Oathbreaker (2 page)

When I looked back at Trevor, it was with new suspicion. Had he anything to do with it? He was the one who had told Loki where to find me. I shook my head. No, that was crazy. Trevor would never have knowingly put me into harm's way, if for no other reason than it would be risking his own life as well. Then again, maybe he viewed the risk worthwhile, and he did have an over abundance of confidence in my fighting skills. I'd bested him and his two brothers in a fight. It lent me a certain amount of credibility with the Froekn, I guess. But no, he wouldn't have done that to me. He loved me.

“I love you,” he said suddenly, almost as if he read my mind. He pulled me over to a hill shaped couch, nestled back in some trees.

“
I love you too, honey-eyes,” I laughed, trying to let go of my dark thoughts, and snuggled into his side, pretending for just a moment that we were a normal couple. There were no werewolves, no werelions, no vampires, and no gods. Just us, in love for real.

The thought made my teeth clench. For real? What did that mean? What we had
was
real wasn’t it? Why couldn’t I just leave things alone and be happy? I always had to pick at my happiness and worry about it. Like there was only so much happiness allowed to one person and if you got too much, the Happy Police would knock down your door and take you away. “Sorry Ma’am, you’ve violated section 28.3 of the Happiness Code: Excessive happiness with a werewolf. I’m going to have to take you in.”

“
Hey, you okay?” Trevor tucked his face down to look at me.

“
I'm great,” I ran my fingers through the hair at his temple and he sighed, his eyes closing automatically. His body swayed forward, pushing me into the faux-grass covered back of our couch. I felt his arms wrap around me and then his mouth was on mine, ferocious and demanding. I finally pulled back, holding his face in my hands. “Are
you
okay?”

“
I just have this horrible feeling that you’re pulling away from me,” he shook his head and sighed. I didn’t know what else to do, so I lowered my hands to his shoulders and began to massage them.

“
I love you,” I sighed as the music faded into the background. “It’s just, sometimes I wonder how much of it’s magic.”

“
Excuse me?”

“
You love me because of the Binding, baby,” I tried my hardest to be gentle. “Is it really love if you don’t have a choice?”

“
The Binding isn’t about love, it's about commitment,” he looked like he was about to throttle me. “It builds desire but only to solidify the commitment, the bond. When werewolves perform a Binding, it's assumed that love is already there. We wouldn't bind ourselves if it wasn't.”

“
So, it doesn't make you love me?” Boy had I misunderstood.

“
No, I love you because you’re amazing. I love you because you have the spirit of a witch and the heart of a Froekn. The Binding isn't what makes me love you. It’s just an excuse to stay with you, even if you stop loving
me
.”

His words had the immediate effect of unleashing the waterworks and he wiped my tears away gently. My big bad wolf could be such a softie and it made me wimp out too. All my anxiety flowed away and the tears were half from relief, half from affection. I pulled him against me, holding on tight, hoping that this new security would last.

“How could I ever stop loving you?” I whispered into his shirt. He pushed me away and dropped to his knees, while he took my hands in his.

“
Then marry me,” he stared up at me intently, wolf eyes all aglow.

“
What?” I barely got the word out.

“
If you love me, then marry me,” he kissed my hands. “You don’t have to bond with me, just marry me like humans do.”

Like humans do
. The words swirled in my brain, coming to their obvious conclusion. A conclusion that I’d already known but hadn’t felt so profoundly until that moment. Trevor wasn’t human… he’d never
been
human. What kind of future did we have? I'd begun to think he was perfect for me. He wasn’t immortal since he’d bonded to me, so we could grow old together like regular people, and he seemed to love like I did, completely. With Trevor came some semblance of normalcy but what would marriage mean? Was I ready to marry a werewolf? Have little wolf babies? I just didn’t know.

“
Vervain,” he started to look wounded. Damn it, Trevor didn’t play this game, acting the victim was a Thor thing. Why was he being like this?

“
Trevor,” I knelt with him and took his face in my hands. “I don’t know if I’m ready to take that step. It's so soon.”

“
So you love me, you say you’ll never stop,” the hurt look was turning into anger. “But you won’t commit to me?”

Commit. Sweet baby Jesus, wasn’t that a woman’s word? I sighed but before I could say anything more, he stood up and dropped my hands. I stared up at him in shock, feeling lost on my knees alone. He was furious. The little piece of him raced around inside me, like he was tearing at me from the inside as well as out. It was almost unbearable.

“Trevor,” I stood on shaky legs and reached for him but he pulled away.

“
Enjoy your evening, Rouva,” his face fell into the cold angles of a stranger as he turned and walked down the stairs.

I just stood there like an idiot, gaping after him. I didn’t call him back. I couldn’t get my voice to work. I just kept thinking,
He can’t leave me, he can’t
. Trevor was the one who was supposed to stay. Forever. No matter what. This was the one relationship I shouldn't have been able to fuck up.

Then the voices came. The same voices that taunted me when Thor ended our relationship. Telling me men are all the same. They all leave in the end. They all hurt you no matter what they say in the beginning. The worst part is knowing that those voices are all really just me. Why do I do this to myself?

I sank to the ground, up against the couch, and hugged my knees to my chest. The bastard just stormed off like a child. I was getting mad and I welcomed it. I pulled that anger around me like a shield because if I didn’t, I was going to fall apart. Is this what I’d been missing all those years I’d been single? Well who needed it? I was better off alone, just me, my cat, and a lot of batteries. There’s a reason why some women turn into little old cat ladies. Cats are easy; you feed them, you love them, and they love you back.

“
Vervain.”

I looked up, hoping it wasn’t Ty. I didn't want to have to explain things to Trevor's little brother. It wasn’t Ty though, it was Odin. Much, much worse.

I'd gone to Odin for training in shifting. During the course of the training, we'd fallen asleep and I woke up to him kissing my shoulder. I know, not exactly cataclysmic but Odin had unnerved me
before
the incident. After that little kiss, I couldn't get him out of my head for weeks.

There were so many reasons why forming an attachment to Odin would be a bad thing. Not the least of which would be the werewolf who'd just stormed off but also, the fact that Odin was Thor's father kind of squidged me out. Then there's him being one of the “bad” gods who I was technically at war with. Oh the list goes on, so basically, I'd avoided him ever since. He was the last person I wanted to see.

“Are you alright?” Odin had his one eye focused intently on me.

Why do people always ask you if you’re alright when you’re obviously not? And why do those words always send you over the edge and make you lose what little control you may have gathered? I started to cry; big, ugly, body-wracking sobs, like my world was falling apart. The poor guy looked appalled for a second before he dropped to his knees and pulled me into a tentative embrace.

He rocked me gently and amazingly, I felt calmed by him. It felt good to be there. It felt right, like I'd done it a thousand times before. I snuggled closer, desperately needing to feel something steady. Then the crisp scent of clean mountain air filled my nose. Smelling Odin was like standing on a cliff, you could almost feel the wind blow through your hair. It cooled and invigorated me. It filled my lungs and refreshed me. My tears dried and I looked up at him, startled.

He’d wrapped his leather jacket around us and I hadn’t even noticed. I could feel the warmth of his body but still, I was pleasantly cool. His face was close to mine and I pulled back to get him into focus.

Dark brown hair falling to his shoulders, close-cropped beard along his angled jawline, a long nose, and sharp brows. Odin’s one beautiful eye gazed down on me and then there was a bright flash. I blinked and saw him with both eyes. The image was fleeting, like a memory superimposed over reality, but it was vibrantly clear and it made me gasp. Then it was gone.

“
What is it?” He stroked my cheek gently, wiping away the remnants of my heartache.

I just stared at him awhile. Most men would have gotten nervous or repeated their question but Odin just waited patiently. He was the God of the Dead as well as the Sky, so it made sense that he’d have patience. I appreciated the quiet, my vision had been disturbing.

I took a few breaths, listening to the stream behind me make its way to the edge of the second floor where it flowed over the side, becoming a waterfall and crashing into the pool on the first level. From serene to violent, it felt like an appropriate soundtrack for my emotions.

I’d never been one to have visions before, and now I'd had two. Both connected to Odin. The last had been during our training session. He had reached out a hand to me and I had a glimpse of the same hand looking darker, more tan. I thought I heard something too but for the life of me, I couldn't recall it anymore.

It just made no sense. Why would I see images of Odin looking differently? What did it mean? It’s not like seeing him whole was some great revelation. I already knew he hadn't been born with only one eye. Weren’t visions supposed to tell you something important? Weren’t they supposed to foretell the future? I was so screwed up, I couldn’t even have a proper prophecy.

“
When did you lose your eye?” I finally asked.

He blinked rapidly. “A very long time ago. I gave it to Mimir as payment for a drink from his well. The well is an old relic of ours and can grant great knowledge if the sacrifice is great in kind. Mimir always said my eyes were too beautiful for me to have two of. So now he has one of them.” He shrugged as if losing an eye were like losing a tooth. “Why do you ask?”

“I just saw you with both of them,” I frowned, his information hadn’t helped. I'd never even met Mimir. Would this person have a part to play in my future? “I don’t know why, it makes no sense.”

His face went still and I pulled further back, studying that stillness. Then he took a deep breath and bowed his head. I forgot about my own pain as I watched his. It must be hard for him to remember being whole. I wondered if he regretted giving up his eye. Maybe the nonchalance was just a mask for his sorrow. I felt bad for judging him so quickly. My hand moved up through his hair, brushing back some hanging strands as I leaned down to look into his face.

“I didn’t mean to bring back painful memories.” I said. I thought I heard him whisper but it was too low to make out. I could’ve sworn he said something about
me
being the painful memory, but that’s just ridiculous. I hardly think one shoulder kiss could cause heartache. I may have the Love magic now but I hadn't used it on him. “What was that?”

“
Nothing,” he looked up. “Are you going to tell me what happened with Trevor?”

Trevor! I felt the crushing hurt return and inhaled sharply. “He asked me to marry him.”

“And this upsets you?” Odin sat back on his heels with a shocked thump and pondered me like I was a new species.

“
No,” I sighed. “I’m not ready. We just started living together, it's too soon to get married. So I upset him, which in turn upsets me. He says I should commit to him if I love him.”

“
No pressure then,” he smirked and I laughed. I couldn’t believe he cracked a joke in the midst of my misery. That was kind of my specialty.

“
Exactly,” I shook my head. “That’s the thing with Trevor. There’s always been pressure on me, even before we were a couple. He bonded himself to me without my knowledge or permission, and then suddenly I’ve got the responsibility of this man’s life on my hands. I have to touch him at least once a month or he’ll get sick and die. Die! How’s that for pressure?”

“
Binding is very serious,” Odin frowned. “He shouldn’t have entered into it without your consent.”

“
He says since I saved his life, it belonged to me anyway,” I leaned back as I explained. “I started the Binding without even realizing it, when I refused his offer to defend me.”

“
Right,” Odin nodded, “I'm familiar with the process. It's supposed to show that they’re steadfast and you’re deserving or some shit like that.”

“
Yeah but usually it’s between two wolves and they both make the bond,” I rubbed my aching temple. “He was bonded to me before I knew what was going on. I didn’t want him to be tied to me, wasting his life being faithful to me while I loved another man, but Thor said I'd become his happiness and Trevor would be content just to touch me occasionally.”