Obesssion (16 page)

It all seemed so easy. I could tell she was feeling better, by the way she started quizzing me on the short car journey.
“So you think you know this house from somewhere?”

“
Yeah, I can’t explain it. It just feels like I’ve been there before, even though I don’t remember coming here.”

“
Maybe you came on holiday as a child.” She turned to give me a brilliant smile. “Why don’t you just ask your sisters? They might remember.”

Ah, yes. I’d invented three sisters.
“They’re all younger. If I don’t remember it, they won’t.”

“
Your parents, then. Ask them.”

What could I say? I never knew them. I’d been abandoned as a baby, or so I’d been told. One of the older kids fostered with me had told me, with great relish, how my mother had been a whore and my father had murdered her, then run away leaving me behind. I couldn’t tell Suki that. When asked, I usually opted for vague references to them being abroad, but compounding my lies with even more lies had started to weigh on me. I changed the subject instead.

“Have you been here before?”

She glanced at me, her head cocked slightly to one side. Did she realise I’d ducked her question?
“Only when I came up to visit Anita last week. I’d never been here before. I’m as new to Anglesey as you are.”

We’d arrived. I parked the Jeep on the wide grass verge and we sat gazing at the house.
“It looks as though it needs some work. Are you seriously thinking of buying it?”

I shrugged.
“I have no idea. I’m just curious about it. I want to have a look round. And besides, there’s a buyer already lined up. Some rich American.”

“
Is that your agent?” Suki pointed to Jess, waving at us from the now open gate. This was it, the moment of truth. Would I recognise the inside as strongly as I knew the outside? Or in a bizarre irony, was it just my mind playing tricks on me? I felt nervous. This was important, even if I didn’t know why. Was I going to see the room where my dream had been set? Our situations seemed reversed for a moment. Suki seemed the calm one, while I teemed with anxiety.

Touching the back of my hand lightly with her fingertips, her overlong sleeves trailed across my wrist.
“Shall we go? Are you ready?” Her voice was husky.

I grabbed her hand.
“Let’s go.”

She didn’t refuse.

8.5 Suki

“Mr. and Mrs. Summers.” As soon as the agent greeted us, I started to demur, only to feel Joe squeezing my hand.

“
Let’s pretend, it’s easier than explaining.” He whispered in my ear and then winked at me, before smiling in a way that made my stomach lurch. What the hell was I doing here? Gabe wanted me to talk to Joe, not swan around the countryside looking at houses and pretending to be his wife! All the same, it would be fun. I kept my mouth closed and my fingers meshed with Joe’s as we strolled across the grass and through a high wooden gate.

Rough gardens sloped away to the sea and a stone path overgrown with weeds led us to a dirty back door. It looked as though it hadn’t been opened for months, even years. I wrinkled my nose as we stepped inside. Every surface was caked with dust and mouse droppings. Spiders and beetles scuttled away as we walked into what would once have been a magnificent kitchen. A long window faced out towards the sea, even in its filthy state there was enough sunlight breaking through to light up the room. The agent tsked as she poked at a pile of rubbish with her toes. Empty crisp packets crinkled and more mouse droppings shifted.

“I’m sorry. It looks as though someone has been sleeping rough in here.”

I glanced at Joe, his eyes flashed back and forth, restless.
“Can we go upstairs?” His voice was almost sharp, and the agent stared for a moment before pulling herself together.

“
Of course. We’ll go upstairs first.”

He didn’t speak as we followed her up a winding staircase, his hand tightly holding my own. The upstairs landing split at the top of the stairs. When the agent turned left, Joe tugged me right instead.

“The bedrooms on this side must open onto the sea.”

She nodded.
“Yes, I believe there are two bedrooms on that side.” Joe was already pushing a door open, shoving as it stuck in the frame. It opened suddenly. He lurched into the doorway, looked around and then carried on up the corridor. It felt as though he was searching for something. He didn’t speak.

The agent, Jess, referred to her notes.
“There are six bedrooms on this floor with another in the attic, probably used as servant’s quarters when the house was first occupied.”

Joe grunted, tried the next door, leaning hard against it and probably expecting it to stick. Instead, it flew open easily and he followed, stumbling as he overbalanced, dragging me behind him, our hands falling apart.

“Oops,” I laughed, as we righted ourselves, turning to speak to Jess on the landing. “When was it last occupied?”

“
It must have been ten years ago. The house changed hands, but the buyers didn’t stay long, and then had trouble selling. I think it’s been on the market some time.”

“
Strange, it’s in a lovely position.” I grinned at her. “It’s not haunted, is it?”

Her sudden flush was my answer. Looking down at her notes, she flicked through them, trying to avoid my eyes. I laughed briefly, turning back to see if Joe had heard us, and stopped.

He stood at the window staring out to sea, his body frozen, one hand resting lightly on the dirty glass. Even from the doorway I could tell something was wrong. His shoulders rigid, he seemed lost in a world of his own. I padded across the dusty floor—the only footsteps were Joe’s cowboy boots—and joined him at the window. The view was amazing. From here, you almost looked directly down onto the water, towering cliffs in the distance framing the sweep of the bay.

“
Joe?” I touched his waist. He jumped and turned to face me, his eyes wide against now pale skin. He looked ill. I noticed he was trembling and shocked, I held out my hand to him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you…” The words died in my throat as he gazed at me. It was as though he was seeing me for the first time. His eyes swept over me, from the top of my head down to my feet, drinking me in, intense and serious, fingers lacing tightly with my own.

“
I know you,” he whispered, his free hand rippling through my hair. I’d left it loose this morning, it tumbled to my shoulders and he caressed it, a sense of wonder in his eyes. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, every atom of me felt drawn to him. I puzzled over his words—he knew me?

“
Why don’t you know me?” His voice so soft, he might have been murmuring the question to himself. The hand in my hair shifted, fisted, and tilted my face to him. His eyes so dark, the amber flashes glowing like fire, burning as he closed the distance to sweep his lips across mine. I gasped. A moment of hesitation, he waited, and then kissed me again. Soft, sweet warmth, he smelled fresh and crisp, he tasted like a summers day. I was right, his name suited him.

Slanting his lips, he claimed me, easing me closer before turning up the heat. Gentle no longer, he was hungry for me and nudged at my lips with his tongue, demanding entrance. I couldn’t refuse. He gave a little murmur of approval and explored my mouth, sucking on the tip of my tongue and nipping at my lower lip. I existed purely for one thing only: to be kissed by this beautiful man.

When he pulled back, I sucked in a deep breath. I’d forgotten to breathe. My heart pounding, every inch of my flesh tingled as though I’d been zapped with a bolt of electricity. Our hands were still meshed, without me realising, my free hand had risen to tangle in his shirt front, the fabric crumpled beneath my fingers. I felt scorched by the blast of heat in his eyes, he hadn’t just kissed me, he’d
branded
me. Staked his claim every bit as much as Gabe with his hickey…

Gabe.

I gulped. What had I just done?
I’d kissed a man who was not my husband,
snapped the sarcastic voice in my head. And I’d enjoyed it. No, that was too tame a word. I’d devoured him every bit as much as he’d possessed me.

I jerked back, stunned, abandoning him, brushing my lips with shaking fingers, touching the sensitive flesh—already missing him. My eyes never leaving his dazed face.

“You
do
know me,” his voice raw with emotion.

I couldn’t speak. Struck dumb by the enormity of what had just happened, I could only shake my head and back away from him. One step, it could have been a mile, the chasm that had opened between us. A flash of hurt in his eyes, quickly masked. Still, I couldn’t look away.

And I couldn’t quiet the voice inside my head. The insistent little whisper.
You want him
.

8.6 Josh

So this was how it felt when time stopped. A roaring noise in my ears. The thrum of my pulse. One word pounded through my head, barely held back from my tongue.
Mine
. My world had changed, tilted on its axis and smacked me round the head on the way.
MINE
.

Suki’s look of abject horror stopped me in my tracks. A voice behind us, the agent, finally caught my attention. Wrenching myself away from Suki, I looked back at Jess to see her face pink and embarrassed.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, we only have a short time here. Do you want to see the rest of the house?”

Did I? I think I’d seen enough. This was the bedroom, I hadn’t imagined it. And when Suki had touched me…
God
. I fully expected to open my eyes now and find myself in bed, hundreds of miles away in my apartment. Suki stepped away, turned her back on me, fiddling with her phone, reading a text message. Gabriel, I was sure. She’d hunched her shoulders, a keep-away gesture to me. Jealousy washed through my stomach in a hot rush.
Mine
.

Jess waited patiently for my answer while I gazed, helpless, at Suki.
“I, ah, yeah. A quick look will be fine, thanks.” Suki ignored me, punching a text into her phone, her nails clicking as she tapped with speed. “Ah, Suki. You coming?”

“
Uh-huh.”

Jess gave off waves of curiosity, but Suki was still closed off. This would be one time when it would be really useful to have some insight into her mood… and there was nothing. Plucking up courage, I touched her arm and winced as she jumped, instantly sidestepping away from me.

Her eyes met mine, hostile and wary. “I’ll follow you in a minute.”

Jess chattered as she swept through the house, but I didn’t take anything in. I knew the exact second that Suki walked up behind me. I turned to smile at her, she shook her head in reply. Finally, the tour was complete. Jess had driven away, waving cheerfully while Suki and I stood next to my Jeep, matching polite smiles plastered on our faces.

“You’re not really here to interview me for a feature, are you?” She snapped the words out, arms crossed as she leaned against the hood of the car. With her hair swirling in the breeze and her eyes squinting against the bright sunlight, she looked so desirable. I wanted to take her there, on the car, in the open air, regardless of anyone walking past.
Mine
. I’d never wanted anyone more.

How could I reply? She didn’t wait.
“Hell would have to freeze over before Gabe would okay you following me around like this.” She paused for breath.

One hand uncurled, a delicate finger prodded my chest squarely in the middle.
“I know you’re lying to me. I just don’t know why. Is Anita right? You’re trying to dig up some gossip to embarrass us with? I’m married to the most amazing man and one little kiss doesn’t change anything. Understand?” I caught her hand, she yanked it free and crossed her arms again, glaring at me. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”

I winced again. From fucking mind-blowingly-awesome to the depths of crud. How long had it taken
—ten minutes? I searched her face, trying to find a hint of the passionate woman I’d kissed. Right now, she looked more inclined to knee me in the bollocks.

“
Well?”

I swallowed. Considered which lie to trot out this time, and knew I could never tell her the truth.

“I recognised you from your TV show, and yes, I have met your husband. Anita saw me talking to him, if you don’t believe me.”

“
And the feature? Which magazine are you writing for exactly?”

Ouch, that was a tricky one.
“I’m freelance, it’s not definite yet.”

“
Bullshit.”

I met her flinty stare with a calm face, pulling on every reserve of armour I could gather together. My chest hurt with the strain of seeing her so angry and not being able to
feel
it. It was as though I’d lost one of my limbs; I felt handicapped, useless.

“
It’s a speculative piece. I don’t have an editor lined up yet, okay?”

“
You told me you write computer game reviews. This is a big step up—or was that a lie too?”