On Lone Star Trail (35 page)

TJ waited until they could no longer hear Pete's truck, then turned to Gillian. “I'm going to find cell service and call Natalie.”

Though she'd said nothing when Pete left without saying a word to her, Brianna burst from the bathroom, still buttoning her shirt as she shook her head violently. “No! You can't tell my mom.”

Gillian put her arms around the girl, trying to soothe her. “She already knows,” she said quietly. “You left her a note, remember?” As Gillian stroked Brianna's back, comforting her as she would have a child, she nodded to TJ. Brianna might not want to face Natalie, but whether she recognized it or not, she needed her mother.

Hanging her head in shame, Brianna nodded. “She wasn't supposed to find the note until later. After we were married.” New tears joined the ones that had dried on her cheeks. “He promised me, Gillian. He promised we'd get married. He said it was too late to get a license today, so we'd have a weekend honeymoon, then get married first thing on Monday.”

Knowing there was no point in mentioning the three-day waiting period or the need for Natalie's permission, Gillian simply nodded and continued stroking Brianna's back.

“I was such a fool.” Brianna's tears had resumed in earnest. “I believed him. I thought he loved me, but he didn't.”

There was nothing she could say to refute that. Instead, Gillian cupped Brianna's chin and forced her to look at her. “Your mom loves you. I know she does.”

“Yeah.” The thought seemed to comfort Brianna. “But what
am I gonna say to her? She was right. I shouldn't have trusted Pete.”

“You've learned from your mistake. That's all anyone can ask.”

Before Gillian could say anything more, the sound of a motorcycle announced TJ's return. He sprinted into the cabin. “Natalie's on her way, but it'll be half an hour or so.”

Half an hour for Brianna to cry and worry. Desperate for something to take the girl's mind off the way she'd been deceived, Gillian rubbed her stomach. “Let's see what we can find to eat. Brianna, will you look in the cupboards?”

When TJ raised an eyebrow, Gillian simply nodded, mouthing, “Trust me.”

“Not exactly a feast,” Brianna said a minute later as she held up a jar of instant coffee, an unopened sleeve of crackers, and a fresh jar of peanut butter.

“It'll do.” Boiling water and spreading peanut butter didn't require much effort, but it was the only distraction Gillian could find for Brianna.

“I might have something in my saddlebags,” TJ offered. Returning a minute later, he held out some beef jerky and two energy bars as if they were shrimp and lobster.

“You call that food?” Brianna demanded. “When I get home, my mom will make me a big steak and a baked potato.”

Gillian suspected Natalie would give Brianna anything she wanted, at least tonight. In the meantime, she laid three paper towels on the table and pulled three more to serve as napkins. “Let's eat.” Turning to TJ, she asked him to give thanks. And he did, thanking the Lord not just for the food but also for Brianna's safety.

The simple act of sitting at a table, eating crackers and sipping coffee, seemed to restore enough normalcy to Brianna's life that her shoulders no longer shook, and her eyes lost their glazed look.

In less time than she'd expected, Gillian heard a vehicle. Natalie must have broken every speed limit to get here this quickly, and Gillian couldn't blame her. She'd have done the same had she been in Natalie's position.

Brianna started to rise, then sank back in her chair, as if her legs would not support her. Her eyebrows rose when she heard not one but two doors slam. Natalie was not alone. Perhaps the store manager had insisted on driving. But seconds later, Brianna's mother ran into the cabin, followed by Todd.

Gillian looked at the new arrivals, not sure who seemed more upset, but Brianna had eyes only for her mother. As Natalie opened her arms, she rose so quickly that the chair toppled over. “Oh, Mom, I'm sorry,” Brianna cried as she wrapped her arms around her mother's waist and began to sob. “You were right. Pete didn't love me.”

Natalie stroked her head, her eyes glistening with tears as she looked at Gillian for a second, telegraphing her gratitude. “It's okay, honey. I love you. Nothing you can do will change that. I just wish you hadn't had to learn about Pete this way. You had me mighty worried.” Natalie's gaze turned to Todd. “You also caused this young man a lot of worry. He would have ridden his bicycle all the way out here if I hadn't agreed to let him come with me.”

Brianna turned a tear-stained face toward Todd, hope mingling with disbelief. “You still want to see me, even after all I did?”

Todd shrugged. “We need to talk.”

It might not have been the response Brianna wanted, but it was a beginning.

T
hat was a close call,” TJ said as he closed the cabin door behind him and Gillian. Relief and a sense of rightness filled him. The relief was understandable. He and Gillian had arrived in time to save Brianna from Pete and the love nest. Love nest! TJ shook his head at the term. Love had nothing to do with it. The men should have called it their lust nest.

The sense of the rightness surprised him, and yet he could not ignore how right it felt that he and Gillian had worked together in the rescue. They had been partners, and as was true in the best partnerships, they'd accomplished more than they would have alone. They'd protected Brianna and, unless TJ was mistaken, they'd helped mend the girl's relationship with her mother and Todd. Without a doubt, it had been a good couple hours' work.

Gillian nodded slowly. “I can't begin to thank you for all you did.”

“It wasn't what
I
did,” TJ said, wanting her to understand the depth of the feelings that had swept through him. “We did it together. You were pretty amazing back there, keeping Brianna as calm as you did.”

“Me, amazing?” Though she'd been walking steadily toward
the motorcycle, Gillian stopped and looked up, her eyes filled with tears, her hands shaking almost as much as Brianna's had. “Look at me,” she said, holding her hands in front of her. “I can't remember the last time I was so scared. All I could think about was getting there before Pete had a chance to . . .” Gillian's voice faded, her reluctance to pronounce the words obvious. She stared at her hands. “You'd think I'd be relaxed now that it's over.”

“That's normal.” TJ wrapped his arm around her waist and drew her close to him, hoping his warmth would soothe her. Whether or not she wanted to admit it, Gillian had been through a traumatic situation, and while TJ had emerged feeling victorious, she had not. “You did a great job, Gillian. No one could have done better.” She looked dubious, and her hands continued to tremble. “There's nothing wrong with the way you're feeling,” he assured her. “You had another adrenaline overload, and now you're crashing.”

Gillian's eyes widened and she flinched. “Crashing, huh? Don't use that word when I still have to get back on your motorcycle.” Her attempt to laugh failed.

“I'm sorry.” He'd spoken without thinking, but though he wished he could retract the word, he could not. It was time for damage control. “Do you want to wait a bit?”

“No.” Gillian's reply was more emphatic than he'd expected. “The sooner I leave here, the better.”

“Then let's go. This place is a dump.” TJ shared her opinion of the cabin. There was no reason to linger in such a tawdry spot. To TJ's relief, Gillian appeared to relax, and her voice had lost its tremors as she said, “I can't believe how calm you were when Pete pointed that shotgun at you. I know good guys are supposed to rescue damsels in distress, but I've never seen anyone actually do it. You were amazing, TJ.”

“I'm glad you put me in the good guy category.” That Gillian regarded him as amazing made TJ want to grin. The truth was, he wanted her to view him as more than a good guy. This afternoon
had confirmed his belief that Gillian was the woman with whom he wanted to share the rest of his life. She was the perfect partner—a woman he could love and cherish, a woman whose strength would fortify him, a woman who would fill each day with joy.

TJ couldn't see himself as the perfect man for her—he was far from perfect, and he still didn't have his future all sewn up—but he couldn't go another day without telling Gillian how much he loved her. As much as he wanted to share his love with her, this was neither the time nor the place.

Though she had no way of reading his thoughts, Gillian laid her hand on the side of his cheek and smiled. “Of course you're a good guy. There was never any doubt about that.”

TJ stayed well within the speed limit as they returned to Rainbow's End. There was no need to rush, and he wanted to savor every minute with Gillian. If he had his way, they'd never stop. They'd ride off into the sunset like in those mushy movies his mother used to watch. Perhaps he and Gillian would go to Big Bend. Perhaps to the Gulf Coast and Padre Island. They might even head north so she could show him Lake Erie and Niagara Falls. He didn't care where they went as long as Gillian was his companion.

Though they'd talked on the way to the cabin, exchanging terse comments about what they might find once they arrived, neither of them spoke on the return trip. TJ felt no need for conversation. It was enough to have Gillian's arms around his waist, her face so close to his back that he could feel the warmth of her breath each time she exhaled. Her breathing was slow and even now, proof that the adrenaline rush had subsided along with her fear. That was one more reason to give thanks.

When they arrived at Rainbow's End and he helped her off the bike, TJ glanced at his watch. “Looks like we missed dinner. Do you want to go to the Sit ‘n' Sip? We don't have to rush.”

Though she often had dates with Mike, Gillian had said nothing about this week, leading TJ to believe she had no plans
for the evening. Perhaps he could convince her to go back to Paintbrush Island. It was a pretty spot, and they'd have no interruptions. Yes, the island would be an ideal place to tell Gillian all that was in his heart.

Anticipation rushed through TJ as she unstrapped her helmet and handed it to him. Though he'd hoped for a smile, Gillian's expression was solemn. “I wish I could, but there's something I need to do.” She paused before adding, “Somewhere I have to go.”

“Can I help?”

Gillian shook her head. “It's something only I can do.”

Though she said nothing more, TJ knew exactly where Gillian was going.

Gillian gazed into the mirror one last time, hoping that all that had happened tonight wasn't visible. Fortunately, though she felt different, her face didn't betray her.

Mike had sounded surprised when she'd called, saying she needed to see him, but he'd assured her that he had time for her. “Always,” he'd said. But there was no always. There was only tonight.

Gillian slipped into white capris, then buttoned the navy and white shirt. Though the red Stetson would be the perfect finishing touch, she would not wear that. Instead, she laid it carefully on the passenger seat. It was time to go.

Less than half an hour later, she pulled into Mike's driveway. Even before she'd switched off the ignition, he opened the front door and hurried to help her out of the car.

“You look great,” he said, his eyes moving slowly from the top of her head to her toes. “You're even more beautiful than usual, if that's possible.” Though he leaned forward, as if to kiss her, something in her expression must have stopped him, because he pulled back.

“Thanks.” Gillian wasn't certain whether she was thanking him for the compliment or the lack of a kiss. The truth was, she was grateful for both. She saw Mike's puzzled look when she carried the Stetson into his condo and laid it on the console table just inside the door. Though she knew he would never ask her to return it, Gillian did not feel right keeping something so closely associated with the Tarkett family.

“Can I get you some iced tea or a soda?” he asked. That was Mike: the perfect host.

“No thanks. I hope I didn't interrupt something important.” Even to her ears, the words sounded stilted. She'd known this would be difficult, but she hadn't expected it to be quite so hard. This was Mike, her friend, one of the nicest men she knew. Gillian hated knowing she was going to hurt a very good man.

“There's nothing more important than you.” Mike touched the small of her back in what might have been designed as a comforting gesture, then let his hand fall away. “Now, tell me what I can do to make you less nervous.” He led the way into the living room and gestured toward the sofa.

Gillian took a seat on one end, waiting until he'd settled next to her before she spoke. “I'm sorry. I didn't realize it would be so obvious. Something happened today.” When she saw the curiosity in his eyes, she shook her head. “What it was doesn't matter. What's important is that it made everything clear to me. Oh, Mike.” Though she wanted nothing more than to clench them, Gillian forced her hands to relax. “I wish there were an easy way to say this, but . . .”

“You've made your decision.” He completed the sentence.

“I have.” Gillian turned so she was facing him directly. “I love you, Mike, but I realized that I love you as a friend or a brother, not a husband.”

She wouldn't tell him that this morning she had thought she was ready to accept his proposal. Saying that would be cruel,
and the last thing she wanted was to cause this wonderful man any more pain.

“I wish it were otherwise, but I can't marry you. You deserve a wife who'll love you with her whole heart. I'm not that woman.”

Mike's eyes clouded with pain, and she saw his lips tighten. “I wish I could say I was surprised, but when you called, I was afraid this was the reason.” He reached for her left hand, stroking her ring finger as if he were placing a ring on it. “I love you, Gillian. I'm not sure there will ever be another woman for me.”

“Yes, there will. You'll find her, and when you do, you'll realize that what you felt for me was only the prelude. She'll be the full symphony.”

Mike wrinkled his nose at her musical analogy. “If you're trying to make me laugh, you almost succeeded. Almost.” He clasped her hand between both of his. “While I waited for you, I tried to imagine what I could do to make you change your mind if you said you wouldn't marry me. I had all kinds of crazy schemes, but I know they would be wrong.”

Though he'd been looking at her, Mike's gaze dropped to the floor, and Gillian saw him swallow deeply, as if he were trying to control his emotions. But though he gave no other outward sign, Gillian knew he was hurting inside. She wished—oh, how she wished—she hadn't been the one to inflict those wounds.

Mike tightened the grip on her hand. “I wish there were something I could do, but I know you wouldn't be happy with me when you love someone else.”

“How did you guess?”

Mike shrugged. “I tried to tell myself I was mistaken, but it's written on your face when you talk about him. All I can say is that I hope TJ knows how lucky he is.”

Mike rose and tugged Gillian to her feet. “It's time for you to go back to Rainbow's End and the man you love, but before you go, will you give me a good-bye kiss?”

Without hesitation, Gillian moved into his open arms and
raised her face. The kiss was short and sweet, a reminder of the good times they'd shared, of the future that might have been theirs. When it ended, Gillian knew she had done the right thing. Though she'd never forget Mike, he was not the man God had planned for her.

Half an hour later, she mustered every ounce of courage she possessed and knocked on the door to TJ's cabin.

He swung it open, his eyes widening in something that looked like surprise. “I didn't expect to see you tonight.” His voice was rough, as if he was having trouble forming the words. “If you came for my congratulations, you've got them. Mike is a great guy.”

There was no disguising the pain in either TJ's voice or his eyes, and that pain set Gillian's heart to pounding. If the thought of her marrying another man hurt that much, it must mean TJ cared. And if he cared, perhaps her dream had a chance of coming true.

She had thought he would invite her into the cabin or at least come out to be with her, but instead he stood inside the doorway, leaving her standing on the porch. Though this wasn't the way she had pictured the scene, Gillian wouldn't back away. Not now, not when she was so close to knowing whether she would find the happily-ever-after she'd dreamt of for so long.

“You're right,” she said firmly. “Mike is a great guy, but he's not the man I love or the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.”