On Every Side (11 page)

“Two weeks?” He ran his hand over his hair. “Faith, you're lucky you lived.”

Faith pictured the people who had filled her room the day she came to, people who had been holding vigil since the acci-dent.” Not lucky, blessed. I had people praying for me around the clock, Jordan.” She hesitated, surprised at how emotional she still felt when she thought back to that time in her life. “My dad put together a prayer chain, and for two weeks people took half hour shifts praying for me. Not a moment went by when some-one wasn't praying.”

“Hmm.” The muscles in Jordan's jaw flexed. “That's nice.” Something hard flashed in his eyes, and Faith couldn't decide what it was—but she had the oddest feeling that she'd offended him somehow. Strange. Jordan was a believer; certainly he wouldn't have been put off by prayer.

“The doctors said it was a miracle. It took nearly a year of operations and therapy for me to learn how to eat and walk and be independent again. When I got out of the hospital, I moved back in with my parents, and two years ago I finally felt good as new. That's when I took the job at WKZN.”

Jordan eased himself forward as they both accepted coffee refills from the waitress.” Lots of people are never the same after an accident like that.”

“All credit goes to God. Without His help I wouldn't have made it. That's for sure.”

“Right.”

An awkward silence filled the distance between them, and
Faith studied him closely There it was again, a flicker of distaste or anxiety, as though she kept touching a sore spot somewhere near his heart.

“You okay?” Faith uttered the question before she could stop herself. Jordan was a man now, someone she barely knew. What right did she have to probe into the private places of his emotions?

Surprise filled his face but he glanced down at his coffee cup as the corners of his mouth lifted. “Yeah, sure.”

He wasn't going to elaborate so Faith tried another tact. “How ‘bout you? You left the camp at some point, obviously What's God been doing in your life?”

She stretched out her legs and felt their feet touch. Without saying anything she discreetly moved hers to one side. He looked up at her again, and though his smile was back, the discomfort in his eyes remained. “I stayed at camp till I graduated from high school. Spent most of my time playing baseball and wound up with a scholarship to play at New Jersey State.”

Finally some good news. Faith clapped her hands. “Jordan, that's wonderful. You always dreamed about playing ball in col-lege. You have to tell me all about it.”

He chuckled at her enthusiasm and spent the next half hour regaling her with stories of his playing days. She remembered then that he'd mentioned something about law school. “So after college you became a lawyer?”

He nodded and signaled for the check.” I should let you get some sleep; it's one-thirty”

Faith didn't care how late it was, she didn't want the night to end. It felt so good to share a few hours with him after all the years that had passed without him, without knowing what had happened to him. “What kind of law do you practice?”

Jordan let his gaze fall for a moment and then flashed her a
smile plucked from their early days together. “This and that. Civil rights stuff. Nothing interesting.”

“If you'd lived with us I bet you'd have been working right there alongside Dad. Don't you think?”

The walls in Jordan's eyes grew thicker, impenetrable. “It's late, Faith.” There it was again. That artificial smile. “I have to go. I have a long drive tomorrow.” He laid a five-dollar bill on the table and stood to help her with her jacket. As their arms touched Faith caught her breath at the jolt that went through her. What was wrong with her? She pulled her jacket on the rest of the way. Probably just adolescent memories playing tricks on her emotions.

Whatever the reason, she was strongly aware of Jordan beside her as they left the diner and headed for their cars. Before they said good-bye, Jordan pulled her into a hug then looked intently into her eyes.” It was good seeing you again, Faith.” He ran his thumb along her eyebrow. “I thought I'd lost you forever.”

Her heart skipped a beat, but she held his gaze. Was he going to kiss her? Here in the diner parking lot? He brought his face closer to hers and whispered against her face. “I never stopped thinking about you.”

A floating sensation came over her, and she nuzzled her face against his. “I thought about you, too.” She pulled away, wanting to ask him but not knowing how to word it without sounding blunt. “Want my phone number? So you can call me from New York?”

In response he brought his lips to hers and kissed her gently tenderly—but this wasn't a young boy kissing a girl for the first time. It was the kiss of a rnan.
A man who Faith knew for certain was as attracted to her as she was to him. They drew nearer to each other as the kiss continued, but before it could become more passionate, Jordan drew back.” I have to go. I'll call you.”

A dozen emotions assaulted Faith and she searched his eyes. If he could kiss her like that, then he must still care for her. But if he was interested in her, he certainly hadn't said
so. Why are you doing this, Jordan? What's going on in your head?
She kept her con-cerns to herself, all but one. “You don't have my number.”

“I'll call you at the station.”

Then, in what seemed a poorly scripted ending to a wonder-ful evening, Jordan opened her car door and ushered her inside. “Good-bye, Faith.” He bent down and their lips briefly came together once more.

He climbed into his black sports car and before she could turn the key, he drove away Jordan's entire body trembled as he pulled out of the diner parking lot. It had been heaven spending an evening with Faith, seeing her again, feeling her in his arms. She was more beautiful than he could have imagined, more intuitive to his feelings. He hadn't planned to kiss her, but after their hug, there was nothing he could do to stop himself. In all his life nothing had felt so right as having her in his arms, kissing her.

But it had been deeply wrong and he was furious at himself for letting his emotions get the better of him.

What right did he have listening to Faith talk about the miracle of her healing and the ways people had prayed for her? As though he still shared that same belief system? He had planned to tell her that he no longer bought into the stories about Jesus loving him and God having a plan for his life, but somehow the words hadn't come.

He eased up on the pedal and drove slowly back to his motel room. If only things had been different, if her parents had gotten word to his social worker earlier about their intention to adopt Heidi and him. Jordan couldn't imagine how things might have turned out, but they would definitely have been different. Maybe
Faith was right. Maybe he would have wound up working along-side Bob Moses on the other side of the battle for religious rights.

But none of that mattered now.

He'd already made his decision, already filed the lawsuit. He'd taken a public stand against the very things Faith held dear, the things her father had devoted his final days defending. Jordan let out a strangled huff. Of course he hadn't asked Faith for her phone number. Angry tears stung his eyes as he let himself into his motel room. Faith represented everything good and pure and clean about life; ideals he knew nothing about and didn't believe in, anyway.

There would never be another date between them, never another kiss.

After tomorrow, Faith would learn what he'd done. What he'd become. Then he'd no longer be her old friend, a man who'd captured her heart in the parking lot of a Bethany diner.

He'd be her enemy

O
ne of the benefits of doing the eleven o'clock news was that unless Faith was working on a
Wednesday's Child
segment, she had her days to herself. When she awoke that Tuesday morning, after a night consumed with thoughts of Jordan, Faith knew there was only one way she could right her perspective.

By spending a day with Rosa.

Since the interview there had been one other time when Faith had contacted Rosa's social worker to arrange an afternoon with her. Over the weekend they'd seen the latest Disney movie and today…well, today Faith wanted to take her back to Jericho Park. Rosa had been drawn to the Jesus statue, and Faith couldn't think of any place she'd rather spend a few hours to sort through her emotions.

Faith planned to pick the child up at her foster home just before lunch. She brought a picnic and found the girl ready and waiting.

“You came!” Rosa ran down the sidewalk, her hair bouncing behind her, and flew into Faith's arms. “Did you see me on TV again?”

“I sure did.” The girl's hair felt smooth beneath Faith's finger-tips, and she and Rosa locked hands as they made their way to the car. Rosa's words rang in Faith's heart.
You came…you came…
you came…
How many times had the child been let down if Faith's simple commitment—the mere act of showing up as she'd promised—meant so much?

“You sure looked pretty”

Faith pulled into traffic and headed for the park as Rosa grinned at her, her eyes huge and full of expectation.” Did my new mommy and daddy call yet?”

An ache settled around the base of Faith's heart and she swal-lowed a sigh. “Not yet, sweetheart, but that doesn't mean any-thing. Jesus has a plan, remember?”

Rosa's smile faded some and she settled back into her seat. “Uh-huh. My forever parents will come for me in His timing. Right? That's what my foster mom says and you too.”

“Right, baby… that's right. Jesus has someone planned for you and one of these days you'll meet them and it'll feel as if they were there all along.”

“One of these days…” Rosa sighed and stared out the wind-shield. There was nothing cynical or defeated in the little girl's tone. Only a resignation that as of yet there were still no parents for her, no one to call her own.
You know I'd take her if I could, Lord…

Silence.

Faith felt the beginning of tears and forced herself to be cheer-ful. It wouldn't help Rosa if she were sad this afternoon. This was a day for playing and laughing and enjoying their time together. They arrived at the park and shared a peanut butter sandwich and homemade cookies. Faith was pushing the child on thè swing, when she noticed the way two little girls nearby whis-pered about Rosa's missing fingers. Faith slowed the swing down and tickled Rosa.

“Okay, sweetcakes, get off.”

Rosa grinned at her and slid down to the ground. Once the swing was empty, Faith sat down and pulled Rosa onto her lap.

“Hold on!” Faith waited until the child had a tight grip on the chains, then covering the girl's deformed hand with her own, Faith pumped the swing higher and higher, savoring Rosa's little-girl laughter.

Something about Faith's acceptance of her seemed to con-vince the other little girls that Rosa was okay After a few minutes the two of them came and stood nearby “Can she play with us?”

Faith felt a surge of hope as she slowed the swing, breathless from the cool fall air and the thrill of the ride. She leaned close and spoke softly in Rosa's ear.” Wanna play with them?”

Rosa bobbed her head up and down. “Yes, please…” And with that she and the other girls ran off to the merry-go-round. The tears were back as Faith silently celebrated the victory.
She needs a mom, Lord…someone who can help her win those battles every day of her life.

No words of wisdom echoed in Faith's soul as she made her way to a nearby bench. She watched the children play and gradu-ally her mind wandered once more to the night before.

Jordan Riley.

Was his return some part of God's plan? Faith thought about that and decided it could be. After all, they were both still single and whatever attraction had been there for them as kids had obviously lasted over the years. She sighed and tried to imagine what might have happened if Jordan hadn't disappeared for six-teen years of her life. There would have been no Mike Dillan to forget about, no broken heart.

What had she been thinking to date a man such as Mike Dillan anyway? Faith sighed and crossed her legs, enjoying the way the sun felt on her shoulders. Becoming Mike's girlfriend wasn't something she'd planned; it had just sort of happened. Faith hadn't let herself remember that time in her life for years, but now, watching Rosa play with her new friends, still basking in the memory of Jordan's kiss from the night before, Faith felt herself drifting back.

For years after Jordan left, Faith waited for him, asking her parents where he lived and imagining ways she might find him
again. Through junior high and even high school she never had a boyfriend, because every time one of her peers was interested she compared him to Jordan.
Someday,
she'd tell herself,
someday God will bring us back together
It was a sentiment she wrote in her journals and carried with her straight into college.

Her four years at Penn State were a blur of busyness and activities led by her involvement with the school newspaper and broadcast department. There was little time for boyfriends, but every now and then she'd spend a weekend at home and wind up at Jericho Park, on the bench near the Jesus statue where she and Jordan had spent their last days together.
Where is he, Lord?
She'd let her imagination run wild. Maybe he'd moved on to another state or another country…maybe he'd gone to college and was spending all his free time trying to find her. Wherever he was, he wasn't in Bethany and the chance that Faith would ever see him again was practically nonexistent.

Faith stared at the Jesus statue now and tried to remember herself as she'd been back then, a senior in college, working as a broadcast intern for a small student-run station not far from cam-pus. She'd been too busy to do much more than keep to her schedule and once in a rare while think about Jordan and what might have been.

Mike had come into the picture two years later when her internship led to a full-time sports reporting position at the Philadelphia CBS affiliate. Mike was a tight end with the Eagles, and from the first day Faith was assigned to do sidebar stories on the team, he'd made his presence known.