On A Run (12 page)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Hannah decided they had to go to the grocery store. She was out of diapers and the delivery service couldn’t come until the next afternoon. There were certain things Hannah could live without, but a package of diapers was not one of them. The possibility of potty training Madison in the next couple of hours didn’t seem likely, especially given that Meg refused to go anywhere near the “potty machine.” Madison had been early in development in all areas except this one, and it was one that she refused to budge on. Hannah had tried everything. She tried bribes, she tried enticements, she even once thought about punishing Meg for not trying to use the toilet, though luckily she had called Sheila first to get her opinion. Sheila had convinced Hannah that Meg would potty train when she was ready, and not to worry about it. Still, relying on diapers was getting old.

Hannah packed Madison into her car seat and headed for town, nervously looking in her rear view at her child. Meg was happily singing a song she had just made up about the sights she saw out the window. Once at the store, Hannah had to drive around the small parking lot twice before she could find a parking spot. It was late in the afternoon on a Friday, and she supposed people had just gotten off work and were stopping by the store on their way home. Her timing couldn’t have been worse. Hannah was about to give up and go home, wondering if perhaps the gas station had diapers. There weren’t any other options in this tiny tourist town. Dejectedly, she pulled into a space and turned off the ignition.

Hannah unbuckled Meg from her car seat and held her hand tightly as they walked toward the store. Once inside, Madison refused to ride in the cart Hannah got, instead walking next to the basket. This slowed their business down significantly, to the delight of the child and the pain of her mother. Madison felt the need to stop and investigate everything she could at her eye level, asking questions about the different packages, pointing out the ones she recognized. If Hannah had had her way, she would have gone directly to the baby aisle, grabbed the diapers, gone through the self-checkout, and been on her way home as quickly as she could. With Madison in charge, she would be lucky to get out before the store closed.

Finally with diaper package in one hand and Madison’s hand tightly held in the other (Hannah had ditched the cart after it was apparent that Meg wasn’t going to ride in it.) they headed toward the self-check.

“We need milk mommy,
” Madison reminded her.

They
did too. Hannah didn’t want to detour long enough to find it, but it would save her the horror of another trip if Meg decided that all she would eat was cereal and milk, a trick she did on occasion. So back toward the dairy aisle they went, slowly. Hannah looked down three aisles before she found one that wasn’t so impacted with people. Then, after this detour, Meg slowed unbelievably even more when they got to the dairy section, commenting on all the different colors of “joegurts” she passed. As they finally neared where the milks were, they had to wait as a woman in an electric wheelchair struggled to reach a carton on a shelf just out of her reach. The woman was very old, it seemed, though it was hard to tell. Her round body was humped over and gnarled, but her legs were spindly thin and hung down below the brown skirt she was wearing.

“May I help you?” Hannah quickly pulled down the carton that the old woman was reaching for, worrying that the woman would topple out of her chair onto the floor.

“Why thank you!” the old woman croaked, winking at Madison, who smiled back without fear, checking out the woman with open fascination. “That is very kind of you.”

“It’s is no problem.” Hannah was polite, but nervous. It was ridiculous, of course; this woman was about as intimidating as any of the tiny creatures she and Meg observed while they explored the outdoors. But the woman was a stranger, and, like all strangers, she caused discomfort in Hannah. Hannah placed the milk into the woman’s basket, and then turned to get her own gallon. Before Madison could begin the barrage of questions that Hannah knew she was conjuring up in her mind, Hannah scooped her up and headed for the checkout stand.

That night, Madison didn’t want cereal and milk for dinner. She didn’t want anything. At first Hannah thought Meg was being stubborn, wanting dessert without dinner first, but after a while Hannah tried this as a bribe and it didn’t work.

“Don’t you want a popsicle?” she tempted Madison with her favorite treat, thinking she could use it as leverage.

“No, Meg’s not hungry,” Madison replied, calling herself by name. It was a trick she did only when feeling particularly small.

“What’s wrong sweetie? You could have some cereal.” Hannah had never known Madison to turn this offer down. The kid had an appetite to match her energy level.

“Tummy hurts!” was all Madison could manage before bursting into tears.

Hannah reached down to pick her daughter up and realized that Meg was hot with a fever. She took Meg into her bedroom and laid her on her bed, surrounding Madison with all her favorite toys before leaving her to get the thermometer and a glass of water. Madison wanted nothing to do with either of them.

“Honey, I just need to take your temperature to see if you are ok….”

“Tummy hurts!” Madison insisted, too late for Hannah to realize that she meant it. Madison’s face turned a strange mint green color, and then she lost what little she had still in her stomach from earlier in the day onto her butterfly comforter. This made her cry all the harder.

“Oh sweetie, mommy is so sorry!” Hannah grabbed a towel out of the hamper and wrapped Madison into it and carried her to the bathroom. She gently cleaned her up and put her into clean pajamas while sneakily taking her temperature under her armpit. It read 101, which Hannah was fairly certain was too high, though already the color was returning to Madison’s face. She took the cleaned little bundle to her own room and put her in the middle of her queen size bed and then grabbed the phone from its cradle and dialed the medical center. It rang many times before a young female voice answered.

“Breckenridge Medical Center a
fter-hours answering service,” the voice announced, not sounding too enthusiastic.

“Hello, yes, I need to speak to a doctor, please. It is about my three year old daughter.”

“There aren’t doctors at this service; however, we have answers to most common questions.”

This didn’t sound reassuring. Hannah pictured a pierced lipped teenager on the other end of the phone watching sitcoms in the background.

“Please, isn’t there a…. medical professional I can speak with? My daughter just threw up and has a fever of 101…”

“You can bring her in to the ER if you feel it is life threatening
.”

“Isn’t there anyone who could come up here to check on her?” Hannah had no idea if it was life threatening. Madison was lying quietly, with a calmer look on her face. Hannah touched her forehead and it felt cooler already. The idea of going to the ER made Hannah’s stomach twist even tighter. She had gone out once today already and it had given her such bad stomach spasms that she couldn’t imagine she could stand any more.

“We don’t make house calls ma’am.” What was the worst was the voice on the other end sounded apathetic at best. “If her fever is only 101 she will be fine, just keep her cool with wet washcloths. If her temperature goes over 103, then bring her to the ER.”

Hannah waited to hear if the girl would hang up the phone. She didn’t, but Hannah could tell the voice was waiting for Hannah to.

“Ok, thank you.” Hannah hung up “For nothing.”

“Mommy….”

Hannah’s attention was immediately present with her little one. “I’m here baby. The nurse says you will be fine. But I am going to stay right here.”

“Tell me one of your stories.” the little voice said.

“I don’t write children’s stories sweetie. I just write big people stories. How about I read the ‘Wild Things’ book?” It was one of Madison’s favorites.

“I want you
to tell me one of your stories!” Madison insisted.

Hannah wracked her brain to think if any of her plots would be appropriate to tell to Madiso
n.

“Tell me about the toad lady,
” Madison added.

Hannah was confused until she realized that Meg was talking about the lady in the grocery store. Desperate to make her little girl feel better and to take away her pain, Hannah quickly began to put together a story for her.

“Once upon a time, but not so long ago, there lived the wise old toad queen who sat upon her log, watching over all that was her dominion. Each spring she watched as the fairy flies were born and then flew off to find their light. The toad queen did not eat the fairy flies, because, being wise, she knew that they were like bubbles: too beautiful to pop and too little to be of nutrition or taste. The toad queen preferred the black flies that were fat and buzzed around her constantly.”

Madison giggled at this; her eyes were wide and intent on the story. Hannah continued. “One spring, as all the other springs before, a group of fairy flies were born. But, as they all went off to find their light, one very tiny and very beautiful fairy fly did not. This particular fairy fly’s name was Lily. Lily watched as the others flittered this way and that, drying their newly formed wings and testing their new freedom of flight. But Lily did not dart as the others did. She was a timid fairy fly, not yet sure of her abilities.

Day after day, Lily tried. She would get her courage up and dart out from behind her hiding place to the light she thought was hers, only to find that once she had gotten to it, it belonged to someone else. She was afraid to fly farther than what seemed safe to find her light. One day, the toad queen noticed Lily who was hiding along the banks by the queen’s log. She said to the timid fairy fly, ‘Why haven’t you found your light?’ ‘I don’t think there is one for me.’ Lily said back, quietly, trying to keep the tiny tears from dropping onto her wings. ‘Of course you do,’ assured the toad queen, ‘all fairy flies have a light.’ ‘Then I can’t find mine.’ said a discouraged Lily. ‘For some fairy flies, any light nearby will do, but for special fairy flies, like yourself, you will need a special light. You will have to search long and far for yours, for your light will not be just any light.’ ‘But I am afraid of the swimming flashes!’ cried Lily. (“Those are the fish beneath the water” edited Hannah.) ‘And the long tongues.’ (“Frogs?” Meg guessed. Hannah smiled her assent.) ‘But most of all, I am afraid of those huge noisy metal monsters.’ Lily admitted very quietly, afraid to make one materialize just by mentioning it. (“Cars!” Chimed in a serious Madison, realizing how terrifying one might be to such a small creature.) ‘Don’t you fear, little fairy fly, because you are so special you have the strength inside of you that will protect you from all that you fear. Go now and bring me back your light, for this is something I especially want to see.’ Lily looked once more at the toad queen and then darted up and away from the bank of the river. She flew as high and as fast as she could, and she did not pause to look around. She headed straight ahead toward a place she had never been before. She flew past other fairy flies, who encouraged her on. She flew by swimming flashes and long tongues, too fast to be caught by either, she flew above the metallic monsters, immune to their smells and noise. Lily flew and flew until suddenly, there in front of her, was a shimmering light. She slowed her flight. This light was brighter and more colorful than any of the others she had seen. ‘It must be someone else’s light’ she thought, but kept flying closer and closer to it. Lily looked around. There were no other fairy flies here. When she got to the light, she found that it was as attracted to her as she was to it, and suddenly she felt herself begin to glow.”

“A lightning bug!” Madison realized. She and Hannah loved to watch the fireflies dance around their porch in the summer evening.

“Yes, Lily was a lightning bug, the prettiest firefly ever seen. As soon as she had her light, she flew back to the toad queen to show her. The toad queen was very proud of little Lily, and Lily was proud of herself. She wasn’t timid and she wasn’t afraid ever again.”

Hannah looked down at Madison, who had snuggled deep into her mother’s blankets on her large bed, and watched as Meg fell asleep. Hannah kissed her forehead, which did not feel nearly as warm. She pulled the thermometer out and gently, without waking her child, checked Madison’s temperature. It had dropped to 99 degrees, a less scary amount. Hannah went to turn out the light, a glow from the living room lamp leaving the room dimly lit. She then sat down in her recliner by the bed and fell fast asleep as well.

Hannah did not wake at first light, as usual. It took the chirping of the forest birds to wake her from her deep sleep. Disoriented, it took a minute to figure out just where she was. When she realized she was in her recliner, she sat up with a start and looked at her bed where her sick child had lain the night before. The bed was empty. Hannah called Meg’s name quietly, wondering if somehow the girl had gotten up in the night and put herself into her own bed. Hannah went to Meg’s room but she wasn’t there, the bed still a mess from the night before. The sight made Hannah gag and returned a fear to the pit of her stomach. Hannah looked in the bathroom (thinking somehow perhaps overnight the child had acquired an interest in using the big people’s toilet) then the living room. On the way to the kitchen Hannah noticed that the back door was open, the screen door letting in the sounds and breeze of the morning. Panicked, Hannah rushed to it. Madison had never let herself outside alone before, despite her inquisitiveness. At the door, before she opened it, she stopped. There was Madison, at the bottom of the patio stairs in her white nightgown. She had her arms thrown outwards and was spinning in the morning light, a wide smile on her face. Hannah watched, not alerting the child to her presence. Her little girl was enjoying life with an abandon, obviously feeling better from the night before. Madison stopped, having spied her mother in the doorway.