Old Sins Long Shadows (10 page)

‘
Matt says the doors are locked at eleven thirty which means you have nowhere to sleep tonight.’  It was a statement not a question. ‘Matt thought I could help.’ Janey turned on him in horror.

‘
I will not stay at your place,’ she said indignantly. Images of her sleeping under his roof entered both their minds. Daniel gritted his teeth.

‘I don’t remember offering a bed.’  His retort made her blush at her assumption and she looked away, it was her turn to focus on the road. ‘Matt knows that I can get into Bosvenna Manor when it is locked.’

Janey stopped and turned
, her hands on her hips she frowned up at him.

‘
You know how to break in?’ He nodded. ‘Why does that not surprise me?’

‘
Because you have a poor opinion of me, Miss Carhart, although I don’t understand why.’  Janey grunted and marched on.

‘
Did you steal from there?’

‘
I did not.’

‘
But you have stolen before?’

‘
As a half starved child I stole food to survive.’ Her footfall faltered for an instant.

‘
Why would you break in, uninvited, to the manor?’ She couldn’t help asking, breaking into property was just not something she could understand or had come across before.

‘
Who said I was uninvited?’ She turned again to look up at him and for the first time he looked down at her and their eyes met, even in the moonlight she could see how dark his eyes were. He looked away and eased his horse into a walk again. She quickened her stride to keep up. ‘When I was a teenager I knew one of the scullery maids. She’s long gone now, married with two children I believe. If I remember rightly her bedroom was the third along the corridor in the servant’s quarters.’ He heard Janey gasp. She put her hand out to ward off any more information.

‘Mr Kellow, I don’t want to know about another woman you have chosen to spend your nights with, thank you very much.’ If she had looked up at him she would have seen him smile. So, he thought, she had seen him leave with Sally earlier this evening. That gave him satisfaction even though, because of her, the evening had not gone how he had planned.

‘
It means, Miss Carhart, you can be sleeping in your own bed tonight - unless you would rather be sleeping in mine?’  He knew he was taunting her, but she rankled him so he took a perverse pleasure in annoying her. From the look she gave him she would have quite gladly slapped him there and then…if she could have reached him.

‘
How on earth did I get myself in this situation?’ Janey muttered to herself, her footsteps echoing on the road.

‘
I believe Mary had a hand in that.’  He couldn’t help it but feel a little sorry for her. She was still marching on with determination in her step, even though the evening had gone horribly wrong for her. ‘She turned the village hall clock back so you would leave late.’

Her st
eps slowed and she became wary.

‘
Why would she do that?  I thought we were becoming friends.’  She turned on him, ‘It’s all because of you. She likes you but you singled me out.’

‘
I danced with you. I also danced with her,’ he said logically.

‘
She
really likes
you.’ Janey shook her head in disbelief that Mary could be so vengeful.

‘
I’ve known Mary for years. Believe me, Mary likes no one but herself.’

Again silence fell between them
. Daniel noticed Janey’s steps were slowing. She had walked the three miles to the village, danced many times and had another two miles to go, all this after a full days work. Another cool breeze travelled along the road and whipped her skirts around her causing her to shiver. He could see she was tired although she would probably be the last person on earth to admit it. Janey looked defeated. He’d had enough and dismounted, startling her.

‘
You are tired and you are ruining your boots.’

‘
I left my pattens at the hall,’ she mumbled.

‘
They are ridiculous things anyway. Can’t understand why you women wear them. Get up and have a ride back to the manor.’ It was an order not a request.

‘
I can’t ride,’ she protested but he ignored her and moved her by the shoulders to stand by the horse.

‘
No time like the present to learn,’ he said bending down, grabbing her leg and lifting her upwards. She had no choice but to grab the horse’s mane and twist her body so she could sit side saddle.  She found herself looking down at him with a surprised look on her face and the warm body of a horse beneath her. She wasn’t sure what surprised her the most, to suddenly be on the back of a horse or to have Daniel Kellow’s hands beneath her skirt and touching her leg. It did not seem to have bothered him at all for he was getting ready to mount. She slapped his hand away from the reins.

‘
What are you doing?’ she demanded.

He raised an eyebrow at her as if he couldn’t quite believe she was asking him that
.

‘
If you think I’m walking you are quite wrong, Miss Carhart. Scoot over, I’m coming up.’  She did not move but scowled back. ‘You either scoot over or I’m sitting on you,’ he snapped and, with ease born from experience, he mounted and sat snugly behind her, her buttocks between his thighs, his right thigh touching the back of hers. She sat speechless as he wrapped his left arm around her waist while his right took the reins. He eased his horse forward with a click of his tongue and a squeeze of his legs.

As the horse walked she felt his warm chest against her back
. She leaned forward to break the contact, hoping he would not notice, but he did. He firmly but gently pulled her back against him.

‘
Don’t sit forward or she’ll think you want her to gallop,’ he said gruffly. She did not sit forward again but sat stiffly keeping her eyes on the road. ‘You really haven’t ridden a horse before have you?’ She shook her head. ‘Are you scared of horses…or is it me you’re scared of?’

Janey d
idn’t see the point of lying, ‘I think, at this very moment, I’m a little scared of both.’  Daniel hid a smile. She was sweet in her vulnerability when she allowed herself to be.

‘
Well I might be able to help with one if not the other,’ he whispered into her ear. She shivered involuntary at the caress of his breath. To her relief he took it as a sign she was cold and wrapped his coat around her too. ‘Just relax your body and let it move with the motion of the horse. It will be more comfortable for her to carry you if you are more fluid in your movements.’  Her body remained stiff. ‘Close your eyes and feel the movement of the horse,’ he said softly and Janey closed her eyes. At first she was only aware of his body behind her, his strong warm arm about her waist and his hand on her right hip. She kept her eyes closed and soon she felt the gentle sway of the horse beneath and how his body also swayed as one with the animal. She started to sway too and she felt herself relax, her shoulders lowered and the tension she did not know she held, flowed away from her. She was so tired and his warmth wrapped around her helped her to sink into the comfort and protection that surrounded her.

‘
That’s much better,’ came his voice through the night, but Janey was lost in the swaying of their bodies as if they were in a ritual dance. She had never been so close to a man before, images of his thigh touching hers teased her mind and she could smell him, soap, ale and … Daniel looked down at her lost in her own thoughts. Even in the darkness he could see her face clearly, smooth skin, beautiful shaped lips just ripe for kissing and long dark lashes framing her closed eyes. He picked a dead leaf from her messy hair causing her eyes to open. She sat up straight again and this time he let her. It was better that there was a little distance between them after all.

The silence that once more descended made Daniel uncomfortable. It left him with his thoughts that he would rather not dwell on
. He could not, would not, act upon them and he was not enjoying the experience of his mind trying to conquer his body’s natural reactions. He broke the silence hoping conversation would take his mind away from her body.

‘
Are you enjoying working at Bosvenna Manor?’  He was not a man for polite conversation but it seemed to work as she started to talk, which meant he could just sit, listen and ask the occasional question.

‘
Yes and no,’ she replied sadly, ‘I am a lady’s maid and I enjoy working for Lady Brockenshaw but the staff do not like me. I don’t know why. I try to be friendly but it is as if they don’t trust me.’

‘
Why should they trust you?  A lady’s maid position is higher than the likes of Mary. Why would they believe you want to be their friend when you are their superior?’

‘
I’m not their superior,’ Janey argued.

‘
You are by rank, by education, by how you speak. The likes of Mary like to know where they are with people. When someone steps outside their given role it must be for a reason. They become suspicious as they would not do it themselves.’

‘
So I should give up trying to be their friend?’

‘
You should just be yourself and fulfill the role you have.’

‘
You seem to know a lot about domestic service hierarchy,’ she grumbled, ‘Did you learn it from your scullery maid?’

‘
Yes, among other things.’  Janey could only imagine what the
other things
were. She decided not to ask. ‘Why are you so different?’ Daniel asked. He sounded genuinely interested.

‘
I come from Truro and until the age of thirteen I attended St.Christopher’s school for girls and had private tuition from my father. My father was the headmaster of the neighbouring boys school. With it came the schoolmaster’s house, a rich middle class existence and middle class morals.’  She paused but Daniel said nothing so she continued. ‘One winter a scarlet fever epidemic hit the city and my two younger sisters died. My mother never forgave me for surviving. She became bitter at the world and my parent’s marriage started to fall apart. My father would spend days away and at the time I didn’t know why. One night he came into my room to tell me he was leaving. I wrongly assumed he meant he would be gone for a day or two and be back again. He did not.’  She gave the horse a stroke as if comforting herself. ‘Not only did I feel the guilt of surviving the fever I now felt the guilt of not telling my mother he had left. She soon found out, of course. We heard months later that he had been seen boarding a ship in Falmouth docks with a woman bound for America. I can only assume he has made a life for himself out there.’  Daniel wrapped the coat a little tighter around her. ‘Anyway, I digress. Mother was distraught. Within a week of leaving we were asked to vacate the house as it went with the position of headmaster and we had to find somewhere else to live. It was then that Mother discovered my father, who I had always thought the world of, who had called me “his princess”, had taken all of their savings and left us destitute. We moved into a one bedroom lodging house in the poorer part of town. It was all we could afford and my mother, much to her disgust, took in mending. I was sent out to work. At the age of thirteen there is little for a girl to do but go into service, particularly if there is not enough room at home.

‘
My mother blamed me for my father leaving. She said if my sisters had not died there would not have been the strain on the family. You see, it was me that caught scarlet fever first and brought it into the house. My friend had been ill with the fever and I wanted to visit her.  I wanted to give her my doll to comfort her. My mother forbade me but I visited her anyway. I was too young to understand the consequences of my actions. I caught the fever and gave it to my sisters. My mother has never forgiven me.

‘
So from the age of thirteen I have felt that I just don’t fit in, wherever I am. I’m too educated for one class, too poor for the other. It’s not a nice feeling, not fitting in. It’s lonely.’  She bit her lip, she had said too much. She hardly knew him yet she had just spilled her life story to him as if she’d known him all her life. She shouldn’t have said so much. She abruptly changed the topic. ‘I’m sorry for insulting you at the hall tonight.’

‘
I’ve been called worse, although you are the first to insult me to my face.’  She could well believe it. Only a fool would risk insulting Daniel Kellow to his face. She couldn’t help smiling. ‘That’s better,’ he said seeing her cheeks dimple in the moonlight.

‘
I don’t usually go around insulting people. I’m just not used to being manhandled.’

‘
I’m not sure I like my dancing being described as being manhandled,’ he teased.

‘
It was too forward. I didn’t know you. It was,’she struggled with the right words.

‘
Too intimate?’

She wriggled uncomfortably, he wasn’t sure he wanted her to be doing that.

‘A woman likes to become acquainted first before such closeness.’ Janey was aware she was sounding a little pompous but she was only telling the truth as she saw it.