Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) (9 page)

“Hold on. We’re
goin’ downhill.” He leaned forward and my body tilted with him. It felt like I was going to go head first off his back. But, I didn’t budge. I closed my eyes and could hear the underbrush as he kicked through it. Then, his feet thudded a few times in the sand and we were on even ground again. I opened my eyes and saw the fire maybe a hundred yards in front of us and lots of people sitting around.

I felt nervous. “Put me down, please.” I flapped my legs to break free, fearful he might not oblige. He did.

“Hey, Owens!” Brett yelled and threw a football toward us.

Zach dropped the cooler and the jackets and caught the ball with a thump to his chest. I loved watching him. Ryan, Grant and Connor all turned after Brett pointed in our direction. I offered a smile and Ryan spun back to the fire without so much as a nod. Jackass. Grant stood and stared with his hands in his pockets.

“Great. Meiers is here,” Zach whispered.

I smiled at his protectiveness.

“Hey Ru…Em.” Grant changed his greeting. I acknowledged everyone I knew and they were nice enough. Except for Ryan. I had a feeling freshmen weren’t allowed, especially freshmen sisters.  As I sat on a piece of driftwood, I counted only seniors. Until I saw
them
walking up from the beach…Estelle, Claire and Jaycee…the queen bees of the junior class…they certainly wouldn’t be happy to see me.

Claire plopped next to Ryan who didn’t seem over enthused to see her either. Plus the threatening glare he was shooting Zach was less than friendly. Estelle squeezed in between Connor and Brett but definitely kept her lurid eyes on Zach.  I couldn’t look. I felt sick as my stomach growled.

“You two want a drink?” Jaycee asked and poured what looked like punch from a cooler.

“Sure, thanks.” I took two Styrofoam cups for Zach and me and handed one to him.

“Em!” I heard in unison and glanced up after swallowing a mouthful to find Grant, Connor and Ryan shaking their heads at me. About that moment, my gag reflex activated and the bitter taste of the drink made me shiver. Zach casually took the drink from my hand as he sipped his. Great, Zach wasn’t a boyfriend but a fifth brother. He opened the cooler and handed me a soda. The girls giggled at what they saw and my back stiffened angrily.

The night grew cooler as the evening passed. Estelle began to act silly, laughing non-stop and dancing around—maybe one too many drinks. She pulled off her shirt and exposed a swim suit top, skimpy at best. It was freezing. Zach was making a point not to look and offered me a smile. I think Connor was the only one who didn’t look away and I almost shouted at him—‘close your mouth Con’—but Ryan’s nudge in the side did the trick.

I hadn’t even considered a swimsuit and wondered if anyone else had.  Claire had gone up to a crate of items and brought down a portable MP3 station and flipped on music.

A shiver rippled through me and Zach grabbed one of his jackets and draped it over my shoulders. It was huge but smelled like him.

“Thank you,” I whispered and smiled.

“Oh. That was
sa-weet.” Estelle remarked then sat next to Brett laying her head on his shoulder but still staring at Zach.

I pulled my knees to my chest trying to ignore her comments. The wind picked up and sparks from the tipi fire followed the breeze landing in the sand.

“Let’s go for a walk.” Zach spoke softly in my ear and pulled me to standing.

I nodded and we headed toward the ocean as he took my hand in his. I walked away from the circle feeling proud but sure seven sets of eyes were on us.

It was romantic and perfect and I feared I would wake up and it would all be over.

“Sorry about the drink. I didn’t know it was spiked until your
guardians
spoke up. Then I tasted it.”
              “My guardians?” I knew who he was talking about but wanted to hear his theory.

“Your brother and his buddies. They are quite protective of you.” The sand squished up between my toes as we strolled. It was soft and cold. I think he was jealous.

“I told you. I’ve known these guys forever.” I glanced up at him.  His height had to border six feet something. I felt like a shrimp.

“Yes. But what you don’t understand is they’ve known you forever as Ryan’s little sister or Runt—as they choose to say. And I think they are beginning to see that you aren’t so little anymore. You’re
not
a runt, Emma. Just like Grant said the first day of school. He saw you this summer—I mean really saw you.” His words seem to insinuate something and I didn’t like it.

“I don’t like Grant,” I explained.

He faced me and tilted my chin up. “I’m not certain they trust me with you.”

“I trust you.” And I did.  I trusted him so much. I wanted him to kiss me.  The moon, the ocean…  “Did you date in California?”

“Yes.”

That wasn’t what I was getting at. “I mean. Did you. Like…you know.” I held my palms open hoping they might catch the words that were not coming.

“Did I have a girlfriend?”

He figured it out. Maybe he understood me more than I realized.

I nodded though I wasn’t sure he could see me.

“There was this girl, Brandy, I dated for a while. We were
supposed
to date. I was the quarterback. She was the cheerleader. But it never clicked. I think we both played along.”

“So why not a cheerleader here?”  My feet kicked the sand around.

Suddenly, he knocked my legs out from under me and caught me in his arms. “I don’t know. I’m kind of partial to cross country runners.” He spun me around.

“Stop,” I giggled. And, he did stop. But he didn’t put me down. He stared at me. His eyes searching mine, and I could feel my heart pulsing in my head. His eyes flickered from mine to my lips and back to my eyes. This was the moment I’d been waiting for. I watched as his tongue brushed his own lips. My heart fluttered, maybe even skipped some beats, as he leaned in to me. His breath was warm and when his lips touched mine, I thought I’d come out of my skin. I took his face in my palms and held it—his skin as silky as his lips. Our tongues touched briefly before he pulled back and stared at me.

My hands were in his hair and I don’t know what came over me, but I pulled him to me again—unable to resist. Thankfully, he didn’t hesitate. He slowly and cautiously moved to his knees and laid me in the sand. His kiss was more forceful than before as he tucked me under him. I felt warm and safe. I could taste the drink from earlier on his tongue.

He kissed me softly, pecking my forehead, nose, cheeks and chin. A funny feeling stirred inside—one that was new to me. Then, suddenly my body betrayed me as a shiver ricocheted through me from head to toe.

He leaned away. “You’re cold?”

“No.” I lied, but chatter rattled my teeth.

“Em. Why didn’t you say something?”

That was the first time he’d called me
Em. He rose off of me and I was sad.  No! I didn’t want this to end. I didn’t care if I froze to death. He easily pulled me to my feet. It wouldn’t have mattered had I resisted. The glow of the fire was farther away than I expected, and now that his body wasn’t protecting me from the wind—my body shook uncontrollably.

“I am so sorry. I should have had you dress warmer.”

“I should know buh-buh-better. I spent the last two months on the oh-ocean.” My words were jerky as my body trembled. We rejoined the group and he made me sit directly in front of the fire between his legs as he rubbed my arms creating friction. The fire popped and it frightened me to be so close.

“Well…how was your little
walk
?” Estelle chimed.

My chin rested on my drawn up knees and I didn’t look at her. He chose to ignore her too.

“We’ve been for walks, haven’t we Zach?” I looked this time, her eyes centered on him.

His rubbing stopped for a moment then started again—his strokes faster.

“ZAAACH…” she sang his name and I felt tears brim in my eyes. I looked at Ryan who would be so angry at me for crying.

“Shut-up,
Stelle.” Ryan warned. He shook his head as his eyes met mine. Then he winked, which I assumed was a surrender to the fight we’d had. Finally. Thank God.

“Oh, Ryan. Silly boy.” She moved close to him, her navel next to his nose. He shut his eyes and twisted his neck sideways away from her, but she still managed to run her fingers through his blonde hair. Claire sat quietly, as she too watched Estelle. “You’re just jealous, Ry. You’re jealous that Zach tapped into what you left behind this summer.”

“You’re a bitch,” Ryan gritted through clenched teeth.

So. They had been together—Zach and Estelle. My chest was caving in or so it felt. I was so scared my tears were going to deceive me and boil over my lids. Zach held my arms now and the rubbing had stopped. I felt his head rest against the back of mine or maybe it was his chin. His breathing was heavy in my ear. I stood abruptly never taking my eyes off Ryan. He’d always been there to protect me and there was nothing he could do. Nothing.

“Em.” He mouthed slowly before his lip pulled into a fierce snarl. “Zach!” Ryan shouted and spit the name off his tongue like it was poison.

Before he could utter another word, I sprinted from the circle. Away from them all.

“Emma!”

I could faintly hear Zach holler.

I wanted to turn and run straight back into his arms but I knew I couldn’t. I also knew, without a doubt, that I could out run him long distance—but damn my short legs—I didn’t stand a chance in a sprint. But I tried. My feet dug into the cold sand and burned with each step, tears falling freely.
Hurry and get them cried out before he sees. Never cry in front of a guy.

I knew it. I knew it. I knew he had been with her.
I felt sick and dizzy and thought for a second I would vomit.
Crap!
I heard his footsteps behind me.

“
Em! Wait!” he shouted gasping for breath.

My chest was tight and my lungs felt ablaze as I sucked in the cold air. I stopped running as I approached the foot of a rocky cliff where I couldn’t pass. Tide was in and salt water sprayed against the rocks then splattered my face as I got too close. With the dangerous rip tides, it was not passable.

When I spun around, he had decelerated to a walk. My tears were dry, thank goodness, and my breaths were manageable, but I could hear the whistle coming from my weak lungs. He bent down, his palms resting on his knees, his back arched. “I am sorry.” he puffed.  “So sorry.” His labored breathing concerned me worse than mine.

I stared at him my eyes unable to hide the hurt. My brow creased, then I tried to step around him. I couldn’t do this. He’d chosen her over me and not even given me a chance.

“Don’t run, please,” he begged, his breathing still uneven. He gently gripped my arm. 

“Let me go, Zach.”

“No. I won’t. Because you’ll bolt up the beach.” He released me anyway, I guess taking his chances, and intertwined his fingers behind his head, still trying to catch his breath.

The bitter wind whirled around me, and I wiped my runny nose on the shoulder of my shirt. “You and Estelle? You were with
her
all summer?” My voice was faint; I wasn’t sure he could hear me over the roar of the waves. It wasn’t even clear to me what I was asking—maybe clarification. Though my eyes stung—I refused to cry again. That would just make him want me less.

His cautious, measured steps in my direction sent me backward without hesitation. The frigid water rolled over my heels reaching the arch of my feet, then receded, but not without stealing my breath. He held his hands up, surrendering, and stepped back.

“Answer me.” My small voice sounded weak even to me. My teeth came down hard on my lip. I wasn’t sure I could handle the truth.

“
Please, let me hold you. I know you’re freezing.” The butt of his fist rested against his mouth.

“Zach—answer me, please.” The water this time surrounded my ankles causing me to gasp as a shiver rippled through me.

He pressed his hands together and rested his chin between his thumb and index finger. He was stalling.

“Yes,” he conceded. “Estelle and I were together this summer.”

Childishly, I swirled around and headed down the beach, my feet splashing carelessly in the icy water as I kicked at the waves soaking my legs.

“Baby, please talk to me.” 

Damn it. There was that baby thing again. I couldn’t sort my racing thoughts. I wanted to hold him, to kiss him, but at the same time I wanted to slap him and be mad at him. I resisted both impulses.