Obsessed with Me - When she rejected him, he set out to destroy her - book 1 (10 page)

Ashwin said to Rheema that it was important he see me. Rheema’s presence would be a sort of decoy so that Tarago wouldn’t get mad about Ashwin visiting.

To soften up Tarago I am nice to him. I smile and laugh at his dumb jokes and I don’t yell at him once.

I put on a really tight white top that strains across my breasts and shows the imprint of my nipples, long skirt with a thigh-high slit and heels.

Finally, I knock at his room door and saunter in.

He appears surprised to see me. “Yes, what do you want?” His voice is abrupt yet he has a glint in his eyes.

Tilting my head and with a seductive smile, I say, “
Ek verlang na jou
(I miss you).”

To see Ashwin, I will speak to the oppressor’s language.

“Oh, really now?”

As I walk, I realize that he has never once invited me into his bed. He always comes to mine but he’s never asked me to his.

I walk over and sit on his bed.

He follows my every move and watches me in silence.

I pat the bed next to me.

He ambles over and sits next to me, then pushes me onto my back and climbs over me.

I allow him a deep kiss before I gently push him away. Trying to push him away is like trying to push away an eighteen-wheeler.

“I have something to ask you.” I say as I gently wipe away lipstick from his lips with my thumbs.

“What is it?”

I wipe some more lipstick. “Rheema, my friend wants to visit.”

“That’s fine,” he says and sticks his hand between my thighs.

“With Ashwin.”

He stiffens and looks at me. When he tries to remove his hand from between my thighs, I clamp my thighs together, preventing him from doing so.

“Please?”

He looks at me, his eyes hardening a bit.

I part my thighs slightly. He removes his hand, hops to his feet and walks away to the other end of the room. I prop myself up on my elbow and keeping my thighs apart, I look at him.

“Please?”

 “Is that why you’re being so nice to me?” He sounds hurt, disappointed.

“No,” I say in a voice unconvincing even to me. “But I really would like to see them and I promise I will not touch him, and I will meet him outside the pool area so you can watch. I promise.”

Silence.

I get to my feet, walk over to him and stand right in front of him. “I’ve asked you for nothing so far, so …please.”

He rubs his chin as his eyes fall to my breasts.

I nibble on my lower lip.

“Fine, but I want them out of here before the party starts.”

“Thank you!” I cry. “They’ll be out before the party, I …”

He grabs me, pushes me against the wall and kisses me hard. He literally tears off my skirt, before he pulls down my panties and fights off his belt buckle.

I’m still on my feet when he shoves his erection into me.

“I own you,” he says between thrusts.

Today, I will do nothing to make him mad or he may change his mind about Ashwin’s visit.

“Oh yeah?” 

He winds the fingers of both hands through my hair, as his thrusts increase in intensity. Unusually harsh and even rough, territorial.

With a smile, I close my eyes and picture Ashwin inside of me, twitching and pulsating.

He pushes up my top to free my breasts and takes a nipple in his mouth.

Finally he grabs my hips and thrusts hard until he explodes.

“You didn’t have to rip my skirt,” I say as I straighten my clothes.

He shrugs, defiant look on his face.

****

I rush into my room and start to prepare for their visit. My biggest challenge – how the hell do I kiss Ashwin without Tarago seeing?

The thought of kissing Ashwin makes me shiver with anticipation.

I style my hair, put on make-up, dress in a sexy black number that will be suitable for the party tonight, freshen my breath and smile at the mirror.

“What are you smiling at?”

I spin around to look at Tarago. He leans against the entrance of the doorway, arms folded across his chest, a sullen look on his face.

I frown. “Nothing.”

“Because of medium shirt? That idiot?”

I don’t answer.

His eyes sweep over me. “Why you dressed like that?”

I look at my dress then at him. “Like …how?”

The doorbells goes.

My eyes grow large with excitement. “They’re here. “ I hold up my index finger. “You behave, okay? No racial jokes?”

“Mff.” He has a look of distaste on his face.

No time to handle his childish behavior – I run down the stairs to Ashwin and Rheema.

“Hey, you guys!” I give Rheema a hug and a kiss, but I say hi to Ashwin, resisting the urge to throw my arms around him and kiss him. He may be medium shirt, but hey, he looks so good, I’d give anything for a hug.

“This place is beautiful,” Ashwin says as I usher them to the pool area. “So cool.”

Rheema says nothing. She seems intimidated by the surrounding and when I follow her eyes, I see Tarago on his balcony smoking and checking us out. Damn him for putting a damper on my evening!

“Ignore him,” I whisper as I hand them champagne.

Rheema declines, but Ashwin accepts. She even refuses the platters of cheese and other snacks I had specially prepared for them.

“You look good,” I whisper to Ashwin. “Handsome.”

To my surprise, he shifts around and runs the tip of his tongue over his lower lip several times. As if he’s nervous.

An awkward silence follows. Come to think of it, we have had a few since they arrived. Maybe meeting here was not such a good idea after all.

“Tanin, there’s something I have to tell you,” Ashwin says.

When I see the frown lines on his face, I cock my head and look at him. “What is it, Ashwin?”

“I … I …got …” He vigorously rubs his forehead. “Tanin, I got married yesterday.”

“Whaaaa…?!”

I look at him and frown. “What …?”

He blows out his cheeks and runs his fingers through his hair. It is then that I see the wedding band.

I gasp.

He nods. “I’m sorry, Tanin.”

A short silence follows.

Can this be a joke? Like …is it April Fool’s day or something?

“Ashwin, to …whom?”

He slowly rubs the back of his neck.

“Ashwin,” I repeat, “to fucking whom?”

 When he won’t answer, I look at Rheema. Her eyes are filled with tears.

“I’m pregnant,” Rheema says.

“What?!” I seem to be saying a lot of this today. Suddenly, reality the bitch, she bites. “He married YOU?”

Nobody answers. I leap out of my chair and look at them, as things crystalize.

“Are you fucking SERIOUS?!”

“Tanin, stop!” Ashwin says.

“Stop? Me? Are you out of your fucking minds?”

“Do you have to use such language?” he asks.” It’s so unladylike?”

“You’re worried about me being unladylike?”

I jab all my fingers into my hair and turn around several times as I try to get my mind around this.

I can’t.

None of this makes sense. My best friend is pregnant with my boyfriend’s child. Bet it will spook even the sanest of persons.

“When did this happen?” I ask, my eyes darting between the two of them.

Rheema looks at the ground, while Ashwin glances up at me, then quickly looks away.

“Look at me, Rheema!” I say. “I deserve the truth!” I’m so upset and angry that I don’t care that everyone can hear.

She lifts her gaze to meet mine. I see pain her eyes. I know my friend well enough to know that she feels bad about this. But…she stole from me. Ex-friend, now.

“Around the time you hooked up with Tarago, Tan.”

“Hooked up?
Hooked
up, Rheema? How the hell can you use those words? Don’t you remember my anguish at his ...his obsession?”

She doesn’t answer, just nibbles on her lower trembling lip.

“Did you two get married?” Ashwin asks.

“No,” I lie.

Ashwin’s head jerks to look at Rheema.

“That’s a lie!” Rheema says. “She is married.”

I flash my ring finger. “Can you see a ring on it?”

Ashwin suddenly has a confused look on his face.

I look at Ashwin, the man I love with all my heart. “You …you …Ashwin, you promised to wait for me. You told me that …you said that we both … you said, you promised and I believed …”

I start to cry.

He jumps to his feet and tries to put his arms around me. I shrug him off and take a giant step away from him. “She’s carrying your child, Ashwin.”

My hands start to shake. “That was supposed to be my baby, Ashwin. One boy and one girl. The third can be a girl, remember? That’s what we discussed.”

I look up and see Tarago, watching me, drink in hand. He’s probably seen everything, but I no longer care.

“Get out of here!” I say in a low, hoarse voice.

“Tanin, please!” Ashwin says, reaching out for me. I’m not sure, but I think he has tears in his eyes.

I take another step back and look at the ground. “I’ll see you guys out,” I mutter.

They exchange what-can-we-do looks and follow me to the door.

Ashwin tries one last time to talk to me. “Tanin …”

I hold up my hand. “Save it. Nothing you can say will change how my heart feels, Ashwin.”

I shut the door behind them and remain where I am. I don’t even try to wipe away my tears – they flow down my cheeks and collect under my chin.

When I do turn around, I look up into Tarago’s face. The way he looks at me tells me that he’s aware of everything – probably heard my conversation.

I brush past him and his glass of whisky and run up to my room, where I stand in front of the window in the dark and look out at the lights on the water.

I want to die.

Life without Ashwin. What hope is there? I want to curl into a ball and die.

I lie on the bed and let the hot tears soak my pillow. Why didn’t I see this? How could I not have? Where is Rheema’s loyalty?

How could Ashwin have destroyed all our dreams? Is that why he wasn’t fazed about taking the position in London? So he could fuck around without me knowing? I have so many questions. Without undressing I climb under the covers.

After tossing and turning for hours, I finally fall asleep.

When I open my eyes, I look at the clock on the wall – 03:42.

Tarago didn’t call last night.

Then the memories of betrayal deluge over me and my tears return with a vengeance.

What do I tell my family about Ashwin and I?

What do I tell my family about my sister from another mother, Rheema? We are related – second cousins who meet at family functions – how do I handle the shame of being dumped? Everybody knew that Ashwin and I were going to get married.

We were Tanin and Ashwin, not just Tanin. Our names went together like Bonnie and Clyde.

I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling as tears snake down the sides of my face and collect in my ears and soak my hair. I’m a mess. Inside and outside.

At around nine, there is a light knock at the door. Before I can answer, Tarago walks in with a breakfast tray. How the hell does he always know when I’m awake? It’s eerie. And it’s the first time he’s ever entered my room in the morning.

In a childish gesture, I quickly pull the covers over my tear-stained and mascara-streaked face.

He sits on the bed and slowly rolls down the covers to look at me. He’s not smiling for once.

I avert my eyes.

He tilts my chin to look at him.

“They are not worth it,” he says in Afrikaans.

I say nothing. He’s the reason all this happened and now he’s trying to comfort me?

I should be angry at him, but I’m not at the anger stage as yet. I’m still at shock and disbelief. Knowing me, anger will appear in all her finery pretty soon, but not just yet.

“I want to go home to visit my family,” I say in a hoarse voice.

He nods. “When?”

“Later on this evening.”

“And you will be back tonight?”

I nod. I know that he’s worried I will try to make contact with Ashwin.

“Bogas will drive you there and back. He will wait for you, okay?”

I nod.

“Now have some breakfast.”

“Just coffee,” I say.

He hands me a cup of coffee and watches me drink it. Watches my tears slide down my cheeks and into my cup of coffee.

Around five that afternoon, I get dressed and try to handle my messed up hair. I place ice-packs over my swollen eyelids and swallow a few headache pills.

At around 6 PM, I’m dressed and ready to leave.

But I don’t leave.

I lie in my bed fully clothed and stare at the wall. I don’t want to leave my room. I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t want to pretend to be okay, because I’m not.

Rheema and Ashwin plan to marry in three months’ time. Ashwin’s the only child, so his wedding will be huge.

My bitterness mushrooms.

“Tanin?
Wat maakeer
? (What’s going on?)”

I was so deep in thought, I didn’t hear Tarago enter.

Quickly I wipe my eyes and turn to look at him.

“
Bogas wag vir jou
(Bogas waits for you).”

“Yes, I know, but, Tarago, I can’t make it. I …I just don’t have the energy to go. Can you tell him that? Tell him I’m sorry for messing him around.”

He stares at me for a few moments before he walks to the door and shouts out to Bogas. Then he returns and sits on my bed.

He strokes my hair. I let him.

“I need to be alone,” I whisper.

He nods and reluctantly leaves.

The next day he returns with a gift box.

“A little present for you,” he says.

I eye the prettily wrapped box.

“Go on, open it.”

Reluctantly, I open it and find a chunky gold bracelet with rubies, sapphires and diamonds. It’s not something I would ever buy for myself. More Suzette’s style.

But he takes it and slips it around my wrist.

“Thank you, “I say wondering how much it’s worth. I’ve been buying jewelry for myself on a regular basis for the future. My nest egg, so to speak.

Chapter Twelve