Of Love and Corn Dogs (13 page)

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“It's been a while, Dare. Are you sure you remember how to do this?”

Darwin stuck out his tongue and put the car in reverse. He backed out of the long, circular drive and put the car in gear.

“See, no problem.”

Driving the car had been more challenging than he'd expected. He hadn't driven himself since he'd turned eighteen. Henley had taken him everywhere, or if Darwin needed some alone time, he'd caught a cab. Now they were doing a refresher course at Henley's insistence. He had to admit life definitely seemed different when you were the one behind the wheel.

Nerves continued to ratchet up as Henley directed them into more populous areas. Traffic in Chicago had him clutching the damn wheel for life. How the hell did Henley do this on a daily basis? Yet his friend seemed oddly comfortable as the passenger, and Darwin took that as high praise.

He relaxed slightly as he got more used to the ebb and flow of the traffic around them. Only twice did he have to slam on the brakes, and then listen to Henley's reminder about Chicago drivers and their definite lack of patience. Still, by the time they returned home, Henley seemed happy with Darwin's progress.

“You did good, Dare. Not sure you should be driving the two of you, though.”

“We'll be okay,” he promised as they stepped into the great room. “No breaking the speed limit, no cutting people off. Just like you taught me. And, Henley? Thank you. I couldn't have done this without your help.”

He hugged his friend, taking comfort in the familiar embrace. How many times had Henley been there for him after Dean had died? Darwin doubted he could count that high. The man had always been at Darwin's side, ready to do whatever needed doing. He'd encourage Darwin when the hard feelings hit him, or he'd kick his ass when Darwin felt sorry for himself.

“Have you decided what you're going to do?” Henley asked.

Darwin knew what he meant. They hadn't discussed whether Darwin planned to tell Ricky the truth about himself on this drive.

“I'm going to tell him. I want to do it somewhere quiet. I'm scared to death, though,” Darwin admitted.

Henley sat in one of the overstuffed armchairs near the fireplace, while Darwin took the sofa. When his friend leaned forward, elbows on his knees, Darwin knew the conversation had only just begun.

“If he can't handle being with you, then maybe you're better off. You shouldn't have to hide who you are for people to like you.”

The words stung, but they were the truth. As much as he enjoyed spending time with Ricky, if he couldn't accept who he had been dating, then it would be best to break it off now, before feelings got too deep, and it hurt more.

The problem? It would devastate him. He wasn't ready to put a label on his feelings, but they were already strong. Not talking to Ricky this week had left him fidgety. He'd wanted to drive over to his apartment and whisk him away for a romantic evening. The honest truth, which he would only tell himself, he wanted to give Ricky everything. He'd never had a reaction this strong. Even when he'd been with Dean, their feelings had started out as friendship and grown into love.

Love.

Darwin knew the truth. Without a doubt, he found himself head over heels in love with Ricky. Yeah, it had only been a very short time, but after losing Dean, he realized how life had no guarantees. If Darwin wanted something, he needed to admit it. And he did want Ricky. Not just in bed, but beside him for the long haul.

“You really care for him, don't you?” Henley asked.

Darwin nodded.

“I'm glad, Dare,” he said as he got up, sat next to Darwin, and pulled him into an embrace. “I haven't seen you like this in far too long. It really is a good look on you.”

“What do you mean?”

Henley sat back, not breaking their connection, and gave him a sad smile. “You think I don't know you? We've shared far too much throughout the years. I remember the look on your face when you realized what Dean meant to you. It took both of you long enough to admit you wanted each other. I know it started out as friendship, but I watched when the two of you would be at the same functions. I could feel the electricity from the back of the room. I knew you were meant to be together.

“When he moved in, your whole life revolved around him. All of us saw the change in you. Where before you'd been more like your parents—cold and aloof—you became warm and caring. We loved seeing the two of you in love. It brought a warmth that the house had never had. And when he died…we all grieved with you. You might have been our employer, but you were family, too. We hated seeing you crumble in on yourself. And we really missed the sunshine.”

Darwin couldn't stop the tears. They streamed down his cheeks, and Henley hugged him harder.

“Let it out. I don't think you ever really did.”

Another truth. He'd cried for his loss when Dean died, but all the hurt and anger at himself for not being there and for the disease that took Dean away knotted up inside him. The thought he couldn't give his heart to anyone else, because it would be too easy to break. He'd lost himself in his work for years, not accepting invitations to parties, making only cursory visits to company affairs, because he'd feared putting himself out there again. Then Ricky had come into his life, and Darwin knew he'd wasted too much time on what might happen.

Henley held him for hours as all the pain and rage seeped out of him, replaced with a calm he hadn't experienced in such a long time. When he finally drew back, Henley smiled. “You really needed that, didn't you?”

Darwin nodded.

“Are you done being upset with yourself?”

Darwin met Henley's gaze. “What do you mean?”

“You were so angry with yourself. Dean dying wasn't your fault, and I think you knew it deep down. But you didn't accept it. You couldn't fight the disease that took him, so you turned the anger you had on yourself. The only person you needed to finally forgive turned out to be you.”

“You waited this long to tell me?”

Henley put their foreheads together. “I tried, Dare. So many times. But you weren't ready. You'd change the subject or walk away. Now I think I understand why. You needed to finally feel again, so you could purge the hurt.”

A weight had lifted from Darwin's shoulders. The difference in his outlook surprised him. The hurt would never really go away completely. Dean had been too much a part of Darwin's life for that to happen. But now he truly felt ready to embrace life again. And Ricky was the one he wanted to embrace it with.

 

“Are you sure you have everything?” Henley asked for the dozenth time.

“Yes.” Darwin took a breath, then started reciting the list of items he had tucked away. “I have my phone, a map in case the GPS unit in the car stops working, credit cards if I need to get gas or for when we stop for food. Pretty sure I'm all set.”

Henley turned to Maria, who smiled at Darwin. “They grow up so fast, don't they?”

She laughed, but Darwin detected a note of pride in her expression. She'd been with the family for nearly forty years, and she loved him almost like a mother. After his parents died, she'd become the person he'd go to when he needed to talk. She'd make them each a cup of cocoa, and then sit there and listen as he poured out his heart.

She raised her hands and shooed them out of her kitchen. They turned and headed for the door.

“No, not you Darwin. Henley, you go find something to do,” she snapped at the man. She loved him, though.

“Ooh, sounds like you're gonna get the talk about the birds and the bees.”

Maria threw a croissant at him, and laughed when he caught it and stuffed it in his mouth. He went over and kissed her on the cheek, then hurried from the kitchen.

“Sit down,” she ordered.

Darwin pulled a chair over to her counter and sat, watching as she chopped tomatoes for her homemade salsa.

“You seem different today,” she mused.

“I feel different,” he admitted.

“I'm glad. For too long you were so sad. I like this look on you much better.”

With his cheeks flaming, Darwin leaned over and took a slice of tomato. “He's so different from Dean. He sees the world in a way I never have. Listening to him talk, watching as his eyes grow big when he tells me a story about something that excites him, or even the smile he shows when he's talking about the kitten he rescued.” Darwin sighed, hoping this trip wouldn't end all that. “I think you'd like him, Maria.”

“What do you mean you think I'd like him? You'll be bringing him to dinner soon. No, wait. If I say soon, you'll think I'm going to forget and put it off. Then I'm going to have to nag at you.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You'll ask him for dinner tomorrow night. No one gets close to my boy unless I get to meet them.”

Darwin laughed, but the expression on her face clued him in to the fact she was dead serious.

“You can't… I mean…”

“Tomorrow,
niño
,” she demanded, punctuating her insistence with a gentle finger poke to his chest. “I'll make him dinner, and you'll introduce us.”

The idea had merit. Then a thought crossed his mind. “Could I invite his mother and sister, too?”

“No father?”

“No, he died.”

“Oh, the poor boy.” She clucked her tongue. “Yes, yes! Invite them all. It's been too long since I cooked for a family.”

“You know, he doesn't really know me that well yet. He might not want to come.”

“He'll come,” she insisted. “Who couldn't love you?”

She turned away from her chopping and grabbed a pen and paper. She glanced over her shoulder and snapped, “What are you waiting for? Go and invite him.”

She laughed, and that had Darwin laughing, too.

“What are you doing?” he asked, trying to peek over her shoulder.

“Making a shopping list. Find out what they like to eat, then let me know. I'll make a cheesecake for dessert. I'll go to the market and pick up some fresh berries, and make some homemade whipped cream.” She gave him a glare. “Don't dilly dally! Get going. And, Darwin? Don't mess this up.” She gave him a smile that never failed to warm his heart.

“Yes, ma'am.” He saluted her and exited the kitchen. He wasn't surprised at all to find Henley waiting at the door.

“Invite him to dinner? Wow. She moves fast.”

“And you're a snoop.”

He shrugged and pushed off the wall. “Where do you think I learned all of the gossip we used to share when we were kids? Like that time the butler got the maid pregnant. Ooh, what a scandal that was.”

“Well he
was
fifty-six at the time and married to the housekeeper. Mother and father certainly couldn't have that kind of impropriety going on under their roof.”

“At least they didn't fire anyone. It really was nice of them to get them all jobs with separate families.”

“That's only because it helped them save face. The scandal could have rocked a lot of lives.”

Henley nodded in agreement.

Darwin rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants. “I should get going. I have to pick him up soon.”

“Last chance. If you let me drive, the two of you can make out in the back of the car.”

Darwin chuckled. “I think we'll be okay.”

Henley wrapped him in a hug. “It's going to be fine, you know. Maria was right. Who couldn't love you?” He paused, then added, “Do you know how you're going to bring it up?”

“Yeah. I'd rather not say, though. It's an idea forming in my head, and if I say it out loud, it's going to sound stupid, and I'll stress about it.”

Henley patted Darwin on the back, grinned, and said, “Then go get your man, tiger.”

Ricky stepped outside his apartment and sucked in a breath of air. It had finally cooled off to the mid-seventies, thanks to a breeze off the lake. The sun shone high in the sky against a pale blue backdrop. He couldn't imagine a more beautiful day. He'd left the windows open, laughing as Merlin staked out a spot in the sun.

When Darwin pulled up, Ricky's eyes bugged out—a sleek white car with a Corvette logo, the hard top down, and Darwin with windblown hair and a sweet smile on his face. The man looked to be the epitome of cool.

“What kind of car is this?” he asked.

“Corvette Stingray. I wanted something special. Do you like it?”

Like? That word seemed too weak for Ricky's thoughts on the car. He'd always loved sporty cars. Their power thrilled him. When he'd been younger, his father would bring home magazines that showed muscle cars, sports cars, and concept cars. They'd sit on the couch and thumb through them, pointing out which ones they wanted. That would be how they'd spent every Saturday morning until his father died. But when he had the money, Ricky would still grab a magazine and relive the good times they'd shared.

“It's amazing. Is it yours?”

Darwin laughed. “No, I rented it for the day. I'm not sure I'd have a use for this car on a permanent basis. Are you ready to go?”

Ricky slid in, brushing his hand across the black leather seat. The interior gleamed, and the display showed all manner of features the car had available: Music, GPS, weather, phone. He couldn't believe how amazing it felt to be sitting in a machine like this.

“Buckle up,” Darwin said. “We're ready to roll.”

Ricky dutifully fastened his seatbelt and leaned back into the plush seat when the car jolted forward. He could feel the power, barely contained, that thrummed through his body. Darwin drove the speed limit, and the car seemed to be begging him to open up, let it show what it could do. Ricky was glad Darwin had driven, because he didn't think he'd be able to resist the car's entreaties.

The view along Lake Drive had always been one of Ricky's favorites. The blue water of Lake Michigan on one side, the spires of Chicago on the other. He felt as though he straddled a line between the two worlds. He closed his eyes and let the wind wash over him. And, of course, he drifted off.