Now and Forever 4, The Renovated Heart (3 page)

“Writing is a good escape. You create your
own world…go there any time.”

“Never thought of that.”

“A walk by the woods always helps me. See
any deer?”

Jim noticed how the sun played off Sarah’s
hair, bringing out sparks of red among the almost black strands. He
watched the graceful way she moved, seeming to glide rather than
walk over the bumpy pathway, her hips swaying provocatively. Her
small hands were the hands of a woman who worked, strong, capable
hands, but delicate at the same time.

Her breasts bounced a little, drawing his
gaze. Her sundress revealed enough tantalizing cleavage before the
blue bodice tapered down to her slender waist for him to see they
were the perfect size, not too small, not too big. She folded her
arms across her chest, making Jim color at being caught
peeking.

* * * *

Several hours later, Sarah set the table for
dinner on the back porch of the little house she was renting. After
her husband, Bob, died in a car crash, she moved her family from
Seattle because she needed the emotional support her sister
offered. Even though she’d been planning to get a divorce, his
death turned her world upside down.

With just enough room for the three of them,
Sarah liked the cozy house, especially the lovely backyard and
porch. On warm days, she often moved her computer out there to
write.

Laura sprawled in a lounge chair, texting
her new girlfriends from camp while Scottie practiced soccer moves
in the yard. He whacked the soccer ball over the low fence between
their yard and Jim Caterson’s. Fortunately the ball cleared Jim’s
flower bed, but unfortunately, it knocked over a flower pot waiting
to be planted, spilling dirt on Jim’s patio.

“Scottie!” Sarah yelled, dropping a Corel
plate with a clatter on the table.

“Sorry, Mom.”

“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to Mr.
Caterson,” Sarah instructed.

“Sorry, Mr. Caterson,” Scottie called
through cupped hands to Jim.

Jim picked up the ball and ambled over to
the fence.

“No problem, Scottie. You can call me Jim,”
he said, tossing the ball to the boy. Sarah felt his gaze switch
from Scottie to her.

She wore a blue and white flowered sun dress
with a low-cut neckline showing off her figure.

She looked up, and smiled, noticing how tall
Jim was as he stood by the fence.
He’s at least six feet.
His gorgeous, light brown eyes peered keenly at her, creating heat
in her under his scrutiny. Sarah noticed his slim build, light
brown hair, and shoulders as wide as the day is long. As an
attraction to Jim grew inside her, Sara forced herself to look
away. She had no energy to deal with a man now. Laura and Scottie
took front row in her life. Men could wait, even Jim. Still she
returned his warm smile.

“Scottie, why don’t you help Jim clean up
the mess,” Sarah suggested while folding paper napkins to place
next to each plate.

“Not necessary. Just a little spilled dirt.”
He righted the pot and scooped up some dirt with his hands.

Sarah threw hamburgers and hot dogs for the
children on the grill. She spied Jim cleaning up the dirt. A twinge
of guilt gnawed at her. They had been living next door to Jim for a
month already. Night after night, she cooked on the grill, feeding
the children on the back porch. Jim stayed out of sight when they
were eating, he didn’t hang around, hinting for an invitation. But
she knew he ate alone most nights. Sometimes she’d see him through
her living room window, eating on a tray in front of the television
by himself. Though shyness kept her from making the first move, it
didn’t seem neighborly not to invite him over to eat with them.
It’s the least I can do after Scottie knocked over his pot.
She took a deep breath and walked over to the fence.

“Hi,” she said, putting her hands in the
pockets of her jeans, then taking them out again.

“Hi. Don’t worry about this, no harm done.”
He waved his hand over the pot of spilled dirt. “He’s got quite a
strong foot there. Looks like he could be a good soccer
player.”

“He was…he is. I’ve signed him up to play in
the Kiwanis league in September.”

“He’d make a good midfielder.”

“Seems the least we could do is invite you
to join us for dinner. Just burgers and dogs on the grill, I’m
afraid.”

His gaze raked over her body, bringing color
to her cheeks.

“You don’t have to.”

“I know…I’d like to. Won’t you join us?”
Sarah stared directly into Jim’s eyes. The look on his face stirred
up a heat in her belly.

“Great! I hate eating alone.”

“Good. Come on over.” Sarah motioned with
her hand.

“How about some tomatoes from my
garden?”

“I love home-grown tomatoes.”

Sarah flashed a sweet smile at him. She
picked up a plate of raw meat and walked over to the grill. He
yanked five tomatoes off the vines then hopped over the low
fence.

“Cool…Jim,” Scottie said, bouncing the
soccer ball.

“Can I help with the grilling?” He moved
over to the grill and stood so close they were almost touching.

“No, thanks. I’ve got it,” she said,
stopping a second to catch her breath. “Laura, would you bring out
the drinks, please?”

“Mom! Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a
conversation?”

“I’ll go,” Jim volunteered.

“Its Laura’s responsibility…right Laura?”
Sarah said, staring at her daughter.

“Okay, okay.” Laura righted herself in the
chair, pushing slowly to her feet. Her gaze remained glued to her
phone’s screen while she sauntered into the house.

“What have I forgotten? Oh, ketchup,
mustard...”

“Can I at least bring those out?” Jim asked,
moving toward the back door.

“Thanks. Laura will show you where they
are.” Sarah threw two more hotdogs on the grill.

She was efficient, making a mental checklist
of everything for dinner while flipping the burgers then putting
the buns on to heat.

“Dinner, everyone!” Sarah tucked the last
hot dog into a bun, nestling it in with the others on the platter.
The children took their usual seats. Jim held out a chair for
Sarah, who glanced at him for a second like he had three heads.
Such a long time since anyone has held a chair for me.
She
placed the platter on the table then sat down.

Everyone passed around the mustard and
ketchup along with a plate of Jim’s tomatoes that he had sliced and
layered beautifully. A bowl of baby carrots and celery sticks
completed the meal.

“What happened at camp today?” she
asked.

“Nothing,” Laura said. She piled ketchup on
her hamburger then closed the bun.

“We did soccer and swimming. I’m going for
my minnow badge on Friday.” Scottie took a big bite out of his
hotdog.

“But you don’t know how to swim!” Sarah
remarked.

“I do…sort of. I need more practice.”
Scottie stopped talking to take a drink of his milk.

“Where do you swim?” Jim asked.

“At the town pool.” Scottie dug a few
carrots out of the bowl.

“I’d be happy to take you there one
afternoon this week to practice,” Jim volunteered.

“You don’t have to,” Sarah said. She stacked
two slices of tomato on her hamburger before closing the bun.

“I’d like to.”

“Can I, Mom? I want to get the badge.”
Scottie’s eyes widened.

“We could all go,” Sarah said.

“Not me! I don’t want my friends to see me
hanging out with Scottie,” Laura said.

“You can’t stay home alone, Laura. You’re
too young. So if we all go, then you go too.”

“Mom! I’m not going!” Laura flashed defiant
eyes at her mother.

“Why don’t you stay here with Laura. Let me
take Scott,” Jim suggested.

“Can I, Mom? Please?” Scottie begged,
putting his palms together.

“Okay, okay. I can see I’m outvoted.” Sarah
took a bite out of her burger.

“How about tomorrow?” Jim added ketchup to
his burger.

The boy nodded. He bit off a good sized
piece of hot dog.

“Tomorrow is good,” she said. “Thank you,
Jim.”

She smiled shyly at him. Sarah wasn’t used
to getting help from others. Ever since her parents died when she
had turned nineteen, she’d been shouldering a heavy load, starting
with being a parent to her sister, Callie, who was sixteen at the
time.

Responsibility didn’t stop when she married
Bob right after college graduation. They had Laura soon after their
marriage. Sarah became a full-time mother. People thought strong,
capable Sarah never needed help. Never had, never would…they were
wrong.

Jim insisted on helping her with the dishes
while the children watched TV. She went to the cabinet to put the
salt and pepper shakers away as Jim headed to the refrigerator.
They collided. She bounced against his hard chest, emitting a small
gasp. His right hand grabbed her wrist to keep her from falling
while his left arm circled around her waist, pulling her closer,
right up against him. Her hand lay flat against his chest while she
looked up into his brown eyes, the color of buckskin. He shifted
his gaze to her pink lips before he lowered his head to kiss her.
When Sarah didn’t pull away, he lingered in the gentle kiss.

It had been a long time since a man had
kissed Sarah.
Heaven
. His lips were soft, curious, and
gently stroking hers, coaxing her. Sarah and Bob had been estranged
for a year before he died. Even before then there had been no
affection between them for a long time, only an atmosphere charged
with fear and hostility.

An affectionate woman, Sarah hugged and
kissed her children often. As her relationship with Bob
disintegrated, she missed sharing affection with him, but he had
become too dangerous for her to get close to.

Sarah pulled back a little allowing him to
lower his lips to her neck. He tightened his hold on her a little
while he continued to kiss her. Need tugged at her body as well as
her heart, Sarah bent her head back, making her neck more
accessible. She enjoyed the feel of his touch, which sent a little
shiver down her spine. Abruptly she remembered the children were in
the other room.

She broke from him, as heat colored her
neck.

“The children,” she whispered.

“They’re busy,” he whispered back.

Sarah looked away, embarrassed. Jim grinned
at her, his eyes glistening with desire his smile almost smug.
Regardless of how embarrassed she thought she should be, she
admitted to herself her body had responded to him. His expression
told her he knew, too. He pushed a lock of hair back from her face,
his fingertips lightly brushing her forehead.

He traced her jaw with his finger before he
moved away. Sarah couldn’t take her eyes from his. He had
hypnotized her. Hunger surfaced. A hunger that had been buried deep
in her soul, created by crushing loneliness, threatened to
overwhelm her, to defeat her every day.

She saw need mixed with desire in his eyes,
sensing by the way he touched her, he wanted to make love to her.
Though she wanted him, too, she was afraid. Sarah needed to be sure
it wasn’t just sexual attraction, but something deeper. She wanted
to touch his heart—wanted him to hold her, tell her everything
would be all right, to reassure her such a tight grip on her life,
her kids, or her heart, wasn’t necessary. But she was scared.

He stepped away from her, retreating to the
front door.

“Hey, Scottie. I’m going to pick you up at
four-thirty tomorrow, right?”

The boy nodded.

“Thanks for dinner. The next dinner is on
me. Can I take you out Saturday?”

“Sure, if I can get a babysitter,” Sarah
said, fumbling with the ties to the apron she wore, casting her
gaze to the floor.
An unexpected invitation.

“Great. I’ll pick you up at seven,” he said,
leaning over to give Sarah a kiss on the cheek.

She nodded, smiled and closed the door
behind him.

The Willow Falls Motel

At six o’clock, Kit stepped out of the
motel, dressed in a new ruffled, white cotton blouse with a low-cut
neckline, a new turquoise cotton skirt, sporting new high-heeled
sandals. She looked around. Nothing looked familiar; she was a
stranger in town.

With no job to anchor herself, to make her
confident, like she fit somewhere, Kit felt she didn’t belong
anywhere. All her hard work to build a good life in New York had
been erased, leaving only an empty slate, scaring her to the marrow
of her bones.

She had always been a devoted wife and
mother, enjoying the role, putting Johnny and Zoe before herself.
Kit had tried to talk Johnny into having another child but he
refused. Now with no one to care for, to cook for, or plan for…no
one to miss her, she was lost.

Kit shivered, not due to a cold breeze, it
was August, but because gut-wrenching loneliness gripped her,
chilling her blood. Like a flower seed taken far and wide by the
wind, she had no idea where she’d land or what kind of life she’d
lead. The silence hanging in the air deafened her. Kit had no place
to go, no one to turn to, except her friend, Sarah. Hunger gripped
her belly.
Is this the street? Let’s see.
She turned right,
noticing the sign for Bon Appetit, the only familiar restaurant. A
smile lit up her face.
I’m not totally helpless.

* * * *

Don Rosen, the co-owner of Bon Appetit with
his wife, Sunny, was tending bar when Kit arrived.

“Good evening. Looking for a table?” he
asked.

“Yes.”

“How many?”

“Just one,” she said, cringing inside,
unable to look him in the eye.

“We have a big group here tonight, so we’re
packed. How about sitting at the bar? We serve dinner here, too. I
can seat you right away,” he said, motioning to one of two empty
chairs. She nodded at him, sat down and pulled out a small pad and
pen.
Time to make a what-to-do-with-my-life list.