Ode to the Queen (10 page)

“Just think about booze and music and you should be able to find the club tonight.” He broke the spell, offering me a smile.

“Okay, is there a dress code?”

“Not really, but I will insist that if I’m to escort you, you must look the part.”

I laughed, “What does that mean?”

“You must look like you’re being escorted by the Prince of Darkness.” He laughed, which in turn made me laugh too.

“Prince of Darkness? Is that what you call yourself to amp yourself up or something?”

Another laugh escaped him and he shook his head, “nah, but I thought it sounded a lot cooler at the time. Now I realise I sound more like a prick than before.” I laughed more, as I shrugged slightly.

“Sorry, I’m terrible at this.” He said sheepishly. We both laughed again and for once I finally felt at ease about this whole situation. I knew Griffin was just as uncomfortable about everything as I was and yet here he was making me feel a lot better about it than anyone else had bothered to do.

“It’s alright, I know what you mean. I will try my best to meet your standards.” I pushed myself to my feet and smiled at him. “Thanks, you don’t really have to do this, so I appreciate it.” He shrugged with one shoulder and I smiled again, turning to the door to see myself out.

Only at the door did I pause and glance back at him, “so what time are we meeting at?”

“Ten’s good for me.”

I nodded, “me too.”

Shooting Griffin another smile I slipped out the door and back into the hallway. It was nice to know amidst all this, when most people were happy to just keep their own heads down and stay out of everything, I had one person willing to be my friend; even if it was the so-called Prince of Darkness.

There was a voice in the back of my head that was still worried. I couldn’t truly trust Hades not when he was characterised by myth for hating Zeus and everything that was to do with him – including his wife. But I had very little options when it came to allies, especially with Charlotte’s latest plot.

I needed to figure out a way to get back at Charlotte for the things she’d said earlier. I also wanted to knock her down a few pegs in order to remind everyone just exactly who was and was not the rightful Queen around here.

Charlotte especially had to learn the difference between these two things in the most effective way possible.

But before I got to dealing with and worrying about Charlotte and Hunter I needed to find Aidan. My pride alone desired I tell him what everyone was saying wasn’t true. I also wanted to thank him for standing up for me. It wasn’t much but it was a start, considering he had been so adamant from the beginning that he too didn’t like the idea of being told we were supposed to be married now that we were Godly soul mates.

I think a part of me as well wanted to show him who exactly his so called girlfriend was, because breaking them up would only be the icing on the cake in my evil plan to bring down Charlotte.

Like a sixth sense my conscience led me back to the penthouse and before long I found myself outside his door, resolution steeling my posture as I knocked. I was still very sure this was all a good idea, how wrong I was about to be proven.

I could tell he had been drinking upon opening the door and smelling the alcohol rolling off him. My eyes ran up the length of his body taking in his unusually disheveled appearance before my eyes settled on his deep blue ones.

For a moment we stared at each other and it felt almost as though I was having a conversation without him even saying anything. After a moment he stepped back, opening the door for me and I let myself in, taking the door from him as he walked away, and shut it behind us.

“You know, if you go off and sulk like this every time someone threatens to steal your throne you’re probably going to be wasted out of your mind for the rest of eternity.”

“Har har, you’re funny. What do you want?” His tone was cold but it lacked the anger that it had previously bore in the room with Lincoln and Hunter.

I followed him over to the couch and sat down on the arm, looking at him as he took another swig of some caramel coloured liquid in his glass. In that precise moment he looked vulnerable. He was small and defeated; worry creating fine lines in his otherwise perfect skin. Aidan was the kind of man who didn’t like anything to get under his skin. He liked being in control and having the power over situations. Earlier today the startling realisation that he didn’t in fact control anything had been made clear to him; this was the consequence.

“Thanks, for earlier.” I finally said with a soft sigh, feeling the resonating sting in my pride. He turned to look at me, his eyes finally taking me in as he usually did before he looked away again.

“That had nothing to do with you, but I can see why you’d think it did. You do have a tendency to think the world revolves around you.” I felt my body tense, ready to react as I usually did when I felt I needed to defend myself. My jaw tightened, as did my fists. I shoved them between my legs to hide them as I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was probably a bit drunk.

“Right… And the whole discussion of the
prize
had nothing to do with the fact that I’d be the Queen the King would get.”

“You’re not Hera though.” He said simply, reiterating the very words I had so passionately thrown at him many times.

“We both know that’s not true… I might have denied her but she’s always been there… That’s why we have trouble getting along for any longer than ten minutes.”

“Well, if you’re Hera or not,” Aidan said carefully as he rose from his seat, his eyes dragging over me once more, “that doesn’t automatically make you my Queen. I still get to choose who gets the crown on their head and why would I want an attention
whore
like you?”

The emphasis on the word whore threw me off and I realised then that all the things he’d said in front of people hadn’t been to my defence. He thought they were true. He wanted to defend his own honour because everyone still thought I would be Queen if he were King. My actions were simply a poor reflection on him and he was just trying to clear his own name. It had nothing to do with feelings, or caring about me…

I could feel the burn of tears behind my eyes. I felt stupid for not having seen it sooner. But I had resolved to come here and tell him the truth so that was what I was going to do.

“You know that’s a lie.”

“I heard it from Hunter himself.” He shrugged, grabbing his bottle and pouring another generous helping into the glass. “Why should I believe you over him? He was very detailed…” His eyes fell on me again, scrutinising my ability to do whatever Hunter had said I’d done. “It was very convincing…” He took a deep swig of the alcohol before setting the bottle down and walking past me to his bedroom.

“What did he say I did?” I followed after him, the need to know outweighing the need to get out of there and save myself while I still could.

“Some things I have no interest in repeating for you but there were no doubt a very candid reflection of all your pent up daddy issues.” My jaw slacked as I watched him pull his shirt off, working to get his pants off next.

What did he know about my father and any issues I may or may not have with him? He had no right to bring those things up or speculate on them and he certainly had no reason to say something so harsh to me.

“I came to say thank you and this is how you react… I can’t imagine what you’re like when someone does something nice for you.” I struggled to remain calm and collected, my voice wavering as something inside of me tried to break free. I didn’t want to give him the pleasure of knowing he had gotten to me but the more he spoke the more I wanted to react.

“I don’t expect anyone will do anything nice for me so there’s really no need for me to prepare myself for that reaction. Besides, I didn’t do anything you should be thanking me for. No one called you a whore for sleeping with Hunter. And if they did it probably has more to do with how you act. The moment rumours start to spread about you and me? Well, I won’t be so swift to defend your honour. I’m not that nice of a guy, even if we don’t sleep together I have a reputation to uphold. I’m not going to stop anyone from thinking I haven’t had a piece of what’s rightfully mine.”

I stared at him in horror, my stomach curling into a tight ball as I began to seethe. What made him think I was “rightfully his”? Even if I was Hera and he was Zeus we were still living in the 21
^st
century and Greek politics aside, I still had the right to choose for myself.

He grabbed a new pair of jeans and slipped them on before reaching for a nice dress shirt. He only looked up at me as his hands worked their way upwards along the buttons.

“Why are you still here Savannah?”

It was a good question but I couldn’t move, let alone process anything correctly as his words played on repeat in my head. Every syllable echoing and taunting me, making each time hurt worse than the last. It took more courage than I knew I had to gather myself, preparing to defend myself.

“You know, just because someone tells us we’re supposed to be husband and wife some day doesn’t mean you have to let history repeat itself. We didn’t have to play along but we could’ve at least got along. Instead you’d rather just be a prick with his head too far up his ass to spot an ally when there was one. But if you feel better off being alone Aidan then good luck. When everyone stabs you in the back I hope you look back on this moment and regret everything.”

It wasn’t the fatal blow I was hoping for, something to make him hurt the way he hurt me, but it was something. I hoped it would be good enough to maybe make him realise that pushing me away wouldn’t be the answer to his problems. Of course, I didn’t exactly know what those problems were.

I knew at the very least they had something to do with being here and being told he was now a God whose throne was constantly going to be challenged; that he had a wife he was meant to contend with and be with; that life as he knew it had been predetermined for him. But I also could guess that there was something under the surface that made him deliberately push me away. As if I alone held all the power in the world to hurt him.

I didn’t want to make excuses for him though, because he had chosen to say the things he had and that certainly didn’t make it okay nor did it help to make it hurt less. I’d known all along that he’d hurt me, even if he hadn’t done it in the way I expected.

I turned; ready to leave. I had a date tonight with Griffin who was going to take things like Aidan off my mind, if only for the night. I didn’t need to be here to endure any more abuse from a self-destructive man. He could go down but he wasn’t going to take me with him.

I had stood my ground and not given in when I could of. I hadn’t let myself fall in love with him, had I? But as I made my way to the adjoining door I realised that some how, in some way, I had fallen for him.

It was stupid really. When had he ever given me hope that there might be something between us? Never, was the answer. He only saw me, as he saw every woman in this place, as a conquest. He berated me and embarrassed me more times than Charlotte probably had and yet still I cared for him.

Maybe it was because I’d always been desperate to believe that somewhere out there someone would fall in truly, deeply, madly in love with me the way I would him. And by being Hera and Zeus this might be my chance to have true love. It was a sick, romanticising of a historically abusive relationship but hadn’t they also loved each other in some way? Couldn’t Aidan and I build from that and have a real relationship?

I shook my head, stopping myself from delving into this any further. Of course not: this wasn’t love, nor was it history repeating itself.

Just because they had been together in a former life didn’t mean they had to be together in this life. As attracted to him as I was, she was also repulsed by the idea that two thousand years still hadn’t changed him.

Maybe it was best he was pushing us away before we got in too deep. Maybe this would save us the inevitable pain we both expected.

“If that little lecture was supposed to scare me and make me rethink my ways, sorry Queenie it didn’t work. I like being alone and having to rely on no one else but myself. It got me far in my old life and it’ll do me just fine in this one. So, no. I won’t be looking back and going ‘gee golly gosh, I should have listened to Savannah she was right after all.’ Besides, why would I want an ally in a woman who can’t even defend herself?”

I stopped in my step, my body tense as though someone were shooting at me.

Turning in place I faced him as he continued, “I fight your battles for you because you’re the one with her head up her ass who can’t even see no one likes her. She’s so pathetic and desperate for attention that no one wants to be around her. You’re useless; don’t you know that? Even your Goddess is useless. What is childbirth going to do in a war? Are you going to summon your menstrual cycle to wash out the evil in the world? Hera’s perfect for you because you’re both spineless, obsolete and petulant.”

I tried to tell myself he was drunk, he didn’t know what he was saying. But to prove me wrong he continued viciously and unnecessarily.

“You might not see it but history is repeating itself. Zeus was stuck once with a wife who forced him into marriage when she knew he couldn’t commit. Even now you try to guilt me into
befriending
you as though that’s going to help your social standing. You’re always needy and desperate for attention. You hate not getting your way, which is no doubt why you crawled here hoping for an
ally
. Well guess what Savannah, I’m not your friend and I never will be. Stop deluding yourself and open your eyes, Queenie… If you’re really the Queen of the Gods start acting like it and stop being the pathetic waste of space you are.”

The words felt like they were never going to stop. Even by the time they did, the tears were steadily flowing down my cheeks. He picked apart my every flaw and laid them out on the table for examination before putting it all back together in the wrong place. I wanted to run, hide and cry until I couldn’t anymore but something inside of me told me to fight back, prove to him I wasn’t spineless and stand up for myself.

I didn’t need him to defend my honour and I didn’t need his partnership. I could do this on my own, I was a Queen in my own right and I had as much claim to that throne as he did.

Sniffing I wiped my cheeks, brushing away the teary trails before staring up at him and steeling my spine.

“Maybe I am desperate for attention sometimes; maybe I do need someone to look at me and tell me I’m beautiful but I do not go out and sleep around with just anyone for the sake of that reinforcement. At least I know the value in loyalty instead of leading someone on and letting them trust you while you walk all over them behind their backs. You’re the coward here Aidan, you can’t even be real to a single person and let them in because you have a ‘reputation’ to uphold.

You’re just a washed up twenty-something year old man who did nothing with his life and is painfully aware of it. So he buries himself in sex and booze because he thinks he can still get away with it because he’s ‘hot’. But I see you for what you are, you’re the pathetic piece of scum who will never amount to being anything more than what his own father was.”

I didn’t get much chance to say anything after that because something in him snapped and his hand lashed out, grabbing me around the neck and slamming my back into the wall so hard stars drifted behind my eyes.

“Don’t you dare tell me I’m like my father. I am
nothing
like that useless, lecherous waste of space.” My hands clawed at his as I looked up at his face, but the eyes staring back at me no longer belonged to Aidan, the blue was more unnaturally blue than usual and there was a storm in them.

This was Zeus.

And he did not like being put in his place by his wife or by anyone.

Something in me told me two could play that game and I suddenly grabbed the hand closed around my throat and twisted it like an expert. He released me with a start and I used the moment of surprise to throw him away like a rag doll across the room.

“But that’s exactly what you’ve become. It’s the tragic Oedipus story starring Aidan Cartwright. You tried so hard to fight fate and in the end it caught up with you, making you exactly what you tried so hard not to become. You’re no better than the pathetic man who spawned you and you know it. It’s the only thing you have left driving you to be better but you never will be. You’ll always be a sad little boy who will never, ever be loved.” This time it was me towering over him, a shiver of pleasure coursed through me at the feeling of utter control I was wielding.

“And if you ever touch me like that again I’ll cut both your hands off.”

If he was going to say anything else to me he didn’t get the chance as I turned and made my way to the adjoining door, letting myself back into my own apartment. I slammed the door shut behind me for good measure before all the adrenaline suddenly wore off.

I became distinctly aware of how badly I was shaking and the guilt of all the mean things I’d just said swept over me. I couldn’t believe what had come out of my mouth but I could remember saying them all without even the slightest concern for the effect they would have on him.