November Rain (5 page)

Chapter Nine

The officiant leading the wedding was female, and she read passages that brought tears to Elias's eyes. Guests stood to share poems or songs. Through it all, Joe held Elias's hand, his thumb stroking over Elias's knuckles.

The ceremony ended with the grooms kissing—in front of everyone, even their parents. Elias kept looking back and forth to the families, checking for some sign of outrage or disgust. All he saw were happy faces.

Music played, and the grooms walked hand in hand down the aisle. Joe leaned in to Elias's ear. “Let's go. I'm fucking starving.” The roughness in Joe's voice said that he'd been more affected by the ceremony than he tried to appear.

Elias smiled. “Sure.” He stepped into the aisle ahead of Joe, appreciating how the wedding attendants hung back to allow Joe room to maneuver on his crutches.

In the reception area, vases overflowed with lilies, and the pedestals were wrapped in green and white ribbon. Walls in tones of emerald and moss blended beautifully against the gray sky outside.

Joe went to the washroom, leaving Elias alone to marvel at the view. Waiters so handsome they must have been handpicked carried trays of champagne, and from every corner came the sound of laughter.

Most days, Elias thought Nordstrom was the pinnacle of the American dream, but not today. This event—this wedding—was everything. Freedom and prosperity and even love and friendship all wrapped up together, and Elias couldn't have been happier that Joe had invited him to come.

Elias overheard a thread of conversation in Amharic, rougher and yet more melodic than the English around him. He glanced to where some men were half-hidden by a banquet table and unloading bottles of water.

Neither of the men noticed Elias standing there, and Elias looked away before they saw him staring, but Elias was curious to hear their reaction to the event.

“Why did you agree to work, then?”

“You know how Helen is—can't say anything about homos in front of her or you'd get fired.”

The other man nodded. “I know. Can you believe this?”

The first man curled his lip. “Disgusting.”

A cold sweat spread under Elias's clothes, and his heart raced with the same fear he'd had as a child when he knew his father had found out Elias had done something wrong.

Scanning the room, Elias searched for Joe. He wove through the masses of smiling men, pretending he didn't feel kicked in the stomach. It wasn't until Elias was at the edge of the room that he caught his breath and fought back his panic.

Joe didn't see Elias anywhere, but he spotted Dan behind a buffet table with a member of the banquet staff.

“That'll be great, thanks,” Dan said to the girl, sounding like he was dismissing her. “Just as long as people aren't distracted by the desserts.”

The girl nodded and then scurried away, leaving Dan standing at the edge of the party.

“Hey.” Joe stepped forward. “I know it's gonna get busy once everyone sits down. So if I miss you later, congrats.” Here, with old friends around them, it was hard to still be pissed off at Dan for their breakup.

“You're not leaving, are you? Though I understand if you have to. I'm so sorry about what happened with your leg.” Maybe it was the emotion swirling around from the ceremony, but Dan seemed genuinely sympathetic.

Joe almost wished Dan wasn't wearing such a kind smile. It reminded him of times when things had been good.

“Nah, I'm okay.” Joe'd loaded up on ibuprofen and stronger drugs that morning. “I'm not up for any dancing, though.” He gave a chuckle. The good thing about prescription-strength painkillers was that they made him not give a shit about the things he couldn't do. “So long as Elias doesn't wear me out too bad…” He was bragging but didn't care.

The awestruck way Elias looked at Joe made things so easy. Joe didn't have to worry about what to do or what to say. Elias expected Joe to take the lead, and that was cool. At thirty-six, Joe knew how to top just fine. The emotional part…well, that Joe could fall into like a featherbed.

“Yeah. I was going to ask you about him.” Dan's gaze darted around the room.

“Pretty cute, huh?” After the way Dan had kicked Joe out, he deserved to gloat.

“I guess.” Dan frowned, his expression pissy enough to be petulant. “But he seems to have moved in pretty fast.”

“You may not have noticed for a while, but I'm a decent-looking guy.”

“I'm just wondering what you really know about him.”

“I met the kid a week ago. What do you expect me to know about him? He's nice. I didn't ask for a resume.”

“He was there when I came over the other day.”

“So were you. Maybe you're the one who's moving in.” A waiter came by with a tray of champagne, and Joe grabbed a flute.

“Jeez.” Dan took a glass for himself, drinking it with a hand on his hip. “You don't have to be so defensive. I'm just telling you to be careful. You hardly know the guy. Where did you meet?”

Tired of standing entirely on crutches, Joe leaned against a nearby table. “Elias was at Nordstrom when I got shot.”

“Fair enough.” Dan eyeballed him, assessing. “So how old is he?”

“Old enough.” Joe hadn't thought to ask, mostly because he didn't want to know the answer. “Want me to text you when I find out?”

“No need.” The angle of Dan's chin said he thought he'd scored a point. “And where does he live?”

“The Central District.” At least Joe knew that much.

“Well, what's his story? Who are his friends? What religion is he?”

Joe gleaned Dan's meaning in a lightning flash of annoyance. Dan was suspicious because of Elias's ethnicity. “Who cares about his religion?”

“Calm down. I didn't mean it that way.” Dan itched his nose. He better never play poker, since he couldn't lie for shit.

“You meant it exactly that way, Dan. I know how your mom is—watching those conspiracy-theory programs all the time—but not all brown people are connected to some militant group.”

Dan pressed his lips together. Maybe he was ashamed of bringing it up, but Joe couldn't feel sorry for him. Dan didn't know Elias, had never had a conversation with him. How in the hell could he form any kind of opinion?

“All I'm saying is, you just met this guy. Maybe between the shooting and everything else, you feel like you have to rush—”

“What religion am I, Dan?” Joe wasn't going to let this go until Dan saw what he was doing.

“Atheist.” Dan sucked his head back like he'd seen something disturbing. “Right?”

“I was raised Episcopalian, and I'm sure I've told you that. But in the ten years we were together, I can't remember you caring one way or another what church my parents went to.” Joe had to catch his breath because it was coming out in huffs of righteous rage. He wanted to get in his car and drive. Find Elias and protect him from assholes like Dan who'd think bad things about him based on how he looked.

“Okay, fine.” Dan glanced past Joe's shoulder, trying to get out of the conversation. “But this whole thing is suspicious.”

“No, Dan.” Joe buried his annoyance in another swallow of champagne. “
You
are being suspicious. And you have absolutely no reason to be.” He turned to leave. “Anyway, congrats on your wedding. Hope things go better for you this time around.”

Joe hobbled away. He shouldn't have come to this stupid wedding. Worse, he shouldn't have dragged Elias to a place where people might judge him without knowing the first thing about him.

Across the room, he spotted Elias. Handsome as he was in his designer duds, Elias seemed about as comfortable as a giraffe on roller skates.

Good thing, because Joe didn't feel much better. “Hey.” Joe caught up to him. “How you holding up?”

“I'm okay.” Elias seemed to have lost his smile since the ceremony.

“My leg is bothering me more than I thought it would.” Joe threw the comment out in an offhand manner. He didn't want to make Elias leave if he wanted to stay for the party.

Elias smiled, his cheeks lifting along with his chest. “I'm sorry to hear that.” He didn't look sorry at all. “Would you like to go home?”

“Yeah.” Joe breathed out a sigh of relief. Fuck these assholes. And even fuck himself for caring what Dan thought. “Let's go.”

Chapter Ten

“Do you live with your folks still?” Yeah, real smooth. Joe was glad he had a mouthful of takeout to hide his wince. Now that Dan had planted insecurities in Joe's head, he felt like every question he asked sounded like an interrogation.

“No.” Elias pulled a leg up under himself, settling more deeply on Joe's couch.

Windows lined Joe's apartment, showing a night that was dark and drizzling…the usual. But with beer and Thai food and a handsome man on his couch, Joe didn't mind that it was pitch black so early. He just wished he could erase Dan's prejudices from his mind.

“That's nice.” Every word Joe said, his mind flashed
Racist!
He felt like he didn't even know himself, much less Elias. “So, um…does your family live around here?”

Elias tensed, and when he swallowed, it seemed like he had a hard time choking down his food. “My brother and his wife do.” His words were so careful that Joe felt like an idiot for prying. Only he didn't know if he was prying or whether these were normal questions. “My parents lived here until I was in college,” Elias continued. “But they had to go back to Africa to take care of my grandmother.”

“I'm from Issaquah.” Joe covered his awkwardness. “But my folks moved to Las Vegas a few years ago when my dad retired.” For some reason, Elias looked stricken, so Joe tried to be funny. “I guess retirement and the desert go together, huh?”

Fucking A.
Joe sounded like the world's biggest asshole, especially since he had no knowledge whatsoever about Ethiopia's climate. “I mean, I guess I'm assuming it's a desert where your parents are. I don't really—”

“They would never understand.” Elias's hands were unsteady as he set his food on the coffee table.

“What do you mean?”

“About this.” Elias's words were a whisper. “About me.” He blinked, and it was only then Joe realized Elias's eyes were glassy. “They can't know. They'd…” He shook his head, eyes closing. “I'd be dead to them.”

“Fuck, honey.” Joe grabbed Elias's hand and pulled it into his lap. Joe had known guys whose families were religious or conservative or just plain ignorant and who didn't accept their son being gay, but he had no way to understand Elias's situation. Gay rights in Africa were something Joe only knew about via online petitions sent by well-meaning friends.

“Do you talk to them a lot?” Joe rubbed Elias's palm gently.

“No.” Elias chewed the edge of his lip, his shoulders dropping slightly as Joe found a spot that must have eased Elias's stress. “They're busy with my middle brother's new baby. He moved back with them and married someone from their town, so they're content with that for now.” He paused only enough to take a breath, then rattled on. “I live with my oldest brother, but his wife doesn't like it here.” He darted Joe a quick look, like Joe had asked a question that needed an answer. “The marriage was arranged. It cost her family and mine a lot of money, but she can't stand the United States.”

“Oh.” Joe felt like he had to say something, though he had no idea what it should be. He'd been thrown off balance by the idea of an arranged marriage. “That's not good.”

“No.” Elias shook his head. “She's so unhappy in the winter. As soon as she gets pregnant, I think she'll move back home to her mother.”

Joe nodded, hoping he sounded empathetic when in truth he was completely lost. “I suppose that's for the best.”

“I'm not sure what I'd do without them in my life.” Elias eased closer so his leg was lined up with Joe's, touching at the knee. “I should stop thinking about it.”

“You want to stay over again?” Joe stroked Elias's knuckles, then the pressure points on the inside of his wrist. “Or do you need to go home?”

“No. I said I was staying out.” Elias darted a look at Joe's beer. “Can I have one of those?”

“Sure thing.” Joe went to the kitchen and grabbed another bottle. For some reason, Joe had assumed Elias didn't drink. Joe didn't know whether it was polite to ask about it, especially since Elias was clearly torn about his family. “You sure you want this?” he asked as he handed over the bottle.

“Yeah. Why?” Elias took hold of the bottle and drank a long swallow.

“Oh.” Joe dropped onto the couch and pulled a blanket over their laps. Fuck it, he should just say what he was thinking. He didn't want to go through this awkwardness every time they shared a beer. “I thought maybe it was against your religion.”

Elias shook his head, his face wincing on a swallow. “No. Drinking isn't prohibited in the Ethiopian Orthodox church. You're thinking Islam.”

Joe settled more fully on the couch, trying his best to let go of the weird tension he wished he didn't feel.

“Alcohol is not really part of our culture, though. A lot of people don't drink.” Elias gave him a frown over the top of his beer bottle. “But I grew up here.”

“Yeah.” Joe nodded, understanding the seriousness of Elias's words. In so many ways, Elias was exactly what he seemed—a young, cute gay man happily living in Seattle. But there were other things holding him back, issues twinks at the clubs probably didn't have to deal with. “I'll try to remember that.”

Elias downed a large part of his bottle. No matter what he claimed about being part of American culture, Joe couldn't shake the sense that Elias was trying to drown his anger.

“I want this.” Elias's face grew harder until he looked like he'd aged several years. “I want it, I just wish it didn't cost so much.”

“Yeah. I understand.” Joe didn't. Not really. He remembered some article he'd seen in an online newspaper about a GLBT activist lynched in…was it Cameroon? Africa was a big place, and social norms must vary between and within countries. But one thing was for certain—while gays in America fought for marriage equality and the right to go to prom together, in other countries they risked imprisonment or worse.

“You done eating?” Joe glanced at their plates. He was in no position to be waiting on Elias, but it felt like Joe's turn to clean up.

“Yes.” There was something in Elias's eyes. A hunger that was somehow sharper than it had been the other day. He moved closer to Joe, slowly, like he was going to kiss him.

“It's not wrong, is it?” Elias asked it with their lips inches apart.

“No.” Joe wrapped a hand around the back of Elias's neck, holding fast. “It's not wrong.”

“Tell me again.” Elias pressed his forehead to Joe's, the pressure firmer than how Elias normally touched and showing the depth of his pain.

Joe closed his eyes, and it was like Elias's strain was flowing out of him and into Joe. He could handle it, though, maybe even take some of the weight. He had parents who'd always supported him and friends who could give a shit who he fucked, his own place to live and a psyche strengthened by all the years he had on Elias. Years where he'd learned things were seldom as bleak or impossible as they seemed in one's youth. “It's not wrong, honey. You're not wrong either for wanting this.”

Elias sealed their mouths together like he had something to prove, but he deserved to get his nut on, to scrape Joe with his teeth. Joe deserved to get manhandled because he'd been stupid enough to let Dan's dumbass remarks follow him home.

“Mmmfffhh.” Elias crawled over, his body held up so as not to hurt Joe's thigh. With Elias kneeling across him, kissing proved impossible. Elias was too tall.

“Let's take this to the bed.” Joe grabbed Elias's thighs, urging him up. In a scrabble of crutches and getting the light turned off, they made it across the apartment. Joe was in no position to manage undressing while lying down, so he worked his shirt off standing. He smiled to notice Elias hurrying to do the same.

“You gonna keep them on again?” Joe nodded at Elias's briefs. They were a color between blue and purple, and Joe imagined Elias had gotten them for their night together.

“I…” Elias thumbed his waistband, but Joe could tell from the tension in his shoulders he didn't want to fully strip.

“You should wear 'em.” Joe reached for Elias's hand, pulling it away from his briefs and tugging Elias to where Joe could kiss him. “They're cute.”

Elias half-sighed and half-whimpered as he moved into a kiss. He gained urgency, his hands going to Joe's belly.

“C'mon.” Joe positioned a couple pillows against his headrest and got on the bed. “Climb on, honey.”

“Okay.” Elias came, getting gingerly on top while Joe hitched his legs on either side to create a cradle.

Joe couldn't tell if Elias was hovering because he was scared of hurting Joe or whether Elias was hesitant for their groins to touch, but Joe was having none of it. He grabbed Elias's ass and held him tight so those cute little briefs rubbed and scraped Joe's hard-on and Elias filled the space between Joe's legs.

“I don't want to hurt you.” Elias's hips ached. Drums pounded in his head, and Joe's thick weight was so hot Elias wanted it against his skin and on his lips and even in darker places he wasn't yet ready to consider.

“You won't.” Joe kissed Elias's neck and shoulder. They were pressed too tightly to touch mouths, and Elias was glad because he wouldn't have been able to breathe.

Joe was everywhere, all around him, holding Elias tight, one hand around his waist and the other on his rear end. In all the vague ways Elias had imagined being with another man, he had never pictured this, but it was perfect.

“You come when you want to, hon. Don't worry about me, okay?”

“Okay.” Elias was done holding back, finding his pleasure with his heart filled with dread and his mind filled with shame. Joe was beautiful and strong and laid out under him, murmuring in Elias's ear. Joe's heart thundered against Elias's, a quick tempo urging Elias faster.

Getting some leverage with his knees, Elias rubbed into the hot space between them. Joe's hand slipped into Elias's underwear, and suddenly Elias didn't want to hide anymore.

Frantically, Elias pushed his underwear out of the way. His dick pressed long and perfectly against Joe's, and his behind was naked to Joe's hand.

“Mmmmmh.” Joe's deep rumble moved the bed. Maybe it even moved the earth, and Joe's fingers sank into Elias's furrow to tease his hole.

The sensation was perfect, and Elias bucked in a way that must be hurting Joe. It must be, but Elias couldn't stop.

He mouthed Joe's shoulder, licking his way over stubble and masculine heat to Joe's jaw. He found Joe's mouth and tasted the smoothness of Joe's tongue.

Eyes clamped, Elias tried to hold on to that moment right before… “Oh God,” he broke away to gasp. His hips took on a mind of their own, pumping so hard Elias gritted his teeth. Joe's finger forced its way inside, a rude invasion and yet the ultimate foil to the aggression running through Elias's body. Joe wanted this roughness, wanted to get rougher still. And Elias wanted more than he'd ever thought he could handle.

“Ah, ah, ah…” The edge of pain tipped Elias over, made his muscles clamp tight. His whole body tensed, sensation everywhere, more complete because Joe held him through it, working and grinding while Elias shook helplessly in his arms.

Lights danced behind Elias's eyes. Maybe for the first time in his life, he felt safe with the feeling. Joe had him, was holding him. Joe told him it was okay, and that made it so.

Joe's cock nodded against Elias's belly in hard insistence. As tired as he was, Elias smiled. Joe needed him too.

Slithering lower, Elias kissed his way down Joe's body. The bitter taste of Elias's seed mixed with their sweat and the softness of Joe's chest hair. Elias got his underwear from where it had been and used it to clean up.

“What are you gonna do to me, hotshot?” Joe shoved another pillow under his head.

The calm power in Joe's expression made Elias wonder if he'd go fully soft before getting hard again. Joe waited like a king—hand relaxed on his belly and cock erect between his legs. Elias would happily spend all night at his feet.

“This…” Elias covered Joe's cap with his lips. The girth stretched Elias's jaw, especially when he tried to take Joe deeper.

“Fuck, that feels so good.”

Elias assumed that was flattery. He'd seen this done online, knew what it was supposed to look like when a man got it right. What he was doing was a pale imitation, but Elias kept to what he imagined felt good, licking up the bottom of Joe's cock, laving Joe's balls and catching the occasional taste of spent come. The flavor served to make Elias more excited. Soon he was pumping his hips into Joe's sheets. Good thing Elias had washed the others the night before. He'd need to change them again tonight.

“Yeah, hon. Love that.” Joe spread his legs wider. “Get that tongue down there.”

Elias had been keeping to the roundness of Joe's sac, but Joe's directions were obvious enough. Elias remembered the feel of Joe's fingers toying behind his balls and even farther back, and the needy, aching sensations that caused. Though Elias had always thought touching that part of a man was disrespectful in the extreme, he wanted to give Joe as much pleasure as possible.

“Here. I'll do that.” Joe took control of his cock, leaving Elias free to focus lower.

The taste of Joe grew stronger as Elias moved farther down. Joe was saltier there, rougher. He tilted his hips so his puckered flesh was under Elias's tongue.

“Fuck, yeah. Get in there.” Joe led Elias with a hand on the back of his scalp.

He lapped up the length of Joe, loving how he got his hand out of the way to allow Elias access to his thick crown. It was wet with Joe's juices, sweet and savory.

“Good, honey. Fuck, just like that.” Joe worked his base, so Elias only had enough for a mouthful, which was perfect because Elias could lick and suck and taste and even tongue the opening without having to worry about taking Joe deeper.