Numb (Senses Series Book 3) (3 page)

Chapter 5

Maxx

“God, Maxx,” his voice whispers in my ear, a small nibble on my ear follows. “You feel so fucking good.”

I moan back, “Yeah?”

He groans again as he pushes slowly deeper inside. “Baby, I want you to know something.”

Feeling the tingle of an orgasm quivering in unison with Logan’s words I whimper, “Yes?”

“I lo-

“Wakey wakey eggs and bakey.” My aunt’s voice disturbs the sleep I didn’t even realize I’d slipped into.

How could I not grasp the simple concept that I was dreaming? When else would Logan ever confess out loud that he loves me? Huh. Come to think about it, he didn’t even technically admit it in the dream.

Struggling to open my eyes I mutter, “Do you actually have eggs and bacon?”

“Yup.” The confirmation causes my eyes to shoot open as my stomach grumbles. “I went out and grabbed your favorite breakfast tacos from that little place on the corner. And before you tell me you’re not hungry, your stomach just gave you away.”

Why does my body always betray me? During Sex. Involving food. I swear, sometimes it’s like I’m on the outside looking in. That sounds weird doesn’t it?

“You ate nothing last night.”

“Not true.” I pull my body up from the cat like, curled position it was in.

“Michael brought you a cupcake didn’t he?”

“Try six.” I inform her with a soft giggle.

“Por supuesto que no está bien!” she fusses at me. “Cupcakes are not dinner, mi hija.” Another grin comes on my face as she says, “How many times have I told you frosting is not a vegetable?” She pats my lap. “Come on. Let’s eat.”

My body goes to move when the events of yesterday come spiraling back to me on attack. Freezing in place I ask, “Is she still here?”

“Yes.” Aunt Caroline fiddles with her hot pink, floral off the shoulder top. “But unlike yesterday, I won’t make you talk to her. I just need you to eat, mi amor.” With a soft smile she bargains. “Deal?”

Knowing it’s a simple request I nod. “Deal.”

As Aunt Caroline stands up and heads towards the door, I decide it would be best to pull myself together before facing the blonde beast.

“Can I just have a minute?” I meekly ask.

“Sure, sweetheart.” She shuts the door behind her giving me privacy.

For a brief moment I let my eyelids fall.

Did yesterday really happen? Did my mother, of all people, walk back into my life and demand to be a part of it? Who does that? Who abandons a child for 15 years and then all of sudden wants back in? That’s not family! That’s not how you treat someone you love! I have a family. Aunt Caroline. Uncle Mike. Luke. Erin. Logan. Geez, Logan. How he treated me was a little fucked up. I mean, I’m allowed to be mad about that right? But he’s family. He’s just as important in my life as Luke and Erin, and I have to talk to him. I have to face him even if it’s just for him to try and push me away. As much as I hate to admit this, I still want him. I miss him. Hell, I actually
need
him right now. Funny what happens when a little too much pressure is applied to your life at the wrong time.

I drag myself out of my room and head straight for the kitchen table where I flop down once more across from
Hit Me Baby One More Time
all aged out.

Shit. Now I’m singing it. You too?

“Well there’s my daughter,” she sighs behind a coffee mug.

Looking around the kitchen as Aunt Caroline puts a plate down in front of me, I sarcastically ask, “Where?” Uncle Mike hides a snicker behind a closed fist.

“Did you sleep well?” she offers, clinking her painted nails against the cup.

“As well as one can when el diablo is in the house.” This time Aunt Caroline stifles her laughter.

“You left in such a rush last night—”

“Apparently that’s what I do when bad news hits. I run.”

“That’s what you consider having a brother—”

“He’s not my brother,” I correct her quickly.

“Excuse me?”

Putting down the taco I have yet to have a bite of I clarify, “He is not my brother. I have a brother. His name is Luke. He likes guys who have blond hair because he used to have a crush on Lance Bass growing up. He knits when he’s stressed. And he secretly has a fly fishing obsession because it reminds him of his own father.”

Annoyed she tries to interrupt. “Maxx—”

“And a sister. I have a sister. She looks like a pinup model, has a crazy talent with makeup, and thinks no one knows that she swears by her Paula Dean cookbook like it’s the bible. And to top it all off, I have a guy that falls asleep beside me who suffers from nightmares, and
I’m
the one he reaches out for at night. It’s
my
name he calls out to hold him. Because I care about him. Because he cares about me. Because we are
family
.”

Uncle Mike clears his throat catching my attention. He nods his approval at me and finally I take a bite of my breakfast taco.

Thank God too. I have barely eaten in like three days and these tacos are nothing to miss! I haven’t had them in months because they’re so far from where I live now. Plus, I’m starving. Between you and me? It’s nice to have my appetite back.

“That’s not blood.” Her correction is spit with venom like the snake she is.

“If I have learned anything in my entire life it is that sharing DNA does NOT make you family. Families are there for each other. Families take care of one another. A family member is the one that holds your hand when someone who called herself your mother gets on a fucking plane to start a new life without you! Family is the one that holds you at night when your cry yourself to sleep asking why your own mother didn’t want you. Didn’t love you. We are not family.” She opens her mouth to say something when I prevent her by asking, “And why the sudden change? It’s been 15 years since you left me. How old is your son?”

“10.”

“He’s 10?” The shock slams me back against my seat. “So you wasted practically no time after dad died huh? You waited 10 years before telling me about him. Why now? Why fly around the world to drop this bombshell in my life?”

“He has a right to know, Maxx.”

“So this is about him?” I push my plate away, hunger pains replaced by something else.

Not sure if it’s jealousy or anger. Maybe resentment? I’m entitled to feel all those things right now, aren’t I?

“Nothing really to do with me.”

“Maxx—”

“No.” I hold out my hand to shut her up. “It’s okay. I gave up on thinking you gave a shit about me a long time ago. The answer to your question, Mrs. Britt Beamount, is no. I will not meet your husband, and I will not help you destroy the childhood of another poor unsuspecting minor. I don’t know what demons are eating you up inside, but I can tell by the way your Botox induced face is trying to wrinkle, they are something nasty. Whatever your inner struggle is about, leave me the hell out of it. And as for Wilfred…”

Who names their kid that? That’s just mean!

“When he gets old enough to catch onto the fact that his parents aren’t picture perfect, and that you had another life before his father, you have my permission to give
him
my contact information.” Standing up, I eyeball my half-eaten breakfast taco craving more. “I have to go. I’ve got thirty minutes before I’m late for work.”

“Maxx.” Aunt Caroline offers up her voice for the first time since I came into the kitchen. “There’s a brown paper bag on the counter. Has tacos in it for you to take to work.”

“And a cupcake.” Uncle Mike winks before Aunt Caroline shakes her head.

“No es un alimento para el desayuno!” she cries out, tossing a hand in the air.

“Eh.” He shrugs. “I think cupcakes can be a breakfast food. In my world they are an anytime of the day food.”

“Loco!”

“Thank you,” I say to the two of them chuckling away at their playful spat. “I will see you in a couple of weeks for dinner.”

“Bring the boy,” Uncle Mike says lifting his mug once more. “I’m assuming he’s the same boy who always snuck in through the window late at night rather than using the front door?”

My face heats as I remember the sex conversation I had with him and Aunt Caroline.

Do you have any idea how awkward it is to hear your Aunt and Uncle tell you sex is a perfectly acceptable, natural act between two consulting people before being offered a pack of condoms because you need to be safe? I was so mortified I never got around to explaining to them that they had nothing to worry about because we weren’t into each other like that.

“That would be the one…”

“As I thought. Tell him he needs to come in through the front door like a gentleman and not through the window like a street rat.”

“He’s not Aladdin, Uncle Mike.”

Man, I wish I had a genie right now. I’d use one wish to send away the worthless woman who did the impossible by making a perfectly fucked up day even more so,  and the other to undo the animosity between Logan and me, so that maybe we’d have a real shot at working out. I’d save the last wish for an ‘in case of an emergency’ situation.

“You let her have a
boy
spend the night?” The shock in the serpent’s voice is my cue to leave.

Grabbing the brown paper bag, my purse, and my keys that are waiting for me, I make an exit just as Aunt Caroline snips, “Oh shut it, Britt. It’s not like she dumped her niña and ran off to Paris with her boyfriend who she could’ve babysat for in high school.”

Did I forget to mention what a pistol my Aunt Caroline can be when she’s not in the mood to be sweet? Or when you’ve upset her only child? I once had an English teacher who gave me an F on a paper and made me cry in the 8th grade. Let’s just say by the time Aunt Caroline was done with him, in English and Spanish, that F became a B.

***

Walking around the ballroom space, I do my best to not spill egg crumbs on the floor while Tony does the same.

I know. I’m a pretty messy eater.

“Right there?” He points at a corner spot close to the glass doors that swing open. “You’re right. Perfect place for the bar.”

“They can just sneak outside on the patio for their seduction games.” My hand waves around allowing egg to fall.

I’ll pick it up. Yeah. You’re right. Probably not.

“Seduction games?” He folds the last of the tortilla and shoves it in his mouth. “Don’t you mean networking?”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

After he lets out a light laugh he nods. “I see you are in a better mood.”

I shrug. “Somewhat. That’s what happens when the woman who gave birth to you and split ten years later, magically pops back into your life like some sort of balloon toy.”

“What?” His face is appalled. “Your mother’s here?”

“Yeah. And let’s just say that after spending some time with her I got a real grip on my reality and on the definition of family.”

“Does that mean you wanna tell me what happened with Kellar now?”

A heavy sigh leaves me.

Better now than later, right?

“Logan and I had a night together.” My voice trails off as Tony’s face struggles not to wince.

Bluntly he asks, “You had sex?”

“Right. And the next morning when I woke up, he was gone. Then I found my cell phone, and he had left a message indicating that we needed to talk.”

“And you assumed that meant he regretted what had happened between you.”

“Yeah.”

Tony shakes his head and crumbles the foil. “You were out of line, Maxx.”

I’m sorry what? Did you hear him correctly because I don’t think I did. Did he really just say that?
Him
of all people?

“I—”

“Look, don’t get me wrong. Kellar is not by any means my favorite person—”

“Understatement.”

“Even so.” He brushes it off. “You were wrong for running away from him and not letting him explain himself. Every guy deserves a chance to be heard when his heart is on the line.” Tony rubs the stubble on his chin. “Especially when it’s probably never been there before.”

Cue to the violins for music at my funeral because those words just killed me.

“You’re right,” I admit softly.

Arrogantly he agrees, “I know.”

Does he have to be smug?

“And I’m going to go home and admit I was wrong. Hopefully…fixing things that are still there to be fixed.”

“I’m sure it can be fixed, Maxx. After all, how could any guy who’s in love with you just walk away?”

I offer him a smile and then push a strand of hair behind my ear. “What about you? How was your date last night?”

“Warrants a second one. Speaking of, if for some reason things don’t go as planned with Kellar tonight and you need a place to escape, my apartment is open. There’s a key in the slit of the welcome mat on the side of the ‘w’.”

“And what if you wanna bring her home?”

“On the second date? Nah. I wait until at least the third date before inviting her over for a glass of wine,” he explains with a sly smirk. “What can I say? I’m a gentleman.”

Giggling I toss my trash at him. “Third date is a gentleman?”

He winks, and I laugh even more. “It’s good to see you smiling again, Maxx.”

Truth? It feels good to be smiling again. And I know this whole thing with Logan is gonna be a little complicated, and I have to actually tell him I was wrong for assuming and thinking the worst without hearing him out first, but I know we’re gonna make it through. We always do.

Chapter 6

Maxx

Opening the front door of our house, I slide off my flip flops, take a deep breath, and drop my purse.

I know my friends are waiting to chew me out. Hell, I would be waiting to chew me out, but do you think it would be too much to ask to let me shower first? I’ve had on the same outfit for two days now. Oh shit. Do I smell?

One step into the living room and Luke looks up at me from his knitting.

Bad start already.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t hold you down while I let my sister beat the shit out of you?” he asks, his hands slowing down from the frantic rate at which they were just moving.

He looks like the little old lady who lived in the shoe, glasses and all. He rarely wears them, but does every time he knits.

Erin looks up from her stretched out position on the couch where she is studying, clearly ready to pounce like a lion on a gazelle.

Anyone else starting to feel a little unwelcome here?

With a heavy sigh I shrug. “How about because my mother waltzed back into my life yesterday like she’d never left?”

In unison they croak out, “What!”

Sitting on the arm of the couch I nod. “Yeah.”

“Wait! What?” Erin shoots up, now sitting cross-legged like a child at story time. “How’d she find you?”

“What did she want?” Luke asks.

Can you tell he’s the big brother, father figure?

“Apparently, Aunt Caroline has been keeping her informed about me over the last several years.”

“Why?” The perplexed look on Erin’s face deepens.

“I’m not sure I understand it either, but my guess is Aunt Caroline hated the idea of a mother not being able to know anything about her child, even if it was the mother’s fault.”

Erin scoffs, “Yeah, because that mother is a low down dirty bi—”

“What did she want?” Luke repeats hushing the tantrum his sister was about to start.

Clearing my throat, I fold my hands in my lap. “To tell me she got married—”

“We knew that,” Erin mutters.

“And that I have a brother.” The sentence comes off my tongue and leaves my mouth with a bitter taste.

I haven’t quite put it all together yet myself. Am I pissed off because she had another child and hasn’t left him yet the way she did me, or am I pissed off because she showed up out of the blue to drop this bomb on me at the worst time? Or am I still pissed off that she left me to begin with? All of the above? Am I out of line?

“You have a what?” their voices squeak together.

“Really?” I point back and forth. “The twin thing. You know that drives me nuts. You’re not actually twins!”

“Focus!” Luke snaps. “You have a brother?”

“Technically, half brother. His name is Wilfred.”

“Who the fuck names a child Wilfred?” Erin sneers. “That’s like name suicide. Like naming your child Alfred.”

“That’s Batman’s butler.”

“I rest my case,” she says matter-of-factly.

Why do I even bother?

“Did you meet him?” Luke calmly questions, placing his knitting materials down beside him, preparing for the fatherly speech.

It’s clear as day that’s what’s coming by the way he’s leaning forward, elbows on his thighs, glasses a tad bit down on the bridge his nose, and the way his brow is scrunched tight. We call that the Daddy Dearest Look. Mostly Erin gets it when she brings home her one offs. I’ve gotten it on occasion when caught having ice cream for breakfast. Hey, it’s a perk of being an adult!

“No.” I clarify quickly. “I didn’t wanna destroy his childhood the way the wicked wench obliterated mine. As far as he knows he’s got a normal life, with a normal mother, and there’s no need to ruin that. Besides, someone’s gonna tell him Santa’s not real in the next year and that’s gonna be traumatizing enough.”

Luke bites back a chuckle. “You didn’t know Santa wasn’t real before that?”

“You did?” Erin looks hurt.

“Of course I did.” He shakes his head. “I was the one who helped tuck Dad into that fat suit every year, so that you would keep believing in him.”

See. This is what I mean. Those are the kind of parents they had. Those are the kind of parents a child should have. Nothing against Aunt Caroline and Uncle Mike though.

“And someday I will help tuck you into a big red suit, brother dear,” she coos on a giggle.

“You better mean a fat suit because there is not an ounce of fat on me now and there won’t be then either,” he clarifies with a stern finger.

“I’m aware.” The bitter snip is accompanied by the roll of her eyes. “And if you throw away all the non low-fat bread in the house one more time, keeping a low carb count is gonna be the least of your problems.”

“Keep talking, Rachel Ray…”

I cut Erin off before she can respond. “Anyway, I spent the night there because I was too shaken up to drive, and I basically told her to fuck off this morning. Went into work straight from there. Frank has me working on some side event for triple the pay.”

“And your cell phone?” Erin drums her fingernails on the back of the couch. “Is that broken?”

“I turned it off yesterday, and guess I never got back around to turning it on.”

“Look, Maxx, there’s something you really need to know.” Luke begins leaning back in his chair. “Yesterday, Logan—”

Is all that makes it out of his mouth before the sound of the front door opening breaks his conversation. Immediately, the three of us turn in time to see Logan with his arm draped around Liz, who is wearing an animal print mini dress and giggling flirtatiously.

She looks like she skinned a baby leopard. I hope it tried to claw her eyes out before she took its hide.

“Ankles AND hands?” The words are loud as if she’s not aware we are listening. “I don’t think I’ve ever had ‘em BOTH tied…” I watch her finger stroke his chest. “But you can be my first.”

Whatever air that was in the room has been sucked out like a new and improved Hoover, because to say I can no longer breathe would be an over simplification.

Logan glances our way and instantly stops at the edge of the stairs, eyes falling on me. “Maxx…”

Well at least he can remember my fucking name.

“Oh this is bad…” Erin grumbles behind me. “So very, very bad.”

“See you finally made it home.”

Is this
really
how he wants to play right now? He fucking leaves me after lying to get me into bed and then acts like I’m the bad guy? I knew it. I fucking knew it! God, how could I be so dumb! Tony was so wrong. I wasn’t out of line for assuming that Logan lied to me, I was out of line for believing he really had feelings about me in the first place.

“Glad you remember I live here.” The anger in my voice tries to stay low.

“Who could forget
you
live here,” Liz sneers.

Before I can make a comment in her direction, Logan shrugs her off of him. “Go to my room.”

“But, Unbreakable—”

“Now!” his voice bellows and a small tingle courses through my body.

I’m fucking insane. He’s displaying his sex dominance thing on another female and my body has the audacity to get turned on. See what I mean about betraying me? Goddamn sell out.

Liz stomps up the stairs in her cheap knock off heels as I sigh. “It’s lovely to know I’m not the only girl in your life who follows your orders. I was actually starting to feel
special
.”

Logan’s blue eyes flash a glimpse of malice and he grips the railing tighter. “You’re accusing me of treating you like a hit it and quit it, but which one of us spent the day crying on someone else’s shoulder? Speaking of, how did it feel to snuggle in next to Tony’s bony ones last night?”

The right thing to do here would be to clarify how fucking wrong he is, but you and I both know that’s not gonna happen. Just like we both know right now I wanna cry in frustration and bash the hell out of his sorry ass.

“I wouldn’t know.” I stand up. His eyes flicker a brief sign of relief. “But I’ll let you know tomorrow after I find out tonight.”

And with those words I walk past him, yank my purse up, shove on my shoes, and storm out the front door.

He’s never actually seen me with Tony like that before, so what gives him the right to just assume that Tony’s always his biggest fucking competition? Sure. Tony and I went out on a date. But after that Logan just kept assuming that things were happening. Oh shut up. I don’t wanna talk about the problems that come from assuming. Besides, he should know by now, he’s never really had to compete for me. For anything related to me. In my life he’s always come first. It’s ME who has had the sheer joy of waiting for my turn like some desperate groupie fighting to be noticed. Newsflash! I’m done competing. You want him? You can fucking have him.