Offside: A Bad Boy Sports Romance (35 page)

“Maybe we should do it then, it might make you realize how much of a complete and utter dick you are.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, I already know how much of a dick I am.”

Tilly holds my gaze for a while before looking away.

“That’s not what I meant.”

I jab my fingers into her ribs to get her attention.

“Hey!” She pushes me hands away and regains her distance.

“Why do you hate me so much anyway?”

“If you don’t know already, I’ll give you a week to find out.”

“Not planning to see me after the vacation then?”

Tilly shakes her head.

“No, not if I can avoid it.”

“Perhaps you won’t be able to.”

“You think I won’t be able to resist you? Landon Maddox, the biggest head in the NFL.”

“Your words, not mine.”

“Your world, not mine.”

“It is now.”

“Not if I can help it.”

I see her eyes dip, caught by something.

“I can see you’re already doing that well.”

“Landon?”

“What?”

“Landon!”

I follow her eyes down to where they are indicating for me to look and realize I’m erect. I’m not just semi hard either, I’m practically poking out of the pocket of my jeans. Tilly puts her hand over her mouth in what is either shock or a damn good impression of it.

“Fuck.”

I knew I was stirring, but I hadn’t realized just by how much. When you’ve got a big dick, it’s kind of hard to hide it sometimes. I can’t help but laugh. I try to reposition myself to hide it, but it isn’t working. I’ve been rumbled. I’ve also been taken by surprise. That’s never happened on any of the modelling shoots I’ve done, so I’ve no idea why it’s happening now. Maybe the body lusts what it knows it can’t have. That would make things a little complicated.

It takes me a moment to realize that Tilly still has her hand over her mouth, not because she’s shocked by what she’s seen, but because she’s trying not to laugh too. It’s her mother’s voice rolling across the garden towards us that finally kills it and brings us both back to reality.

––––––––

T
illy

What a prick. If he thinks I’m going to fall for yet another cheap shot, he’s got another thing coming. After that bullshit wake up call this morning, I’m not going to let him play me like he thinks he is. I know what he wants. He wants me to throw myself at him like every other dumb bimbo that comes under his spell, and embarrass myself in the process.

Well that isn’t going to happen. Even if I wanted it to, it wouldn’t, and just for the record, I don’t want it to. It’s the last thing I want. His hands all over me? That
thing
between his legs between mine? Not a chance in hell. Not even if hell freezes over and we are the last two people on this planet. Not Landon Maddox. Not now, not ever. I wouldn’t give him the pleasure.

We’re going for a walk, as a family, although it turns out in order to get to the beginning of the trail Marvin has chosen, we have to drive there first, for an hour and thirty minutes, along windy paths that look like farmer’s tracks.

We’re not more than twenty minutes from the house before we get lost, find out we’ve gone full circle twice and have to flag a passing tractor down to get directions. I would have stayed at home if I was left with that option, but apparently if I had done, I would have let the team down. Not even family anymore, team. Even more so because Landon seemed so enthusiastic that I came along. Either we all go or none of us go. He’s like a puppy with too much energy that’s decided it won’t leave me alone.

I’m not exactly dressed for it, but neither is Landon. I might not have the country look, but at least I’ve had the presence of mind to wear boots. I’ll give the all star athlete ten minutes before he starts complaining his feet are sore. That should serve him right.

To be fair, the scenery here is spectacular, and although it’s hot, it’s nice to be out of that tiny house and in the middle of nowhere. I thought I’d never say it, but being in the middle of nowhere is actually a lot more relaxing that I thought it would be. I’ve brought my cell anyway, just, you know, on the off chance there’s a signal out here, but I’d be just as happy not being able to use it.

Marvin has selected what he has referred to as a gentle hike, which is supposed to take us past a lake and nature reserve stocked full of a wide variety of different birds and other wildlife with important but impossible to remember names, and back to the car in a kind of oval loop. I had no idea he was such a geek about stuff like this, which makes me wonder briefly whether Landon might not be his biological son after all, until a close analysis of their mannerisms tells me otherwise.

They don’t look all that similar, but they carry themselves almost exactly the same way. It’s curious. Landon’s undoubtedly got swag, but on his dad it comes across as something different. It’s the same movement with a completely different drive. On Landon it comes across as arrogance, whereas on Marvin it’s something more akin to deference. If he paid attention, Landon could learn a lot from his father.

Over the first fifteen minutes of the walk, I find myself watching Mom and wondering how similar the two of us are. I never knew how much of a geek she was either, but with Marvin by her side, the two of them look like a matching pair of nerds. Both of them have their binoculars ready to spy the birds, their trekking boots to weather all conditions, waterproof shorts and jacket, and no doubt a box of rations in case of emergency. She’s nothing like me, thank God. I would die if I ended up like that.

Out here, Landon is like a little child. He’s either running from the end of one field to the next, chasing away birds, picking flowers he shouldn’t or just generally causing mayhem. Actually, he’s more like a little dog than a little boy, because children are generally much more intelligent. Maybe he’s never seen the countryside at all. He’s certainly giving that impression.

Thirty minutes in, when Landon has worn himself out enough, and although he’s not saying it but I know his feet are sore from wearing the stupid team issue flip flops he’s brought along, we all kind of fall into a line and trudge along the sun beated track, Marvin at the front, Landon at the back and Mom and I pegged in the middle.

“I’m hungry.”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

“Did we bring any food?

“Did I bring any food, or did you bring any food?”

“Dad?”

Like I say, he can’t go two minutes without needing some kind of attention. I guess it’s that ego he has to feed.

“We’ll have lunch when we get back home.”

“We have to wait until we get back home? Didn’t you bring any chocolate or anything?”

“No.”

“That’s not very survivalist, is it?”

“You’ll have to catch and kill a duck.”

“I can’t believe we didn’t bring any chocolate.”

We stop for a moment while Marvin points out some exotic species of bird in the air, which Landon and I can’t see because we don’t have binoculars. We all have to wait patiently until Marvin confirms it’s flown over, and all I see are wisps of cloud and hazy lines choked by too much sun. When Marvin has jotted it down in the notebook he carries around his neck, we get going again.

“Mom, since when have you been into birding?”

“Oh, you know, I’ve always dabbled.”

Mom has never dabbled. I doubt she even knows the difference between a goose and a swan, she’s here because Marvin is. I let it go. The last thing I want to do is break her illusion. If she’s happy because he is, that’s fine by me. It’s not my thing, but he’s not my husband either.

“So, Tilly, got a boyfriend?”

Now? He chooses this moment to ask me whether I’ve got a boyfriend.

“Had.”

What the fuck? “Mom!”

“You did have.”

“That question wasn’t for you though, was it?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-. It’s the same answer though isn’t it?”

“Warbler”, Marvin says quickly and stops so abruptly that I crash into Mom and Landon stumbles into the back of me.

“Jesus Christ.”

Again we wait patiently for the bird to fly over and Marvin to jot it down in his notebook.

“What happened?”

“What do you mean what happened? Nothing happened. We split up, that’s it.”

“What did he dump you for?”

This time I’m the one who stops sharply. Landon is smiling when I turn around to him.

“Come on, anyone who says ‘we split up’ really means they got dumped.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Come on, I was just making conversation.”

“Well make it about something else.”

“If it still hurts, maybe you’re not over it properly, and if you’re not over it properly, maybe that’s why you haven’t moved on.”

The Donkey giving me relationship advice? This is rich. If he wasn’t so annoying he might be quite amusing.

“I haven’t moved on because I-. Look, like I say, it’s none of your business.”

“Just trying to be helpful, Sis.”

That’s the last thing he’s trying to be and he knows it.

“Don’t call me Sis.”

“Ok, Tilly, I’m just trying to be helpful. I’m just trying to be helpful, Rachel. Tilly’s a good looking girl, I’m surprised she isn’t attached.”

Landon has a huge shit eating grin on his face when I turn to look at him.

“You’re not the only one. If Tilly found herself a man I’d be over the moon for her.”

“I am right here, you know?”

“What kind of guys do you like, Tilly?”

Alpha-male underwear models? All star athletes? Step brothers? Hmmm, let me think.

“What do you care what type of man I like?”

“Well, you know, I figure we’ve got a week here, we might as well sort out each other’s problems.”

“Problems? I’m not exactly number one in that list, Landon. Maybe we should start with you first.”

“Please do”, Marvin says.

“I hate to break it to you all, but I’m absolutely, one hundred percent problem free. The only problem I’ve got is how to keep myself entertained without going mad for the next six days.”

“You do realize that statement is contradictory.”

“Keeping someone like me caged up is contradictory. That’s like putting a tiger in a zoo.”

Landon Maddox things he’s a tiger. He’s even more delusional than I thought.

“One, you are arrogant.”

“No I’m not.”

“Two, you think the world shines out of your ass.”

“Ok, I do, but not without good reason.”

“Three, you’re attention seeking.”

I can see Marvin nodding even though Landon might not be able to.

“Wait, are these supposed to be negative things?”

I hang my head at the end of a long sigh. It’s like he just doesn’t see it. Either that, or he doesn’t want to admit it.

“Mom, what do you think?”

“I think you two are getting along much better than I could have hoped.”

Ok, Mom is just as delusional. It must be some kind of condition brought on by being in love.

“Marvin?”

Please tell me you agree with me, Marvin. Your son needs an attitude adjustment.

“I’ve been telling him the same for years, but it goes in one ear and out the other. He’s not going to change, Tilly, no matter how much we want him to. Landon is Landon. Far too talented for his own good.”

Talented is not the way I would have described it.

“Alright, my turn.”

“This ought to be good.”

“You let people walk all over you, which is probably why you were dumped.”

I bite my tongue.

“You don’t think highly enough of yourself, which is probably why you look so pissed off all the time.”

This time I can see Mom nodding. I want to believe she’s nodding at another conversation, or just nodding at random, but I know she’s not.

“You’re in denial.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“Tilly, language.”

“I think you know what it means. Your problem, Tilly, is that you’re afraid of what people think of you, so you change the way you behave so you can’t get hurt. You think I’m looking for approval all the time, it’s the other way round.”

“That’s your impression after, what, twenty four hours of knowing me?”

Landon shrugs his shoulders. “I’m good at first impressions.”

“You’re wrong at first impressions.”

“Whatever. You’re the one who’s come here with some kind of ax to grind. I came here to meet my new sister, not tell her how much of a bad person she is.”

“Step sister.”

“There, that. Why does that bother you so much?”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“Tell me what I don’t get.”

“You. Landon Maddox. You’re everywhere. I can’t go a minute without seeing you. Landon Maddox did this, Landon Maddox broke that record, The Donkey fucked another girl, or flashed his dick in another magazine. And all the time I see you with that same cocky smile like you own the world. You have never once given me the impression that you care about anyone else but yourself. You are here because your coach ordered you to come, not because you wanted to get to know us as a family. Because you couldn’t keep your dick in your own pants. You didn’t even go to your own Dad’s wedding. His only son didn’t come to his wedding. You realize how selfish that is?”

“I had a pretty decent excuse.”

“Whatever. I’m not the only one who thinks it. I know Mom’s all rose tinted glasses, but I know how she really feels. She’s being polite to bite her tongue. The world does not stop when Landon Maddox says so, no matter what you think. No one person is as important as you think you are, especially not yourself. If you don’t figure that out soon, you are suddenly going to find yourself with no-one left. Why do you think all the girls you fuck sell their stories? Yeah Landon Maddox has a big dick, but it’s not as big as his ego. I’ll tell you a secret, and every girl will give you the same answer, if it was a choice between both of those things being huge, or both of those things being normal sized, I know which I would choose.”

When I’m done, I’m almost out of breath. Mom and Marvin are far off into the distance and Landon is looking at me like I’m a crazy woman possessed.