Of Gods and Wolves (32 page)

“What’s going on, boys?” I tried to sound casual but my whole body was trembling like a crack addict going through withdrawals. “Why do I feel like jumping you all?”

“
Do you know what happens when a new male takes over a pride?” Fallon was creeping toward me on hands and knees, sniffing the air. I didn’t like the look in his eyes, or maybe I liked it too much.

“
No,” I backed up slowly. I knew better than to run.

“
The females go instantly into heat,” his voice lowered and his eyes started looking a little weird.

“
So this is the same thing, just with the sexes reversed?” I looked at all the hungry faces and wondered if I’d jumped out of the rape pot only to land in the fires of lust. Out of the gang bang and into the orgy.

“
Yes,” Aidan sounded a little out of breath, maybe it had something to do with him panting like a porn star.

“
Oh fuck,” I whispered.

“
Exactly,” said Darius who had somehow managed to sneak up behind me.

I jumped back and he caught my sleeve, pulling my robe open. The room took a breath and I almost fainted from the sudden lack of oxygen. Instead, I stumbled and Fallon caught me, laying me back tenderly as Darius crawled up my body. I had a sudden flash of Trevor, crawling up me with a playful smile, and I started to cry. I didn’t want to betray him but it looked like I wouldn't have a choice.

My tears stopped the Intare in their tracks. They sniffed at me and backed up, making soft mewling sounds. Lions turned into kittens. Fallon wiped the wetness off my cheeks, then rubbed his face to mine, and Darius pulled my robe gently shut. The lust thinned out of the air, leaving a tremulous peace in its wake.

“
Forgive us, Tima,” Darius helped me sit up. “Sometimes it’s hard to fight the animal inside but our first instinct, above all others, is to protect you. Your tears are our tears. Please don't cry.”

It took me awhile to catch my breath and concentrate on what he’d said. It was like my life was changing every few minutes and I was trying desperately to keep up. My body shook, my eyes still wide, and I was swallowing convulsively.

“Tima?” I frowned as a horrible suspicion crept up behind me on tippy toes. Any minute now it would yell
Boo!
and scare the crap out of me. “That doesn’t happen to mean Queen or Princess or any other royal bullshit does it?”

“
No,” Fallon pulled up a knee to rest one arm on casually. It was amazing how fast they'd gone from passion crazed to calm. From sixty to zero in sixty seconds.

“
Phew,” maybe my instincts were off. I started to relax.

“
It means
heart
,” Darius sprawled out on the floor and stared up at me, in what I was fervently hoping was not an adoring manner, no matter how much it appeared to be. “You’re the heart of the Intare now. The source of our magic and our life.”

“
Oh,” I waved dismissively. “You don’t have to live in fear anymore guys. I promise not to kill any of you unless you try to kill me first.”

“
That’s very reassuring, Tima,” Aidan chuckled but I saw quite a few relieved expressions. “But that’s not what Darius meant. You’re our goddess now and you’ve just inherited not only Nyavirezi’s powers but all her belongings… which include us.”

Boo! Screamed that damn suspicion and I nearly screamed right back, just once I’d like to be wrong. Well, at least when what I’m expecting is unwanted.

“You’re no one's belongings,” I felt my jaw clench in anger. What gave Nyavirezi the right to treat them that way? “You’re all free now. Free to fu… make love to whomever you like and go wherever you want.”

“
Really?” The bald one with the bad attitude was changing his tune. “You’ll allow us freedom?”

“
I’m not
allowing
anything,” I sighed. “You’re free. Period. That was the point of all this, remember? Go off and do… well, whatever you want to do. Spread your wings, little birdies.”

“
You’re not understanding,” Darius finally sat up. “If we run off to be free, you’re allowing it. Whether you like the idea or not, you’re the Tima of the Intare. You’re our goddess and our heart. We can’t survive without you and we can never be truly free. We’ll always belong here… with you.”

“
Please tell me this isn’t a case where you’ll all die if I don’t touch you every month.” What, did every shapeshifting club have that rule?

“
No, it’s not about touching. It’s about control, and without it we won’t die,” Fallon’s eyes were glittering dangerously; “we’ll just go wild.”

“
What?” I laughed a little hopefully. “Like
Girls Gone Wild
or something? Should I get a camera crew to follow you around?”

“
No,” Darius touched me gently and I felt my new power shift to stroke against him through my skin. He looked startled for a moment but quickly recovered and splayed his hand against my skin to feel it better. “More like
men gone crazy.
You hold not only the magic of the Intare but the sanity as well. Without you, we will literally lose ourselves to our beasts. We
need
you to lead us, Tima. To keep us sane. To remind us that we're men as well as lions.”

“
Lead you?” My laughter was slowly turning into hysterics. “I can barely lead myself away from the salad bar. I get into trouble every time I leave the house… Exhibit A,” I waved my hands wide to encompass them all. “And I live with a werewolf who’s not going to be pleased about me bringing home another eighty stray cats.”

“
We’ll continue to live here, Tima,” Darius patted me lightly. I don’t think he was used to a woman getting hysterical on him. “We’ll just need you to check in with us. Often.”

“
How often is often?” I narrowed my eyes on him. “Often as in the way Trevor looks in on his club or often as in how much you need to stir risotto?”

“
I honestly don’t know how to answer that,” Darius’ eyes had gone wide and his voice astonished.

“
The first,” Fallon answered calmly.

“
When did you learn how to speak
Crazy Woman
?” Darius whispered dramatically to Fallon.

“
Hey!” I pushed at him and he smiled at me affectionately.

“
When I started watching the Food Network,” Fallon was completely straight faced. “Risotto has to be stirred constantly.”

“
Wait a second,” I looked around. Nyavirezi’s body was gone and I wanted to hug whoever took care of her remains but we were still one body short. “What happened to Blue?”

“
Gone,” Fallon shrugged. “Traced out before we could deliver the killing cut.”

“
Okay,” I was kind of relieved he was still alive. I can't help it, I'm only human. Wait a second... “Am I still human?”

“
As much as we are, I expect,” Aidan shrugged.

“
Not so much then,” I grimaced as my stomach clenched against the awful truth. What did it mean? “Are you all immortal?”

“
As long as you’re alive,” Darius shrugged, “So too, shall we be.”

“
That’s what I’m trying to find out,” I felt my face wrinkle in thought. I really needed to watch that, the fine lines were creeping in already. Or maybe I didn't have to worry about that anymore. I just didn't know for sure. “Do Nyavirezi’s powers make me immortal? I don’t think Aphrodite’s did, so I guess it stands to reason that Nyavirezi’s won’t either.”

“
I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see,” Fallon shrugged, looking as unconcerned about his possible mortality as Trevor had when he’d gained his.

“
Can I still go out and sleep with who I want?” Baldie had been waiting as patiently as possible for the conversation to head back to where he wanted it, but evidently it wasn’t getting there fast enough for his libido.

“
Yes, er, what’s your name again?” I smiled my lopsided
sorry, I’ve just met eighty werelions in one evening
grin.

“
Alfred,” he actually said it without laughing.

“
Your name’s Alfred?” I vaguely recalled hearing it as something different. “Oh, but I can call you Al, right?” I laughed as Paul Simon sang in my head. Alfred, aka Al, didn’t get it.

“
Yes,” still blank, still lifeless, until he returned to the subject closest to his heart. “So can I go get laid or what?”

“
Yes, Al,” I waved imperiously, like I was the bloody Queen of England granting her knight a favor, “have at it.”

Al didn’t wait a second longer. He ran out of the room with a few men trailing after him. I was kind of surprised I didn’t hear any
Yippees
to go along with their excited exit. They all but skipped from the room. I laughed at how much they resembled a college fraternity set loose. Frat boys with the strength of lions. Sigh. No good could come of it.

“
They’ll be okay right?” I watched them leave with a little concern. “They have spending money and, er… protection?”

Aidan laughed but beneath the laughter I caught a hint of growing affection. “She’s already a better Tima than Nyavirezi.”

I looked at Darius questionably but he wasn’t laughing when he answered me. He actually seemed very serious. “Nyavirezi never concerned herself with our needs. That you would think of such trifling things as money and condoms for Al, shows what kind of leader you’ll be. I’m thankful you came to us, Tima.”

“
I don’t know how long that will last,” I rubbed at my head and instantly hands were on my shoulders, kneading away my tension. “Oh, uh, thank you.” I sighed and relaxed a second before I remembered that I couldn’t sit there dawdling, when my friends and my lover were probably wondering if I was even still alive. “I really need to go home guys. I’m sure everyone is concerned and Trevor must be climbing the walls.”

“
Of course,” Darius stood and pulled me up as well. “Fallon and I will accompany you.”

“
Ah, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

“
They will have questions,” Fallon said matter-of-factly, “some of which you’ll not know the answers to. I think Darius is right, we should escort you.”

“
Alright, but no fighting,” I started out the door and then stopped abruptly. “Do either of you know where my gloves are?”

When I got home, it was to find my living room full of gods.

“
I think this room has exceeded divine capacity,” I announced.

They all stood with different degrees of shock on their faces. Trevor was the only one who recovered enough to rush forward and swing me up into his arms.

“By all that’s holy!” He buried his face in my neck so the rest of his words were muffled. “I knew you lived but we couldn’t trace in. Nyavirezi had her home warded well. I was going crazy, Minn Elska, knowing she was going to kill you and not being able to do a damn thing about it.”

“
That seems to happen to me a lot, huh?” I stroked his thick hair as he let me slide down his body till I felt my feet touch the floor. He rubbed his face along mine tenderly before pulling back. My wolf was finally happy.

“
How many times do I have to tell you, not to do that to me?” There were signs of strain all over his beautiful face and I smoothed them away gently with my fingers. He sighed as he closed his eyes.

“
I told you all she’d be fine,” I heard Horus say flippantly but there was a note of relief in his voice.

“
Shut up, Horus,” Thor thundered and came forward to kiss me on the cheek. “We’ve all been here trying to come up with a plan to get you back.”

“
My heroes,” I sighed dramatically.

Then the rest of them were hugging me and welcoming me home. What a change from the days I hunted the gods alone, coming home to a cold house and a warm cat. I'd be lucky if the cat didn't yell at me.

When we all gushed in relief enough, we sat down and Trevor went to make a pot of tea for me. Persephone sat next to me and eyed the bloodstains on the robe I still wore. 

“
I had a bit of an altercation,” I smiled grimly and told them what happened with Nyavirezi, Blue, and the Intare.

“
Vervain,” Trevor groaned. “Why can’t you stay out of trouble for five minutes?”

“
Oh, I’m sorry, is my life inconveniencing you?” I couldn’t help it, saying it once was excusable but twice was making me mad.

“
Rouva,” I saw his jaw clench as he inclined his head slightly. “You know I meant no disrespect.”

“
Oh, stop with the Rouva thing,” I threw my hands up and fell back against the couch.  “All I’m trying to say is, it’s not like I intentionally go out shouting ‘Someone try and kill me please’!  I’m trying my best here, Trevor and I could use a little support.”

“
So, you think I’m not supportive enough?” His tone went low and his eyes were starting to glow.

“
Fuck,” I rubbed at my face. “Where the hell did this conversation take the turn into Splitsville?”

“
We’re not breaking up,” Trevor growled.

“
Well that’s the end of the line for the track we’re currently on,” I sat up and sighed. “I’m not saying you don’t support me, I’m just saying that blaming me when shit happens is not conducive to a loving relationship. I need your help here, and I don’t particularly like fighting with you in front of everyone. So what’s it gonna to be?”

“
Shit, Vervain,” he shook his head. “Having a fight doesn’t automatically lead to ending a relationship. Who taught you that?”

“
Huh, really?” I frowned as I rethought my idea of relationships. Usually I got involved with someone, did something to mess it up, we yelled at each other, and then it was over. Isn't that how it works?

“
Yes, really,” Trevor took my hand and squeezed it. “The healthiest relationships aren't with couples who never fight. They're with couples who know
how
to fight and how to compromise. I can accept the fact that you're a walking magnet for supernatural trouble if you can accept the fact that I have trouble dealing with you in trouble.”

“
Okay, deal,” I grinned in relief. “Now what do I do about the Intare?”

“
You’re lucky you’re alive,” Thor’s deep voice rumbled through my chest. “I told you not to try taking another god’s power. How are you feeling? Are you dizzy at all, breathless?”

“
I’m fine, Thor,” I slumped over my tea. “I’m a little tired, a little sick of shapeshifters telling me they need me to survive, but other than that, I’m great. A lot better than I’d be if I
hadn’t
killed Nyavirezi.”

“
Okay,” Thor held up his hands, “point taken. I don’t want to fight with you either.”

“
I’m not trying to start fights,” I clawed my hands though my hair and roared in frustration. Yes, roared.

Everyone sort of sat back a little and stared at me in fascinated horror. The funny thing was, I didn’t even realize what I’d done at first. Occasionally when I fought, I’d growl like a wolf or snarl like a jaguar. That little piece of Trevor’s soul or my Nahual would surface and help me out. This roar was all lion though, and everyone knew it. When it finally sank in for
me
, I raised my pale, horrified face to my friends.

“
What the hell was that?” I looked at Trevor who was looking a little pale himself. Were wolves afraid of lions? I guess if they had any brains, they would be. Lions seriously outweigh them.

“
I think your new power is having some side effects,” Thor answered for Trevor and I looked toward him for more help, more answers. “It may be what’s shortened your temper as well. Try to breathe deeply and acknowledge the lion inside, let it know who’s in charge but make it feel welcome. Like a child, you must discipline it, rein it in.”

The steady sound of his voice calmed me, cleared my head, and I was instantly able to use the technique Teharon taught me to take look inside and see each part of my powers clearly. The butterflies of my love magic played around the sleeping wolf. The lioness sat proud and defiant in her corner, eying the shining Victory with interest. War sort of sat back in the shadows, a churning mass waiting to be called, and Lust swirled deep red in my center, watching everything with lazy curiosity.

I took a deep breath and called to the lioness. She cocked her head to the side, looking at me suspiciously. Then from the dark below, I felt something stirring and the lioness felt it too. She sank into her haunches, wiggling in anticipation of attack, as I sifted through the shadows blindly. There was another presence, another magic that was so much a part of me, I'd forgotten to bring it into the mix.

My Nahual.

As soon as I remembered her, my Nahual came forward and seemed to light every dark recess with her presence. She was a white jaguar with golden spots and rich, brown eyes. My soul given shape, a light that could connect me with myself, if I ever lost my way. She was more me than I was, if that makes any sense. The magic I was born with, my spark, and I'd forgotten her.

I accepted the feelings of guilt over the sleight but she only glowed brighter,  those dark eyes twinkling with humor. Guilt was unnecessary, silly even, when you were dealing with yourself, it seemed. My Nahual was there for me no matter what, she
was
me, and there was no forgetting her, only remembering. Now I was remembering.

Even though she'd made an appearance when I'd gained the lioness magic, I hadn't consulted her for guidance. I'd just figured they'd all learn to get along but now I realized that I needed more than a truce inside me. I needed unity. That kind of cooperation didn't come from just leaving warring factions alone. It came from mediation.

The jaguar looked on with approval as I sent a wave of warmth to the lioness but underlying the welcome was my determination to remain in control… of my life and my magic. I opened my soul to her, so she would know the type of woman she now inhabited and I felt her reach through me, sniffing out the secrets of my heart. When she was done, she lay down and rolled onto her back, offering me her belly like a trusting cat. I mentally stroked her and gave her the love that was needed to bind us together. A vibration rumbled through me, bringing an amazing peace. She was purring.

A rushing wave of energy flowed out from my Nahual and enveloped the other magics, connecting them together in a circle of light. It pulsed brighter and brighter but within the light I could still make out the forms of the individual magics. They glided to my jaguar slowly. The darkness of War was absorbed instantly, then Victory followed quickly with the flash of steel. Lust was orange heat, swirling low around the jaguar and curling into her belly but Love was a flock of butterflies diving straight to my Nahual's heart and leaving a pulsing blush on her coat. Finally, my wolf and lion approached together.

The three animals bowed their heads together and where they met, the light flared with a burst of colors. A true union had been forged, a trinity previously unknown. Jaguar, wolf, and lion. Jungle, mountain, and plain. Soul, heart, and body. Each represented something different and special to me. I saw the pattern clearly in the light of their joining. The light that grew brighter and brighter.

My eyes popped open with a sharp inhale.

“How long was I out?” I asked the intent faces around me.

“
Just a few seconds,” Trevor’s brow was wrinkled deeply and I reached up automatically to smooth it again. His smile was full of relief. “It worked.”

“
I think so,” I reached a hand out to Thor and he took it with a half smile. “Thanks for the advice. It’s getting a little crowded in there but I think I can handle it now.”

“
I know a little about shifting from my father. It's different than being born a Were,” he nodded to Trevor. “If you'd like, I'll have Odin come speak to you about it. He could give you more pointers than I.”

“
I'd appreciate that,” I smiled gratefully at Thor but part of me was nervous about seeing Odin again.

Then I remembered the lions.

“So any suggestions about my Thundercats?” I looked over at the others hopefully.

“
Nyavirezi’s shapeshifting ability was created through magic,” Teharon said thoughtfully. “So you should now be able to create more lions through the magic.”

“
Yeah, Darius told me about all that. Evidently, I can also use it to kill them.” I grimaced. “But what about all his talk on how I need to lead them and how her home is mine now?”

“
Well it is,” Pan piped up. “All her stuff is yours. To the victor go the spoils. How cool is that?”

“
Who’s Darius?” Trevor’s voice had an undercurrent of a growl and I turned to him sheepishly. Not a good way to approach a wolf.

“
One of the werelions,” I smiled hesitantly.

“
Which werelion, was he at the battle?”

“
Well of course he was at the battle,” I sighed. “They all were. She commanded it and they had to follow her or die, basically. Well not anymore.”

“
Now they follow you?” Trevor’s growl was becoming more pronounced.

“
That’s what I’m trying to figure out, Trevor,” I nudged him playfully. “You wanna give me some suggestions?”

“
Tell them all to take a flying leap?” He grinned maliciously.

“
Trevor, please,” I poured myself another cup of tea. “I need to know what’s going to happen to the Intare if I walk away. Darius says they’ll be too close to animals without me, so they can’t rule themselves. Does anyone know if that’s true?”

“
I’m afraid it is,” I was a little surprised that Brahma was the one to answer. “You need to lead them, Vervain. If you don’t, we’ll have a bunch of wild werelions on the loose.”

“
Wow, wild werelions,” I scrunched up my face. “Try saying that three times fast.”

“
This is serious, Vervain,” Thor ground his teeth.

“
You think I don’t know that?” I took a deep breath and pushed the lioness back down. Boy she sure had a temper. “It's either laugh or cry and I don’t like crying.”

“
Fine, laugh it up,” Trevor had evidently been stewing about the damn lions, “but you’re not moving in with them.”

“
Sweet werewolf lovin’,” I swore. “Will you listen to yourself? I don’t want to live with them. I’ve got enough crazy shifters in my house as it is.”

“
Okay, Minn Elska,” finally his Trevor smile was back and so was his hand on my neck. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m getting upset over some man I’ve never met. What happened to that lion who drug you off by the way? I’d like to get my hands on him for hurting you.”

“
Actually, you should be thanking that lion,” I grimaced again. I couldn’t blame Trevor, hadn’t I wanted to do the same thing? “His orders were to kill me. He knocked me out instead.”

“
And you know this how?” Trevor’s eyes narrowed.

“
Because he told me,” I counted to ten before I continued. “It’s Darius, he was the one who helped me and urged the others to back me in our plan.”