Nowhere (8 page)
“There’s a quarter, I can almost reach it.”
“Richard, I’ll give you a quarter, but you have to get up. Get off the floor for Pete’s sake you’re getting filthy.”
“I really am almost there.”
Doctor Hays suddenly was above him. Richard I’ll buy whatever you need, now forget the quarter and just get up. You can’t behave like this in here, and you can’t sit in my chair if you get yourself filthy.”
“Ok,” Richard said defeatedly, but his attitude changed as he suddenly realized that he wasn’t limited to just Cheese-its. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”
“No I don’t mind, now what was it that you were looking to get?”
They walked back towards Doctor Hays’ office, Richard carrying a bag of chips, a ballpark pickle,and a double stacked ham and cheese sandwich. Doctor Hays carried with him a vanilla cream soda, and a pack of cherry flavored Double Bubble Gum.
“So what is it that was so important that you barged into my session with another client?”
“I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“What do you mean? Why can’t you just go home?”
“I got fired today for busting up the contents of a package, my boss called the cops and now I can’t go home because there’s a cop car outside my apartment.” Richard said in-between bites of his ham and cheese sandwich.
“I don’t understand. In your line of work, packages are ultimately going to get damaged every so often. I don’t think that’s anything to fire someone over, and it’s certainly not something to call the police over.”
“No, that’s not what happened. I busted the contents of a package, not the package itself. I literally opened the package and then destroyed the contents. It was a radio, just a little radio, I might get arrested over a little twenty dollar radio.”
“Why did you think you needed to do that? You had a good job, why the radio?”
“I thought there was something important inside it, or that there could be something inside it… hidden you know?” Richard looked into Hays’ eyes and could tell that he hadn’t fully answered the Doctor’s question. “It was Steven, he was there.”
“How could I have guessed that Steven would have been a part of this. Listening to him is destroying you Richard.” Hays scratched his head with his pen, he sat back against the couch and crossed his legs. “Richard, did you really think that there might be something in the radio, or did you just do it because Steven…” his lips pinched together. “Steven told you to.”
“I didn’t really think that there would be anything in it, but Steven needed to be sure.”
“Why did you listen even if you knew there wouldn’t be anything in it?”
“I didn’t know for sure, but I knew that the station was the real clue.”
“The station?”
“Yea, the dial of the radio was set to 101 or something close to that. That has to be the clue. It was the intel that they were trying to get to us.”
“They who Richard?”
“I’m not quite sure who they are exactly. They are others, like us who can see the aliens for who they are. I mean I know I can’t see them all the time as aliens, but I do see them sometimes. Steven is the one that can see them all the time, and I guess ultimately that’s why I listen to him. I trust him you know?”
“I’ve told you not to listen to him, Richard. I mean look where it’s getting you. You can’t hide out here all the time and you certainly don’t want to be in trouble with the police. Ultimately you have to realize that the whole bit about aliens taking over the world is false and you can’t listen to the cockamamy ideas of someone who preaches that.”
“So basically you think I’m crazy for listening to him, and I’m sure because of that you don’t actually believe a word I’m saying about… Them. It’s not just what Steven tells me anymore, its what I’ve seen too.”
“Richard…” Hays shook his head. “because I’m a psychiatrist, I know that the term crazy is never really helpful to use. It certainly doesn’t describe the situation with any degree of accuracy, nor does it make you feel like any progress is being made or can be made. ‘Crazy’ makes it sound like we here at the Clinic aren’t doing our jobs. It also makes it sound like the situation is unresolvable, and that’s just not the case.”
Richard peered deeply into Hays’ eyes to see if he could see any hint of falseness, but the man peered directly back with a look entirely genuine.
“With your help Richard, I want to get to the root of this troubling situation. I want to find out where Steven is so that we can get him under control. After all, he’s the real threat, he sounds like he’s the real loose cannon. You, you’ve just gotten caught up in the middle of all of this.”
Richard nodded. Doctor Hays pulled out a note pad and scribbled something down on it.
“Here,” He said as he tore the the top page off and handed it to Richard. “I want you to go to the pharmacy and pick this up. I’ll call it in as soon as we’re done here, so it should be ready for you as soon as you get there. It’ll help take the edge off a little and maybe give you some clarity about what to do next.”
Richard took the slip of paper and folded it into his pocket. He gave Hays an unsteady look.
“Don’t worry,” The Doctor said. “Let’s treat this as a refreshing point. This is a time that we can look back at and remember that everything changes from here. No matter what consequences we may face going forward, the decisions you make now are going to be healthy ones.”
“And Steven… what about him?”
“You said he was going to lay low, maybe you won’t see him for awhile. I think this medication should allow you to forget about everything with him a bit and maybe you’ll feel more comfortable in the day to day. The next time you see him, I want you to ask yourself, ‘What is best for Richard?’ and I think you’ll have the strength to make the right decision.”
Richard nodded
“Thanks…” He said and then he walked out.
“Well?” Hays insisted.
“Well, what?”
“Well, are you going to say anything?”
“Don’t you understand, this is beyond you now.” Richard sat in a folding chair in the middle of Hays’ darkened office. His shirt was covered in blood and he had a bandage on his jaw.
“No, no it’s not beyond help.” Hays said. “At least I don’t think so, unless you killed someone or are plotting to kill the president, then I think you are still well within my realm of profession. You just have to open up to me and let me know the truth. I need the truth now Richard. I think I deserve that much.”
“It’s like you’re saying that what I’ve been giving you is something besides the truth? What kind of psychiatrist are you. You’re not supposed to do that. I really don’t have to tell you anything.”
“You are in a lot of trouble now Richard. I don’t think you fully understand what type of session this is. It’s not a Tuesday, it’s not a Friday. It’s not 3 o’clock in the in the afternoon. I got a call from the sheriffs department at 1 in the morning telling me that one of my patients had been arrested and was in a state of hysteria. Now, I hate to say this, but I knew exactly who they were talking about when they called. I know I’ve been your counselor for awhile now Richard, but I have the strong belief that there is something important that you’re not telling me.”
“Can I go now? I don’t feel like talking about this. I know that what I say won’t be what happened. It never is… they’ve changed it.”
“God, Richard, where? Where do you imagine yourself going? I mean really, you don’t see that you’ve got only two options here? You either sit here with me and we talk and I write and we make some actual progress so that I can go to the sheriff’s office tomorrow and say ‘no really its ok he’s better now, please ask the store not to press charges’, or you keep this all to yourself and you get a court appointed psychiatrist and sit in a cell for a few months because they think you’re a danger to society.”
“But I didn’t do anything wrong!” Richard protested, but he was sure that the look in his eye told the Doctor that he really didn’t know for sure what had happened. The last he could remember clearly, he was walking into Doctor Hays’ office after his out burst at the warehouse. If anything, he expected to be in trouble for that. This thing about the Pharmacy was escaping his memory entirely. “Do you think they’ll press charges?”
“What do you think? Do you remember what happened to you at 11:53 pm last night, at the pharmacy down on Washington and Main?”
“Geez, you sound so precise.”
“I have my reasons.”
“You want me to tell you what I remember?”
“I think you didn’t have to ask that to know my answer.”
“Can I start where we left off yesterday?”
“You know you can.”
“Yesterday was Thursday, right?”
“Right.”
“I remember leaving your office around 2pm. You let me hang out for a bit and then I said I felt that it was ok to leave. During that time we talked about the recent episode I had and you said you thought it may be the prescription that contributed to the missing time. Then I left from your office and hitched a bus back to work. The place looked deserted enough at that point that I was able to pick up my car and head to the pharmacy. I drove straight to the pharmacy because I wanted to get home before it got dark.”
He hesitated, thinking heavily to himself. When he looked up his eyes were glassed.
“Go on Richard, its ok. I want you to tell me.”
“I sat in my car for awhile looking at the bottle that was in my console. I was trying to decide whether to take my last sleeping pill before I went in to pick up the new prescription you gave me, or if I should wait till after. It was still a little before five and I didn’t want to take it too early, you know? But then if the clerk at the pharmacy was too slow checking me out it might be too late. It was really hanging me up, you know?”
“Because you thought you might have the dream?”
“Because the people, the things in the dream are appearing to me in my daily life now. They're everywhere Doc. I’ve told you that.” Richard was shaking a little. His mind was so frazzled, so tired, so weak… He could hardly think straight enough to form whole sentences. “I’m way beyond having dreams now Doc. I’m beginning to think that Steven is right.”
“Ten minutes or so shouldn’t make a difference Richard. I’ve told you that. Even up to an hour before or after shouldn’t make any difference at all.”
“It does make a difference. I’ve told you that!”
“Ok, I’m sorry. What did you decide about the pill?”
“I didn’t, I kinda dazed off, I was thinking about waiting there for a few minutes, or driving the block a few times. I should have driven the block. Instead I started staring at the foam coffee mug in my cup holder. I hadn’t seen it before.”
“What was special about the cup that drew your attention?”
“Nothing really, it was just an old coffee cup, the disposable kind like you’d get from a convenient store at a gas station. I haven’t been drinking coffee since you told me to stop, which is why I was so curious toward it. Had I gotten it? Had someone else driven my car without me knowing? Why was it there?”
“I don’t know Richard, why was it there? Is there a chance that it’s been there all this time. You know, since before you quit drinking coffee.”
“No, no it was somewhat fresh.”
“How do you know?”
“I drank it.”
“But you just said that you don’t drink coffee anymore.”
“I know, I know I’ll explain, I’ll get to that.” Richard put his hands up in defense. “Anyway, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something important about that mug, something that needed to be resolved and was more pressing than picking up my prescription.
“Was Steven there? Was he telling you to investigate the mug?”
“No, which is strange… I decided myself that it was something that needed to be done.”
Doctor Hays must have been intrigued by that fact, because he scribbled a few notes down on his clip board.
“So you left the pharmacy then?”
“Yes.”
#
He was three blocks from the pharmacy when he passed the large sign on the Chuckee’s Fuel Station. The big black eyes of the kind hearted tiger stared down at him as he passed. He came to a halt at a red light and looked down at the wreckage that was in his car. Paper was everywhere, trash, and the cup that once again caught his attention. He looked in his rearview mirror, the tiger still leering at him, and then he U-turned into the gas station.
Walking in, he set the cup on the counter in front of the store clerk. “Do you sell this?”
“Coffee, well yea, we sell coffee? It’s in the back.” The store clerk couldn’t have been older than nineteen. Long wavy blonde hair poked out of his orange trucker hat with the Chuckee’s logo on it. His Red orange collared t-shirt completed the standard Chuckee’s uniform. “It’s discounted when you bring in your own mug. Technically you’re supposed to have a Chuckee’s Javaholic mug to get the discount, but if you want to fill up in that you can.”
Richard went to the back and looked for a match, but they had none. He walked back up to the front, the clerk appeared ready to check him out. “Have you recently switched brands?”
“No we have one supplier.”
“Do you recognize this brand? Do you know what chain of stores sells this kind of coffee?”
“No, man there are prolly fifteen different chains within two hundred miles of here. Prolly a hundred different stores. Why, are you a cop?”
“Uh…Yea I’m a cop, …now tell me the truth about your coffee or I’ll take you down… downtown… to the station.”
“You’re not a cop.”
“Yes I am… I’m investigating a disappearance, I need to know where this mug came from.”
“You don’t look like any cop I ever saw. Get the heck outta my store you crackhead. I’ll chase you out with my bat if you don’t listen!”
Richard walked out.
He hopped in his car and drove another five miles to a Dixon Food & Fuel that sat on the edge of town just as Tenth Street converted to the Rural Route 5. He gave the clerk there a pretty good scare, but could tell that the guy didn’t recognize the mug. His car was getting low on gas. He pulled his car up to a pump, but the clerk wouldn’t turn it on for him so he had to drive to another store, this time pumping his gas before going in to question the clerk. No luck. It was useless.
He drove back to the pharmacy to get his prescription.
#
“So that’s when you arrived back at the pharmacy?” Doctor Hays interrupted.
“Yes, but I didn’t go in right at first.”
“I know, but why?”
“I don’t know, I was still just looking at this cup, this strange cup that I’d never seen before. I’d never heard of the brand or the store. And then the next thing I know, I popped out of it like I always do and it was nine fifteen. I panicked, I didn’t know what to do, so I threw the pill in my mouth and downed it with a swig of coffee from the cup. It was cold and disgustingly sweet, like gas station coffee usually is, but it didn’t taste old. It wasn’t old.”
“Then what did you do?”
“I ran into the pharmacy.”
“So after that you drove straight to the pharmacy after leaving here, you arrived at about four forty in the afternoon then left in search of the supplier of the coffee mug in your car, and after a bit you came back to the pharmacy and fell asleep in your car until about nine fifteen, then you went into the pharmacy?”
“Yea, that sounds about right, why?”
“We’ll talk about that in a second. First I want to know about what happened in the pharmacy. This is very important Richard, I want to know everything that you remember. Every detail. Do you think you can do that?”
Richard frowned. “I can.”
“Go ahead, whenever you’re ready.”
“I walked straight in. They have those doors that chime when you come in. You know the kind. I walked back to the actual pharmacy part of the store, but it was closed. The metal screen was pulled down and the lights were off inside. I could just make out the shelves with medicine. I walked back up front to the little woman behind the counter and asked her to open the pharmacy. I told her I was there to pick up my prescription…”
