Obsession (Stalker #1) (21 page)

“Oh my fucking God, Abby! I’m so fucking sorry,” Dallas says as she hurls herself into me.

“Jake told you,” I sob, hugging her back. Dallas isn’t a big hugger so this is a big deal.

“Fuck yes, and I can’t believe it. I’ve got Justin on roll patrol so he’ll be out in a minute,” she spews at me at lightning speed. Dallas speaks extra speedy when she’s anxious. Only Justin and I can really understand her when she gets like this.

“Dallas, his ex-wife hung herself in my apartment, what the fuck!” I start to shake again. Dallas lets me go to open the door.

“Justin, for fuck’s sakes, we need some weed, STAT, and bring my phone with you,” she whispers.

“I need a drink, let’s go in for a minute,” I tell her.

Dallas slides the door open and we walk in. She heads to the living room and is telling Justin to roll faster. I go to the kitchen and grab a bottle of wine, because obviously if there is a time for wine and weed, it’s right fucking now.

“Justin, whatcha want to drink?” I find myself whispering loudly now.

“Usual,” he mutters back, concentrating on his three paper roll. I grab the Rye, find some Coke in the fridge, and make his drink. I pour the wine for Dallas and me, and park my ass on the bar stool.

“Who fuckin’ does that?” I ask out loud.

“It’s fucked up, that’s for damn sure,” Dallas answers.

“That poor little girl sleeping in her bedroom just lost her mother tonight and doesn’t even know it,” I shake my head, still having a hard time processing all of this.

“Dallas, what are you doing?” I see her typing on her phone, furiously, and it can only mean one thing.

“Text my ma, please, D.”

We drink, knowing that in less than an hour, all our friends and my ma will be here.

*******

I’ve got a killer buzz going and feel fucking floaty as hell, and I like it here right now. I’m outside with Dallas and Justin. Ozzy is still out from before. I’ve downed a glass wine, maybe two, smoked some of the ginormous joint, and am having a cigarette with my third glass of wine. This is how we handle stress. Dallas, Justin and I have been through enough shit together to know this routine. I hear cars pulling into the driveway and Justin must have heard them, too, because he hands Dallas the joint. The next thing I know, Nicole, Nat, Amanda and Kim are outside on the deck hugging me. Everyone is asking, ‘What the fuck?’ And I all I can do is shrug my shoulders.

“This is new, eh?” I giggle slightly as I say it.
What the fuck is wrong with me?!
Dallas starts to giggle, too, and then we start and can’t stop. The girls are going in and out of Jake’s place trying to be quiet, I think, and thank fuck they brought more wine. My bitches are fucking smart
. Do you see why I love them?
Alcohol and weed are flowing freely everywhere now and I feel a comfort knowing they are all here for me.

It’s when my mom shows up that I cry again. Justin must have let her in and told her what happened because she comes straight to me and hugs me. I let it all out. “Thanks for coming, Ma,” I sob onto the back of her shoulder.

“Shhh, Abby, I’ve got you.” She squeezes me tight.

“It’s so fucked up, Ma,” I say, still hugging her.

“I know babe, what can I do to help?” she asks, not letting go of me.

“Nothing, just drink with me,” I tell her.

“How much have you had?” she pulls from me and is looking into my eyes.

“I’ve had a bit, Ma,” She grins at me and that makes me giggle.

My ma is totally kickass. She opens the door and looks for Dallas, points to her, and crooks her finger. Dallas comes outside with a glass of wine for my ma, and lights up the joint, and hands it to her. Ma inhales and coughs a little before she exhales. She takes a few more puffs and hands it to me while coughing. My ma is not a big pot smoker, but she will from time to time, and doesn’t make a big deal of it. She’s cool like that. I take some more puffs and hand it back to Dallas. I light up a smoke and sit on the deck, drinking my wine.

Ozzy comes up beside me and parks it. I put my wine on one side so his tail doesn’t knock it over and move my smoke to my other hand so I can pet him. This dog knows when I feel like shit and literally lets me lean on him. So I lean on him, ignoring all the chaos around me wondering what Jake will think of all this when he gets home.

Oh shit, I wonder how the fuck he’s doing? He must be having a hard time, and here I am drunk and stoned off my ass and not even looking after his kid, for fuck’s sakes. What kind of person am I?

“You are not a bad person, Abigail Osborne.”

Did I hear my mom’s voice?
“Did I say that out loud?” I ask out loud.

“Abby, this is not your fault and you better not think anything different,” she scolds me.

“Ma, look at me. I’m drunk off my ass, stoned, and there is a three year old little girl sleeping in this house who has no idea her mother is dead.” I continue to smoke my cigarette while petting Ozzy. “Ma, have you met Ozzy Pawsbourne, Prince of Barkness?” I giggle at Ozzy and hear Ma start to laugh, too. She’s smoked a bit and has the giggles.

“Is that his actual name?” she laughs, asking.

“Come see his collar.” I jiggle it a little bit. She comes to sit on the other side of Ozzy and coos at him while reading his collar. She bursts out laughing, which makes me laugh, which makes everyone come outside.

“Abby, Izzy is sleeping like a log. I just checked on her, so don’t worry,” Amanda assures me.

“I love you, bitch,” I mutter to her.

“Love you back, hooker.” And she kisses my cheek.

“I love all you, bitches, and I need more wine!” I say to whoeverthefuck is listening.

“How the fuck do you tell a three year old little girl that her momma is dead,” I ask to nobody in particular and start to cry. “One day, she’s going to know it’s all my fault her mother is dead and she’ll hate me,” I say, petting Ozzy. I feel to all over the place and my emotions are a fucking mess. “I fucked up Jake’s kid for life.” That’s when I see Kim in front of me. She grabs my shoulders and shakes me a little.

“What the fuck, Kim!”

You shouldn’t just shake people.

“Abby, get your goddamn head out of your ass for one second and listen to yourself. None of this is your fault. You cannot control crazy bitches. I know this because I am also a crazy bitch.” She lights up her smoke and drinks her wine in front of me.

“Why the fuck does it feel that way, then?” As much as I know it’s not my fault, I still feel partly responsible.

“Ma!” I holler probably a little too loudly.

“I’m right here.” I look, and yup, she’s right there on the other side of Ozzy.

“Can I show you something?” I ask her. Of course, she says yes.

“Pull me up.” I reach out my hands. I think Kim is the one who pulls me up, but I’m not sure. “Ma, come.” I head inside and she’s following me. I go down the hallway and stop at the door to Izzy’s room, and open it gently. It doesn’t even creak. I grab Ma’s hand and drag her in, pointing to Izzy. I hear my ma’s breath catch.

“Abby, she’s beautiful,” she whispers.

“I know she is.” I sit on her bed and brush a strand of hair from her little face and kiss her forehead. “I love you, Izzy,” I say, getting up and grabbing my ma, ushering her out of the room. “Do you see now?” I ask her, hoping she understands what the fuck I’m trying to say.

“I do, Abby, and I know you always wanted a little girl of your own,” she says, and I fucking cry again. “Oh, Abby, I know it’s not an ideal situation, but that sweet little girl in there is going to need you now more than ever,” she whispers.

“I’ll never be her mother,” I sigh.
I’ll be the reason her mother committed suicide.

“Abby, you will be the mother Izzy needs. You will be the momma she knows now.” She looks me in my blurry eyes.

“I shouldn’t be allowed near kids, Mom. I was never meant to be a mother.” She knows I’m talking about my inability to have children.

“Being a mother comes in all different forms, babe. Let’s talk about this tomorrow.”

And now I’m wondering if she’s staying over. I don’t even know what time it is. I guess it doesn’t matter right now. I’m surrounded by almost everyone I need right now. If it wasn’t for the circumstances, this would be a fun get-together, I think to myself and smile. I decide I need to lay down now and I ask for someone to feed my cat. I can hear hustling and bustling around me as I plop down on the couch, curling into a little ball. I feel someone else beside me and I don’t care. I’m so tired now. Sleep takes over me.         

“Look at them,” Bonnie says.

“Always been more like sisters than cousins,” says Justin.

“I know….”

I give my statement to the police. They will also need one from Abby and I dread it. At least they will send someone to my place tomorrow for that. It’s way too late and I told them that she’s at home with my daughter.

Izzy, fucking Christ! What the fuck am I going to tell my baby? How do you tell your three year old daughter that her mother is dead? No, seriously! HOW?
Seeing Tiff hanging in Abby’s apartment was surreal. Going to a funeral is one thing, a suicide is another. I can’t believe Tiff would fucking do this to Izzy.

Kev is coming back to my place after he’s done, which he won’t be much longer. He’s not technically on duty, but it is also his house. I’m just stunned and can’t wrap my head around anything right now. I just want to go home to Abby and Izzy. I need to make sure they’re ok. Abby is going to think this is her fault.
Fuck!!!

It’s about two in the morning when I pull into my driveway, and it is loaded with cars. What the fuck is going on here? I step out of my Jeep and make my way inside. It looks like a tornado hit it everyfuckinwhere! There are chicks everywhere and the only one I know, other than Dallas, is Amanda. Who the fuck is everyone?

“Uh, hey,” I say to all of them. Justin gets up and comes over to give me another man hug. “Who the hell are all these people?” I ask, looking around.

“I told you to be ready for a shit storm, buddy. I wasn’t lying!”

He’s fucking serious. “I can see that.” I’m still taking everything in. Wine bottles are everywhere. I see Abby and Dallas curled up on the sectional together. Fuck, she must have had quite a bit. An older woman approaches me.

“Hey Jake, I’m Bonnie, Abby’s mom.” Instead of shaking my hand, she pulls me in for a hug. I hug her back.

“Thanks for coming, Bonnie. I wish we could have met under different circumstances.” I let her go and she looks at me.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Jake. For you and Izzy both.” She tries to comfort me.

“Me too, I don’t know what I’m going to tell Izzy,” I say to Bonnie randomly.

I make my way to the kitchen and sit on a bar stool. “What’s your poison, Jake?” An unfamiliar voice is asking me. I turn and see a petite little blonde with a huge rack and big blue eyes, and those eyes are staring into mine. “Rye and Coke, please,” I say. “Also, who are you?” I ask with an exasperated sigh.

“Oh shit, I’m Kim, one of Abby’s bitches. Nicole and Natalie are out back smoking and it looks like you’ve met Bonnie. So, this is our crew and you better get used to it. With Abby comes all of us,” she informs me, handing me my drink.

“Thanks Kim, I guess I should go meet them, but I want to see Izzy first.”

I take a drink and head to Izzy’s bedroom. I go in and sit on her bed. She looks so peaceful. “I’m so sorry, baby girl,” I whisper to her. I move her hair out of her sweet little face and kiss her head. I get up and make my way back out.

It seems everyone who’s awake is outside. I go out and light up a smoke. “I can’t thank all of you enough for being here. I don’t even know what to say, or where to start,” I say to all of them as I sit down on the deck. Ozzy makes his way over and is nudging me to pet him. I give him a few scratches and decide to just say what happened.

“Tiff left a note. It wasn’t a nice note. In a nutshell, she called Abby a bunch of names and told me to rot in Hell. She hung herself.” I take another drag off my smoke and inhale deeply.

“You want something stronger?” Justin hands me a joint. I look to Abby’s mom, nodding her head yes, so I don’t hesitate and spark it up.

“Thanks, man.” Justin nods his head.

“Is that another car I hear?” It is either Nicole or Natalie asking.

“Uh, yeah, I invited Kev over thinking he could use some company,” I say to both of them.

“I’ll go and let him in,” says Amanda, making her way back in the house.

“Thanks, Amanda.” She gives me a quick hug and goes inside. “Abby’s lucky you know, she has all of you,” I say, looking at all of them.

“Jake, this is going to be a hard time for you guys and if you need anything, and I do mean anything at all, then please let me know,” Bonnie says.

“Bonnie, how am I going to tell Izzy?” I ask her, hoping she has the answers, because I don’t. She sits beside me, grabs the joint, and takes a few puffs before she hands it back.
Well, shit, who knew!

“Only you will be able to figure that one out, Jake.” She pats my back.

“I didn’t want this, you know. As much as I hated Tiff, she was still Izzy’s mom. I may have wished her dead a few times, but you don’t ever think something like this will happen.” I puff the joint a bit more and hand it off to one of the twins.

“I’ve never seen anyone who has hung themselves before.” I sip my drink and continue, “Someone will be coming by tomorrow for Abby’s statement since it is her apartment.” I hang my head in shame because I feel guilty as fuck. I know it’s not anyone’s fault, but I can’t shake it.

“Jake, it’s not anyone’s fault,” says Nicole, the darker haired twin.

“I know that it isn’t. It’s not anyone’s fault, but. . .”

The sliding door opens and Amanda and Kevin join us outside. Everyone knows Kev, so they all rush to hug him. What a fuckin’ night this has turned into.

“Kev, I didn’t know the whole posse would be here, man,” I chuckle. I guess the weed is kicking in.

“Better get used to it, Jake, these ladies are super tight, man.” I see him pull Amanda a little closer to him. “Abby is lucky to have you all.”

I down the rest of my drink, and Kim scoops up my glass and goes to make another. “Thanks,” I mutter as she goes inside.”

I know my place is small, but you are all welcome to crash here. There are some couches in the basement.”

“Yeah, we scoped out the house and figured it out,” Kim informs me.

“Where is the fuckin’ joint?” asks Kev.

“Here you big baby,” Kim says.

“Kev, aren’t you a cop?” Bonnie asks.

“Yup, I am. I’m not on duty and it’s been one hell of a night.” He inhales the joint.

“I’m sorry, Kev, about what happened,” Bonnie says.

“Me, too,” he says with a look of sadness.

He keeps hauling on that joint like it’s his lifeline. Kim comes back out with two drinks, one for me and one for Kev. Everyone is semi wasted.

“How were my girls tonight?” I ask, running my fingers through my hair as I gulp my drink.

“Oh, Jake, Abby is having a hard time, but Izzy slept through everything so don’t worry about her until tomorrow,” Bonnie reassures me and then spits out, “My daughter thinks she fucked up your life and that one day Izzy will know it’s all her fault.” Bonnie sure doesn’t hold back. I see where Abby gets it.

“Yeah, I figured she would and I don’t know how to make her see she hasn’t fucked anything up.” I gulp my drink again and it’s gone. “Listen, I just want to thank all of you for being here tonight and taking care of my girls. I’m going to grab Abby and put her to bed. I’m so tired and need to be ready for Izzy in the morning.” All of a sudden there are arms wrapping around me from every angle.

“Justin, can you move Dallas so I can grab Abby, please?” He doesn’t hesitate and everyone heads inside with Ozzy in tow. Justin angles Dallas so she’s off Abby and I scoop up my girl, tell everyone Goodnight, and thanks, and carry her down the hall to bed. “Did he just carry her to bed?” I think it was Bonnie, who asked and Kim confirmed it with a, “Mmmhmmm.” I continue to our bedroom.

“Jake,” Abby whispers as I lay her down.

“Yes, baby, I’m home now.” I take off my clothes and change into some track pants and a T-shirt, since my house is overloaded with people.

“Jake, I’m so sorry.” A single tear slides down her cheek and my heart breaks because I know she believes this is her fault.
Fuck!
I climb into beside her and tuck her close to me.

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry it happened and I hate that I have to find a way to tell Izzy, but don’t you dare for one second think any of this is your fault,” I whisper, then I kiss her head. “I love your family, baby, they were so great to me. And since everyone is wasted, they’re all crashed here.”

I hear her laugh softly. “Did you meet my ma?” she asks, turning to face me.

“I did and she’s fucking awesome. They all are, you’re lucky you have them.” I brush some loose strands of hair away from her face and kiss her softly.

“They’re yours now, too, you know. My family is your family.” She kisses me back softly on my lips. “Izzy will find out one day,” she whispers to me.

“Izzy will have already accepted you by the time she’s even old enough to understand,” I whisper back to her, kissing her again.

“Jake, what are we going to do?” She kisses me again.

“I don’t know.” I kiss her back. “Let’s sleep on it and see what tomorrow brings, ok?” I kiss her again.

I want to fuck the shit out of her right now, to be honest. I feel like it’s weird with a house full of people, including her mother. I just saw my ex hanging by a fucking a rope, but I need Abby more than ever right now. My hand snakes its way inside her pants and I find her clit and start rubbing.
House full of people be damned.
I need my woman. She starts kissing me and I catch her little moans in my mouth. “Shhh, baby, I want to make you feel good,” I whisper into her mouth.

“Jake, please,” she begs and bites at my lip. I slide her pants off and mine, too. I position myself on top of her with my cock at her entrance. “Abby, I love you so fucking much,” I whisper before I slide myself inside her.
Fuck me, she feels like heaven.

“Oh God,” she moans. I have to cover her mouth with my hand.

“Shhh, we gotta be quiet.” She nods her head and I continue gently rocking into her, telling her I love her over and over again while kissing her each time I say it.

“I love you, Jake,” she whispers back to me. “Jake, I’m going to come. Oh, my God.”

I grab her face and kiss her while I feel her contract around me and I’m done for.