On Fire’s Wings (19 page)

“There have always been plots against me,” Tahmu laughed. “But I have Halid to watch my back. That's what a Second is for, after all.”

“Yes,” said Jashemi, dully, “That is what a Second is for.”

“I leave two hawks with you,” Tahmu continued. “If you have need of me, send a message.”

“I will. Father…please take care of Kevla.”

Tahmu stopped in midstride and regarded his son. “So,” he said, “you have been seeing her, haven't you?”

Jashemi smiled slightly. “Come, Father. I can't believe you didn't know.”

“Of course I knew,” Tahmu said, smiling himself now. The smile faded as he added, “I only wish there had been no need for secrecy. You are brother and sister. You should have been raised as such.”

I wish we were not,
Jashemi thought, a heady yet painful mixture of desire and guilt sweeping through him.
I wish she were anyone in the world but my sister.

“It is time,” said Tahmu, and Jashemi realized their walk together had brought them to the corral. Tahmu's
sa'abah
had been saddled, and as it turned bright eyes to them its tack jingled.

They stood looking at one another, father and son, yet two men grown. Tahmu held open his arms and they embraced tightly.

“You have a great opportunity here, my son,” Tahmu whispered. “Relations with the
Sa'abah
Clan have never been good, but I can think of no better ambassador than you.”

They parted, hands still on one another's shoulders. “You share my vision,” Tahmu continued. “You desire peace more than war. Let us see if we can bring this about.”

With a final clap on Jashemi's shoulder, Tahmu mounted. His entourage was waiting for this signal, and they mounted as well. Tahmu did not give a last wave or shout a farewell; he had said all he meant to say. Jashemi watched as his father rode into the desert, and his throat closed up.

Be careful, Father.

 

Life among the
Sa'abah
Clan was very different from what Jashemi was accustomed to. They were nomadic, so there was no Great House. The tents of the
khashim
and the higher-caste members of the clan were as ornate as could be managed, but even they were nowhere as fine as even the poorest room in the House of Four Waters. Because there was little opportunity to grow crops and store meats, the clan subsisted mostly on the meat they could hunt and the fruits they happened upon. Jashemi found he missed fresh vegetables terribly. The entire atmosphere was much more rough-and-tumble, and Jashemi was reminded more of his uncle's household than his father's. The greatest single privation, though, was a lack of water. He was used to bathing every day, sometimes even twice a day if he had been out hunting or in the sun for a long time. Now, he realized that the basin of water he and Shali had used to cleanse themselves on the night of their wedding was as much of a bath as he would ever have here. The resource was finite; it was whatever the clan stumbled upon in their travels and whatever they could carry.

But more than the comforts of a proper bed or water to bathe in, Jashemi missed Kevla. All the other things could have been borne had she been present. Their time together had been infrequent and laced with fear of discovery, but now, denied even this, Jashemi realized how much he had grown to count on his sister. She understood him, accepted him…loved him, he was sure of it, though they had not spoken of such things.

He did not dare even to be close to a fire, and was thankful none had been kindled in his tent during his wedding night. He did not want Kevla to risk giving herself away, nor did he want her to see him with his new wife. On even the coldest of nights, Jashemi made certain to be well away from the crackling flames.

He was a stranger here, even though he was now kin to the clan leader, and the clansmen never let him forget it. They laughed at him when he asked for a spoon to eat the thick, meaty stew, stared aghast the first time he inquired about water. It was no wonder the clans were always at each others' throats. They were so different, and made so little effort to try to understand each other.

To ease the ache of Kevla's absence, Jashemi strove to fill the void with information. His wife was the one person he felt he could comfortably ask potentially embarrassing questions of, and when they were alone he bent her ear. This served several purposes. First, he learned about his new family and their customs; second, he forged a closer relationship with the stranger who was now his wife, and third, he filled their time together with this new sort of bonding instead of the more common union between man and wife.

He was racked with guilt over what had transpired on their wedding night; the only reason he had been able to satisfy her as a man should was that he pretended she was Kevla. That was an insult to both her and the beloved woman who was his sister. Since then, he ruthlessly drove all images of Kevla that were not innocent from his mind, and did not touch his wife in a sexual manner. Better to abstain from both than to sully either.

At first, Shali seemed perplexed by his lack of desire. But she warmed to him when she saw his genuine interest in learning about her people, and seemed willing to make this intimacy an acceptable substitute.

“Do your people not grow weary of traveling?” Jashemi inquired one night as he sipped a goblet of wine with Shali. The wine was excellent; Tahmu had brought it from the House of Four Waters. It tasted of home.

“Oh, no,” Shali replied, taking a drink from her own goblet. “It is in our blood, this wandering. We would feel trapped if we were to stay in one place too long.” She leaned forward. “Tell me again of your House,” she said.

So Jashemi spoke of the House and its never-ending supply of water, its strong stone foundations and brightly painted hues, its enormous kitchens and gardens. Shali's eyes shone as she listened. They had been speaking like this for weeks now, and Jashemi thought it was safe to move on to other topics.

“My father has long wanted to be counted a friend of the
Sa'abah
Clan,” he ventured.

“Then giving us his son was a good thing to do,” she said, smiling sweetly.

“It seems to me your people are very skilled at warfare.”

“We have to be,” she replied. “Everyone wants our
sa'abahs.
But they do not breed well when kept in a corral.”

Jashemi wondered if the so-called “wanderlust” Shali had attributed to her tribe was dictated not from within but from the
sa'abahs.
They were as valuable as water, and if they only bred readily when on the move, well then, it made sense to become a traveling clan.

“Of course everyone wants them,” he said, “but some would prefer not to fight to obtain them. Why does your father oppose trade?” He kept his voice light, as if the conversation meant little to him personally, but he hung on her answer.

“What is to stop another clan from trading and then descending at night to reclaim what they had given?”

“Trust,” Jashemi said simply.

She looked sharply at him then. “Trust,” she said, “is a luxury that perhaps those in your Clan can afford.” He marveled at the bluntness of her words; the wine was having an effect. “It is easy to trust when you are in no danger. When was the last time the House of Four Waters came under attack?”

“Not in my lifetime or in my father's,” he admitted.

She shrugged, the gesture conveying more than words could. She drained her cup and poured more wine. “Besides,” she said, “it keeps our warriors ready for battle from all sides.”

“You mean, from all clans.”

She shook her head, the looseness of the gesture revealing that she had indeed drunk too much tonight.

“No,” Shali said, “from all
sides.
Our scouts have returned with rumors of war from other lands. Lands on the other side of the mountains.”

Jashemi was completely alert. He had never even given any thought as to what lay beyond the mountain range. Arukan was all he knew, was all he thought there was. There were other people, other lands? The mountains and of course the Great Dragon had kept them safe until now.

Casually, he inquired, “What lands? I have not heard of this.”

She smiled proudly. “When you have to fight as often as we do, you learn where your enemies will come from. I don't know the names of the places, but people have been coming from the mountains and killing some of those who live too close to the Northern range.”

Shali yawned and stretched, then got up and went on her hands and knees to him. She settled her head in his lap.

“My husband,” she murmured, the words beginning to slur, “will you not make love to me tonight?”

Jashemi closed his eyes and stroked her hair softly. “No, my wife,” he said, very gently. “But I will take you to bed and tuck the covers around you and sing you to sleep, if you like.”

She smiled sleepily. “That sounds pleasant,” she said.

He picked her up in his strong arms and did as he promised her, singing children's songs in a soft voice. He watched her sleep for a few long moments. He wished he could love her, or at least make love to her, but to do so would be to court thoughts that he knew were forbidden.

Sighing, he rolled over and soon went to sleep himself.

Again, he dreamed of the sad, elegant woman with whom he regarded the Shadow that lurked on the edge of the world. If only he knew what it meant. An image flashed into his mind, like a memory; an image of a boy just into manhood, lying dead on a stone street.

Jashemi had never met this youth, but he knew him. Knew of him. Why? Who was he?

He saw the laughing horse creature, the elegant hound with claws and wings, and another being unlike any he had ever seen. He could not even properly describe it. A horn and cloven feet like a
liah,
scales like a snake, beard like a goat—it ought to be ugly, hideous, a monstrous thing. Instead it struck him as exquisite, and his heart ached to behold it.

There was a thin golden chain around its slim neck, a chain that trailed off into shadow. And despite the creature's apparent delicacy and great beauty, he knew that it was a harbinger of terrible danger.

He awoke covered in sweat, his throat so tight that he knew he could not possibly have cried out. Anger replaced fear as he wished desperately he could make sense of these dreams. He was suddenly unable to bear sleeping next to Shali, a woman he could not love, could not confide in. It was not her fault; she was a good person and tried so hard to comply with his desires. He took the pillow and stretched out on the cold stone floor.

Kevla. Oh, Kevla, I wish I could talk to you about this.

He had no more dreams that night.

 

Unto the Great
Khashim,

I am sorry to hear that you were not able to come to better terms with the Shining Clan. It is unfortunate that we seem to be the only ones who prefer peace to war.

I have heard news that might interest you. It seems that not only must my wife's clan defend themselves against attack from other clans, but there is a new enemy to be wary of as well. I am now in a position to command informants, and they have corroborated the rumors.

Arukan is no longer alone. It appears that there are lands on the other side of the mountains that have thus far protected Arukan so well. I have not seen this with my own eyes, but the stories keep coming of attacks on those who live too close to the Northern range.

Have you heard of such things? I am certain that you keep at least as informed as I. We have long desired to unite the clans, in order to bring about prosperity and peace for all. Now I wonder if we ought to try to unite them so that we present a strong force to this mysterious enemy. He will easily be able to pick us off one by one, like the
simmars
do the
liahs,
if we continue to be fragmented and conduct these petty raids.

Please take care of the One we both know. I understand you can tell her nothing, but keep a kind eye upon her.

My deepest regards to you and wishes for your continued good health.

Tahmu read and reread the note. Jashemi had not written names or any identifying terms, as they had agreed, and had used a code they had contrived when Jashemi was young. For a long moment he thought that some of the comments were in another sort of code, so strange did they seem to him.

Other lands beyond the mountains? No one had ever heard of such a thing. Of course, most clan leaders had very specific priorities that did not go beyond which other clan they would raid this season. But even he, who prided himself on being more farseeing than others, had never entertained such a thought.

For a moment, he wondered if Terku wasn't playing a cruel trick on Jashemi. It would not be out of character for the wily old man. But Jashemi would not be taken in so easily. He would have tried to verify something on his own, as he had said in the letter he had done.