Off Limits (8 page)

Trying to bring this across to Ruby was another issue altogether. She did not understand how I could be so not bothered by this non-issue when it troubled her so much.

"We're not cousins," I insisted. Ruby shook her head.

"We are. It's wrong. What would Auntie Sharon think is she knew you were fucking me? My mom would fucking freak out!" she said. I shrugged.

"Mom doesn't care who I fuck. I don't make a habit of talking to her about my partners. Maybe you should try keeping things to yourself a little more? I'm sure your mom doesn't want to hear about who you're fucking, related or not," I said, and Ruby turned a familiar shade of crimson. For some reason seeing her angry, especially given that she was naked on my bed, turned me on. I knew better than to say that to her though.

"I don't tell her about who I'm fucking. I'm just saying, I want to be with a guy I won't be embarrassed to be spotted with."

That one kind of hurt. Women had told me in the past that I wasn't the kind of guy they would introduce to their parents, and that was fair enough. Tattoos, motorcycles and a general distaste for monogamy were three things that most parents didn't seem to appreciate. But to actually be embarrassed by me was new. I was surprised at how angry it made me.

"You're embarrassed by me?" I said, raising one eyebrow and I could see that Ruby had realized how horrible that sounded. A look of guilt swept her delicate face.

"Oh Nate, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's not you, you're great. Not my usual type," she said, glancing at my ink, "But definitely a good guy. I just don't want to explain to people that our mothers are sisters."

I didn't bother pointing out for what must have been the millionth time that Sharon was not my mother. It was pointless now.

"OK Stay here tonight and I'll bring you home in the morning. I'll sleep in the guest room." Ruby's face fell and I wasn't sure why. Wasn't this what she wanted? I didn't wait for her to argue. Instead I stood up and walked out of the room, heading down to my guest bedroom without looking back at her.

Ruby

I felt like an idiot. A complete buffoon.

Nate was handsome, smart and funny. It didn't hurt that he was wealthy either, though that wasn't a priority for me. He was an amazing lover and made me cum harder and more easily than any man had ever managed to do. He was a catch and I had just ruined our relationship.

I lay in his bed in the dark for a long time, before realizing that there was no way I would fall asleep now. So I turned on his bedside lamp and had a peep at his books and magazines. He had good taste, clearly. There were a few classics as well as some modern novels that looked very high brow and literary to me. Mostly he seemed to like nonfiction and biographies of historical figures. I recognized some of them, but there were more that I did not.

I should have read to get my mind off of things but I couldn't will myself to begin. Instead I picked up the lipstick tube from the floor and inspected it, wondering about the woman who owned it.

It was a high end bullet for sure, with its smooth black packaging accented with gold, though I didn't recognize the brand. It was certainly much classier than any of the make-up I owned. Most of my lipsticks had come from the dollar store. The few expensive ones I owned were ones that Trisha had given me for Christmas and my birthday. All of them were sickly shades of pink that looked ridiculous on my complexion. They looked ridiculous on Trisha too but I didn't have the balls to say that to her face. No one did.

I opened the tube. Inside was a deep red color, obviously well-worn judging by the state of the bullet. I wondered about the woman who had worn it. Did she look beautiful? Of course she did, Nate wouldn't have slept with her otherwise. Would he go back to her once he dropped me off in the morning? Maybe. Or maybe he would find some else. That was what I wanted, right?

I let the lipstick tube drop to the floor once again and lay back, willing myself to sleep. By some miracle, I managed to sleep for the few hours that were left before morning. I was awakened by the sunrise streaming into the bedroom. A few moments later, Nate knocked on the door.

"Come in!" I called out and he poked his head around the door. He was even better looking than I remembered. The way he had fucked me last night came to mind suddenly and I felt myself blushing at the thought. That wasn't going to happen again. Not even if I wanted it to happen. Not after last night.

"Hi Ruby. Sorry it's so early, but I have a meeting and I figure that you want to be home as soon as possible. I can make some breakfast if you want?" he said, in an oddly distant tone. I hated it. Though I had insisted that this was what I wanted, now that he was respecting my wishes I wasn't quite sure.

"Oh no, I don't need any breakfast, thanks. And it's not too early. Give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll be ready to go," I said, plastering a big smile on my face. I was disappointed when Nate didn't smile back. He only nodded and closed the door.

I listened to him making his way downstairs before I got up. I had discarded my clothes in the downstairs bathroom and the last thing I wanted to do was go down and get them. I wondered if one of Nate's other girls may also have forgotten some clothes that might fit me, but I was out of luck. I poked through Nate's walk in closets to find a number of finely tailored suits and a great deal of casual wear. I found a red flannel shirt and tried it on. On my tiny frame it looked like a cute dress. I hoped that Nate wouldn't mind me borrowing it.

He barely glanced at me when I got downstairs. He just handed me a black coffee and nodded.

"I borrowed your shirt," I said, "I hope that's OK?"

He gave me a weak smile.

"Sure, I have like ten shirts just like it," he said. I desperately wanted him to add 'and you look cute in it' but I was disappointed.

We drank our coffee in relative silence. I looked around the kitchen, desperately trying to think of something clever to say. I asked Nate where he got his food processor and if smoothies were really as good as they were made out to be. I asked him if he needed to hire a house keeper to keep such a huge space in such good condition. I asked him if he had a busy work day ahead of him. Nate answered every question in monosyllables, never looking up from his smart phone. I wanted to cry but I didn't allow myself. After all, this was what I had wanted.

The motorcycle ride home was a little better as the awkward silence was filled with engine sounds. I wouldn't have minded if it had gone on forever but Nate took every shortcut possible so that we got to my apartment building in what must have been record time. It seemed that he couldn't wait to get rid of me now.

I got off the bike and handed him my helmet. He took it graciously and looked up at me.

"Well, thanks for the shirt," I said. Nate shrugged.

"It was nothing, pal. I'll see you at the next wedding, I guess? Tell Aunt Bonnie that my mom says hi," he said. No sooner than the word 'goodbye' had escaped my lips, Nate had started the engine once again and sped away from me. I watched after him long after he had disappeared from my view. My heart felt like it was breaking. The worst part was that I had done this to myself.

I walked slowly up the stairs to my apartment. This time, Jeff wasn't there. Even Lucy didn't seem that happy to see me, though when I poured her a small bowl of milk she seemed to warm up a little bit. I spent the morning working on the illustrations that I had sorely neglected, trying my best to keep my mind off of Nate.

By the afternoon I felt like I was going stir crazy so I left the house to get a little bit of fresh air. The last thing I needed to develop was cabin fever. After all, I was crazy enough. I found myself wandering to the nearest mall. Though I usually spent my time there browsing through the art shop and lusting after paint and craft materials that I couldn't afford, I felt drawn to the expensive make up store. I usually hated those kind of place. They always stank of perfume and powder, the sales assistants would try to harass my pale ass until I gave in and bought some fifty dollar bronzer and my fellow customers were always viscous harpies who would stamp over their own kids to get twenty percent off. It wasn't exactly my scene.

However, today it seemed relatively quiet and only one sales girl asked me if I'd ever thought about warming up my complexion.

"No thanks," I said, "I'm here to look at lipstick."

I didn't know what lipstick I was looking for but I quickly found the familiar black and gold packaging. I was watching every tube that looked vaguely like the one from Nate's house when my thoughts were interrupted by a voice I had heard before.

"Ruby!" exclaimed Trisha, pulling me into a hug. She smelled like a portable make up store and there was no chance that the sales assistant would be asking her to warm up her complexion, given the interesting orange shade that she was sporting on her skin right now. Even so, I was happy to see her.

"Trisha! You look great," I lied, "But where's your husband?"

It was a smooth way of disguising the fact that I had long forgotten his name.

"Peter? Oh, he hates these places. I'm just doing a little retail therapy," she pulled out a wad of gift cards and waved them in my face, "Wedding presents! I think you’re supposed to use them to buy blenders and microwaves and things like that, but I think the key to a happy marriage is a good foundation!"

She laughed so loudly that people were staring but I went along with it. It was just nice to have some human interaction for once.

"No honeymoon then?" I asked.

"No way! We spent way too much on the wedding," she said, "Anyway, who needs that crap. We can go out to dinner and dancing here and we know that everyone speaks English and that we'll like the food!"

She said all that as if it made perfect sense and I nodded in agreement, though I couldn't have seen things more differently if I'd tried. I'd always though that a wedding was something you did for your family and friends and maybe for your church, to make them feel included and important. The honeymoon was the actual fun part, getting to see a different culture and spend night after night with the person you loved most in the world. Maybe I was being silly and idealistic. The furthest abroad I'd been was Cancun during spring break and it didn't look like I'd ever find someone who wanted to spend all that time with me. Who was I to criticize Trisha when she had the one thing that I couldn't seem to find? True love.

"That's great," I said, smiling, "And it was so worth it. Your wedding was a beautiful experience for everyone involved."

If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. My mother had always said that. I had just decided that she was on to something. My words made Trisha beam with pride.

"That's so sweet Rubes!" she gave a little giggle, "Looks like you'll have a lot to compete with the day that you get married." I didn't let the smile leave my face but this was torture now.

"Yeah, that'll be the day."

Trisha gave me a knowing look. I had no idea what she was getting at.

"Come on Rubes, don't play coy with me. I know about you and your little romance."

My heart started pounding. She knew? Oh god, she must have seen us dancing at the wedding. Maybe she even saw us going to Nate's room together. Trisha was the biggest blabbermouth in my extended family. If she knew, everyone knew.

"Oh god, Trisha please don't tell my mom!" I said, people were staring again so I lowered my voice, "It was a mistake, I didn't know. I feel like such an idiot. I know it's wrong but it won't happen again. I just need you to keep it to yourself."

Trisha smirked.

"OK, I will. But now you know that you can't keep secrets from me," she said. I watched her pick up the shade of lipstick that I had been looking for and swatch it on her hand. She wrinkled her nose at the color, "Ew, it's so vampy. I'm not trying to look like a madam from a brothel."

I swiped the tube from her.

"Yeah, it's not your color. Thank you Trisha, I owe you big time," I said, taking the lipstick towards the checkout. We both said goodbye. I could only hope that she would be true to her word, for once in her life.

“Tell Jeff I said hi,” she winked as she said goodbye. I didn't argue, though I wanted to. She didn't know after all. I was safe.