Occasionally Heroic A.I. (20 page)

Read Occasionally Heroic A.I. Online

Authors: David West

Tags: #Science Fiction - Adventure, #Humor

BOOK: Occasionally Heroic A.I.
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"My Fireball of Sefrin casts five-hundred damage with my roll, and I'll play my Fire Amplifier of Findig card, which multiplies the spell by one and a half, and the terrain I stand on increases any warm temperature spell by two-hundred and-" Herman continued for another three minutes, continuing his moves, his future spells, and his reasoning for why he was doing them.

I looked over at Lara who loved every moment of the Dungeons and Dragons game. She would compliment every smart move that Herman, Henry, Brian, Derek, and Lenard, would make. Lenard, however, couldn't make it, and played over the phone. Lara played her character's role, helped my character a great deal, and Lenard would direct her on what he would like his character to do over the phone.

"Lara," I whispered under my breath. "I thought this was more about playing a game and having fun, than numbers..."

"It is, just watch, you'll love it," she said in a hushed voice, nodding in confidence.

"Herman breaks the succubus grip on the prince of Lawndale, giving him a temporary increase of three to his intellect. Henry, you're in a coma, again," Brian, the Dungeon Master told, narrating the outcome of the round.

"Damn it!" Henry shouted, slamming his fist on the table.

"That's the fifth time this month," Brian pointed out. "Stop pushing your luck with the princess, you simply don't have enough of it, and she has a mean right hook," he advised, continuing on to the others. "Derek, you are rewarded with the Sword of Ahdvar for your bravery against the poison cup. Lara, you took an arrow in the abdomen to save Adam. And, Adam, you slipped on your own ice spell and slid between the Necromancer of Hagid, and Queen Stiggy."

"Adam!" Lara shouted in pain. "My love! You must go on without me. Save the queen, as she is in dire need of your Blade of Marren!"

"No! I can save us all! Even Henry, who was rejected by the princess! I will use the Barrier of Annanuke!" I exclaimed throwing the dice on the table without taking my eyes off Lara's, whose mouth was gaping at my performance.

Brian exhaled in a patient frustration, as he picked up the two cards I combined. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"I've never been so sure in my life," I answered bravely.

"You used The Great Barrier with the Anuk Bomb. Your roll of the dice-" he stopped to count the dice I rolled. "You used too many, but no matter, the number is too high and a nuclear explosion devastates the castle, killing everyone," Brian sighed.

"Oh, my bad. I didn't know that could happen," I apologized, feeling bad for ruining the game.

"It is fine; we didn't inform you well enough on the rules."

"That was so brave," Lara stated, inching closer and closer to me.

We had a passionate moment, in front of our co-workers. They were all stunned. Even I was a bit shocked that we kissed in public. They sat, trying to keep their eyes off the public show, by reading their cards, or spinning dice. Herman, however, was offended. He glared at Lara, as if she just slapped him.

"Isn't my character, Nevrin, married by D&D law, to yours, Fiona?" he questioned Lara with a sour look on his face.

"That's right. I forgot. Nevrin, I want a divorce," she said with a playful smile. She then held my hand under the table.

"Then I am entitled to half of your experience points and loot," he stated professionally.

"You guys use fictional names?" I asked. "Can I have one?"

"We decided to use our real names tonight, so we wouldn't confuse you," Brian explained. "But yes, you should make a new name. That is, if you plan on coming back."

"Of course I'm coming back; this is ridiculously fun!"

My cell phone began pulsing in my chest pocket, so I checked it.

 

You are ridiculously a nerd - Wade

 

Another text alert popped up.

 

Ignore him, it's cute - Irene

 

"Lara, do you have the Winchester Server Load Report?" Derek asked. "I haven't received this week's yet."

"I believe it is upstairs at the moment. Adam, will you get it from my backpack at your desk?" she asked, standing to go around the table and sit by Brian. "I need to help setup the game."

"Winchester Server Load Report - I'll bring it down," I said, and left the server room.

The office was completely empty, as it was eight o'clock. My desk was neat. The only decorations I had were what Lara would put around the cubicle. It definitely didn't make it girly, though. There were concept art of creepy video games pinned on the walls, action figures of space soldiers on my monitor, firing at space aliens on top of my computer case a foot away. The backpack and duffle bag was safely under the desk.

Lara's grey and blue backpack was filled with food, soda, a notebook that contained the Winchester Server Load Report, and finally, weapons. Before we came to work in a taxi, we filled her backpack with the small self-defense weapons, which we acquired at Machine Mountain and one duffel bag with the larger weapons. I even had two yellow and black stripped pens in my pocket protector that shot out tranquilizer darts with each click.

When I took out the report and looked up, I saw Martin looking at me through the monitor. I sat down at my chair to see eye-to-eye with him. Because he was sitting at the same desk as I, and in his virtual office that was a duplicated model of my own, it seemed like I was looking through a mirror. However, instead of seeing myself, I saw Martin's stick figure, sitting at my seat instead.

"Hello, Martin, where is Wade and Irene?" I asked.

"They are in the security center of Jericho, with Aurora and the security team. I just wanted let you know that we are hearing activity coming from the vans. The security team hacked into two of them, but what they are hearing is very little - code words, grunts, laughter. These outside CBA agents aren't the talkative type.

"The A.I. inside the vans are attempting to do to us, what we have done to them - hack inside without our knowledge," he explained. "However, since we are already in their system, we know what moves they are making, so it is easy for us to defend against the attacks. This activity inside the vans, though. It sounds like the outside agents are preparing for something-"

"Adam?" a voice called out from Mr. Netak's office. "Who are you talking to?"

I poked my head over the cubicle walls, and spotted my boss at the doorway of his office. "I was just getting a report for Lara. We are-"

"Playing games in the server room, I know; it's Tuesday. I would like to see you in my office."

It was a strange request at this hour, but I obeyed. When I walked inside, he was sipping from his pink,
Best Dad,
mug. He didn't give me the cold stare he had ever since we first met, however. He set his mug down and asked me to sit.

"You've been working here for a little while now, and you've exceeded expectations. As soon as you got the hang of it, you flew by my other data analysts. I have to say, I'm surprised," he commended, showing a faint smile of approval. "That, and my daughter is quite fond of you. It seems I was wrong about you, Adam. You're not that bad."

I was shocked. "Thank you-" I began, but was interrupted by Mr. Netak's intercom.

"Mr. Netak?" the security guard from downstairs asked through the speaker. "I have Homeland Security down here, in the lobby. They are here to arrest Adam, and take Lara in for questioning."

"Shit," I muttered.

"Homeland Security?" Mr. Netak shouted at me. "What have you gotten Lara into?"

I didn't know how to respond, but while I was struggling with my words, my phone rang.

"Will you excuse me - for just a moment? I need to take this," I said, answering my phone.

He just stood and glared at me, with his mouth half-open in appall.

"Adam, we have a problem," Wade informed me over the phone. "The security doors - we're having difficulty keeping them closed."

"I have to get to Lara!" I exclaimed, getting to my feet.

Mr. Netak stood as well. I wasn't sure if he wanted to tackle me down and hand me over to the CBA agents, or help me get to Lara.

"No," Wade insisted. "Lara is safe in the server room. A keycard is required to get in there. It isn't as strong as the security doors that were installed, but it'll hold up for a while. Aurora already called Lara and told her not to let anyone into the room."

"Then what should I do?" I asked.

"Hide. We've closed the doors again, but one team of operatives got inside. They're walking through the office right now - so
hide
!" he commanded.

I got up and looked around the room. Where would they least expect me? Mr. Netak's desk. I ran around the large, golden oak desk, where my boss backed away in confusion and I squeezed under his desk, taking up his leg space.

"What the hell are you doing under there?" he roared.

"Hiding."

"You tell me exactly what is going on, or I'm going to pull you right out from there and hand you to them," he threatened.

"It's hard to explain," I replied, trying to think of how to avoid telling him about artificial intelligence. "Lara and I know something the government doesn't want us knowing, so they want us silenced."

"The classic eighties plot..." he muttered, using the same words as Lara. "Well you're a grown man! Get the hell out from under my desk!"

I crawled out and stood, but we heard a stampede of boots outside his office. I dived for the desk, once again, and he helped me with a shove, and a stomp of the boot. He then sat down casually, before the door swung wide open and hit with a bang on the wall. Five men ran into the room in formation, two on the left, two on the right, and one that walked straight to the desk that I hid under. Mr. Netak didn't move a muscle until the team leader slammed documents onto his desk.

"As you can read in these warrants for arrest, the suspects are handling illegal weapons, and are plotting against the government and therefore the nation. Open the security doors and unlock the door to the server room, or you will be charged with aiding fugitives," a CBA agent threatened.

"Fugitives? Plural? Didn't you tell my guard downstairs that it was just the one fugitive, Adam? And Lara was only wanted for questioning," Mr. Netak tested.

"Open the doors," he ordered. "Your security guard isn't able to unlock them from his station."

Mr. Netak thought for a second or two and then stood. He opened the door directly to his right, into conference room A. "How about this door?" he asked, leaving the door open. "Do you want this door open?"

"No," the agent said, not amused.

A look on Mr. Netak's face told me he saw a ghost outside his office, behind the CBA agents. He pointed behind them and shouted, "There he is!"

In one fluid motion, he took me by the back of my shirt, pulled me out from the desk, and tossed me into the conference room. With the CBA agents backs still turned, and me still in the air, ready to fall painfully into a dozen stacked chairs, he made a thunderous cough as I collided, to drown out the noise.

The CBA agents returned their gaze on Mr. Netak, and he returned their look with a sudden look of innocence on his face. "Oh, no, that's not him. I need to get some of that Lasik eye surgery. Anyway, I'll do my best to open that door for you," he abided, gathering his keys from his desk.

Behind the fallen chairs, I spied Mr. Netak lead three CBA agents, who were dressed as military operatives, through the office. They all had balaclava masks on, rifles ready in their hands, and pistols at their hips. I had to duck so they wouldn't see me hiding behind the fallen chairs.

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