at the curb, he could see a crowd of people in the living room. His mother had gone all out for his father’s sixty-fifth birthday.

It was strange to think that his father and Ned Jamison were almost the same age, yet there was a world of difference in the state of their health. John Murray was a robust man with a healthy appetite, a few extra pounds of girth, a hearty laugh, and an energetic spirit. He’d always had a personality that was bigger than life. Shane had been close to his father in childhood, but high school had been a different matter.

He got off his motorcycle as his sister Kara parked her car in front of the house. She got out with an exaggerated groan, weighted down not only by her very pregnant belly but also by an enormous gift.

He walked over to take it from her. “What’s this? Trying to outshine me?”

“Would that be difficult? Your hands appear to be empty.”

He grinned. “Can I put my name on this present?”

“You certainly can—if you want to cough up forty bucks.”

“You bought him an eighty-dollar present? Very generous. What is it?”

“It’s a new radio. And it wasn’t eighty, it was a hundred and twenty. Dee and I bought it together, but I’m happy to take your money and call it thirds. I’m also happy you’re here. I didn’t think you were coming.”

“It
is
the old man’s birthday,” he said.

“And you’ve missed the last twelve. So why are you standing out here? Are you worried about all the Lauren and Abby questions?”

“Among other things.”

Kara gave him a speculative look. “What is up with you and our parents? You’re all very polite, but there’s an underlying tension. I thought maybe it was because you were gone for so long and it was awkward being back, but you’ve been home for a while now.”

“Everything is fine,” he assured her. “Don’t worry about me.”

She glanced at the house. “I don’t really want to go in, either. It’s bad enough that my baby shower is tomorrow. Now I have to face everyone twice. It’s not the questions I mind, it’s the looks—the pitying,
sad, she’s living in a world of denial looks.” She turned back to him. “I know that’s what people think. I’m not stupid.”

“No one said you were.”

“Oh, they do behind my back. But they’ll see—they’ll see when Colin wakes up.” She sighed. “Well, the sooner we go inside, the sooner we can leave.” She threw back her shoulders and headed down the path.

They were greeted with hugs and kisses by family and friends. Shane escaped as quickly as possible, putting the present on a side table, then heading to the kitchen where the bar had been set up. He poured himself a shot of Jack Daniel’s and downed it in one gulp. Although he liked being back in Angel’s Bay, being in this house was another story. Every time he walked through the door, he was hit by a blast of painful memories.

He could still remember the day when his life had changed. He’d been fifteen. He’d come home early from football practice with a sprained knee. He’d hobbled into the kitchen to grab an ice pack and overheard a very disturbing conversation.