Nova (58 page)

Lieutenant Commander Adeline noted that every last trace of
weariness had utterly disappeared from Avara’s eyes and voice as she spoke. It
seemed that a volcano would be hard–pressed to rival the intensity she exuded. And
every single Officer replied in the affirmative to her declaration, pride and
purpose blaring forth as they saluted their superior and friend.

 After Captain Serros’s avowal, there wasn’t much left to
say.

Basic schedule and orders were laid out for the next forty–five
or so days of travel before they reached the Quorum capital. In between, a stop
was planned roughly at the journey’s midpoint for refueling and restocking at
the Human planet of Cipher.

The crew would use the travel time well, drawing up
proposals for both the imminent threat of war and drafting a few new surprises
and augmentations for the ship and for her crew. A well–deserved, extended
shore leave was planned once they reached Sigil, as well as a full inspection, repair,
and retrofit detail of
Excalibur
.

A brief preliminary discussion was held in regards to merited
promotions and commendations, and then, stifling her fourth yawn, Avara finally
called an end to the impromptu meeting and reunion, citing the desire for a
much need shower and rack–time. The gathering ended with an unusually emotional
display irrespective of rank in the form of hugs and hearty handshakes, and
then the group disbanded.

By unspoken agreement, Diana escorted Avara from Deck 2 to
her quarters on Deck 3. The journey’s normally short duration seemed interminable
as every few feet they were stopped by one crew member or another expressing
their relief and pleasure at the Captain’s safe return. Expressions that,
despite her obvious fatigue, Avara unfailingly returned with a like sentiment
and a personal comment or query.

Seemingly years later, the cabin doors
hushed
closed
and the two were at last, blessedly alone.

Restraints of duty and decorum relinquished, Diana
immediately grabbed Avara’s too spare form, holding fast and as closely as possible.
When Avara’s strong arms wrapped around Adeline and returned the fervency of
her embrace, it was if a dam had been shattered by an earthquake, allowing
carefully checked emotion to flood forth.  Heart–shattering fear and life–giving
relief vied for supremacy as Diana’s tears flowed.

“Shh, it’s okay Diana, everything is going to be okay.”

“Oh, Avara. I thought I had lost you in the explosion, on
that damn planet.” Diana sobbed, finally choking out the words that had held her
captive for these last dark weeks.

“It’s all going to be alright, Diana.” Serros soothed,
holding her tighter and gently kissing her temple then brow, an offer of
comfort and affection that nearly undid Diana all over again.

Smiling slightly and moving her eyes to Avara’s face, consuming
the features of the woman she loved with her entire self, Diana whispered
Avara’s name once more like the sharing of a benediction, and then pressed her
mouth to Serros’s.

The kiss was deep, and as her mouth moved with Avara’s, the
fleeting thought that she could never kiss Avara sufficiently to be satisfied
raced in her mind. That close could never be close enough, but that she would
spend the rest of her life happily making the attempt.

After some minutes, Avara gently pulled her mouth from
Diana’s, though she didn’t release her tight hold around Adeline’s waist.
Looking at Avara’s face, it was as if a mask had fallen. Now that all immediate
crises had been addressed, Diana could read how worn Avara was. Exhaustion was
literally pouring off of her like rain in a storm, yet enervation was not the
only story to be told.

Diana caught a strange, sweet yet sad ripple in those
magnetic eyes and though she couldn’t capture its exact meaning, the poignant
expression tugged at her very core.

Running her left hand through Avara’s thick, dark locks and placing
a soft kiss on her cheek, Diana remarked, “You look like you’re going to fall
asleep where you’re standing, Officer. It’s off to the showers and then bed
with you, Captain.”

Offering the trademark crooked half–smile that Diana knew
and loved so well, Avara laughed lightly and replied, “Hmm. I’m gone for hardly
any time at all, and you’ve already taken over my ship, I see.”

“Only when it comes to your wellbeing, Captain. Now go on;
to the showers!” Adeline answered with a gentle shove to propel Avara in the
direction of her bathroom.

“Yes, Mam.” Serros answered, issuing a smart–ass salute to
go along with her vocal tone.

While Diana left Avara to the no doubt much craved privacy
of an extended shower after weeks of being stuck on the surface of Dantis,
Diana commed for another meal to be sent up the Captain’s Cabin and then
occupied herself with going over next week’s duty rosters. Truth to tell, she
could hardly concentrate.

Hearing Avara in the next room, unconsciously singing in
that sweet alto that was all her own, sitting in these quarters surrounded by books,
keepsakes, mementoes, and works of rendered art that were all her love’s, focusing
on crew scheduling was the last thing she wanted to be doing right now.

The bell–chime asking for entry came almost as a relief twenty
minutes later, and Diana sprang up to meet it. Bennet Gaius’s smile was a
welcome sight as he came in with a covered hand tray.

“Lieutenant Commander Adeline.” He greeted, warmth in his
light eyes as he nodded his pepper–haired head in greeting. “Some food for our
patient.”

“Excellent, Gaius, thank you.” Diana answered warmly.

“Is that you, Ben?” Avara’s voice called from the bathroom beyond
the living space’s wall and from within her bedroom.

“Yes, Captain. Just making a special delivery.” The
Captain’s Steward answered, lightly wrinkled face split into a smile.

Coming out of her bed chamber wearing loose pants and a
standard issue, royal blue tank, undried hair still dripping, Avara removed the
lid then exclaimed, “Ha! It’s like a holiday. I should go missing more often!”
Her comment was punctuated by enthusiastic inhalation of the wafting aroma of
creamy, sweet–risotto and plump golden raisins still steaming in the large
bowl.

“I think
not
, Captain, or its bread and water for
you.” Gaius answered, his tone and feigned disapproval hiding the very real
worry Diana knew he’d carried with him for the duration of Serros’s absence.

“Tyrant!” Avara accused fondly, gripping his shoulder for a
moment in affection.

“Yes, well, I shall leave you to it.” Just before reaching
the cabin door, Bennet wagged his thick brows and admonished “Now make sure you
get some
rest
, ladies.” Then, with a serene smile on his face, he exited
the Captain’s Cabin before either woman could say anything in response.

As Diana fought her blush, Avara issued a rueful shrug of
her shoulders and then, bowl and spoon in hand, took a seat at her couch and set
to eating the divinely smelling dish. As the Captain consumed her repast and
the two sat next to one another and exchanged very basic observations and small
snippets from the last few weeks, though thrilled to be so close to Avara once
more, Diana couldn’t help but feel like there was a new sense of distance
between them. One that had not existed before the events that fell into play
with the
TS Ardent
.

More, now that Avara had changed, Diana noted with worry
several new scars and bruises that, though she knew with Serros’s PV would fade
in time, such injuries still signified the harrowing ordeal she had survived.
Her heart hurting for what Avara had experienced, Diana consciously pushed the
lingering vestiges of unease she felt at Avara’s uncharacteristic, faint
reserve as she watched Serros’s lids flutter and chin droop for the second time
during the meal.

“All right Avara, time to get you to bed, I should think,
before you fall asleep face first in your porridge.” Diana commented briskly.

Shaking her head to wake up, Avara responded with an embarrassed
smile, “I suppose that wouldn’t be terribly dignified of me, would it?”

“No, not really.” Diana answered, gently pushing Avara
through the living–work space of the cabin to Serros’s bedroom. Tucking the covers
up over and around them both and then holding tight to Avara as she spooned the
Captain’s back, Diana gently trailed several kisses on Avara’s neck and then
whispered, “Sleep, now Avara. It’s time to sleep.”

Avara’s half–murmured response was quickly followed by her
strong, even tempoed breathing as the Shield Operative almost instantly dropped
into deep, bone–weary somnolence. Feeling content for what felt like the first
time in forever, Diana also finally drifted off to be cradled by untroubled dreams.

 * * * * *

Diana Adeline was unsure at first what had roused her, but
when she heard Avara cry out, “No! No,
no
!” she realized that Avara was
caught up in the throes of a nightmare. Seeing the raven dark hair shine from
perspiration as the Captain tossed back and forth, arm on her forehead as if set
to protect, Diana gently touched Avara’s cheek and urged her to wake.

Without warning, the Captain shot straight up to a sitting
position, blue eyes wild and open as if desperate to locate some unseen attacker.

“Avara, it’s okay, love. You’re aboard the
Excalibur
,
all is well.” Diana soothed, unused to see her friend and lover as vulnerable
as she seemed right now. Adeline sat with Serros and gently but firmly began to
rub her left shoulder and neck.

Canting her head around her own bedroom, the sense of panic
and imminent battle drained from Avara’s eyes and energy. “I’m sorry; a bad
dream.”

“So I see.” Diana said, grasping Avara close, continuing to
rub her neck and shoulders. “Anything you want to talk about?

“No, thanks. It’s just… a lot happened on the
Ardent
and on Dantis, Diana.” Avara answered, her tone both haunted and melancholy at
the same time as she rubbed her palms against her face.

Unsure what to say or do to help ease Avara of whatever burden
she was obviously carrying with her, Diana asked “Would you like to go back to
sleep? I’m sure more rest could only do you good.”

Offering an expression that was half grimace, Avara replied
“I’m not sure I can sleep right now; my dreams are a little
too
intense.”

“Well,” Diana remarked, issuing a coy smile before moving
her lips to Avara’s shoulder and neck, “I’m certain I can come up with
something
to occupy your mind and chase away the bad dreams.” Shifting her position so
that though she was still bearing her own weight, she sat straddling Avara’s
hips, her pose placing their faces less than a breath apart. Then Diana kissed
Avara, first with gentle tenderness and then crushing her lips in rising
passion.

Fire raced through Adeline at the contact, craving pooling
from her center like warm honey dripping from a ladle, tempo increasing as she
felt Avara gradually respond. Moaning, Diana wanted,
needed
more, and
that need resulted in an avid questing of lips and tongue, even as she gently
pushed Avara back onto the bed.

With care that did nothing to check the ache she felt,
Diana’s right hand slipped under the thin tank Avara wore and traced a path
towards Avara’s nipple, which hardened almost immediately at her touch. With
her mouth still claiming, Diana moved her fingertips to Avara’s waistband to
search out the answer to her need.

Unexpectedly, Diana felt Avara’s smooth–palmed, yet iron–firm
grip bar her from entry, felt herself gently half–pushed off as Avara
straightened once more to an upright position.

Attempting to claim Avara’s mouth once more only to be
denied, Diana asked, “What is it? Am I hurting you? Are you okay?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just… I’m sorry Diana, I can’t.”

Speared into place by the intensity of those beautiful eyes
and the sadness they conveyed, Diana felt an unexpected disquiet.

“I…” Avara started, then blinked, obviously shaken by
something
,
some emotion she was attempting to come to grips with that was painful for her
to face, to qualify.

This was more than a nightmare, more than the ordeal of
survival. “What do you mean, you can’t, Avara?” Diana asked, the vague feeling
of foreboding now flowering to a tendril of real fear.

“We have to talk, Diana.” Avara answered finally, moving her
hands so that one of Diana’s was captured in each of her own.

Meeting Diana’s gaze fully, her night–blue eyes glowing with
sincerity, undeniably brimming with an affection that Diana could plainly read,
Avara avowed “I love you, Diana, so very much, and
nothing
will ever
change that.”

“But?” Diana whispered, not wanting but
needing
to
hear what her lover was struggling to communicate.

Taking a deep breath and gripping her hands still harder,
Avara quietly answered “Something has changed for me, since Dantis. Or, maybe
changed
isn’t the right word, maybe realization is more accurate.”

Like an actor trapped into delivering pre–scripted lines, Diana
forced herself to ask “Do you mean something changed for you on planet with
Lieutenant Z’arr?”

“Yes.” Serros answered directly, and Diana could see it was
hard for Avara to say that word, not because she was being untruthful, but because
she didn’t want to cause Diana pain. Her motives didn’t matter. Diana felt
blackness threaten to take away sight, felt as if her heart was held between
two chill pylons of a merciless steel vice.

“Are you lovers?” Diana half–choked the question, tears
pooling in her eyes.

“No, we’ve not been deliberately intimate sexually, but
there is… a
bond
between K’llan and I, that is very real.” Avara
answered immediately, though there was something about the words she chose and
how she uttered them that gave Diana pause, meaning obfuscated.