On His Turf (22 page)

“I just want to talk, baby girl,” he says in a soothing voice. “Crystal’s not coming in again. Crying on the phone about her boyfriend or some shit. I need you to go on.”

“What’s the point?” I snap back as I survey the room again. “There are only a half a dozen people in here so I won’t make anything in tips.”

“I’ll give you a hundred dollars,” he quickly offers and I do a mental calculation in my head of what I need to make to pay the last round of my mother’s bills.

“Make it two hundred for two songs and you have a deal,” I negotiate.

“Nah, baby girl, for that price I need three songs.”

I begrudgingly agree and head over to let Matty know but when I tell him he just shakes his head. “It’s a bad idea, Carm, I can feel it in the air. Something’s not right.”

“Well unless your hunch is going to pay my rent I don’t want to hear about it,” I yell at him but he doesn’t even flinch.

“Don’t make this about money. If you don’t want to do it then don’t do it,” he says flatly.

“It’s always about money, Matthew. You and I both know that.” This time when I use his full name he does flinch but I don’t stick around to hear any more of his lecturing. For a guy that partied his ass off the last ten years of his life doing things that most people only read about he’s sure being judgmental tonight.

I open my locker backstage and take out the ice blue thong and push up bra set that matches my eyes perfectly. I only have two outfits that I leave here and this is my favorite one. I change into the lingerie and slip on a pair of strappy silver heels before taking my place behind the curtain. I’ve picked Ginuwines ‘Pony’ as my first song which is about as clichéd as you can get for a strip bar but it’s a lot of fun to dance to so I don’t care. I pull back the curtain and listen as the DJ gives my introduction.

“Ladies and gentleman let’s welcome the lovely Carmen to the stage!” He uses a stage name for me and I’m thankful for it as I step forward through the curtains. The music starts up and I do a lap of the stage before grabbing on to the brass pole in the middle. I lift myself up and flip over into a handstand before righting myself and spinning around the pole. All of the work at the gym I’ve been doing has given me enough muscle to try out some of the harder moves the regular girls showed me. I try one out now, doing an upside down windmill before sliding to the ground in the splits. I’m getting decent applause and some whistles from the few people in here. I crawl to the edge of the stage to accept a few tips into the waistband of my panties. I slowly get to my feet and walk back to the pole where I run my body up and down it before executing a reverse spin. This time the round of applause is louder and before I know it the next song has switched on. That means it’s time for me to lose the top so I take a deep breath and release the front clasp on the push up bra.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror behind the bar as I take my breasts into my hands and work my hips in circles. Unfortunately this vantage point also gives me a clear view of the front door so I see him come in before he sees me. Despite the dim lights I recognize his face instantly and I gasp and bite down on my lip hard. He’s with a few guys from the team, one of whom is Marco, and they are joking around and slapping each other on the back. Marco leads the way to the front row of seats and I feel the bile roll up and settle in the back of my throat. It is Marco who notices me first and his eyes widen in surprise. I stop dancing and slap my hand over my mouth to keep myself from being sick all over the stage.

“Mitchell!” Marco calls to him and Shane’s head whips around as his eyes latch on me. It seems to take him a few seconds to process what he is seeing and in that space of time his expression changes from shock, to disbelief to pure, unadulterated fury. And as if things couldn’t get any worse Marco looks me up and down like I’m on the menu and lets out a low whistle. “Damn Mitchell, you are a lucky man.”

Shane nostrils flare and he raises a fist to hit him but at the last minute he seems to change his mind. Instead he rushes over to the stage and I let out a yelp as he grabs me and throws me over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold. The bouncer named Sledge is at our side in an instant and placing one of his big, meaty hands on Shane’s arm. Shane digs his free hand into his pocket and produces a wad of cash which he hands over to Sledge.

“You know who I am?” he asks and the baby-faced Sledge nods reluctantly.

“Look man, I’m already on probation so I can’t get into a fight. And if I don’t get my girl off of this stage right now there’s going to be one, you get me?”

Sledge just stares at him as he continues. “Keep the money for yourself or buy everyone in the place a round, I don’t give a shit. Either way I’m taking this one with me.” Shane’s tone leaves no room for argument but Sledge doesn’t respond right away as the two of them lock into some kind of staring contest. The other patrons boo at the interruption except for Shane’s teammates who are just standing there open-mouthed. Sledge seems to finally accept his offer because before I know it he’s backed off and Shane is carrying me down the hall into the staff area.

“Put me down!” I shout and he slaps my ass in response. He walks us backstage and slams the door behind him before setting me down.

“How long, Carmelina?” he says in a voice that’s barely restrained.

“What does it matter?” I ask, wiping away the tears that are falling off my nose.

“HOW LONG?” he thunders.

“I started here about four years ago,” I whisper.

“Four years?” Four fucking years?” he screams and I’m trembling all over because I’ve never seen him this mad before. His expression is murderous.

“Why?” he barks at me.

“Why?” I challenge as my indignation starts to override my fear. “I have bills to pay that’s why! Do you even know what the student loans on a four year degree are Mr. Scholarship? Add to that paying the rent, utilities, and cable on two places, groceries and car insurance? There is no way I could do it on minimum wage and I make barely more than that at the paper.” After I finish my speech I find that my legs are shaking so hard that I have to slide down to the floor. “I really am a waitress here. Rick just asks me to help out once in a while. I told him no lap dances or VIP.”

When I say ‘lap dances’ he inhales a breath and closes his eyes. “Rick better not be here tonight because I plan on breaking all ten of his fingers.”

“Don’t be an idiot! It’s his job!”

“That’s rich - you are telling me not to be an idiot?” he laughs humorlessly. “What about you Miss ‘serious journalist’? Do you really think this is going to help your career?” He says and the sarcasm in his voice is impossible to miss.

“I’m in print journalism, Shane. I use a fake name and like I said it’s only once in a while.”

“This stops now,” he says firmly.

“You don’t run my life. You can’t tell me what to do.”

“The fuck I can’t. No one sees you naked but me,” he snarls.

“It’s not naked - it’s only topless,” I try to explain but he cuts me off.

“NO ONE!” he roars, standing over me. “Are we clear?”

I turn my head away from him when he asks and cross my arms over my bare chest but I make no move to get up. He looks at me then, really looks at me, as his eyes skim over my body.

“Half of my team saw your tits tonight,” he says more to himself than to me and when I don’t answer he punches one of the lockers behind my head. He leaves a huge dent in it but it doesn’t seem to be enough because he punches at it again and again while screaming, “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

I scramble to my feet to try and stop him. “Your hands,” I say, stepping between him and the lockers and taking his bloodied fist in mine. He pulls his hand away from me but at least I manage to stop him from hurting himself any more. He’s breathing heavily and staring at the ground so I take the opportunity to quickly grab a blanket from the back of the sofa to wrap around myself. The door opens and Matty comes rushing in with his eyes trained on me.

“You okay, Carm?” he asks and I notice how his jaw clenches when he takes in the damaged locker. Before I can respond Shane stalks over and gets in his face.

“You. I expected more from you. How could you let her do this?”

“To be honest with you I’ve never liked it but Carmelina is a big girl and big girls get to make their own decisions,” Matty replies, balling his hands into fists.

“You should have protected her!” Shane shouts.

“I’ve protected her for a lot longer than you have, jockstrap!” Matty snaps back.

“You two are so fucking co-dependent that it’s not even funny. I’m out of here,” Shane laughs bitterly. He gives me one last searing look before stalking out of the room and slamming the door.

Chapter 19

Matty doesn’t speak at first as he hands me my clothes to slip into. I pull on my jeans and a blue cotton t-shirt but I when I lean over to do up my sandals my hands are shaking so badly that I can’t manage.

“I’m sorry, Carm,” Matty says as he kneels down to help me fasten the tiny silver buckles. The sweet gesture makes me cry even harder and the next thing I know he’s pulling me into his arms.

“You were right - it all blew up in my face,” I say, between heaving sobs. “You can say I told you so.”

“You know I’d never do that, honey.” He says, taking my hands in his and kissing each of my knuckles.

“I know.” I heave in a shaky breath. “I guess it had to end sometime,” I say. I don’t know what reaction I expected from Shane but I think I had deluded myself into believe that we could work through it. Now that he’s gone it hits me just how much I wanted things between us to work out. Maybe in some other life.

Matty helps me to my feet and offers to drive me home. I’m in the middle of telling him to go back to the bar when the door flies open and slams into the wall.

“There’s no fucking way I’m leaving it like this.” Shane’s hair is all mussed up and his eyes are wild as he crosses the room to stand in front of me. Matty takes a step between us and they size each other up.

“I meant what I said about you two being co-dependent. I know you love her like a sister and I know you’ve protected her for the last twenty years and I’m grateful for that. But she’s not yours to protect anymore. You can’t be the shoulder she cries on - it should be me.” As Shane speaks Matty seems to consider his words until his is eyes flick to the dented locker and he scowls.

“If you ever lay a finger on her…” he starts but Shane quickly shuts him down.

“I would never hurt her, you know that.” Shane answers and whatever Matty sees in his eyes must convince him because he gives him a curt nod and steps back. He turns to face me and pulls me into a hug.

“I love you, Carmelina Dahl,” he whispers.

“I love you too Matthew Dawson.” I speak into his shoulder while I close my eyes and breathe in his familiar scent. Matty will always be my first home but Shane’s words have permitted a small flower of hope to bloom in the pit of my stomach. Matty walks to the door and once outside he pauses to look back at me. His gives me a sad smile and when I blow him a kiss I notice that it trembles a bit. When he disappears around the corner I turn my attention back to Shane.

“Why did you come back?” I whisper in a voice that’s hoarse from crying.

“Get your things,” he says. “I’m taking you home.”

***

I didn’t realize when he said home that he meant to his place and it’s not until we are pulling into his underground parking that I start to really get nervous. He parks in his stall then comes around to open my door without a word and my heart is thumping in my chest as he helps me out. It’s not thumping because I think he’d ever hurt me but his expression is so fierce and the anger rolling off him is hard to miss. He places a firm hand on my lower back and leads me into the elevator before pressing the button for the tenth floor.

“Are we here for my stuff?” I say, referring to the pair of pajamas and the toothbrush I left here last time.

“No.” He doesn’t look at me as he answers and I steal a glance at him.

“Then what are we doing here?” I ask.

“You’ll see.”

“Are we done?” I whisper and he answers is a harsh laugh.

“We will never be done, Carmelina.”

The elevator door slides open he grabs my arm and leads me down the hall. When we reach his place and he spins me around and slams me against the steel door before covering my body with his. His mouth claims mine in a possessive and angry kiss as his fingers tug on my hair. When he finally pulls back we are both panting and I touch a hand to my swollen lips.

“Get inside,” he says through clenched teeth as he throws open the door. I start to walk on wobbly legs over to the leather sofa but his words stop me in my tracks.

“Bedroom, now.”

I spin around to look at him and there’s a dark heat in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. I bow my head, letting my long hair fall forward in a curtain as I acquiesce and walk past him to his room. I glance out the window at the lights of downtown Austin that are twinkling in the distance, completely unsure of what is in store for me. I stand with my arms by my sides facing the window and at first I think he’s going to sit on the bed but he passes right by me and flops down in the leather chair by the wall instead. He clears his throat before speaking.

“Turn around,” his voice commands. I do as he asks and scans me from head to toe, making me squirm. “Now strip,” he says and my jaw falls open.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, babe. You’re the one telling me that it’s not a big deal so prove it. Strip.”

“What? No!” I protest as I start to back toward the door.

“Now, Carmelina,” he growls adding, “I won’t ask you again.” He picks up the TV remote and puts on a rap music channel before settling back in his chair. As I watch him I weigh my options - I can run and never look back or kick and scream and call him every name in the book or I can do exactly what he’s asking of me and strip. I understand that he’s trying to make a point; if I can do it on stage in front of dozens of men then I should be able to do it in the privacy of his bedroom but it’s his caveman attitude that really has me pissed.