Nothing Left To Want (39 page)

The party she was arranging was going to be memorable, fabulous, over the top and beautiful, all the things she was. Milan had asked Christy and me to co-hostess with her. We were even going to dress alike, all three of us wearing black lace Missoni dresses with matching lace Valentino shoes. I had been looking forward to sharing that night with my oldest and bestest friend for months and there was Karmen staring at me and ready to rumble because she wanted me to turn Milan’s night of triumph into our ‘coming out’ party, literally.

I decided to choose Milan’s comfort, and my own, over Karmen’s agenda and I said no. She didn’t take it well. She screamed at me and told me we were “fucking done”. She deliberately poured her drink onto my beautiful couch, ruining the silk, and left in a huff. I watched her continuing her tantrum outside through my bedroom windows. I had immediately retreated there to cuddle with Petal following Karmen’s exit.

She was acting like an asshole screeching her car in circles around my driveway, and then she floored it and peeled towards the gates. The gates had a ten second delay on opening but, whether on purpose or because she was loaded, she smashed her half a million dollar car through them, taking out the Maserati’s front end and my hand-fired antique gates.

I turned away from the window, disgusted, and wondered how I would explain this to my staff in the morning, that is if they hadn’t all been watching the show from their own windows.

I shivered. My room suddenly seemed freezing to me and, at that moment, building a fire in my pretty white marble fireplace seemed like a great idea. I wanted the cheerful flames and the warmth. I had never built a fire before, but I thought if I threw in a stack of old Vogues I had and lit them, it would start the little pile of Birchwood logs that Mieko kept stocked in there for decoration.

The magazines smoldered but didn’t light and, acting like I was a girl scout on a mission - albeit a mentally handicapped one - I went downstairs and outside to the shed where I knew Harin kept cans of gas. The gas made the magazines flame all right. The fire blasted right out of its enclosure and began burning my carpet. In seconds the room was engulfed in smoke because, in addition to having just created a wildfire in my bedroom, I hadn’t known about fireplace flues, and as the investigators told me later, shaking their heads, mine had been closed. I grabbed Petal and screamed, running for the doorway and for Diana. Tanya, her night nanny, already had her and we scrambled down the stairs, all three of us screaming at the tops of our lungs.

It was Harin who called 911. Me? I called Karmen. I don’t know why I called her instead of, say, Milan. Maybe I thought she would feel a little responsible and sorry for upsetting me so much earlier, or maybe I just couldn’t face what I knew would be Milan’s reasonable questions of how the fire had started in the first place.

Karmen came racing back in her damaged car and took over. She sent Lisa and Diana to stay at the Beverly Hilton after making a call to the hotel and telling them to charge everything the two of them would need to her father. Then, since Lisa had taken my Mercedes, Karmen led Petal and me to her car. She had to put on my seat belt because I couldn’t stop shaking. On the way down my drive, she rolled down the window and shouted out her cell number for Harin, telling him to call us later that day. That was the end of my house and, as Herbert coldly explained the next day, it was the end of me having any house for the foreseeable future.

Chapter 41

I’m sure Herbert knows the time difference between New York and California, and because of that I maybe should have been grateful that he stayed in his office for a whole hour before calling me on my cell at seven am California time. On the other hand, he might have just used that hour to sift through the previous night’s disaster and assemble as much bad news as possible for me before he picked up the phone.

Since Karmen and I hadn’t gotten to sleep until four that morning, it’s no surprise that he woke me up, or that I had a hard time understanding him. When my phone, which was still in the pocket of the robe I had been wearing when I had dropped face down onto Karmen’s bed, woke me, I glanced at the incoming name through slitted eyes - the horrible Herbert. I answered because dislike him though I might, I knew he was the person I was going to have to speak with if I wanted to begin damage control from the fire. I tried to say good morning but only managed a croak. My throat hurt from the smoke.

It was enough for him. “Yes, good morning, Carolyn, though, of course, I am afraid that this is far from being a good morning, as doubtless you will agree.”

I coughed in response.

“
I will take that as a yes. I imagine that you are suffering some ill effects from the smoke earlier this morning. Carolyn, I must tell you I am at a loss as to where to begin. Already this morning I have received a distraught call from the city commissioner in Beverly Hills, who is an old acquaintance of mine. She called me voicing concern over having an unsightly burned area in her jurisdiction. I informed her that we would be dealing with it, but one thing at a time.”

I managed to say thank you. Tired and sick as I was, I felt a little energy returning to my body with the knowledge that I wasn’t alone; that Herbert was on this.

His next words quickly clued me into how wrong I was. “You’re welcome, Carolyn. I only wish all of this morning’s calls were as simple as an overly-pushy code enforcer. You see, someone emailed your father pictures that are apparently all over the internet.”

“
What pictures? Herbert, it was three o’clock in the fucking morning.”

He cleared his throat. “Yes, Carolyn, I’m quite aware of what time it was, just as you should be aware that Los Angeles is a city filled with those unfortunate camera types who lurk about at all hours and who apparently all have police and fire band radios in their vehicles. Now ... ”

“
Paparazzi, Herbert, they’re called paparazzi, so I’m guessing what you are saying is that some of them took pictures of the fire last night and me leaving the house, God, Daddy must be so worried. Listen, let me just call him right now and I’ll call you right ba ... ”

“
There is no need to call your father, Carolyn. He has already shared his thoughts in this matter.”

“
I don’t care, I want to talk to Daddy.” I started crying and felt Karmen’s hand stroking my hair. I turned to look at her. She was awake, watching me with concerned eyes, I gestured at the phone to explain my tears and she made a 'fuck you' gesture which made me laugh through my tears.

Herbert heard it. “Is this funny to you, Carolyn?”

“
No Herbert, sorry, it’s just … never mind. So Daddy wants you to speak to me for him. How unusual.”

“
Carolyn, please don’t be snide. I can assure you that you will find speaking to me preferable to having this conversation with your father. If for one moment you can think of someone besides yourself, try to imagine his feelings on seeing his disheveled daughter driving off with some strange young woman in a wrecked car while his only grandchild is left alone with a nanny.”

I went cold. In the nightmare of leaving the house, I hadn’t thought about how it would look, I mean how it was. That was bad, I knew, but…

I tried to explain to Herbert. “Herbert … oh shit, listen, I didn’t … I mean, okay, I should have gone with Diana but, Herbert, I swear she’s with Lisa, her nanny. She loves her and they aren’t exactly out on the street, they’re at ... ” It was horrible, I couldn’t remember where it was they were at. Frantically I looked at Karmen. She was trying not to laugh. She thought this was funny! She mouthed the name of the hotel. I sighed with relief. “They’re at the Beverly Hilton. It’s a good hotel, Herbert, and I ... ”

“
And you didn’t know the name of it, did you, Carolyn? Don’t bother answering me. The more important question here is why you yourself are not at the Beverly Hilton with your daughter and this Lisa, a mere employee who presumably might have finished with her shift hours ago?”

There was no good answer to that question. “I don’t know why I didn’t do that, Herbert. In all the panic, I … well, okay, you’re right, I suck. I’ll get dressed and go over there now.”

I looked at Karmen. Her eyebrows were raised and she kept trying to whisper something to me. I shook my head angrily at her. She made a huffing noise and got up, saying loudly enough for Herbert to hear., “Fine, fuck you. I don’t give a shit what you’re talking about in my bed in my bedroom. I’ll just take your fucking dog for a walk while you conduct your business.”

I tried to shoot her an apologetic look, even though I didn’t know why she was mad at me again. Wasn’t I the victim here?

She ignored me, grabbed Petal off the bed and left the room. After a few seconds I heard the front door slam and I exhaled in relief, returning to my apologies to Herbert, even though, again, I didn’t know why I had to apologize to him either. “I’m sorry, Herbert, I ... ”

“
Was that charming voice I heard your companion from this morning … a Miss Karmen Tines, I believe the site TMZ said her name was … the daughter of a Mr. Gary Tines and a rather notorious lesbian? Good God, Carolyn … well I’m glad to hear at least you plan to rejoin your daughter. As to that, I have also received a call from your mother.” He chuckled. “Like I said, it’s been a rather active morning around here.”

I gritted my teeth. I could hear the barely-repressed delight in his voice. How Herbert was loving being in the middle of my shit storm. Herbert is nothing but a gossipy old woman and I hate him. I didn’t tell him that, though. Instead, I sighed heavily and said, “This gets better and better. What does she want?”

“
Oh she is flying out to your fair city as we speak. She has offered to pick up your child … uh ... ”

“
Diana, her name is Diana, and what do you mean, 'offered to pick her up'?”

“
Mmm? Oh yes, Diana, of course. Well your mother feels, and your father has agreed most heartily, that for the time-being it would be best if the child, Diana, were to return to New York with your mother and her unfortunate new husband until you have sorted out your immediate affairs, particularly your living situation.”

“
Daddy thinks this too?”

“
Yes, indeed. As a matter of fact, he has lent your mother the Kelleher corporate jet for her trip so that she and the child can travel comfortably.”

“
Well she can’t take her. Diana is my daughter and ... ”

“
And you left her alone in a hotel with an employee and you have no home to take her to, and I think you will find that if you do not agree to this temporary solution to your childcare situation, your mother is more than prepared to notify California’s division of child welfare, that is if someone who has seen that distasteful video has not already done so.”

I began sobbing. “Please, Herbert, she’s all I have. I’ll get another house. You could help me, please, I … ” My voice trailed off at his silence. I tried to be calmer, more mature, more of whatever would make him be nicer to me. Weakly I asked him. “Can I have her back as soon as I’m settled?”

“
Yes, well, of course. I mean, I assume so. I don’t believe your mother is looking to raise another child.” He laughed again, as though inviting me to join him.

I didn’t. “Okay, okay.” I wiped my streaming nose on Karmen’s sheets. “Okay, okay, she can go for a couple weeks until I buy a new house. Maybe Lisa ... ”

“
Buy a new house? Carolyn, what are you talking about? How do you plan to buy a new house?”

I was confused and told him so. “Well, I mean, there’s still a lot of money left in my trust, right, and if I find something nicer than my old house, maybe you could ask them if I can like pay half now and the rest when the insurance company sends a check for my burned house. God, Herbert, just my furnishings alone will be ... ”

“
Millions and millions in loss, yes, Carolyn. I have seen the bills and my goodness you did spend a great deal, more's the pity.” For a moment it was like all the smoke from the night before had come back and entered my lungs. I couldn’t breathe; my body felt like it was filled with smoke too, like I might drift away. There was a growing feeling of a dread too large to allow me to speak. Distantly through the rushing in my ears, I heard Herbert. “Carolyn, Carolyn, are you there, Carolyn?”

I whispered. “I’m here, I’m … what do you mean, loss? The insurance, I ... ”

“
Yes, I was quite shocked myself, Carolyn. As soon as I got off the phone with your father, I began searching through the title deed copies I had your real estate agent send me at the time of purchase. Imagine my horror when I realized you had never taken out any form of homeowner’s insurance.”

“
What is that? Isn’t that, like, included?”

He sighed. “Of course it’s not included. The trust, at your request, purchased the home you wanted, and with a fully paid property there is no automatic insurance. Since I had taken the trouble to explain this to you several years ago regarding auto insurance, I assumed you would understand it applied to homes and … their contents.”