Obsession (3 page)

“Thank you, Leo.”

Dismissed, I numbly made my way through the underground labyrinth until I found Ramón talking with some of his father’s men. No doubt there would be some power restructuring within the cartel; Fernando was the heir apparent, but he was in no shape to do anything but breathe right now. There were rumors that he would be leaving the area for a while after his son’s funeral, and I couldn’t blame him. Too many ghosts haunted his house, and everywhere he looked, he would be reminded of what had happened, what he used to have.

With a deep sigh to announce my presence, I put a hand on Ramón’s tightly muscled shoulder and squeezed. “Your mom ordered me to drag your ass out to eat, though I have no idea what in the fuck is open at this time of night.”

Instead of fighting me, Ramón shook his head. “I know a place, not too far from here, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to eat anything.”

“How’s their coffee? New day’s starting and it looks like you and I are shit out of luck about getting any sleep.”

The men around us laughed softly, our lives so saturated in violence even the atrocities we’d witnessed started to roll off our backs faster than it would for normal people. We were killers, all of us, born and bred, so what happened with Judith and Nina was par for the course. It was the boy’s death that haunted us and kept us from our beds. No one wanted to lay their heads down and close their eyes, only to see Jason’s mangled form burned onto their lids.

Ramón slapped my back, hard, no doubt reading my grim expression. “Come on. I need to get the fuck out of here.”

After I finished cleaning up, we walked through the service exit and into the deep of night, that ultra-dark and quiet time right before dawn, with a blend of exhaustion and the hope of a new day twisting in the air. The world felt old, used up and dull as I waited for the first hints of dawn to break the horizon and paint the sky crimson and the mountains in shades of lavender. Even though it was warm, the evening still held a blessedly cool tinge that felt good on my skin, refreshing me as we approached a brightly lit diner done in a retro theme.

I’d passed it many times, admired the old fashioned and elaborate neon sign out front, but had never gone in. Now as we pushed the door open, the smells of good, greasy food mixed with coffee and a hint of sweetness filled my nose, rinsing away the residual smell of blood from my mouth and mind. I took a deep breath, not really paying attention as we were led to a booth toward the back of the restaurant. The place was fairly busy and it took us a minute of shuffling to get to our seats.

Thankfully, the circular booth we were seated in was situated so both Ramón and I had a view of the door. Neither of us liked having our backs to the room and I didn’t feel like flipping him to see who sat where. The booth was high enough that it gave us a sense of privacy and I let the chatter of humanity wash over me.

I felt restless, edgy, as I contemplated Judith’s words. Some people may think just because I’m able to view a human being as nothing more than meat, it meant I didn’t or couldn’t have the desire for a loving family of my own someday. I wanted to find a nice girl, somehow con her into marrying me, and spend the rest of my life making her and my children happy. I’d always taken it for granted that I would find a good woman worthy of my devotion and we’d grow old together.

Now, after Nina’s betrayal, I wondered how I would ever be able to trust another woman again.

“Morning, gentlemen, my name’s Hannah and I’ll be serving you today.” A young female’s incredibly sweet voice rolled over my skin, stroking me from the inside out. “Can I start you out with some coffee?”

I turned to see who the enchanting voice belonged to, and was struck dumb by the leggy beauty smiling at Ramón as he placed an order for coffee, then added some pancakes and sausage to it.

Her long, long black hair was held back from her face in a high ponytail that still fell midway down her back, and she had the most delicate features I’ve ever seen on a woman. Big golden-brown doe eyes full of warmth and light, high cheekbones that curved down into a narrow, pointed chin, and lips so full they looked like they belonged on a porn star. Add to that a slender body with curves in all the right places, and even though she was dressed in a pair of loose brown pants and wearing a god-awful yellow apron over her white shirt, she struck me dumb with lust.

“Leo,” Ramón growled.

Realizing I was making her uncomfortable, and that the smile was fading from her lips, I gave her the grin women always fell for. “Coffee, black.”

She blinked and I had the strangest sense of déjà vu as our eyes met. “You got it. I’ll be right back with your coffee.”

As she quickly strode off, stopping to check with her other tables on the way, I watched her.

“What’s your deal?” Ramón asked in a low voice. “You know her?”

I squinted, trying to place her. I was usually very good at remembering people, and I swore she was familiar, I just didn’t know how. It wasn’t her looks—I’d have remembered those—but her voice and eyes that struck me. “I think I do, but I’m not sure.”

“Well, if you happen to remember she has a bounty on her head, don’t kill her until after I’ve eaten.” He grimaced as he scanned the room. “What did my mom want to talk to you about?”

I didn’t bother lying to him or trying to hide it. “Your mom needed a moment to deal with everything.”

Ramón’s long dark hair fell over his forehead and into his eyes as he looked down at the table top. “Thank you for being there for her. You know she thinks of you like a son.”

Something deep inside of me eased the slightest bit. “She’s a good woman.”

He laughed and rubbed his face, his hands rasping over the dark bristles of his unshaved face. “Fuck…she’s batshit crazy, but I love her to death. What else did she talk about? Something’s on her mind. I don’t know what but I recognize the conniving look on her face. She has a new resolve around her that scares me. Bad things can happen when my mother decides to do something.”

“She’s trying to figure out a way to make sure whatever woman you chose for your wife is loyal to you.”

A flash of pain went through Ramón’s hazel-brown eyes before he smiled. “Lemme know how that works out for her.”

“That’s what I said, but she’s got me thinking.”

“You wanna know what I’m thinking?” he growled in a low voice. “I’m thinking that normally I’d be fucking away my pain with one of the cute pieces of ass smiling at us from across the room. But as soon as I even consider having one of them suck my dick, I get this sick feeling inside of me like someone’s kicked me in the gut, so you don’t have to worry about me looking for a wife anytime soon. Fuck, I’ll be lucky if I can even jerk off anymore. Maybe you can brainwash me into forgetting that any woman I fall in love with could stab me in the back at any second.”

A burst of laughter came from across the room, and I followed the slim line of our waitress’s back as she practically danced through the growing crowd, her infectious smile and good nature making even the most surly patron grin back.

Tapping my finger on the cool tabletop, I pursed my lips as I thought. “Or maybe I could brainwash
them
into being loyal.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious.”

Ramón leaned forward, the creases around his mouth deepening with his frown. “Even if you did, where am I going to find a good girl who’s into my particular brand of kink? Not every woman is into the kind of dominance and submission we enjoy.”

“This is true.”

“I mean, how many women giggled the first time you told them to call you ‘Daddy’.”

For a moment, everything felt normal between us, our usual banter putting me at ease. “Not a single fucking one. Hard to laugh with a cock down your throat.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

I gave him a dry look, which he ignored while taking his phone out of his pocket. A second later he cursed, then stood and moved out of the booth. I went to do the same, but he waved me back. “Sit, eat my pancakes. I have to go deal with some family shit.”

“What happened?”

Looking incredibly weary, he rubbed his face. “Nothing to concern yourself over. Dad’s worried about me and wants me back home.”

“If you need anything—”

He clasped my shoulder, his voice hoarse as he said, “You were there for me, for
mi
familia
today, in every way we needed, and I’ll never forget it.”

After he left, I found my mind drifting again, the combination of exhaustion, too much caffeine, and lack of food dulling my wits. 

Our waitress spoke from nearby, and I realized she was talking to the people in the booth behind me. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but the soft cadence of her honeyed tone lulled me, soothed me, and melted through my bones like caramel. She was comforting whoever was in the booth, and as they talked with the waitress about their loved one in the hospital across the street, something clicked—and I remembered where I knew her from.

Hannah. The girl in the waiting room that I’d spoken with the night my mother died. It came back to me slowly, the braces, her awkward gait, the infinite sadness in her wounded gaze. I’d thought about her now and again over the years, wondering how she was doing, if her parents ever pulled their heads out of their asses.

When Hannah came back with the plate of pancakes, she glanced around before looking back at me. “Did your friend leave?”

“Yes, but I’ll take his food.”

It took everything I had just to get those words out, and as I stared at her, I marveled at the beauty she’d grown into. Her big eyes, now sparkling with life, had a slight tilt at the corners, and that mouth…Jesus it looked so soft, perfect for pushing my cock between. She’d put some kind of pale pink gloss on her lips and it reminded me of the way a woman’s pussy looked when she was aroused, puffy and slicked with her desire.

My gaze must have revealed more than I’d intended, because she got flustered as she smiled at me. “Can I get you anything else?”

“No, thank you.”

She smiled again, her gaze already on another table, where they were trying to get her attention. As I watched her, slowly eating my food I didn’t taste, I wondered how her life had been since that fateful night and what she was doing now. I wondered if she was happy, if she had a man who thought the sun rose and set on her brilliant smile, even though her ring finger was bare.

The more I watched, the more curious I became, and by the time she dropped off my check, I was already making plans to find out more about Hannah with the soft, sweet voice and generous heart.

One year later

Hannah

The hard pounding of bass from the nearby club reverberated down the street as I linked arms with my two best friends and strutted my stuff down the concrete of the still-hot sidewalk.

Well, I strutted what little stuff I had. When God had been handing out tits and ass, I must have gotten the bottom of the barrel because mine were barely a handful. Still, I added a swing to my hips and a lift to my chin as we approached one of the hottest bars in Phoenix on a warm spring night. A few days ago it had been my birthday, I was finally officially twenty-one, and I was super excited that we were on our way out to party in style, instead of at the crappy pub down the street from my apartment.

Unlike my regular bar, where they’d been serving my fake ID for years, with its faded brick front and windows layered with decades of grime in the corners, this dance club was less than two years old and reeked of wealth. Three stories high, the bar dominated the block, and inside was a massive adult wonderland of three clubs in one. On the first floor was mostly techno and dance music, while the second floor was divided up into a large bar area and a VIP lounge filled with semi-private alcoves. The third floor was officially admin, but there were rumors that there were private rooms up there as well, that could be rented for a night of debauchery.

I’d researched the club as soon as I’d found out I won three VIP tickets in some contest I didn’t remember entering, and couldn’t believe my good luck.

On my right, Joy, my curvy blonde roommate and best friend who’d gotten an extra, extra helping of boobs from God and angelically cute dimples to match, gripped my hand then squeezed. “I can’t believe we’re going to Obsession! Thank you so much for bringing me, Hannah.”

“Me neither,” Kayla chirped as our heels struck the pavement almost in sync. She had dark hair like mine, but hers was cut into a razor-sharp bob that accentuated her lean face. “You’re so lucky you won those VIP passes. There’s no way you could afford even a drink in this place if you hadn’t.”

“Can you
not
be a bitch for one evening, Kayla?” Joy growled, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

Unlike myself and Joy, Kayla came from money and her family was influential in the Tucson business community back home. Sometimes she could be a spoiled brat, and I’ve had to break up more than one fight between her and Joy, but we’ve been friends since were kids, so I’m used to her antics and usually just ignore them. It was easier to just give Kayla her way and move on.

Smiling brightly at Kayla, and pretending I didn’t see Joy glaring at her, I acted as though I didn’t hear the implied insult and instead said in a bright voice, “You got that right. I don’t even remember entering the Facebook contest.”

“You probably did it while you were drunk.” Kayla grinned, her new designer olive green silk dress flashing a good deal of her toned thigh as she walked. “Remember that time you ordered those god-awful beaded and rhinestone-encrusted duck sweaters off eBay?”

“Do I ever,” I groaned while tugging at the hem of my dress as it tried to creep up. “I learned the hard way not to get wasted and go one-click shopping. Those things were expensive! A hundred and sixty dollars for a duck sweater. I had to pick up extra shifts at work to cover it.”

My grin died off as we crossed the street, heat rising off the black pavement while we negotiated the slow-moving traffic. As the temperature dropped, more and more people had come out. An almost visible wave of excited energy rose off the long line of people winding around Obsession, all dressed to impress and waiting to get in. A wait we could skip, thanks to my lucky win.

People in line watched us as we dared to strolled past them up the white marble steps leading to the domed entryway, probably wondering what the hell we were doing. When we approached the purple velvet ropes guarding the club entrance, I gave myself a little pep talk and tried to appear confident. Any other night of the week and I’d be stuck at the back of the line, waiting to maybe get inside. But tonight…tonight I was somebody. Kind of.

Two of the four bouncers watching the entrance tilted their heads to watch us approach, then turned and spoke to each other in voices too low for me to hear. They were both very handsome Latino men who wore pitch-black suits, and in the deep purple-tinged lighting of the club’s exterior, they were intimidating as hell.

The guard on the left, a gigantic guy with buzzed black hair and a hard expression, took us in with a small twist to his thick lips.

With large diamond studs glinting in both his ears he was an intimidating sight, “Ladies, how can I help you?”

“Um…I’m on the list,” I said as I clutched my purse and tried to keep from withering beneath his surprised look.

Okay, so me and my friends weren’t supermodels or wealthy socialites, but we weren’t gutter trash either. The stares of the crowd grew and a couple women near the front of the line openly ridiculed Joy’s breasts as being porn star implants and instantly labeled her a whore. As they began to cut my friend down I was having a hard time not going over there and putting my foot up their pampered asses. Joy’s self-esteem wasn’t the best, nowhere near as bad as mine, but she was very sensitive and uncomfortable about her figure due to a lifetime of men ogling her admittedly sexy as hell body. And lets not forget how Joy’s older sister loved tearing Joy down. I know her sister is just jealous of Joy, but it still hurts my friend and has made her hyper aware of how other people see her.

Listening to those women cut Joy down added a snap to my words, “Hannah Barnes. That’s my name.”

He pulled out his phone and checked the screen for a moment before looking at me with raised eyebrows and said something. I missed the first part as the doors to the club opened and some gorgeous, laughing women stumbled out with their arms hooked around their male handsome counterparts, music booming from the club within.

It wasn’t until the doors closed again that I heard him say, “…gold-level VIP?”

Distracted by the sight of the model-perfect people going down the steps, I said, “What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were a gold-level VIP, Ms. Barnes?” He smiled, suddenly all charming and attentive.

“But I’m not. I mean, I won a contest.”

“Says here you’re a member.” He took a step closer and lowered his voice. “Ms. Barnes, please believe me when I say if by some miracle you accidentally got gold VIP status, don’t fight it. We’re talking free food and drinks for life.”

Shit, I’d eat here five days a week if I could and save a ton of money on grocery bills.

I wondered if they served breakfast.

“Wow…okay.”

“Excellent.” He winked at Joy, and I thought she might pass out as he unhooked the purple velvet rope for us next to a small gold sign that said “Elite Member Entrance Only”. “Please go inside, ladies. A hostess will be waiting for you. Enjoy your night.”

The women who’d been making disparaging remarks stared with open jealousy and I couldn’t help but give them a catty, smug smile as I strutted past them with my girls. Yes, it was petty of me, but it wasn’t every day I got to be a VIP anything. He must be wrong about the whole gold-level whatever, but for one night I was going to pretend that I was indeed a very important person, and that people knew I existed.

Though I wasn’t proud to admit it, I craved positive attention the way a drug addict craves their next fix, and I’d put up with a lot of bullshit to get it. I’ve gotten better, Joy has had to give me a couple “come to Jesus” speeches about letting people use me without giving anything back, but it’s a constant battle to keep from settling back into my default people-pleaser mode.

For a while after my sister’s death, I’d wondered if
I
hadn’t been the one who’d died, because my parents treated me like I didn’t exist. If it wasn’t for Joy’s family basically adopting me, I don’t think I would have survived my parents’ cold silence without losing my mind.

After graduation, I’d moved from Tucson to Tempe with Joy and Kayla to go to college. I was at the University of Arizona on a full scholarship I’d busted my ass for, and worked at a diner to make ends meet, which sucked but I had to do what I had to do. Unlike Kayla’s, my family didn’t send me money, and I didn’t have any trust funds, so my lifestyle was a lot more frugal than that of most college students. I’ve certainly never been able to indulge in going to a club where the mixed drinks cost close to fifty dollars apiece, and where everyone seemed so adult and sophisticated. Winning this night, getting to spend one evening pretending I’m someone other than a student and a server at a diner, was totally awesome, and I wasn’t going to waste it.

Plus, even though it was also petty, it felt good to be able to get us into a club that even Kayla, with all her dad’s influence, couldn’t.

A dark-skinned bouncer with a brilliant smile held the inner door open for us with a smooth, “Good evening, ladies.”

We giggled—he was really cute—then a tall, sultry brunette in a pale mint-green jumpsuit greeted us in the dimly lit entryway with a big smile as soon as we stepped inside. Her hair was back in a sleek ponytail and she was perfect from head to toe, but her blue eyes were friendly as she said, “Ms. Barnes, welcome to Obsession. My name is Tina and I’ll be your hostess for the evening. If you’ll please follow me, I’ll lead you to your private VIP area. It’s been fully stocked, compliments of the club. I hope you like it.”

I nodded, trying to act casual and hip instead of gawking at the huge dance club, the spectacular light show pulsing in perfect rhythm to the sensual, almost Latin beat of the techno music. “I’m sure we will. Thank you.”

Joy and Kayla trailed behind me as we walked through the busy club and I tried to keep from ogling the crowd like a tourist. Despite the long line outside, the inside was full but not packed, and I didn’t have to shoulder my way through the throng like I did at some of the local college bars. The feel of the place was certainly more cultured than the other clubs I’ve been to, cool and edgy with a hint of sensual darkness. Crazy beautiful women, and men, strutted their stuff on platforms around the club and moved like professional dancers. They wore impossibly tiny, sexy, sparkly, and obviously professionally made costumes that would have fit right in on stage at a glamorous Las Vegas review.

The whole vibe of this place was seductive, and I blushed as I stole a quick peek at a couple on the dance floor who were grinding and kissing passionately beneath lavender and indigo lights.

We took the stairs to the second level after passing a stainless-steel-topped bar, and I focused on keeping from falling on my ass. I didn’t normally wear heels, but these shiny ruby red stilettos were so sexy and I got them during a clearance sale for a steal. Plus, I’d rarely had anywhere worthy of wearing them to before so they’d been sitting in a box on my shelf for a while now.

They went perfectly with my thrift store little black Chanel dress that showed off a lot of leg and dipped low in the back. I’d kept my eyes simple with just an extra two coats of mascara and some eyeliner, but my bright red lipstick perfectly matched my shoes, drawing attention away from my stick-figure body and to my mouth. While my hair is a boring black, my eyes an even more boring light brown, I had inherited a set of full lips that I’ve been told even Angelina Jolie would envy. Of course, as a kid, they’d been just another feature to make fun of, so I was still kind of self-conscious about drawing attention to them, but guys seemed to like my mouth so that was a small ego boost that I desperately needed.

The music on the second floor was a little lower in volume, giving me the ability to easily hear Tina point out different aspects of the club as she led us through the crowd to a big, white, U-shaped couch with a low ebony table in the center, along with a bucket of ice and a bottle of champagne. Three streamlined champagne glasses glittered in the warm lights and a cool breeze came from overhead. Tall cut-glass vases filled with purple and pink orchids flanked the couch and a few throw pillows done in black velvet were artfully flung here and there. It was a space that managed to be modern and edgy, but also comfortable enough to make me sigh as I got off my already throbbing feet.

“This is your area,” Tina chirped with a smile as she expertly poured the champagne for us before handing out the glasses. “If you press the red button on the edge of the table, that will summon your server, Michelle. Anything you want is on the house, and Michelle’s tip has been taken care of. If you need anything at all, just let her know.”

Picking up my glass, I smiled and tried to play it cool when inside I was bouncing around like a kid who had too much sugar. “I will, thank you.”

“Enjoy your evening, Ms. Barnes. It was a pleasure meeting you.”

“Uh, you too.”

“Wow,” Joy said as she leaned forward, her ample cleavage squeezing together in a way I envied. “They’re treating you like you’re somebody important. I mean, Tina seemed ready to fall down at your feet and kiss your ass if you’d snapped your fingers.”

Kayla snorted. “Trust me, having people fawn over you gets old after a while. Everywhere I go, people see my black credit card, or know my father, and they start sucking up.”

“Seriously?” Joy said as she glared at Kayla.

“What?” Kayla looked away with a bored expression as she sipped her champagne.