Odd Billy Todd (56 page)

“Either. Both.”

“Billy’s right quiet,” Mary replied. “Ain’t said prob’ly ten words since he got back. Been readin’ that book since he got Rommel situated. Readin’ ‘bout dog injuries and such. Rommel’s pretty beat up, but might be okay, maybe, according to what Amy said. She stitched him up, Billy said,” the girl added.

“Thank goodness,” Rhonda sighed. Her greatest fear had been to get home and find Rommel had died.

“Reckon Billy’s a might touchy at the moment,” Mary added. “He ain’t. . .he ain’t been ugly, mind, but he ain’t what you’d call over eager to speak to nobody, neither.”

“Especially me, I’d imagine,” Rhonda nodded. “Get Danny and put these things away. And don’t peek. Please.”

“We won’t,” the girl promised. She went to find her fellow orphan. Rhonda stood in the study door, peering in at Billy, deep in concentration over the book in his lap. Every few seconds, he’d look up at Rommel, and then back to the book.

“How is he?” Rhonda ventured to ask.

“He’s alive,” Billy told her curtly. “Hopefully he’ll stay thatta way. Ain’t no way to know save to wait on it.” He never looked up.

“Billy, I am so sorry,” Rhonda offered. Billy didn’t respond. Didn’t move.

“Billy, honestly, I didn’t mean. . . .” Billy snapped the book shut suddenly, with a force that made her jump.

“Reckon you didn’t,” he said quietly. “Happened anyways.” He didn’t look up at her.

“I should have done what you said,” Rhonda tried again. “I didn’t think. All I knew was something was wrong. If you had told me - ”

“I shouldn’t have to tell you,” Billy interrupted. “I shouldn’t have to explain ever little thing like that. I should be able to ask you to do somethin’, or tell you, and you just trust me, and do it.” He looked up at her finally, and Rhonda winced inwardly at the look in his eyes.

“That lion could o’ killed me.” Billy’s voice was very low. “When he heard you on the radio, he charged right at me, when he had been sittin’ still. Had you just done what I asked you to, he might o’ stayed still long enough for me to put a bullet right ‘tween his eyes, and dropped’im right where he stood.” He got to his feet, book still in his hands.

“‘Stead, he come a runnin’ at me, a leapin’ and a jumpin’ all over creation, and I couldn’t hit him hard ‘nough to put’im down. I was so scared, my hands shakin’ so bad, I couldn’t hold steady ‘nough to git a good shot. Not for Rommel, he’d o’ got me. And he did git Rommel.” Saying the dog’s name made Billy look at Rommel again, to make sure he was still breathing.

“Billy, I didn’t know,” Rhonda said quietly. “All you said was to be quiet, and I was afraid something was wrong, and I wanted to know. . . .”

“You always want to know,” Billy nodded. “You always got to know, got to say, got to be, got to argue. Even when you know things is how they got to be, you still argue.” He sighed, then. A long, sad sound.

“You always got to say,” he said again. “This time, you had your say, just like always. Was it worth it?” There was no sting in the words. Just resignation. Sadness.

“No,” Rhonda admitted quietly.

“Well, that’s somethin’, anyway,” Billy sighed again, this time tiredly. “I’m gonna try and rest a while. I’ll be in here if you need me.”

“In here?” Rhonda asked, stunned. Was he shutting her out?

“Can’t leave’im,” Billy pointed at Rommel. “He can’t even get up enough to go tend his business. I got to clean him up ever time. I don’t, he’ll get a infection. Can’t have that. Might kill’im, even if the blood loss don’t. So I’m sleepin’ here.” He pointed to where he’d rolled out his sleeping bag.

“I’ll stay with you,” she offered.

“No,” he shook his head. “Ain’t no need o’ both of us sleepin’ on the floor. Just. . .just go to bed, when you get ready. Like I said, I’ll be here, you need me.”

With that he shut off the light, and got into his bed.

“You don’t care, pull ‘at door to when you go.”

Rhonda gently shut the door, and made her way upstairs. She had been hungry, but now had no appetite. She looked at the bundles in their room, the results of their efforts before the lion attack.

“All this for some Christmas presents,” she said to herself.

And then the tears came.

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

Christmas dinner was a hit for most of the small community. For once, things just sort of fell into place. Pete had offered to stand watch, and Shelly had offered to help, so the two of them made up a basket from the assorted foods and left quietly, Jerry’s frown following them. He didn’t mean to frown, he told himself. He liked Pete. But that was his daughter, and he felt like he was duty bound to frown. So he did.

Billy made only a brief appearance, wishing everyone a merry Christmas. Then he too made up a basket and headed home. Rommel was better, but not enough. Rhonda watched him go, not bothering to tell her good-bye. Billy was distant, if not outright cold, and it hurt. Knowing that he was right to be that way made it hurt more.

“What’s wrong, dear?” Emma asked, having seen Rhonda’s expression.

“Nothing,” Rhonda told her quietly, smiling. “Just watching the doings.”

“You can lie to yourself, honey, but I know better,” Emma patted her hand. “You’re tore up pretty bad. Is he still angry?”

“He’s not. . .angry,” Rhonda struggled to find the right word. “If he was, I’d actually feel better. If he’d yell, or scream, or break something, then I’d think we were making progress. But he doesn’t. He just sits there. When he speaks, he’s proper and polite, his tone is gentle. I. . .I just don’t understand,” she admitted, tears beginning to flow.

“That’s just his way of coping, dear,” Emma told her softly. “Billy has always had to ride hard on his anger. One of his main failings is that when he allows himself to get mad, he’s ‘mad all over’, as my grandmother used to say. He’s mad, and he can’t control himself. He knows that. So he keeps himself bottled up. I’m afraid one day that will do him more harm than good.”

“What do you mean?” Rhonda asked.

“Oh, I don’t mean he’ll hurt anyone,” Emma assured her at once. “But bottling all that anger up inside isn’t healthy. It’s hard on the system. Something else my grandma used to say,” she grinned. “Hard on the system. He’s penning all that rage and frustration up inside, and it can hurt him, over a long period of time.”

“How?”

“Well, it can cause health problems. Stress causes all kinds of problems, honey. Heart disease, stroke, that kind of thing. Billy’s young, and healthy as a horse, so I doubt it’s hurting him right now. But as he gets older, it will, I’m afraid. He has to learn to find an outlet for all that.”

“Maybe I can help,” Rhonda mused. “Once he’s talking to me normal again, anyway.”

“Maybe you can.”

*****

Rhonda left the party and walked home. It was a long way, but she enjoyed it. She was armed, of course, and Dottie was with her. Mary and Danny had asked to stay the night, with the other children, as had Georgie and Amanda. Mary had pleaded for Toby to stay as well, but he was having none of it.

“I ain’t no kid,” he muttered, shaking his head. Mary pouted a bit, but Toby was immune to that, and went home with his family.

As Rhonda walked, she mulled the problem over in her head. She and Billy had enjoyed a wonderful relationship up to now, and she missed that. She knew that she was prone to insist on things, but she was usually right. At least that’s what she told herself.

But she admitted that sometimes her insistence made things hard on Billy. Like when she complained that he would leave, to go and take care of something. Deep down, she knew those things had to be done. But she was tired of Billy always being the one to do them.

The others had problems of their own, of course. George with helping Debby, Terry with two children, living in a house farther away from the others. Jerry and Emma were older, and not really able to get out and about like the others. The Kelvey’s were still in stages of recuperation from wounds suffered during the Franklin raid, with Ben taking up the ‘slack’ of Jon and Howie not being quite back to battery as yet.

Regina and the others had their hands full with the children. Ralph was busy with the bio diesel experiment, and with George staying close to home, Ralph was also doing the lion’s share of the work with the community herd.

That meant that it usually fell to Billy, Toby, and Pete to do the leg work. The others all participated in some things, but the three of them bore the greatest part of the burden. All were young, strong and capable. And had the least responsibility. True, she and Billy had Mary and Danny now, but both were teens that had managed to survive on their own for months, and were quite able, and more than willing, to work hard around the Todd farm. Now days Danny took care of the Todd herd, and the horses, performing most of the farm chores himself, including helping Jerry with the pigs.

Mary worked around the house, and helped Danny with chores, and took almost exclusive care of the chickens. When it came time to garden, and then to can, Danny and Mary would be there to help then, as well.

She had said herself that it was hard work, maintaining a farm, Rhonda remembered. And it was. It was also an everyday thing. Animals had to be fed, even when it was Christmas. When it was cold, hot, raining, snowing, the weather didn’t matter, chores had to be done.

And, she admitted to herself with a sigh, salvaging the things they needed to be safe in their own community had to be done as well. She didn’t have to like that Billy was gone so much, but she did have to accept that it was necessary. Period.

“Time to grow up a little, Rhonda,” she murmured to herself, as she approached the house. “You’ve had things pretty much your own way since you got here. Time you learned to give a little.”

She knew that it was. The problem was how to do it. And to convince Billy that she was going to.

*****

She was surprised when she got home. Billy was outside, with Rommel getting about, albeit gingerly, in the backyard.

“Hi, Rommel!” Rhonda greeted, as Dottie ran to where Rommel watched them coming. The two dogs pawed and sniffed slightly, though Dottie was obviously conscious that her buddy was still injured. Rhonda paused to ruff Rommel’s great head, which he accepted with a whine, licking his face. Rhonda laughed, realizing that Rommel was getting back to his old self.

“Hi, baby,” she said to Billy.

“Hi!” Billy smiled, and her heart warmed.

“I see the Beast is better,” Rhonda smiled back, sitting down beside him.

“Seems to be,” Billy nodded, kissing her lightly. “He was up’n about when I got back. I opened the door, and out he came.”

“He looks good,” Rhonda agreed, taking Billy’s hand in her’s. “I’m glad.”

“Me, too,” Billy agreed, and squeezed her hand lightly. “Had me worried for a bit.”

“I know, baby,” she said softly, hugging him. “I’m so sorry,” she added.

“Ah, it’s under the bridge now, I reckon,” Billy shook his head.

“No, it’s not,” Rhonda shook her head, and Billy looked at her.

“I ain’t been right by you, Billy,” Rhonda said, looking him right in the eye. “I complained about you havin’ to go and do, even when I knowed it had to be done. And, I do almost always object, or argue, or complain, wantin’ to know what’s what.”

“It scares me that I almost got Rommel killed,” she admitted. “And it terrifies me that you might have been hurt, or killed, because I didn’t do what you said. I’m sorry for that.”

“I can’t change what I did, or what happened cause of it. But I can change how I do things in the future. I know there’s things you have to do. You, Pete, and Toby are about the only one’s that can do some of this stuff. Everyone else has so much else on’em. So from now on, I’ll do my best to be supportive of times when you have to go and do and take care of things. I promise.”

“Well, I don’t care that you ask, or even that you argue,” Billy shrugged. “But what happened in town, that wasn’t. . .that was the time not to, is all. I. . .I needed it to be quiet. I couldn’t even believe what I was seein’ at first.”

“He could hear ya’ll in the store, and he started pawin’ and snortin’ like a old bull or such. He was gettin’ ready to ‘tack, I thought. That’s why I called to ya’ll to be right still. Thought it would make him pause.”

“And then I had to ask what’s wrong,” Rhonda sighed.

“He lit right out after me,” Billy nodded in agreement. “I was so scared I couldn’t even get a good shot on’im. And it didn’t help none that a .223 ain’t really the ideal big game bullet, neither,” he grinned. “I couldn’t hit nothin’ vital, and I reckon it wasn’t much more’n a bee sting to’im. He just kept a comin’.”

“I figured I was pretty much a goner when Rommel hit’im from the side,” Billy continued after a minute. “Hadn’t been for him, that lion woulda killed me most like. Hurt me bad for sure.” He looked at her then.

“I know I said mean things to you. I can’t rightly recall what, to be honest, but I’m sure I did. I didn’t mean to. I was scared, and I was mad. But still, I hadn’t ought o’ done it. And I’m sorry.”

“I had it coming,” Rhonda patted his arm.

“No, you didn’t,” Billy shook his head. “That kinda thinkin’ don’t work for me, Rhonda. You start thinkin’ like that, you can justify all sorts o’ things. I can’t be that way. I gotta hold the line, and do right. I don’t, I do wrong. Bad wrong, sometimes,” he almost whispered.

“Billy, you ain’t gotta ‘bad wrong’ bone in your body,” Rhonda smiled. “You just react to things, that’s all. And I put you in a bad place. I promise to do my best not to do it anymore. Ever.”

They sat together for a good while after that, enjoying each other’s company, and watching the two dogs go around the yard. Finally Rhonda turned, and whispered into his ear.

“Ya know, the kids stayed at the Clifton Home tonight. Ain’t nobody but us in this big ol’ house tonight. All alone.” Billy grinned.

“What will we do?” she asked, batting her eyes at him.

“Reckon we’ll just have to do the best we can,” he grinned even broader, and leaned in for a kiss.

*****

The Christmas party had gone so well that another was planned for New Year’s. The Clifton House was again the location, having so much more room that anywhere else. The weather was cold now, so any outdoor activity was accompanied by bundled clothes and then followed by runny nose’s and sore throat’s.

With Rommel recovering nicely, Billy was happy to go to the party. He and Rhonda had talked a good deal over the last few days, and he felt much better about their relationship. In fact, they both did.

They elected to drive, because of the cold, and arrived early so Rhonda and Mary could help with the party preparations. Billy and Danny looked around the farm for chores that needed doing, and took care of them, including filling the outdoor furnace, checking the fuel and oil on the small generator, and the fuel line from the propane tank to the furnace. A last chore was to fill the wood box on the back porch for the fireplace.

By the time they had finished, the others were either there already, or arriving. The two slipped inside, took off their coats and went to warm by the fireplace.

Soon the house began to fill up. There was no actual meal this time, just plate after plate of finger foods, deserts, and corner sandwiches. Everyone simply grabbed a paper plate and fixed something, then mingled.

After an hour of general talk, music started, and people began to dance, and laugh. There was no televised ball dropping in New York, so Regina and the others had rigged their own. There was alcohol, of course, and wine, and soon the house was getting louder and louder.

Billy and Rhonda had danced for a while, then sat out as Rhonda helped watch the smaller children, who were having their own party upstairs, giving the women from the day care a chance to enjoy the fun.

Billy sat by himself for a while, then allowed Mary to pull him onto the dance floor once, to dance with her. The music seemed louder to him, now. Someone had rigged a few lights, probably Howie, and they were flashing on and off at times with the music.

Billy struggled as the music, lights, talking and laughing all seemed to run together into one big noise. He’d never been to a party. Ever. The noise was intruding on his calmness. He began to fidget, and then to sweat.

Soon, without even realizing it, Billy was becoming irritable. He turned from side to side in his seat, frowning at every new sound, every flash of light. Then, someone found the light switch and began turning the overhead lights on and off. On and off. On and off.

Suddenly Billy jumped to his feet. It was too much. Too much noise, too much light, too much. . .people. He ran out the front door, and into the yard. A few noticed him go, but didn’t think anything of it, assuming he wanted fresh air. Which was the case, to a point.

Pete had been sitting with Shelly, watching the goings on when he saw Billy hit the door. He frowned to himself. Something was wrong. He excused himself, and followed his new friend outside.

He found Billy nearly to the tree line, wandering aimlessly, shaking his hands as if trying to air dry them. He was also talking to himself. Pete frowned again. That wasn’t good. He walked slowly toward Billy, stopping a few yards away.

“Calm, calm, calm,” he heard Billy say over and over.

“Billy, you okay?” he called out. Billy stopped short, his head swiveling toward the call.