Notorious (6 page)

“I’ll have to have a talk with the good doctor.” She made a face. “There’s such a thing as patient confidentiality. Besides, the man worries too much. I’m fine.”

“Are you?” Sabin’s gaze raked her face. “Is that why you look as delicate as a willow leaf? Is that why you slept for twenty-four hours?”

“That long?” She glanced away from him. “Jet lag.” Her slim fingers clenched the sheet nervously. “And a few other shocks to my system.”

“I had a few shocks too.” He paused. “For instance, your virginity. What the hell—”

“I’d rather not talk about that right now,” she interrupted quickly. “I think I’m hungry.”

His gaze narrowed on her face. “We’re going
to talk soon, Mallory.” He stood up and moved toward the door. “But right now you do need food more than I need answers. I’ll send Nilar in with a tray.” He paused at the door to look back at her, and for the first time a smile that held no bitterness softened his harsh features. “I’m glad as hell you’ve come back to me. Don’t you ever do that again.”

Then, before she could reply, he was gone.

The room appeared to lose color and vitality, yet Mallory welcomed that loss. She had to think, and she couldn’t do it with him sitting there looking at her. Now the tension gripping her eased a little. In her weakened state she was better off without any confrontations with Sabin Wyatt. His effect on her was as unsettling now as it had been in the library when—

She blocked the thought, but it was too late to halt the tingle of heat and anger at the memory of what Sabin had done to her. She could accept the anger as her right, but she mustn’t remember her response.

So what was the next move? Did she go to Sabin and rant and rave as he obviously expected?
She didn’t have the strength to set off the fireworks she would like to light under him, and she had never found anger as successful as reason when confronting anyone of intelligence. No, it was better to submerge the anger and maintain control of the situation.

Control? Her lips twisted as she lay back down on the pillows. She hadn’t done too well at maintaining control since she had walked in the front door at Kandrahan. Okay, face it, she told herself. She had made a mistake, but it was no great tragedy. What had happened had been a combination of cause and effect that would never occur again. Shock, exhaustion, pills, the liquor, and Sabin’s sexual charisma at full power.

But she was fully herself now and should be able to handle both Sabin and the situation.

M
ALLORY FINISHED THE
meal Nilar brought her, slept, ate once more, and went back to sleep. It was three o’clock in the afternoon when she awoke again and, for the first time in weeks, she felt fully rested, even energetic.

Two hours later she had showered, shampooed and dried her hair, put on a trim dark blue dress, and set out to find Sabin. She found him sitting at the big mahogany desk in the library carefully studying a document on the paper-strewn blotter. He looked up when she opened the door, and she could feel the sudden tension that gripped him.

“Well, hello.” He smiled crookedly as his gaze went to the businesslike dress. “Is that supposed to deter all my lustful tendencies?”

She carefully avoided glancing at the huge television screen dominating the far wall as she closed the door and came toward him. “I like this dress.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. It’s just the kind of thing my personnel offices recommend for our secretaries. Definitely no nonsense.” He leaned back in his chair, his gaze appraising. “You look better.”

“I am better.” She braced herself. “And I’d like to leave now, please.”

He stiffened. “Really? You’ve hardly paid your debt with a one-night stand.” He paused. “Though I suppose you might consider giving me your virgin—”

“Oh, for God’s sake, you’re not going to start all that again?” she asked, exasperated. “Virginity in this day and time is only an inconvenience not a pearl without price.” She met his gaze directly. “Look, what happened last night was a mistake. If I didn’t believe that, I’d be even angrier than I am now. You behaved like an oversexed Neanderthal, and part of me wants to pick up that marble paperweight and brain you with it.”

“And the other part of you?”

His smile was blatantly sensual, as sensual as when he had smiled at her last night when he had moved—She quickly looked away from him and down at the marble paperweight. “You’re reputed to be an intelligent man. You must have realized by now that the situation wasn’t what you thought it was.”

“Unless Ben enjoyed you in, shall we say, more ‘exotic’ ways, I’d say that was abundantly clear.” His gaze searched her face. “You didn’t know I had the tapes, did you?”

The color rose to her face. “No, and I’d like them back. I burned the originals after Ben’s death.”

“Mine are copies?”

She nodded. “Look, do we have to talk about this? It’s very hard for me.”

A faint smile tugged at his lips. “It’s been very hard for me too. I think I deserve an explanation.”

She caught the double entendre, and a flood of heat surged through her. She avoided his gaze as she dropped down onto the visitor’s chair beside the desk. “All right, let’s get it over with. What do you want to know?”

“Shall we start with the tapes?”

She looked down at her hands folded on her lap. “Ben was impotent.”

Sabin’s eyes widened. “The hell he was. And you married him?”

“I didn’t know. We didn’t … He swept me off my feet. We were married a week after we met.” She shook her head ruefully. “It wasn’t at all like me. I’m usually very practical and cautious. I suppose he caught me at just the right time. I’d been working like a demon to get somewhere careerwise since I was sixteen, and suddenly Ben appeared. He was good-looking, brimming with
joie de vivre
and little boy charm. He opened new doors for me.” She smiled sadly. “I fell in love with him.”

A distinct edge sharpened Sabin’s voice. “I have no desire to hear how irresistible you found him.”

“Anyway, Ben was impotent. I wanted to make our marriage work, so I arranged for both of us to go to a therapy clinic.” She looked straight ahead. “They said his problem was mental not physical and suggested I do whatever was necessary to—Ben said making and watching the tapes would help.”

“I can imagine.” Sabin’s tone was dry. “They’d arouse a eunuch. What about the ermine coat and the jewelry?”

“Ben said he rented them. I only wore them for the films. I don’t know what he did with them afterward.” She lifted her gaze to meet his. “The films didn’t work. I didn’t find out until a few weeks before he died why he didn’t find me desirable.”

“He was an idiot?”

“Ben was gay. His lover came to see me and asked me to release Ben from our marriage.”

Sabin hid his shock.

“Did you tell the police about him?”

She shook her head. “I felt sorry for him. He was a sweet, gentle man, and I think he really loved Ben. He could never have hurt anyone. Why should I involve him?”

“Some people might say it would have helped to take off some of the flack you were getting.” He studied her troubled expression for a moment. “You don’t understand that viewpoint. Interesting.”

“I could handle the flack.” She shrugged. “You
grow up fast and tough when you’re on your own.”

“Tough?” He shook his head. “No way.”

“I suppose you have a right to think I don’t have much backbone based on the way I caved in when—”

“I didn’t say I didn’t think you had courage. I just said you’re about as tough as a day-old kitten.” A smile suddenly lit his face. “And I’m happy as a clam about it.”

She looked at him startled. “Why?”

“Because I
am
tough and that gives me one hell of an advantage.” He stood up and came around the desk toward her.

She instinctively stiffened and leaned back.

He stopped and shook his head. “I’m not stupid enough to approach you now. I made a mistake, and I know I have to make that up to you. Besides, the mark of a good businessman is to analyze the ebb and flow of the marketplace and adjust accordingly.” He reached out one finger and touched her cheek. “And I’m a very good businessman, Mallory.”

She could feel her cheek burn beneath the pad of his finger.

She had a sudden vivid picture of herself lying naked on that leather chaise lounge across the room with Sabin looming over her, all muscular power and primitive need.

His smile faded. “Now I wonder what you’re thinking about? Perhaps we’re having less ebb and more flow after all.”

“No.” She swallowed and stood up. “I … don’t know how my voice came to be on the end of that tape. I didn’t say those words.”

“Professionals can splice tapes so that the flow between words is seamless. The breaks become indistinguishable. Ben probably thought that was a stroke of genius.” He shrugged. “He wasn’t far wrong.”

“When can I leave here?”

“Are we back to that?”

“Yes.” She moistened her lips with her tongue. “I’ve been thinking about this feeling you had for me, and I’ve decided it was composed of both annoyance because you thought I’d cheated you and a desire for the unattainable. Now that you know
I had nothing to do with Ben bilking you out of that money, one of those reasons should be nullified.” She paused. “And you’ve already had me so I’m no longer unattainable.”

“So that should take care of the whole kit and caboodle?” Sabin lifted his brow. “Are you always this analytical?”

She nodded. “It makes life simpler if you try to understand why people act and react the way they do.”

“I see.” He leaned back against the desk and crossed his arms over his chest. “And I’m supposed to react to your clarification of my unreasonable attitude by letting you go?”

“I hope you will.”

He shook his head. “How can I do that, when you just blew it?”

She looked at him in bewilderment.

“You’re trying to run away.” His eyes twinkled. “That automatically makes you unattainable again.”

Her bewilderment turned to surprise. “You’re different today.”

“I don’t go around all the time brooding like
Heathcliff and kidnapping nubile young maidens to ravish.”

“Only half the time?”

“Scarcely a quarter.” He leered melodramatically. “I conserve all my energy so that when I do, I can give it my full attention.”

She found herself laughing. “You’re joking, right? You realize how foolish this all is?”

“All obsessions are sublimely foolish,” he agreed. “That’s why they have to be taken seriously.” He straightened away from the desk. “Dinner should be ready by now. Would you like a drink first?”

She shook her head. “I’m still taking the pills.”

He frowned. “I don’t like prescription drugs. They’re like guerrillas who sneak up and slice your throat before you even know they’re a threat.”

“Dr. Blairen said I needed them for a while longer.”

“Maybe. We’ll talk about it later. Are you hungry?”

“Not really. It seems I’ve done nothing but eat and sleep for the last two days.”

“You needed it.” His hand cupped her elbow as he propelled her toward the door. “You could use at least another ten pounds.”

“I’ll photograph better at this weight. Everything has an up side.”

“Does it?” He opened the door. “You sound like Pollyanna.”

She chuckled. “What’s wrong with that? Lord, how I hate gloomy, cynical people who won’t admit there are still beautiful things in the world.” Her smile faded as she looked at him earnestly. “It’s going to be all right, isn’t it? You’re going to be sensible about this?”

“It’s going to be fine.” He urged her forward into the corridor. “And we’ll discuss your departure after dinner.”

She smiled, relieved. “I knew you’d be reasonable once the misunderstanding was straightened out.”

“Oh, yes, I’m known for being very pragmatic and sensible. I’m not at all like Ben.” His lips twisted. “No one in their wildest dreams could call me either charming or irresistible.”

“It depends on how the term is used. I have an
idea you could definitely be called an irresistible force.”

“But you’re hardly an immovable object.” His keen gaze raked her face. “You obviously have a heart made of mush and can be imposed on by all and sundry.”

“Not true.”

“No? You allowed Ben to manipulate you shamelessly. You let his lover, who would have been a prime murder suspect, slip out of the spotlight scot-free. You’re even making excuses for me.” He glanced away from her. “My Lord, and you still say you’re tough?”

“You don’t have to be aggressive to be strong,” she said quietly. “Resilience and endurance are just as important in the long run.”

“If you take aggressive action you eliminate the need to endure.”

“We’re not going to agree on this.”

“So you refuse to argue?”

“Why should I? Our viewpoints are obviously light years apart. I’d wager we’re not compatible on very many subjects.”

“Perhaps.” He opened the door to the left of
the corridor to reveal a formal dining room. “But sometimes incompatibility on minor points doesn’t mean a damn thing if you’re compatible on the big ones.”

Sabin crouching naked between her thighs, his face glazed with pleasure
.

The picture flashed through Mallory’s mind bringing with it the now familiar breathlessness. She gazed at him warily. “For instance?”

“World hunger. Should we get rid of the nukes? Do we go to the stars or only try to improve life here on earth?” He smiled innocently as he held her chair for her. “Did you think I meant anything else?”

“No.” She sat down and took her napkin from the table. “I only wondered.”

Sabin sat down across from her. “Well, should we do it?”

“Do what?”

“Go to the stars.” He motioned to the white-clad servant hovering nearby to begin serving before he turned back to her. “What’s your view on the appropriations for NASA?”