Olivia (71 page)

Tina shrugged.  “Not with everyone.  Me and Tobi, Amy of course, and usually Beth, Anita and Sarah J.  Sometimes Liz and Ellen.  We took a vote.”

“Was it unanimous?” Olivia asked and immediately wondered why that mattered.  “Never mind.  You’re right, and I know you’re right.  And if you voted, that I have to respect that.  I’m not the boss of you.”

“Yes, you are.”  Tina said immediately and with a complete lack of rancor.  “And that’s fine.  We need someone in charge, someone we can trust to stand up for us, and you do that really well.  Tell you what, you stand me up and delegate me your representative in the healing arts tonight, and I can guarantee everybody washes their hands in the kitchen by tomorrow.  As for this doctor-thing, look, Murgull needed to take you in.  That was a big deal and it needed to be seen.  But we have to go beyond one woman who knows everything, or even two women.  We need a real clinic down here, and honey, you’ve got enough problems being magic.”

“I’m not!”

“Being pregnant, then.  I’m not trying to bust your chops here. I’m muscling you out and I know it, but I’m only doing it because it’s the right thing to do.  It’s nothing personal.”  She made a face as soon as the words left her mouth and stalked a few steps away, muttering to herself.  When she reached the wall, she swung around and came back, her expression set and determined, but chagrined.  “It’s always personal when people say stuff like that, but not this time, I swear.  I need you to do what you’re doing around here, and even if I didn’t, I still like you.”

“Thanks.”

Tina watched her critically.  “So we’re good?”

“We’re good.”  Olivia nodded towards Liz, still hovering in the doorway.  “Your next patient, Doctor.”

Tina backed up, frowning, then turned around and gave Liz a beckoning, impatient wave.

“A clinic,” Olivia said, testing the idea.  “Wow.”

“It’s ambitious, I know, but I really think it needs to happen.  If nothing else, it’ll give some of the older gullan a place to work where experience means more than how fast they can move or how much they can carry.  I have some ideas for how to set it up, I just need you to convince Vorgullum to let me do it.  Have a seat, Liz.  How are you feeling?”

Liz complained she was still morning-sick, to the point where she often went all day without being able to hold anything down.  “And as miserable as that makes me,” she said waspishly, “I still have to deal with Gormuck wanting to know if he can do anything to help.  I told him he had his chance to help and he knocked me up anyway!”  She rolled her eyes contemptuously.  “And he burst into tears.  Can you believe it?  I spent the whole night hunched over a bucket, puking up apologies.  Big jerk.” 

“Raspberry mint tea,” said Olivia.  “In little sips all day.  Tell Gormuck you need it.  Running back and forth to the women’s tunnels for tea will make him feel like he’s doing something useful.”

“Tea is good, but severe nausea can sometimes be related to low blood sugar,” Tina added critically.  “Tell him he also needs to keep you stocked with little snacks.  Christ, I wish we had a glucometer,” she muttered.

“Little snacks?” Liz groaned, clapping both hands over her face.  “If I have to eat one more giant hunk of greasy meat—”

“No, no, think crackers or…You know, let’s go talk to Horumn about what she can put together in terms of a biscuit and then we’ll go see your man together, okay?  Ellen’s still waiting out here, Olivia,” Tina called, walking Liz out.  “You can handle her without me, right?”

Just to let her know where she stood.  Olivia smiled crookedly.  “Sure.”

Tina gave her the other half of that smile. 
I know, I know
, those matter-of-fact eyes said. 
But it has to happen.  Me physician.  You assistant
.

And she did have a lot on her plate.  Olivia gave her a goodbye wave that turned into a hello for Ellen.  “It’s nice to see you,” she said.

“Oh, I’ve been around, but I know how it is.  Settling in and…and all that.”  She shifted on the bench to allow Olivia to begin the examination.  “I’m doing all right, I think, but I did want to ask about stretch marks? Not that I’m going to be in a bikini anytime soon, but Mudmar already thinks I’m ugly as sin on Sunday, and now he says I’m coming up ‘stripey’.”

Olivia looked up from Ellen’s belly in honest surprise.  “He thinks you’re ugly?”

Ellen laughed, actually reaching out to pat Olivia’s head as if she were a dog that had just performed a trick.  “God, you’re sweet.  Yes, he thinks I’m ugly.  Still.  You know, I used to model…sort of off-off-off-media.   Shots of me from the hips down in Bayer’s Blue Jeans, and shots of me from the neck up for Oxy Extra-Medicated.  The closest I ever came to real celebrity was being elected Little Miss Cherry in the Sandal County Fruit Festival.”  She shook her head, smiling over Olivia’s shoulder at the far wall.  “But Mudmar still thinks I’m little and clammy and bald…and flat-faced.  I never thought I’d meet a man who wanted me to have a bigger nose.”

“That’s…I mean…I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, the good news is, he thinks you’re ugly, too.”  Ellen patted her head again and then stood up and smoothed down her loose-fitting flannel shirt.  “I hate feeling so shallow, but if he’s going to cheat on me, at least he’s consistent about his standards.”

“Is he?” Olivia asked, struggling to rise to her feet.  “Cheating on you?”

“Well, perhaps that was a poor choice of words.  Yes, he’s got a girl on the side.  The same girl he’s had for about fifty years, I guess, since he said he’s been meeting her in secret since he was fledged and now I have a pretty good idea of just how long that is.  In a way, he’s cheating on her with me.  I don’t mind.  He loves her.  Imagine not being able to live with the person you love.  And he’s very open about things with me.  He says that if I want to be with another man after the baby is born, he won’t stop me, provided I take precautions.  We’re very civil about our infidelities…we’re practically British.”  Ellen waited until Olivia had settled herself on the examination bench.  “Do you need to catch your breath?  I could take you back to your room.”

“I can find my way.  I’m okay, really,” Olivia assured the other, smiling.  “I just need to sit here a while and count my blessings after listening to all those troubles.  All I have is a sore back and a tiny bladder.”

“Well…if you’re sure.”  Ellen stepped back and looked uncertain.

“I’m sure.  Scoot.”  Olivia chuckled under her breath.  “Practically British,” she repeated, shaking her head.

Ellen smiled.  “Duruna is going to move in with us pretty soon, I think.  I invited her.  To help me with the baby, as an excuse.  How British is that?”

“Are you done?” a timid voice called.  “It’s me, Beth.”

Ellen and Olivia exchanged farewells, and then Ellen retreated, nodding at Beth as she slipped sideways through the narrow doorway.  Beth stood awkwardly on one leg, rubbing her foot against the back of her knee and performing curious little washing movements with her hands that made her look, in the uneven lighting, a little like a raccoon.

“Come in, Beth,” Olivia began, and motioned her towards the bench, feeling only a weary sort of gratitude that, whatever this problem was, it couldn’t have anything to do with a baby at least.  “Can I help you?”

“I hope so.”  Beth sat down and clasped Olivia’s hands with a look of such wide-eyed longing that she appeared more like a child of twelve than the woman she was now.  “Make me pregnant!”

7

“What do you mean, make you pregnant?” Olivia echoed, aghast.  “Who do you think I am?”

“Please, Olivia!” Beth urged, squeezing her hands to the point of pain.  “Please, I’ll do anything you say!”

Olivia forced herself to calm down, and when she spoke again, it was with gentleness.  “It’s not a matter of doing what I say, Beth.  You told me yourself you couldn’t.”

Beth dropped her gaze, and a moment later, she released her grip on Olivia and folded her hands in her lap.  “Because of the abortion,” she agreed.  She looked up again, her eyes huge and hopeful.  “But you could help me, maybe?  You could use your magic powers.”

Olivia wanted to laugh, and it was only by the fiercest of internal battles that she managed not to do so.  “I don’t have any magic powers,” she said, when she could trust herself to speak.  “I keep making the most ridiculous crap up, and it keeps coming true, but I swear I’m not doing anything.”

“What about the dream you had?” Beth asked.  “That was magic.”

“It can’t be magic if you don’t mean to do it,” Olivia insisted.

Beth’s whole body seemed to crumple, starting with her face.  “You won’t help me,” she said in a quavery voice.

“I don’t…oh hell,” she muttered, and sat down beside her.  “Tell me about the abortion.  Maybe it wasn’t so bad as you thought.”

Beth gave her a brief glance that told Olivia at once that it had been exactly as bad as she thought.  She fiddled with her hands for a short time, and tensely began, “I was thirteen, and a junior counselor at summer camp for little kids.  Jim was one of the real counselors.  He was twenty-eight.”

Beth paused and slid a glance her way, scouting for disapproval.  Olivia frowned, but said nothing.  Beth relaxed minutely and continued.

“We had sex a lot.  Every night of camp, and sometimes in the middle of the day, if we had the chance.  It hurt at first, but he told me it would, and then it got better and I liked it.  Two weeks later, the little-kid camp closed and I went home.  I realized I was pregnant when I started throwing up a lot.  I told my mom I had the flu, and she didn’t suspect anything.  I was afraid to say anything to anyone, and I didn’t even know how to contact Jim.

“Then my birthday came, and he called me.  I guess he got my number from the camp files.  He said he had a present for me, and he wanted me to sneak out and meet him.  So I did.  After my party, I knocked the screen out of my window and climbed out.  I ran about three blocks away and he picked me up and took me back to his place.  His present was some sex stuff, and he tried it out on me and took a lot of pictures.

“When he was done, and before he took me home, I told him I had skipped my period.  I was afraid that he would say he wasn’t the father, or just throw me out, but he listened to me and said not to worry.  He drove down to the all-night supermarket and got a pregnancy test.  It was positive.  I started to panic, but he said he would fix things.

“Three weeks after that, he came to my house and introduced himself to my mom and dad.  He said I had been so helpful during summer camp that he wanted me back to help with the fall camps.  He had brochures and everything.  My mom and dad agreed to let me go.  I packed my camp stuff and they drove me to the bus station.  I took the bus one block and got off.  He was there.  He took me to his house.

“He gave me a leather kit like you can buy in craft stores, the kind where you make your own moccasins?  He told me to put it together, and then he made some phone calls.  That night, he woke me up and put me in the car.  He never told me where we were going or what was going to happen.  He took me to a building.  Another man brought me into a little room and strapped me down to a table.  He gave me a shot.  I was scared and crying, because now I realized what was going to happen.

“Then he brought out a machine, like a vacuum cleaner with a…a roto-tiller on the end.  He stuck it up inside me and started moving it around.  It hurt.  I was screaming and struggling, and he was swearing at me and slapping at me, and finally Jim grabbed my hips and pinned me down.  All this blood came out, and it just kept coming out.

“The doctor stuck a towel between my legs, and Jim picked me up and carried me back out to the car.  I cried all the way to his house.  I bled all the way, too.  That night, I had the most painful cramps I’ve ever had in my life.  I was screaming and rolling around for hours.  I bled all over everything, and Jim stood there and smoked and watched me, looking all sweaty and scared.  Finally, the blood stopped.

“Three days later, he took me back to the doctor.  The doctor shoved a little flashlight up me and looked around.  He said, ‘It’s like the craters of the fucking moon up there.’”  Beth grew quiet, staring off into the wall.  “I don’t remember much, really, but I remember him saying that.  And the way he said it.  Kinda laughing a little, you know?  Like it was…funny.”

“Beth—”

“So Jim took me back to his house.  I kept crying and couldn’t stop, and finally he hit me.  Then he got all sorry, and apologized about everything, and then he put me in bed and did some sex to me.  He kept telling me that it was fine now, that I’d never have to worry about getting caught again.”  Beth stopped and it took a few seconds for Olivia to realize the story was done.

“You never told your parents?” she asked.

Beth shook her head.  “I went home with my new moccasins and said I had fun.  I never saw Jim again and I never went back to camp.”

“But you never saw a real doctor, either?”

“What was the point?”  Beth ran her hands through her hair and sighed.  “Olivia,” she said hesitantly.  “I didn’t ever plan to be here, but now that I am, it’s like God gave me a second chance.  Wurlgunn is—”  She uttered a high, incredulous peal of laughter.  “He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met.  He’s not too bright and he’s so clumsy, but he loves me so mu-uh-uch.”  She folded into tears, still trying to speak.  “I used to think he was a monster.  I thought he was ugly.  Now I think he’s beautiful.  And he thinks I’m beautiful.  Me!  If Vorgullum opened up the mountain tonight and told me I could go home, I would still want to be with him and I want to have his babies.  Please!”

“I just don’t know what you think I’m going to do.”

“Maybe you can’t do anything.”  Beth knuckled at her eyes and looked at her hopefully.  “But I know that no one else can.  So I thought that, if you tried, maybe something would happen.  If nothing does, well, I’m no worse off than before.  I just figured, you know, what could it hurt?”

Olivia closed her eyes briefly, but took Beth’s hand.  “I’ll try, okay?  But nothing’s going to happen.  I’m not magic.”