Obsession (64 page)

‘I can try, but I wouldn’t hold out too much hope of getting an honest answer.’ As he slotted some coins into the machine they’d finally come across Corrie turned to look at him,

‘How about an honest answer from you, Phillip?’ she said. ‘I want to know whatever it is you’ve been holding back from me these past weeks. I want to know why Luke is accusing you of incest … No, I know what he said about Octavia, but when he spoke to me on the phone he said it was happening with Annalise too. So what is Octavia telling him? And why did he tell me to ask you about those prostitutes?’

Phillip nodded, and handing her a coffee said, ‘Come on, let’s sit down over here. I’m not sure I can answer everything, but what I do know I’ll tell you. But you’d better brace yourself, Corrie, because I just don’t know what you’re going to think of me once you know. But please, try to understand that I’m only human, and that the flesh is weak, as they say, and life with Octavia has never been easy …’

Feeling a shudder vibrate through her body as she recalled those few moments with Octavia earlier, Corrie virtually collapsed into a moulded plastic chair and prepared herself to listen to yet another confession from her father. She felt so tired that all she wanted was to turn her back on the whole thing and return to Cristos, but taking Phillip’s hand in hers she smiled her encouragement, and prayed to God that this time he wouldn’t hold anything back.

‘Oh God, what a mess,’ she groaned when he’d finished telling her about the prostitutes, in no doubt now that he’d told her the whole truth. ‘Anyway, the important thing is, you’ve been to the police and they’ve cleared you. So now we have to find out how Luke knows so much about your
movements
to know that you were with those women not long before they died. Which of course doesn’t necessarily mean that he did it himself.’

‘No. But it doesn’t rule it out either.’

‘No, it doesn’t does it,’ she said wearily.

‘And I’m afraid the police have already interviewed him and he’s not on their list of suspects,’ Phillip added.

‘But he’s insane, we know that.’

‘That’s the hardest thing in the world to prove, Corrie, and even if we could that doesn’t help much as far as those murders were concerned. Unless he confesses.’

‘If he did it. Oh God, we’re just going round and round in circles here and I want to go.’ She looked at her watch and her heart turned over when she saw the time. ‘It’s too late now for me to get a train back to Wiltshire …’ and letting her head fall back against the wall she closed her eyes tightly against the tears. ‘I can’t believe this is happening …’ she groaned.

‘I think we ought to go and talk to him again,’ Phillip said. ‘Let’s ask him about the …’ When he stopped Corrie opened her eyes to look at him. ‘I don’t think you’ll have to go back to Wiltshire,’ he smiled, and nodded for her to look behind her.

Corrie turned round, and just knew that she was dreaming when she saw Cristos coming along the corridor towards her. But if it was a dream she didn’t care, he was the only person in the entire world she wanted to see right now, and thrusting her empty cup at her father she ran to meet him.

‘What are you doing here?’ she murmured, as he caught her in his arms.

‘What do you think? I got your note, Jeannie told me what had happened and which hospital you were at. And the nurse just told me where I could find you. Hello sir,’ he added, holding out his hand to Phillip.

‘Phillip this is Cristos,’ Corrie said, standing to one side
as
they shook hands, ‘and Cristos this is … Phillip. My father.’

‘Pleased to meet you at last,’ Phillip said. ‘I’ve heard a lot about you …’ He winced as Corrie trod on his toe. ‘Sorry, I’ve never heard of you,’ he corrected, making both Cristos and Corrie laugh.

‘So,’ Cristos said, ‘what’s it all about?’

‘Don’t ask,’ Corrie answered. ‘It was a false alarm – surprise! surprise! At least he did slit his wrists, but why and how serious he was about it, is anyone’s guess.’

‘We were just about to go back there and try talking to him again,’ Phillip said. ‘God knows how far we’ll get …’

‘I think we’ll just be wasting our time,’ Corrie said, resting her head on Cristos’s shoulder and linking her father’s arm as they walked back down the corridor.

‘If you don’t mind, sir,’ Cristos said when they reached the private ward, ‘I’d like to take Corrie home now. She looks kinda tired, and since there doesn’t appear to be any emergency …’

‘Oh no, I don’t mind in the slightest,’ Phillip assured him. ‘You’re right, she does look tired, and you’ve had quite enough of your last night together spoiled as it is. You go along now, and I’ll see if Luke is still awake.’

‘I’m sorry,’ the nurse interrupted. ‘I’ve strict instructions not to let anyone else in there tonight. However,’ she added, looking oddly at Corrie who was still leaning against Cristos, ‘he did ask if the young lady would go in and say goodnight before she left, and that I will allow. Two minutes only.’

Corrie looked up at Cristos. ‘Do you mind?’

‘Yes. But go ahead if you have to.’

The room was in darkness when Corrie let herself in, but in the moonlight from the window she saw Luke turn his head to see who it was. ‘I’ve come to say goodnight,’ she said flatly.

‘Oh, that’s nice of you. Goodnight. Will you be coming again?’

‘No.’

‘Suit yourself. By the way, did Bennati ask you to go back to Los Angeles with him.’

‘That’s none of your business.’

‘Mmm, I thought not. I told you, he’s using you. Anyway I’ve saved you the pain of a last night together, so you can thank me for that.’

‘Thank you,’ Corrie said. Let him think what he wanted, it was of no concern to her, and she turned and walked out of the room.

‘What I want to know,’ Cristos said, as he drove her through the night to her studio, ‘is why he called
you
to his deathbed?’

‘I don’t know,’ Corrie answered, sounding as tired as she felt. ‘And I don’t much care. All that’s on my mind right now is you, and how I’m going to cope with saying goodbye tomorrow.’

Reaching for her hand he said, ‘How about we deal with that tomorrow?’

‘OK,’ she said quietly, wondering how, as they seemed to lurch from one crisis to the next with Luke, she was going to be strong enough to support Annalise and her father, when she already knew that it was going to take everything she had to deal with the pain of losing Cristos.

After less than four hours sleep Corrie and Cristos were heading through the first stirrings of dawn back down the M4 to Wiltshire. Corrie was driving while Cristos slept beside her and every time she looked at him the weight of love amassing in her heart grew heavier. They had both been too tired to make love the night before, and she wondered now if they ever would again. As the thought took root a great wave of panic heaved through her chest. She couldn’t bear it! She just couldn’t live with the thought
of
never seeing him again. They’d become so close these past few weeks, had shared so much of their lives that there was no point in deluding herself any longer. Without him her ambitions meant nothing. She’d sacrifice them all for him, she’d try to make a go of Los Angeles, if only he’d ask! But she had to face it, he wasn’t going to – if he were, he’d have done it by now. She couldn’t understand though, if she meant as much to him as he said, how could he let her go so easily?

Vivid, crazy ideas started flashing through her mind. Should she just pack up and go to Los Angeles anyway? Surely he wouldn’t turn her away if she did? Perhaps she should beg him to take her. Or maybe she should just crash the car now and they could die together.

She knew it was tiredness that was pushing her mind to the brink of such frenzy, and making a conscious effort to calm herself she tried to concentrate on what had happened at the hospital the night before. Once again, as the image of Octavia sprung before her eyes Corrie felt an icy shiver descend through her body. She struggled to make sense of those few moments and the profound effect they had had upon her, but there was no more coherence to her thoughts than there had been logic to what Luke had said later. All Corrie knew was that there was something going on that was so way beyond her understanding that the fear of it was starting to worm its way to the very core of her reason. How she longed to tell Cristos, to ask him to help her – surely if he knew what was happening he wouldn’t leave her here to face it alone. But Corrie knew she would never tell him for in its way it would be tantamount to blackmailing him.

Cristos finally woke as she turned the car from the motorway and began heading through the early morning light towards Castle Combe. ‘We here already?’ he said, glancing at his watch. ‘You must have gone some.’

‘I didn’t want you to be late,’ she said.

He yawned and stretched, then helped himself to one of the peppermints on the dashboard. He sucked it for a minute or two, then taking it from his mouth slipped it into Corrie’s. After taking it she looked away quickly before he saw the tears in her eyes. Sharing their peppermints like this was just one of the intimate little habits they had slipped into – almost without thinking. Dear God, why was this happening? Why couldn’t they stay together?

‘I want you to go right to bed when we get to the hotel,’ Cristos told her, leaning back in his seat and locking his hands behind his head.

‘But this is our last day together, I want to spend as much of it with you as I can,’ Corrie objected. ‘Even if it does mean just standing at the edge of the set.’

‘Bed!’ he said. ‘You’re beat, and you’re emotional. I don’t want you there like that. What I want is that you get some sleep so’s you’ve got all your wits about you when we talk later.’

Corrie’s stomach seemed to turn itself inside out. ‘Talk?’ she said. ‘What about?’

‘You know what about. You and me. We should have done it last night, but now we’ll have to do it today. We’re not gonna have a lot of time, but we’ll find it – and we got to find it before we go to the airport ’cos Jeannie’s giving back her Mini car today – she and Richard are coming to Heathrow with us.’

‘I’ll never be able to sleep,’ Corrie murmured.

But she did, albeit fitfully, until she heard the crew clanging about downstairs telling her that they were packing up after their final morning’s shoot.

She found Cristos in the makeshift production office, staring thoughtfully up at the frieze of Shakespearean characters while everyone else carried out what was left of their equipment to stack in the waiting lorries.

‘You composing me a sonnet?’ she smiled, going over to join him.

‘No,’ he said, ‘but I was thinking about you. Let’s take a stroll over to the weir, get out of this chaos.’

As they walked through the drizzling rain, with Corrie’s arm linked through his and her head resting on his shoulder, Cristos, as he had done so many times this past week, was thinking about how very much she had come to mean to him. He knew he loved her in a way he’d never loved another woman, and it was because of it that he had to be honest with her now, to try to make her understand why things had to be like this – why he wasn’t going to ask her to come to LA with him. There were so many reasons why he couldn’t, but he didn’t want to lay them all on her at once, and now his problem was where to begin.

‘You’re making me nervous,’ Corrie said, when he still hadn’t spoken by the time they reached the weir.

‘I’m trying to find the right words,’ he sighed, looking down into the rushing current. ‘But I guess there’s no other way of saying it than straight.’ He turned to face her and felt the sharp pull of love when he saw the terrible anguish in her eyes. ‘I know you’re hurting because I haven’t talked about our future,’ he said, running his fingers over her cheek, ‘because you want me to ask you to come with me to …’

‘That’s not true,’ Corrie lied. ‘You know I’ve been working hard at …’

‘Corrie, I know what you’ve been doing, and God knows I love you for your courage. But it’s breaking you up, I can see it. Christ knows, it’s not doing a lot for me either. But I can’t ask you to come with me – not because I don’t want you to, but because …’ He stopped, dashing a hand through his already dishevelled hair. ‘Well to start with I just don’t know that I want to make the kind of commitment …’

‘What commitment? I’ve never said anything about …’

‘Corrie, listen to me. You know how I feel about you …’

‘Do I?’

‘Yes! And I know how you feel about me. I wouldn’t mind being told, it’s true, but I know why you won’t tell me. It’s because you want to give your whole self when you make that Goddammed statement, and to you giving your whole self means marriage.’

For a while Corrie said nothing, her throat was too choked with misery for the words to come. ‘So the bottom line is,’ she whispered finally, ‘that you don’t want to marry me?’

‘No,’ he said, ‘I don’t want to marry you.’

The pain cleaved so deep into her heart that it was as though it was pulling her to the ground. She looked past him, out to the countryside and suddenly she wanted to run. She wanted to get away from him, to run so fast and so far that the pain could never catch up.

‘Oh Corrie,’ he sighed, as he watched her face, ‘we’ve hardly known each other any time … It’s just too early to be thinking about something like marriage. It’s too early even to be thinking of living together. OK, I don’t know how well I’m gonna get along without you, but this is one hell of a commitment we’re talking about here.’

Corrie shrugged. ‘Well, that’s it then, isn’t it?’ she said flatly.

‘It doesn’t have to be.’

‘I think it does.’

‘You don’t mean that, and you know it.’

‘I do, Cristos. How can I even begin to get on with my life if I’m just waiting around for you to make up your mind?’

‘I’m not asking you to do that,’ he said gently. ‘I’m just saying that you’re taking it too fast. And ask yourself, in your heart do you really want to come to LA right now? You’ve still got things to work out with your father. I know that’s important to you …’

‘Yes it is, but that’s not the point here is it? The point
is
that you don’t want me to come with you. You’re worried that if I did, and you changed your mind about me then it would be damned difficult to get rid of me when I’ve come so far arid given up so much.’