Old Mr. Flood

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Authors: Joseph Mitchell

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OLD MR. FLOOD
BY
JOSEPH MITCHELL

WITH A FORWARD BY
C
HARLES
M
C
G
RATH

ebook ISBN: 978-1-59692-979-1

M P Publishing Limited
12 Strathallan Crescent
Douglas
Isle of Man
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Isles
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email: [email protected]

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Copyright © 2005 by Joseph Mitchell
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Mitchell, Joseph, 1908-1996
   Old Mr. Flood / by Joseph Mitchell.
 
Three short stories
   ISBN 1-59692-114-5 (alk. paper)
 1. New York (N.Y.)—Fiction. 2. Older men—Fiction.
 3. Retirees—Fiction. I. Title.
   PS3525.I9714O43 2005

MPP 2010

Book and jacket design by Dorothy Carico Smith, cover and
author photograph by James Hamilton

Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

 
For Jack and Sandra Mitchell

Contents

Foreword by Charles McGrath
Author’s Note

Chapter 1 - Old Mr. Flood
Chapter 2 - The Black Clams
Chapter 3 - Mr. Flood’s Party

FOREWORD
BY
C
HARLES
M
C
G
RATH

B
ACK IN THE 1970’S,
when all of Joseph Mitchell was out of print, you could with a little luck still come across a used copy of “McSorley’s Wonderful Saloon” or “The Bottom of the Harbor.” At one point I owned copies of both, but then foolishly lent them to friends, who are presumably still hoarding them, just like whoever it was who walked off with the New York Public Library’s sole copy of “Old Mr. Flood,” which today is still listed as “missing.” This present edition is the first I’ve ever set eyes on.

The original “Mr. Flood” is the rarest of rarities, sort of like the mysterious black clams that Mr. Flood, who knows his seafood, is so high on-shellfish so unusual that few people have ever seen them, let alone eaten one. And to extend the analogy in a way that Mitchell, the least metaphorical of writers, never would, the book also resembles the black clam, the Arctica islandica, in being the best and most intense of its kind. This shortest of Mitchell’s books, barely over a hundred pages, is also the most Mitchellian, the one that in distilled and concentrated form sums up all the others. If your library were to contain only one Mitchell book, this should be it, and you should probably chain it down.

I first read “Old Mr. Flood” the way most of us lucky enough to work at
The New Yorker
in the 70’s and 80’s did—in the original three magazine installments, which came out in 1944 and 1945. If you were a young person at the magazine then, reading “Mr. Flood” was a sort of rite of passage. Eventually, if you were lucky enough, some senior figure—Calvin Trillin, perhaps, or Philip Hamburger or William Maxwell—would decide that you weren’t completely hopeless, and suggest that you might want to look at some Mitchell.

His work, like that of everyone else who had
ever written for
The New Yorker
, was collected in a big black scrapbook, the original magazine columns cut out and pasted, family-album style, on large manila sheets that decades later still smelled of rubber cement. The scrapbooks were shelved alphabetically in the magazine’s library, the spines hand-lettered in white ink, and except perhaps for “Salinger, J. D.”, I doubt that any was more carefully pored over than “Mitchell, Joseph.” The pieces collected there were recognizably
New Yorker-
ish, in that they were stylish, meticulous, often surprising and offbeat, but they were also unlike anything else in that entire library. They were in a voice, at once classical and vernacular, that seemed to come out of nowhere (or maybe the part of nowhere that Twain also sprang from) and that none of Mitchell’s many admirers have ever come close to imitating. If Mitchell wasn’t the single best writer who ever appeared in
The New Yorker
, then it was a tie between him and E. B. White.

What added to the mystery and allure of those scrapbooked Mitchell pieces, and especially of the “stories of fish-eating, whiskey, death, and rebirth” that make up “Old Mr. Flood,” was that the author
himself, though he had famously not published for years, came into
The New Yorker
, where he had an office, all the time. A Mitchell sighting was a regular occasion but an exciting one all the same. Joe was formal and courtly: he wore a suit every day-—beautiful worsteds in fall and winter; seersucker when the weather was warm-and either a fedora or a straw hat. He was also shy and a little bit secretive. He once began a conversation with me by saying, “Don’t tell anyone, but I read something interesting in
The Times
today…”

He was a famously good listener, who would nod his head repeatedly at no matter what you told him and say in his soft Tarheel accent, “Ah know, Ah
know.”
But if he felt comfortable and you got him on the right subject, he was also a brilliant and tireless talker. While blotting his head on a hot summer day in a
New Yorker
men’s room, he once astonished me by reeling off from memory entire poems by Elizabeth Bishop. On another occasion he explained to me the doctrinal differences between North Carolina Baptists and Methodists with all the zeal of a Zwingli or a Melancthon. This conversation also took place in the men’s room,
and I was gone so long somebody came in to look for me. But in my experience his favorite subjects were his beloved “J.J.”—James Joyce, that is, whose work he read over and over—and the Fulton Fish Market, the setting, as it happens, of “Old Mr. Flood,” and the place where for some reason Joseph Mitchell, the son of a North Carolina tobacco farmer, may have felt most at home.

Much has been made in recent years of the fact that “Old Mr. Flood” is partly fictional—that, as he wrote in the introduction to the book, “Mr. Flood is not one man” and that these stories, though “solidly based on facts,” are “truthful rather than factual.” In retrospect, it’s hard to understand why people at the time were so surprised. Nowadays, the title and the main character’s name are often taken, wrongly, to be an allusion to Edward Arlington Robinson’s famous poem “Mr. Flood’s Party.” (Mitchell later said that at the time of writing he had never read the poem, which makes it one of very few gaps in his literary knowledge.) But Flood is clearly a watery pseudonym nonetheless, and he shares a birthday—July 27—with the author himself. Flood is a composite, Mitchell says, but he is
also an alter ego, who has countless things in common with his creator: love for the fish market, fondness for a drink every now and then, a habit of collecting stone and iron ornaments from old buildings, a ready ear for a good story, and, most of all, what Mitchell called a “graveyard sense of humor.”

Flood, it’s not too much to say, is Mitchell as he sometimes imagined himself, truthfully if not altogether factually, and the world of the book is a kind of alternate universe—it’s the real, recognizable New York but enhanced a little, so that, for one thing, if you stick, like Mr. Flood, to a sensible diet of whiskey and fish, you really can hope to be a hundred and fifteen years old. The book ends, we should remember, under a full moon, when people, especially “the Irish and the Scandinavians and the people who come up here from the South,” get a little larky and delusional. The dream in this case is an almost Shakespearean one, in which life is transformed by the spell of storytelling.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

THESE STORIES OF FISH-EATING
, whiskey, death, and rebirth first appeared in
The New Yorker
. Mr. Flood is not one man; combined in him are aspects of several old men who work or hang out in Fulton Fish Market, or who did in the past. I wanted these stories to be truthful rather than factual, but they are solidly based on facts. I am obliged to half the people in the market for helping me get these facts. I am much obliged to the following:

Mrs. James Donald, proprietor; James Donald, head bartender; and Gus Trein, manager, of the Hartford House, 309 Pearl Street.

Louis Morino, proprietor of Sloppy Louie’s Restaurant, 92 South Street.

Drew Radel, president of the Andrew Radel
Oyster Company, South Norwalk, Connecticut.

The late Amos Chesebro, one of the founders of Chesebro Brothers, Robbins & Graham, Stalls 1, 2, and 3, Fulton Fish Market, and the late Matthew J. Graham, of the same firm. Mr. Chesebro died in December, 1946, lacking a few weeks of reaching the age of ninety-three.

Joe Cantalupo, president of the Cantalupo Carting Company, 140 Beckman Street. Mr. Cantalupo is an antiquarian; he collects prints and photographs of old buildings in the fish-market district and environs. His company, which was founded by his father, Pasquale Cantalupo, sweeps and hoses down the market and carts the market trash—broken barrels and boxes, gurry, and discarded fish—to the city incinerators. His trucks are decorated with this sign:

“A LOAD ON THIS TRUCK
IS A LOAD OFF YOUR MIND.”

F. Nelson Blount, president of the Narragansett Bay Packing Company, Warren, Rhode Island. Mr. Blount dredges black clams.

 
OLD MR. FLOOD

A TOUGH SCOTCH-IRISHMAN I KNOW
, Mr. Hugh G. Flood, a retired house-wrecking contractor, aged ninety-three, often tells people that he is dead set and determined to live until the afternoon of July 27, 1965, when he will be a hundred and fifteen years old. “I don’t ask much here below,” he says. “I just want to hit a hundred and fifteen. That’ll hold me.” Mr. Flood is small and wizened. His eyes are watchful and icy-blue, and his face is red, bony, and clean-shaven. He is old-fashioned in appearance. As a rule, he wears a high, stiff collar, a candy-striped shirt, a serge suit, and a derby. A silver watch-chain hangs across his vest. He keeps a flower in his lapel. When I am in the Fulton Fish Market neighborhood, I always drop into the Hartford
House, a drowsy waterfront hotel at 309 Pearl Street, where he has a room, to see if he is still alive.

Many aged people reconcile themselves to the certainty of death and become tranquil; Mr. Flood is unreconcilable. There are three reasons for this. First, he deeply enjoys living. Second, he comes of a long line of Baptists and has a nagging fear of the hereafter, complicated by the fact that the descriptions of heaven in the Bible are as forbidding to him as those of hell. “I don’t really want to go to either one of those places,” he says. He broods about religion and reads a chapter of the Bible practically every day. Even so, he goes to church only on Easter. On that day he has several drinks of Scotch for breakfast and then gets in a cab and goes to a Baptist church in Chelsea. For at least a week thereafter he is gloomy and silent. “I’m a God-fearing man,” he says, “and I believe in Jesus Christ crucified, risen, and coming again, but one sermon a year is all I can stand.” Third, he is a diet theorist—he calls himself a seafoodetarian—and feels obliged to reach a spectacular age in order to prove his theory. He is convinced that the eating of meat and vegetables shortens life and he maintains that
the only sensible food for man, particularly for a man who wants to hit a hundred and fifteen, is fish.

To Mr. Flood, the flesh of finfish and shellfish is not only good to eat, it is an elixir. “When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses,” he says, “I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth.” He eats with relish every kind of seafood, including sea-urchin eggs, blowfish tails, winkles, ink squids, and barn-door skates. He especially likes an ancient Boston breakfast dish—fried cod tongues, cheeks, and sounds, sounds being the gelatinous air bladders along the cod’s backbone. The more unusual a dish, the better he likes it. It makes him feel superior to eat something that most people would edge away from. He insists, however, on the plainest of cooking. In his opinion, there are only four first-class fish restaurants in the city—Sweet’s and Libby’s on Fulton Street, Gage & Tollner’s in Brooklyn, and Lundy’s in Sheepshead Bay—and even these, he says, are disinclined to let well enough alone. Consequently, he takes most of his meals in Sloppy Louie Morino’s, a busy-bee on South Street frequented almost entirely by wholesale
fishmongers from Fulton Market, which is across the street. Customarily, when Mr. Flood is ready for lunch, he goes to the stall of one of the big wholesalers, a friend of his, and browses among the bins for half an hour or so. Finally he picks out a fish, or an eel, or a crab, or the wing of a skate, or whatever looks best that day, buys it, carries it unwrapped to Louie’s, and tells the chef precisely how he wants it cooked. Mr. Flood and the chef, a surly old Genoese, are close friends. “I’ve made quite a study of fish cooks,” Mr. Flood says, “and I’ve decided that old Italians are best. Then comes old colored men, then old mean Yankees, and then old drunk Irishmen. They have to be old; it takes almost a lifetime to learn how to do a thing simply. Even the stove has to be old. If the cook is an awful drunk, so much the better. I don’t think a teetotaler could cook a fish. Oh, if he was a mean old tobacco-chewing teetotaler, he might.”

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