Notorious (24 page)

Now Dev looked utterly shocked, as though she had pulled the rug very thoroughly from under his feet.

“Who was their mother?” he said. He ran a hand through his hair, disordering it, making him look even more bewildered.

“Her name was Flora,” Susanna said. “She was my friend. She died in the poorhouse.”

Dev’s blue eyes searched her face. “You took on the responsibility for another woman’s children,” he repeated softly.

“I lost Maura,” Susanna said. She tried to find the words to explain. For so many years she had kept all these secrets locked inside, harboring the pain deep within her, never exposing it to the light. “I couldn’t keep Maura safe,” she said. “But I swore not to fail Rory and Rose. I had given my promise always to care for them—”

“And you did,” Dev said. There was an odd tone in his voice. “The money…” he said. His voice sharpened as though he were coming awake. “That was why you wanted the money. That was why you were desperate to go through with the charade with Fitz, why you tried to buy my silence—” He grabbed her by the shoulders. She thought he was about to shake her. “Bloody hell, Susanna!” He sounded furious. “Is there anything else you haven’t told me?” His fingers dug into her skin. His eyes blazed. “Do you take a perverse pleasure in trying to make me think the worst of you that I possibly can?”

“No,” Susanna said. “I did not intend…” She got no further because Devlin was kissing her, furiously, blissfully, with exasperation and a blistering hunger. For a moment Susanna’s heart unfurled and she allowed the need to take her, too, the heat sweeping through her veins like a storm of fire.

“I have debts,” she said as his mouth left hers. “That is something I had not told you. And someone else knows who I am and they were trying to blackmail me but I asked Mr. Churchward to deal
with that for me and it does not matter, now that the truth is out—”

Dev made an inarticulate sound in his throat and dragged her back into his arms again, kissing her fiercely. “I thought you an adventuress,” he murmured as his lips left hers, “and now I find you more in need of protection than any infant.”

“I can look after myself,” Susanna said. “And once our marriage is annulled none of this will be your burden anyway.”

Dev’s eyes were a dark smoky-blue. “I’ve changed my mind on that,” he said. “There will be no annulment.”

Susanna’s stomach dropped. “But we agreed!” she said. “You cannot change your mind!”

“I just have done,” Dev said. He smiled at her. “And legally I do not believe there is a great deal you can do about it, sweetheart. You are my wife and you will stay that way.”

Susanna stared at him whilst fury and confusion warred within her. This was so sudden and so unexpected, the opposite of what he had said the night before and the complete reverse of everything she wanted.

“But you can’t change your mind,” she said again, her voice faltering. “Why would you do so?”

“Because I want you,” Dev said. He rubbed his thumb over her lower lip, a sweet erotic caress that she felt all the way down to her toes. “You are my wife and I want you in my bed. And this way,” he
added, “I can make sure that I provide for you—and the twins—properly…that I do my duty. You are all my responsibility now. You need protection and I will provide it.”

The cold settled into Susanna’s heart. Duty. Responsibility. Protection. She could see that Dev wanted to make sure that this time he took care of matters properly in atonement for what had happened in the past, and that was admirable, and more than she would ever have asked of him given that none of it had been his fault. But the longer she spent with Dev the more dangerous it was. She had already tumbled headlong into love with him again in the full knowledge that he would never love her in return. She would fill his bed and satisfy his lust, and then he would leave her and go back to sea. He would walk away and she might never see him again, and she loved him so much that that would destroy her. Susanna felt again the sick tumbling sensation in her stomach she had felt as a five-year-old child when her mother had told her that she was to be given away, sent to her aunt and uncle to live because there were too many mouths to feed. She had lost her family then, the first of many losses. She shuddered to see Maura’s tiny lifeless body in her mind’s eye. Sooner or later she would lose someone she loved again. It was the way of things. She had already lost Devlin once. She could not allow him a place in her life again because he was promised to the Navy again now, he would leave—and he might
never come back. That would destroy her so she had to go now, first, before it was too late.

The chill and the fear of loss seemed to freeze her to the very heart.

“I won’t go with you,” she said stubbornly. “I do not want to be married to you. We were married, it did not work and I prefer to learn from my mistakes.”

Dev looked at her, a smile glinting in his blue eyes now. It did strange things to her equilibrium. “You are still my wife,” he said mildly, “and you will obey me in this if I have to carry you into the carriage.”

“I’ll see you damned first!” Susanna burst out, thoroughly incensed now by his high-handed manner. “How dare you try to assert your marital rights, Devlin?”

Dev gave her a look that brought the hot blood burning into her face. “You had no objection to me asserting some of them previously.”

“That was different!” Susanna said furiously.

Dev shrugged his broad shoulders. “Brute force is not my style,” he murmured. “I prefer charm and persuasion, but if they fail—” he scooped her up into his arms with insulting ease “—then I see I have no choice. Margery will send on your bags,” he added, against her ear, “but you are coming with me.”

D
EV HELD
S
USANNA AS THE
coach took them the short journey to Bedford Street. Once she had accepted that she was to accompany him she had gone very stiff and dignified, her body rigid in his arms. His
grip was negligent now; truth was that he enjoyed holding her—he enjoyed it very much—and he wanted to kiss her and feel the tautness in her melt as she yielded to him. But more than that he wanted to offer her comfort. He wanted to be able to banish the misery he sensed in her. It was a new and somewhat bewildering concept for him. He had always been perfectly clear on what he wanted to take from and give to a woman and solace and reassurance had been in no way a part of it. Now, though, knowing how much it must have cost Susanna to tell him about the terrible loss of their daughter, understanding at last all she had suffered, he wanted to hold her close and never let her go.

Maura. The bitterness of the loss closed Dev’s throat. He could see how the entire tragedy had unfolded from the moment he had heedlessly pressed Susanna to elope with him. Amelia, resentful of him and wanting revenge, Susanna young, fearful of what they had done, wanting only the best for him and his future, thinking she was doing right. Her aunt and uncle casting her out and the fight she had had to survive. Anger shook him and resentment for what had been snatched away from them but he knew that both reactions, whilst natural, were pointless. They would build better this time, he vowed, and nothing would come between them.

He looked at Susanna’s pale set face. He was only starting to understand this complicated, self-contained woman he had been married to for the
past nine years. He knew now how hard she had struggled against almost overwhelming odds, how she had survived a tragedy that had almost broken her, how she had found the love and generosity to take responsibility for two orphaned children because she was all they had. He felt so proud of her. She was brave and strong and he admired her very much. For a brief moment he pressed his lips to her hair and felt her stir in his arms. She met his eyes; an invisible thread that seemed to bind them caught tight and Dev felt his stomach drop and an entirely unfamiliar emotion tug at his senses.

“We are here.” He saw they had drawn up outside Alex Grant’s town house. He cleared his throat, feeling confused, uncertain, as though he stood on the edge of an abyss.

Susanna cast him an unfathomable glance from her green eyes. “Then I would like to walk inside unaided, thank you, Devlin. There is no need to carry me. I shall not run away and I would prefer to greet Lord and Lady Grant standing on my own two feet.”

Dev smothered a smile. “Of course,” he agreed gravely.

He handed her down from the coach and led her into the house, wondering quite how to broach to Alex and Joanna the fact that he and Susanna—together—needed a temporary roof over their heads. Fortunately Joanna made matters very easy for them, for as soon as she had bustled out into the hall to greet them she grabbed Susanna by both hands.

“Lady Carew!” she exclaimed. “Chessie has told me what you did to help her.” She glanced at Dev then back at Susanna, her blue eyes suspiciously bright. “Poor girl,” she said. “I wish she had confided in me but I am so glad that she felt she could turn to you…” A tiny frown marred her forehead. Dev knew she was wondering why on earth Chessie had turned to Susanna but she was too polite to ask.

Susanna, too, had regained her poise. “I hope,” she said, “that the Marquis of Alton has been to pay his addresses?”

“He came an hour ago,” Joanna said, looking even more mystified. “I must confess that he was very gracious. Chessie is so happy. They are to wed next week.” She stopped again. “A pity he is such a scoundrel,” she finished, much more sharply. “Really all I wanted was for Alex to horsewhip him from the house, but I suppose that would not do.”

“It would not get the marriage off on the right foot,” Dev agreed, “tempting as it is.”

“I expect you wished to do worse to him than that,” Joanna said, patting his arm.

“I did,” Dev said. “I wanted to call him out but Susanna stopped me.” He smiled at Susanna and saw her blush a little.

Joanna’s eyebrows had shot up. “Indeed?” she said faintly. “Lady Carew—”

“Actually,” Dev said, “it is Lady Devlin. Susanna is my wife. I apologize for bursting in on you like
this,” he added, “but we had nowhere else to go. Is Alex free? I must speak to him.”

“Devlin,” Susanna said, and Dev felt a very odd possessive thrill to hear her speak in tones of such wifely reproach. “Lady Grant, I do apologize. Men are always so blunt and so very intent on marching straight to their objective with no explanation.”

“Well,” Joanna said cheerfully, slipping her hand through Susanna’s arm, “I am sure we can manage without him.” She turned to Dev. “Alex is in the library, Devlin, but I fear he has Lady Brooke with him. She came looking for you, in fact. I understand that she has lost Lady Emma, whom I thought—” asperity colored her tone briefly “—was your fiancée.” She turned back to Susanna. “Forgive me, Lady…um…Devlin, but is your marriage of recent standing?”

“Nine years,” Dev said. He saw that Susanna was blushing even harder now. He realized that she was nervous and felt a rush of protectiveness. Who would have thought that his brazen adventuress had an ounce of nervousness in her? The thought made him smile. He found he was staring at her like a callow youth transfixed by a beautiful woman and tried to pull himself together.

“Did you say that Lord and Lady Brooke had lost Emma?” he asked.

“Lost to Gretna Green,” Joanna said, trying not to smile, “and to that dangerous man Tom Bradshaw.” She shook her head. “Lady Brooke is not amused.”

“Emma’s eloped?” Dev said incredulously.

“Three days ago,” Joanna confirmed. “But Lord and Lady Brooke have only just noticed.” She shook her head. “They thought she had the headache.”

“Good God,” Dev said. The door of the library burst open at that moment and Lady Brooke appeared, followed closely by an extremely harassed-looking Alex Grant.

“Devlin!” The Countess of Brooke addressed him directly for the first time that Dev could remember, thereby proving that she had known his name all along. “I sent to you at Albany.” Her face crumpled. “The most shocking thing…Emma has eloped with a man who works for a living!”

“Might I suggest that we return to the library to talk?” Alex intervened. “It will be a deal more comfortable than out here in the hall.”

Joanna turned to Susanna. “Lady… Ah—” She saw the pitfall before she fell into it. “Susanna,” she said, “would you care for tea whilst the gentlemen sort this matter out?”

Dev caught Susanna’s hand. “Joanna will look after you,” he said in a low voice. “I will see you shortly.”

Susanna nodded. For a moment her fingers clung to his and he wanted to hold her and reassure her. “Everything will be all right,” he said, and she gave him a tiny smile and a nod.

Lady Brooke was frowning at the exchange. “Emma said that you knew that woman,” she said
disagreeably. She turned to Alex. “Don’t trust her, Lord Grant. She is an adventuress.”

“The library,” Alex said hastily, catching Dev’s thunderous expression. “My commiserations on your broken engagement, Devlin,” he added, his face impassive. “Joanna has told you the news?” He glanced at the Countess. “Apparently Lady Emma and Mr. Bradshaw left for Gretna several days ago but Lord and Lady Brooke have only just noticed her absence.”

“I thought Emma was ill!” the Countess snapped. “Naturally I did not disturb her. Her maid was attending to her needs, or so I thought.”

“It sounds as though Bradshaw was attending to her needs,” Alex murmured, low enough that only Dev could hear him.

Lady Brooke rubbed her forehead, setting her turban askew. “Where could she have met such a person as this Bradshaw?” she demanded. “And why would she want to marry him? He is illegitimate and he has no money and he is even more ineligible than you are.” She looked accusingly at Dev. “I cannot imagine where she has developed this taste for low company.” She snapped open her reticule. “Anyway, there is little more to be said. I cannot pretend to be sorry to lose you as a future son-in-law, Devlin, although the alternative is infinitely worse.” She took a letter from the bag and held it out to Dev. “My butler informed me that you left this for Emma several days ago. I fear she never read it so I am returning it to
you. Good day, Devlin.” She nodded to Alex. “Lord Grant.”