Now and Forever (19 page)

Pain sliced through her. The images of Sheila were so sharp. She stifled a cry. Hurt was ripping her apart again.
So strong.
Unexpected, as Sheila’s appearance had been earlier. The woman’s beautiful face taunted her. Her voice echoed in Grace’s mind, telling Tanner he had a daughter. A cute and innocent child who was oblivious to the scene, which had left her rattled to the bone. In that instant, her faith in Tanner’s love for her had been shaken. Her emotions had been stirred. Still, she had acted like a
wuss
by running away, instead of sticking around to get the full story.

“
Wanna
talk about it?” Ava asked softly.

Not really
. Those were the words her mouth wanted say. Deep down, Grace knew certain matters were meant to be shared with a good and loyal girlfriend. That’s why God put them on earth. It was one thing to be without a man, but if she didn’t have a friend like Ava in her life, she would’ve been in the nuthouse by now. She faced her friend. Leaning back against the couch, she allowed the story to fly from her lips like a bird being freed from a cage.

Ava’s brows furrowed. “You jumped to conclusions and left.”

“I didn’t jump to anything,” she countered. “I put two and two together. Who do you think Tanner would’ve gone home with: me or his baby and her mother?”

Ava fell silent for a minute, pondering. She said, “Are you sure the baby is Tanner’s? I’ve never met Sheila, but something’s fishy about this situation and I don’t think she can be trusted.”

“Who would lie about a baby?”

“A woman who cheated on her fiancée.”

Grace nodded. When she was a private investigator, she been able find skeletons in many people’s closets. Nothing should surprise her. She’d heard and seen it all. “How do you think Tanner would feel if he wasn’t the father?”

Ava looked agitated. “I don’t know. Why don’t you answer his calls and ask him for yourself?”

Her tone of voice rubbed Grace the wrong way. Was Ava trying to make her feel guilty?
Silly?
She nibbled her bottom lip. Hadn’t she beaten herself up enough? She’d called herself names that would shame a nun. Adequate punishment had been doled out in her opinion. At least her mother would agree. After all, she’d made it her personal mission to keep Grace’s self-esteem below sea level for numerous years. Right now, her best friend tried to paint her as the bad guy.
Definitely, a first.
The surprises kept coming.

“I think you are making a big mistake,” Ava said. “Don’t give up on Tanner so easily. He’s a keeper. I can’t remember the last time a man put a smile on your face. When you were with him, you seemed so alive, so free and…happy. Not to mention, sparks flew all over the place.”

Grace wanted to shut out Ava’s words. They brought back memories she needed to forget, like Tanner’s buttery smooth skin.
His strong jaw.
Those sexy eyes of his, which made her heart race at a crazy rate. What good would it do to think about how her body quivered with the slightest touch of his hand?

None.

Granted, some people enjoyed torturing themselves.
To each his own,
she thought. She had better things to do with her time. Such as, wonder what could’ve been.

“Grace?”

Ava’s voice floated over her. Tears clouded her vision. She’d actually had the nerve to believe there could’ve been something more between Tanner and her. In her mind, she’d built their future together. Hadn’t Kevin taught her romance and love wasn’t written in her life’s script? That lesson had been forgotten once she met Tanner because she fancied her luck had changed.

She should’ve known better.

Sorrow latched onto her soul. Disappointment trampled her spirit. The truth was that she had wasted her time chasing rainbows. Amazing how a few earth-shaking kisses from a drop-dead gorgeous man could cause a sane woman to lose touch with reality. The sweet nothings he’d whispered in her ears had left her mesmerized. She’d fed off of every syllable, satisfying the hunger in her heart, which hadn’t been nourished in so long.
Neither had her physical needs.
Embarrassment consumed her. Her behavior had been…foolish. She had taken desperation to a new level. Since Tanner was out of her life for good, she had a chance to get back on the right track. She didn’t intend to veer off of it ever again.

Easing off the couch, she grabbed
Pretty Woman
and popped it into the DVD player. She wanted to have a good, long cry at someone else’s expense. Julia Roberts always delivered.

Ava took Grace’s action to be a sign she no longer wanted to discuss her relationship with Tanner.
Or lack thereof.
Instead of forcing the issue, she pulled the throw blanket from the back of the couch and spread it over their legs. They had tomorrow to debate everything Grace could’ve done differently, as far as Tanner was concerned. She placed a box of Kleenex between her and her best friend. They would shed many tears before the movie ended. And like their favorite movie, she knew Grace and Tanner’s story would finish on a high note.

Chapter 10

Not ready to confront the brilliant sunlight spilling through the living room window, Grace’s eyes opened slowly. She mashed a fist into them, wiping away sleep. It had been a long night. Ava and she had stayed up way past midnight. Shedding tears over the movie, drinking more wine than necessary, and gossiping had been their primary forms of entertainment. They had fallen asleep on opposite ends of the scruffy couch.

An inconsolable ache crept into her body and clawed at her heart. She missed Tanner. A profound longing ate at her senses. She had come this close to fulfilling her dreams of waking up in Tanner’s arms as the sun rose in the sky and morning dew settled on the leaves after a vigorous night of love making, until Sheila interrupted everything. Instead of her shabby couch, she should have been basking in the afterglow of their long awaited union. Mulling over what could have been was pure torture. Her empty arms and throbbing center felt even worse.

She sighed with anguish. Perhaps she should have ignored the messages Tanner had left on her cell phone. When Ava had fallen asleep, she tiptoed to her bedroom, intending to place it on the charger. Against her better judgment, she succumbed to her desire have his voice caress her ears with its silky smooth timbre like a kid in a candy store, catering to her sweet tooth with a lemon drop. Listening to his messages, she hadn’t been disappointed. His words were feathers that floated softly through her. Lightly, they’d soothed the sore spot in her heart, which longed to connect with him and feed off his love. He said it wasn’t over between them. He wanted her, needed her and loved her deeply. Couldn’t be true, she’d thought. How would she fit into his new life, which seemed overflowing with miracles—big and small? He was fooling himself. The same thing she’d been doing since the first night he claimed her lips in front of The Pigeonhole. One of them had to make the first move in closing the door on a hopeless situation. She recalled Tanner telling her they couldn’t let Sheila or Kevin win. Obviously, he hadn’t known Sheila fought dirty. She won. End of story. Grace decided to pack memories of Tanner and their cherished moments away in her mind’s treasure chest, revisiting those special times whenever she chose to without anyone’s knowledge.

She looked around the room and grimaced. An empty bottle of wine and wine glasses were strewn about the floor, as well as pillows and blankets and shoes. She peered at the end tables carefully. A fine layer of dust covered them. Tiny pieces of paper and other stuff were scattered around her carpet like bits of confetti. In the kitchen, she remembered the dishes piled in the sink. Her untidy living condition was unacceptable.
And somewhat disturbing.
When had she begun to live in a pigsty? Cleaning was definitely at the top of her to-do list. She just hoped Ava was ready to lend a hand.

She sat up on the couch and stretched. The enticing aroma of freshly brewed coffee drifted through her nose. She perked up. That’s more like it. Inhaling deeply, she also caught a whiff of Southern goodness: biscuits, grits and eggs. Bless Ava for whipping up breakfast. Her stomach growled like it angry. Shoving her feet into the dingy slippers, she maneuvered around the pile of mess and shuffled into the kitchen.

“Smells good,” she started to say before she tripped over her words and her own two feet when she saw her mother in her kitchen, taking freshly baked biscuits out the oven. This was a crazy dream and she needed to wake up fast. Deidre Frye, the bane of her existence, had entered her home while she slept.
Impossible.
Lightning should have ripped through the sky, signaling her presence. Grace relied upon months of preparation to deal with her mother, who she could only take in small doses. She hadn’t seen the unbearable woman in almost two years. Two years she wouldn’t give up for anything, except for Tanner’s kiss. First Sheila had popped up out the clear blue and now her mother. Oh, the private hell called her life.

“About time you got up,” Deidre said. “It’s almost eleven o’clock.” She wore a loud orange jumpsuit that was bedazzled to death and a matching cap. What a sight to behold. The glare from her outfit stung Grace’s eyes.

Hello to you, too.

Deidre leaned her cheek forward expectantly. Grace swallowed the bile building in her throat and pecked her mother’s cheek dutifully. She tucked her trembling hands into her robe’s pockets. “Mama, what are you doing here?”

“Excuse me?” Deidre said, snapping her eyebrows together in disapproval. “You’re
my
daughter. That’s all the reason I need. However, it just so happens that my new guy and I were on our way to the casino. Since we were passing through, he wanted to visit some of his family members. So I decided to see about you.”

“Oh.”

She put a plate of eggs and grits on Grace’s small kitchen table and motioned with her hand for her to sit. Wordlessly, Grace obeyed. While she was in the process of taking a seat, her mother caught a glimpse of her backside. “Your butt has gotten bigger.”

Grace cringed. Quickly, she plopped into the chair. To keep from tossing her mother head first into the street, she reminded herself how children were supposed to honor their parents even when they grated your nerves like cheese. That big butt comment cost Deidre a Mother’s Day card.
Possibly, a call.
Although, her mother probably wouldn’t miss either, it sure would make Grace feel good to stick it to The Man. Or, in this case, an old battle ax.

Woefully, her eyes flitted around the kitchen and through the door into the living room. She needed a comrade to deal with her mother. “Where’s Ava?”

Pouring a cup of coffee, Deidre said, “Gone to pick up a few things for me from the store.” She set a piping cup of the morning brew in front of Grace’s plate. “She said she’d return shortly.”

Yeah, right
. Her friend probably ran for safety when she answered the door and found Deidre standing on the other side. Grace made a mental note to wring Ava’s neck. Didn’t she know friends don’t leave friends alone with fire-breathing dragon ladies?

Her mother wrinkled her nose. “If this the way you normally keep your house, I can understand why Kevin left you.”

Grace nearly choked on her eggs. She patted her chest. Was the woman trying to kill her? Her mother threw insensitive remarks at her like hand grenades. Without warning, they landed in her ears and blew her spirits to bits and pieces. After all these years, Grace hadn’t devised a way to deflect that weapon of mass destruction. However, she wasn’t about to allow her mother get away with insinuating her marriage failed over something as trivial as dirty dishes. “Kevin cheated on me. Remember?”

Of course she remembered. And Grace thought her mother had gotten pleasure from telling her that she couldn’t keep a man to save her life. Insulting her one and only child seemed to make Deidre’s day. Well, enough was enough. Grace didn’t intend to take her abuse anymore. She straightened her back and poked her chest out, which was inflated with air. Her mother would learn she was a grown woman who no longer wanted to be the welcome mat she walked all over. Grace opened her mouth to lay down the law.

Nothing came out.

“Honey, close your mouth,” Deidre said. She looked at Grace critically. “And what’s up with your hair? Your best friend does hair for a living and your head resembles a bird’s nest.”

Ouch.

Grace’s chest deflated. She shriveled in her shabby robe and sweatpants. The woman was relentless. She hurled insults so fast Grace couldn’t dodge them. They always hit their mark, which was usually her pride, spirit, or esteem. She touched her hair self-consciously. Obviously, her mood matched her appearance—crappy.

“You look like a bag lady,” Deidre said, curling her burgundy-colored lips distastefully. “How do you expect to get a man?”