Obsessed (14 page)

“I fucked up, Charlie.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, I don’t know man, I got in a situation and it went squirrely.  I had to do it, but…” he trailed off.

“Are you gonna speak in riddles, or are you gonna tell me what the fuck you’re talking about?” asked Charlie.  He was finally ready to get serious.

“The HOHers, they hit us a few weeks back…”

“Yeah, I heard about that.”

“What you probably didn’t hear is that when they did, they kidnapped a civilian.  Took her right out of the bar.”

“Damn,” said Charlie.  “That ain’t ever right.  Bad business is what I call it.”

“Yeah, well, this girl was there for me,” continued James.  “The only reason she was there in the first place was to talk to me, then things turned into a shit storm and they got her.”

“They took her back to their club?”

“Yeah, up to their spot in the hills.  I checked around with some of my guys and found out that’s where they were keeping her.”

“So what happened?”

“What happened was, I went to Hayes to talk about how we were gonna get her back, and the motherfucker didn’t want anything to do with it.”

Charlie shook his head.

“Yeah, exactly, Roads was right in his ear the whole time telling him not to do it.”

“So what?” said Charlie.  “That’s the call, kid.  If that’s what the president says, then that’s what goes.  It ain’t the right decision, but it is
the
decision.”

“You’re damn right it wasn’t the right decision.”

“So, I guess what you’re tellin’ me is you didn’t exactly abide by that decision, huh?”

James sat motionless, staring straight ahead.

“Shit, man.  Go on, tell me what happened next.”

“What the hell do you think happened, Charlie?  We rode on ‘em.  Got her back.”

“We?  Who’s we?”

“Me and Vaughn Dalton.  He’s always been down for me, so I took him along.  I couldn’t have done it without him.  And Charlie...Vaughn didn’t make it.”

“What?  Dreamboat’s dead?”

“It happened fast.  I thought we got out of there clean, but he took one in the back.  Died right there on the side of the road.”

Charlie slammed his fist down on the counter, rattling the silverware and glasses.  The other patrons in the diner all looked at us nervously.  “How could you be so damned stupid, James?”  He pulled a pack of cigarettes from inside his jacket and lit one.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t smoke that in here, sir,” said a man from behind the counter.  Charlie glared at him and took another puff.  “It’s a health code violation, and I’m the manager, so…” he trailed off.  Charlie continued to stare at him with dead eyes until he turned around and disappeared back into the kitchen.

“I know it was stupid, man, but what could I do?  It was my fault she got mixed up in that.  I couldn’t just forget about her.”

Charlie blew a smoke ring in the air and sat back on the stool.  “Yeah,” he pushed out a long, resigned breath.  “I probably would have done the same thing.  So what’s the word?”

“Word is,” said James.  “Hayes and Roads wanna put a fuckin’ bullet in the back of my head.  They’ve been askin’ around, lookin’ for me.  I’ve been holed up at some property my grandmother owned, that nobody knows about.”

“What about the girl?”

“I told her to stay at my place for a couple days, then go home.  Just bein’ cautious on that one.  I snuck into the city a few times to keep an eye on her.  Nobody’s lookin’ for her.  She’s fine.”

James spun on his stool to face Charlie.  “The whole damn thing would have worked out if we got back in one piece.  But when Vaughn got shot, that changed the game.  Shit, they would have put us up as heroes if we both made it back.  We took out at least six of ‘em.”

“And now they wanna make an example of you for going against orders.  When somebody got killed and it didn’t come on their word, that makes ‘em look bad.  You know that.”

“Can you talk to ‘em for me, Charlie?”

He laughed.  “Son, there’s no way in hell they’re gonna listen to me.  All that’s gonna come out of that is they’re gonna lean on me to tell them where you’ve been staying.”

“Can you try?”  It was the first time Charlie had ever seen James look vulnerable.  “They’re the only family I got, man.”

Charlie crushed his cigarette out in the plate of eggs.  “Alright man, alright.  I’ll try.”

***

I suppose it’s about time to get back to reality.  I had been planning on it for a while now, but I guess I was just waiting for something to happen.  I was fairly certain the bikers weren’t looking for me, which made me feel better, but I was also sure James had moved on as well.

Anyway, I spent the last night lining up job options.  I had a list as long as my arm of business to check in with and managers to speak with.  I always had been organized to a fault.

The mirror showed my unhappiness.  The bruises were all but gone and the little chip on my front tooth wasn’t noticeable unless you were looking for it, but eyes didn’t seem right.  They hadn’t had that twinkle since I got home.

That night I fell asleep with James, my head was full of possibilities.  I wondered if I would stay with him.  I thought about being by his side and riding on the back of his motorcycle.  I played out all the scenarios in my head.  Now those scenarios were fading into a distant dream.  A man like that couldn’t be tied down with one woman.  The letter was probably his way of letting me down easily.  I doubted I would ever see him again.

I unlatched the chain lock, and stepped into the hallway.  The lock was one of several extra precautions I had taken when I got home.  There was also a baseball bat leaned in the corner, a can of pepper spray (the kind they use on bears) under my bed, and the pocket knife on my bedside table.  Logically, I knew they were all going to be useless against a determined attacker, but they made me feel like I was doing something proactive.  I’m sure it was all for show anyway.  They wouldn’t be looking for me anymore.  James wouldn’t have left me on my own if they were.

The corridors echoed the way only dreary, empty corridors could.  My footfalls caused little sounds that turned into big, intimidating sounds as they rattled off the walls.  It’s interesting how things can be perceived.  Someone on the other end of the hall might think a heavy-footed construction worker was coming toward them.  They would be surprised to cross paths with an insecure twenty-something female.  The thought made me smile.  I stomped my feet a bit harder as I walked.

Fresh morning air filled my lungs.  It chilled me enough to make me consider running back upstairs to grab a coat.  But I didn’t.

My pocket started to buzz.  One of them was calling again.  Both Jenn and Brooke had been calling incessantly since I got home.  They showed more concern for me over the last couple of weeks than they had in the whole time we had been friends before.  I think they were trying to live vicariously through my experience.  They always wanted me to talk more about being locked up...about the abuse.  It was exciting to them.  To be honest, it gave me strong feelings when I thought about it, too.  Being taken like that was one of the worst things I had ever experienced, but, the danger of it all...being rescued and escaping, hiding out...it satisfied something I craved deep down.

Whatever that feeling had been, it was gone now.  My old, uneventful life was creeping back over me.  A desk job, late nights doing someone elses paperwork, and TV alone on the couch would take the place of rugged men, fast motorcycles, and living without abandon.

I had covered nearly two blocks without really realizing it.  My thoughts distracted me at every opportunity.  The pocket was buzzing again.

“Hey,” I said in the phone, not bothering to look at the caller ID.  I knew it would be one of them, probably Jenn.  She was the one most likely to be up this early.

“Hey, it’s Jenn.  What are you doing?”

“Ugh.  I’m going by a couple of places that had ads up.  I can’t lock myself in the apartment forever.”

“Katie, are you sure you should be doing that?  What if those…guys are still looking for you?”

“It’s…,” I hesitated.  “I’m fine now.  I think they care more about James than they do me.  Nobody’s looking for me.”

“You think he’s protecting you?”

“I don’t think so.  I’m not so sure I was ever that important.  The more I think about it, the more I believe the only reason they saved me was to let the other gang know they couldn’t get away with it.  I don’t think I mattered to him much at all.”

“Oh, wow.  Well, it must have been so scary to be held like that,” she said.  “Did they-”

“Jenn, I gotta go,” I lied.  They just motioned for me to come back to the office.”

“Okay, well call me la-”

I clicked the phone off and shoved it back in my pocket.  She was the kind of person who would never be able to take a subtle hint.  She would keep pecking and pecking until she heard what she wanted to hear.  Brooke was that way too.  They were like rubberneckers at the scene of an accident.  They just couldn’t look away and let me be for a while.  The whole story was incredible, I knew that, but it was my story, not theirs.

There was no way I was doing this.  I looked down at the note in my hand.  It held a list of names of people whom I never wanted to meet.  I crumpled it into a neat little ball and tossed it toward the garbage can along the wall of the high-rise.  It missed and bounced out to the middle of the sidewalk.  A man walking in the opposite direction swooped it into the garbage can in one smooth motion.  I offered him a weak smile and he nodded.

Down the street about fifty yards was a bus stop.  It looked like a good place to sit down.  I decided I would hop on the next bus and ride it to wherever it was going.  Damn the job search for one more day.

“Hey Honey, what are you doin’ out here in the city today?  You look good.”

I hadn’t even noticed him standing there.  Straddling a Harley on the opposite side of the street was a middle-aged man wearing a black leather vest over a gray tee shirt.  My heart immediately dropped into my stomach.

“Excuse me?” I asked.

He looked back at me with dark eyes.  Foreboding thoughts bullied their way into my distracted mind. 
Who is he?  Is he part of one of the gangs?  Are they watching me?
  As I tried to come up with the answers, I studied him more thoroughly.  He didn’t give off the same sort of importance as the other ones.  To me, he just
looked
like he wasn’t part of any gang.  Plus, he didn’t seem to be wearing any colors which signified affiliation.

“Excuse me,” I said “were you talking to me?” It took everything I had to keep my voice from cracking.

“Just wonderin’ what a pretty little thing like you is doin’ out here this morning…”

I broke into a cold sweat.  This couldn’t be a coincidence.  What are the odds, anyway, that a random old biker would cat-call me today.  They had to be sending me some kind of message.

“Oh, just on my way to my boyfriend’s house,” I lied.

“Hmmm, that’s interesting,” he said.  “lucky guy, I guess.”  But he didn’t crack a smile.  He stared back intently.

I quickly scanned the street to see if there were any more bikers.  There weren’t.  The surrounding area was full of regular people, just hustling to get to work or school.  There were no crazed bikers, as far as I could tell.  “Well, I gotta go,” I said, and started back toward my apartment.  The morning wind blew into my face.