Nothing Lasts Forever (20 page)

L
ou Dinetto was ready to check out of the hospital. Kat went to his room to say goodbye. Rhino and the Shadow were there.

As Kat walked in, Dinetto turned to them and said, “Get lost.”

Kat watched them leave the room.

Dinetto looked at Kat and said, “I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“Is that what you think my life is worth? I hear you’re getting married.”

“That’s right.”

“To a doctor.”

“Yes.”

“Well, tell him to take good care of you, or he’ll have to answer to me.”

“I’ll tell him.”

There was a small pause. “I’m sorry about Mike.”

“He’ll be all right,” Kat said. “I had a long talk with him. He’ll be fine.”

“Good.” Dinetto held out a bulky manila envelope. “A little wedding present for you.”

Kat shook her head. “No. Thank you.”

“But…”

“Take care of yourself.”

“You, too. You know something? You’re a real standup broad. I’m going to tell you something I want you to remember. If you ever need a favor—
anything
—you come to me. You hear me?”

“I hear you.”

She knew that he meant it. And she knew that she would never go to him.

During the weeks that followed, Paige and Jason spoke on the phone three and four times a day, and were together every time Paige was not on night call.

The hospital was busier than ever. Paige had been on a thirty-six-hour shift that had been filled with emergencies. She had just gone to sleep in the on-call room when she was awakened by the urgent shrill of the telephone.

She fumbled the phone to her ear. “H’lo?”

“Dr. Taylor, will you come to Room 422, stat?”

Paige tried to clear her mind.
Room 422. One of Dr. Barker’s patients. Lance Kelly.
He had just had a mitral valve replaced.
Something must have gone wrong.
Paige stumbled off the cot and walked out into the deserted corridor. She decided not to wait for the elevator. She ran up the stairs.
Maybe it’s just a nervous nurse. If it’s serious, I’ll call Dr. Barker,
she thought.

She walked into Room 422 and stood in the doorway,
staring. The patient was fighting for breath and moaning. The nurse turned to Paige in obvious relief. “I didn’t know what to do, doctor. I…”

Paige hurried to the bedside. “You’re going to be fine,” she said reassuringly. She took his wrist between two fingers. His pulse was jumping wildly. The mitral valve was malfunctioning.

“Let’s sedate him,” Paige ordered.

The nurse handed Paige a syringe, and Paige injected it into a vein. Paige turned to the nurse. “Tell the head nurse to get an operating team together, stat. And send for Dr. Barker!”

Fifteen minutes later, Kelly was on the operating table. The team consisted of two scrub nurses, a circulating nurse, and two residents. A television monitor was perched high in a corner of the room to display the heart rate, EKG, and blood pressure.

The anesthesiologist walked in, and Paige felt like cursing. Most of the anesthesiologists at the hospital were skilled doctors, but Herman Koch was an exception. Paige had worked with him before and tried to avoid him as much as possible. She did not trust him. Now she had no choice.

Paige watched him secure a tube to the patient’s throat, while she unfolded a paper drape with a clear window and placed it over the patient’s chest.

“Put a line into the jugular vein,” Paige said.

Koch nodded. “Right.”

One of the residents asked, “What’s the problem here?”

“Dr. Barker replaced the mitral valve yesterday. I think it’s ruptured.” Paige looked over at Dr. Koch. “Is he out?”

Koch nodded. “Sleeping like he’s in bed at home.”

I wish you were,
Paige thought. “What are you using?”

“Propofol.”

She nodded. “All right.”

She watched Kelly being connected to the heart-lung machine so she could perform a cardiopulmonary bypass. Paige studied the monitors on the wall. Pulse 140…blood oxygen saturation 92 percent…blood pressure 80 over 60. “Let’s go,” Paige said.

One of the residents put on music.

Paige stepped up to the operating table under eleven hundred watts of hot white light and turned to the scrub nurse. “Scalpel, please…”

The operation began.

Paige removed all the sternal wires from the operation the day before. She then cut from the base of the neck to the lower end of the sternum, while one of the residents blotted away the blood with gauze pads.

She carefully went through the layers of fat and muscle, and in front of her was the erratically beating heart. “There’s the problem,” Paige said. “The atrium is perforated. Blood is collecting around the heart and compressing it.” Paige was looking at the monitor on the wall. The pump pressure had dropped dangerously.

“Increase the flow,” Paige ordered.

The door to the operating room opened and Lawrence Barker stepped in. He stood to one side, watching what was happening.

Paige said, “Dr. Barker. Do you want to…?”

“It’s your operation.”

Paige took a quick look at what Koch was doing. “Be careful. You’ll overanesthetize him, dammit! Slow it down!”

“But I…”

“He’s in V-tach! His pressure is dropping!”

“What do you want me to do?” Koch asked helplessly.

He should know,
Paige thought angrily. “Give him lidocaine and epinephrine! Now!” She was yelling.

“Right.”

Paige watched as Koch picked up a syringe and injected it into the patient’s IV.

A resident looked at the monitor and called out, “Blood pressure is falling.”

Paige was working frantically to stop the flow of blood. She looked up at Koch. “Too much flow! I told you to…”

The noise of the heartbeat on the monitor suddenly became chaotic.

“My God! Something’s gone wrong!”

“Give me the defibrillator!” Paige yelled.

The circulating nurse reached for the defibrillator on the crash cart, opened two sterile paddles, and plugged them in. She turned the buttons up to charge them and ten seconds later handed them to Paige.

She took the paddles and positioned them directly over Kelly’s heart. Kelly’s body jumped, then fell back.

Paige tried again,
willing
him to come back to life, willing him to breathe again. Nothing. The heart lay still, a dead, useless organ.

Paige was in a fury. Her part of the operation had been successful. Koch had overanesthetized the patient.

As Paige was applying the defibrillator to Lance Kelly’s body for the third futile time, Dr. Barker stepped up to the operating table and turned to Paige. “You killed him.”

J
ason was in the middle of a design meeting when his secretary said, “Dr. Taylor is on the phone for you. Shall I tell her you’ll call back?”

“No. I’ll take it.” Jason picked up the phone. “Paige?”

“Jason…I need you!” She was sobbing.

“What happened?”

“Can you come to the apartment?”

“Of course. I’ll be right there.” He stood up. “The meeting is over. We’ll pick it up in the morning.”

Half an hour later, Jason was at the apartment. Paige opened the door and threw her arms around him. Her eyes were red from crying.

“What happened?” Jason asked.

“It’s awful! Dr. Barker told me I…I killed a patient, and honestly, it…it wasn’t my fault!” Her voice broke. “I can’t take any more of his…”

“Paige,” Jason said gently, “you’ve told me how mean he always is. That’s the man’s character.”

Paige shook her head. “It’s more than that. He’s been trying to force me out since the day I started working with
him. Jason, if he were a bad doctor and didn’t think I was any good, I wouldn’t mind so much, but the man is brilliant. I have to respect his opinion. I just don’t think I’m good enough.”

“Nonsense,” Jason said angrily. “Of course you are. Everyone I talk to says you’re a wonderful doctor.”

“Not Lawrence Barker.”

“Forget Barker.”

“I’m going to,” Paige said. “I’m quitting the hospital.”

Jason took her in his arms. “Paige, I know you love the profession too much to give it up.”

“I won’t give it up. I just never want to see that hospital again.”

Jason took out a handkerchief and dried Paige’s tears.

“I’m sorry to bother you with all of this,” Paige said.

“That’s what husbands-to-be are for, isn’t it?”

She managed a smile. “I like the sound of that. All right.” Paige took a deep breath. “I feel better now. Thanks for talking to me. I telephoned Dr. Wallace and told him I was quitting. I’m going over to the hospital and see him now.”

“I’ll see you at dinner tonight.”

Paige walked through the corridors of the hospital, knowing that she was seeing them for the last time. There were the familiar noises and the people hurrying up and down the corridors. It had become more of a home to her than she’d realized. She thought of Jimmy and Chang, and all the wonderful doctors she had worked with. Darling Jason going on rounds with her in his white coat. She passed the cafeteria where she and Honey and Kat had
had a hundred breakfasts, and the lounge, where they had tried to have a party. The corridors and rooms were full of so many memories.
I’m going to miss it,
Paige thought,
but I refuse to work under the same roof as that monster.

She went up to Dr. Wallace’s office. He was waiting for her.

“Well, I must say, your telephone call surprised me, Paige! Have you definitely made up your mind?”

“Yes.”

Benjamin Wallace sighed. “Very well. Before you go, Dr. Barker would like to see you.”

“I want to see him.” All of Paige’s pent-up anger boiled to the surface.

“He’s in the lab. Well…good luck.”

“Thanks.” Paige headed for the lab.

Dr. Barker was examining some slides under a microscope when Paige entered. He looked up. “I’m told you’ve decided to quit the hospital.”

“That’s right. You finally got your wish.”

“And what was that?” Barker asked.

“You’ve wanted me out of here from the first moment you saw me. Well, you’ve won. I can’t fight you anymore. When you told me I killed your patient. I…” Paige’s voice broke. “I…I think you’re a sadistic, cold-hearted son of a bitch, and I hate you.”

“Sit down,” Dr. Barker said.

“No. I have nothing more to say.”

“Well, I have. Who the hell do you think you…?”

He suddenly stopped and began to gasp.

As Paige watched in horror, he clutched his heart and toppled over in his chair, his face twisted to one side in a horrible rictus.

Paige was at his side instantly. “Dr. Barker!” She grabbed the telephone and shouted into it, “Code Red! Code Red!”

Dr. Peterson said, “He’s suffered a massive stroke. It’s too early to tell whether he’s going to come out of it.”

It’s my fault,
Paige thought.
I wanted him dead.
She felt miserable.

She went back to see Ben Wallace. “I’m sorry about what happened,” Paige said. “He was a good doctor.”

“Yes. It’s regrettable. Very…” Wallace studied her a moment. “Paige, if Dr. Barker can’t practice here anymore, would you consider staying on?”

Paige hesitated. “Yes. Of course.”

H
is chart read, “John Cronin, white male, age 70. Diagnosis: Cardiac tumor.”

Paige had not yet met John Cronin. He was scheduled to have heart surgery. She walked into his room, a nurse and a staff doctor at her side. She smiled warmly and said, “Good morning, Mr. Cronin.”

They had just extubated him, and there were the marks of adhesive tape around his mouth. IV bottles hung overhead, and the tubing had been inserted in his left arm.

Cronin looked over at Paige. “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Dr. Taylor. I’m going to examine you and—”

“Like hell you are! Keep your fucking hands off me. Why didn’t they send in a
real
doctor?”

Paige’s smile died. “I’m a cardiovascular surgeon. I’m going to do everything I can to get you well again.”

“
You’re
going to operate on my heart?”

“That’s right. I…”

John Cronin looked at the resident and said, “For Christ’s sake, is this the best this hospital can do?”

“I assure you, Dr. Taylor is thoroughly qualified,” the staff doctor said.

“So is my ass.”

Paige said stiffly, “Would you rather bring in your own surgeon?”

“I don’t have one. I can’t afford those high-priced quacks. You doctors are all alike. All you’re interested in is money. You don’t give a damn about people. We’re just pieces of meat to you, aren’t we?”

Paige was fighting to control her temper. “I know you’re upset right now, but—”

“Upset? Just because you’re going to cut my heart out?” He was screaming. “I know I’ll die on the operating table. You’re going to kill me, and I hope they get you for murder!”

“That’s enough!” Paige said.

He was grinning at her maliciously. “It wouldn’t look good on your record if I died, would it, doctor? Maybe I
will
let you operate on me.”

Paige found that she was hyperventilating. She turned to the nurse. “I want an EKG and a chemistry panel.” She took one last look at John Cronin, then turned and left the room.

When Paige returned an hour later with the reports on the tests, John Cronin looked up. “Oh, the bitch is back.”

Paige operated on John Cronin at six o’clock the following morning.

The moment she opened him up, she knew that there was no hope. The major problem was not the heart. Cronin’s organs showed signs of melanoma.

A resident said, “Oh, my God! What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to pray that he doesn’t have to live with this too long.”

When Paige stepped out of the operating room into the corridor, she found a woman and two men waiting for her. The woman was in her late thirties. She had bright red hair and too much makeup, and she wore a heavy, cheap perfume. She had on a tight dress that accentuated a voluptuous figure. The men were in their forties, and both had red hair. To Paige, they looked like a circus troupe.

The woman said to Paige, “You Dr. Taylor?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Mrs. Cronin. These are my brothers. How’s my husband?”

Paige hesitated. She said carefully, “The operation went as well as could be expected.”

“Oh, thank God!” Mrs. Cronin said melodramatically, dabbing at her eyes with a lace handkerchief. “I’d die if anything happened to John!”

Paige felt as if she were watching an actress in a bad play.

“Can I see my darling now?”

“Not yet, Mrs. Cronin. He’s in the recovery room. I suggest that you come back tomorrow.”

“We’ll be back.” She turned to the men. “Come along, fellas.”

Paige watched as they walked away.
Poor John Cronin,
she thought.

Paige was given the report the next morning. The cancer had metastasized throughout Cronin’s body. It was too late for radiation treatment.

The oncologist said to Paige, “There’s nothing to do but try to keep him comfortable. He’s going to be in a hell of a lot of pain.”

“How much time does he have?”

“A week or two at the most.”

Paige went to visit John Cronin in intensive care. He was asleep. John Cronin was no longer a bitter, vitriolic man, but a human being fighting desperately for his life. He was on a respirator, and being fed intravenously. Paige sat down at his bedside, watching him. He looked tired and defeated.
He’s one of the unlucky ones,
Paige thought.
Even with all the modern medical miracles, there’s nothing we can do to save him.
Paige touched his arm gently. After a while, she left.

Later that afternoon, Paige stopped by to see John Cronin again. He was off the respirator now. When he opened his eyes and saw Paige, he said drowsily, “The operation’s over, huh?”

Paige smiled reassuringly. “Yes. I just came by to make sure that you’re comfortable.”

“Comfortable?” he snorted. “What the hell do you care?”

Paige said, “Please. Let’s not fight.”

Cronin lay there, silently studying her. “The other doctor told me you did a good job.”

Paige said nothing.

“I have cancer, don’t I?”

“Yes.”

“How bad is it?”

The question posed a dilemma that all surgeons were faced with sooner or later. Paige said. “It’s pretty bad.”

There was a long silence. “What about radiation or chemotherapy?”

“I’m sorry. It would make you feel worse, and it wouldn’t help.”

“I see. Well…I’ve had a good life.”

“I’m sure you have.”

“You may not think so, looking at me now, but I’ve had a lot of women.”

“I believe it.”

“Yeah. Women…thick steaks…good cigars…You married?”

“No.”

“You ought to be. Everyone should be married. I’ve been married. Twice. First, for thirty-five years. She was a wonderful lady. She died of a heart attack.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He sighed. “Then I got sucked into marrying a bimbo. Her and her two hungry brothers. It’s my fault for being so horny, I guess. Her red hair turned me on. She’s some piece of work.”

“I’m sure she…”

“No offense, but do you know why I’m in this cockamamie hospital? My wife put me here. She didn’t want to waste money on me for a private hospital. This way there’ll be more to leave to her and her brothers.” He looked up at Paige. “How much time
do
I have left?”

“Do you want it straight?”

“No…yes.”

“A week or two.”

“Jesus! The pain is going to get worse, isn’t it?”

“I’ll try to keep you as comfortable as possible, Mr. Cronin.”

“Call me John.”

“John.”

“Life is a bitch, isn’t it?”

“You said you’ve had a good life.”

“I did. It’s kinda funny, knowing it’s about over. Where do you think we go?”

“I don’t know.”

He forced a smile. “I’ll let you know when I get there.”

“Some medication is on the way. Can I do anything to make you more comfortable?”

“Yeah. Come back and talk to me tonight.”

It was Paige’s night off, and she was exhausted. “I’ll come back.”

That night when Paige went back to see John Cronin, he was awake.

“How are you feeling?”

He winced. “Terrible. I was never very good about pain. I guess I’ve got a low threshold.”

“I understand.”

‘You met Hazel, huh?”

“Hazel?”

“My wife. The bimbo. She and her brothers were here to see me. They said they talked to you.”

“Yes.”

“She’s something, ain’t she? I sure got myself into a bundle of trouble there. They can’t wait for me to kick the bucket.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. The only reason Hazel married me was for
my money. To tell you the truth, I didn’t mind that so much. I really had a good time with her in bed, but then she and her brothers started to get greedy. They always wanted more.”

The two of them sat there in a comfortable silence.

“Did I tell you I used to travel a lot?”

“No.”

“Yeah. I’ve been to Sweden…Denmark…Germany. Have you been to Europe?”

She thought about the day at the travel agency.
Let’s go to Venice! No, let’s go to Paris! How about London?
“No. I haven’t.”

“You ought to go.”

“Maybe one day I will.”

“I guess you don’t make much money working at a hospital like this, huh?”

“I make enough.”

He nodded to himself. “Yeah. You have to go to Europe. Do me a favor. Go to Paris…stay at the Crillon, have dinner at Maxim’s, order a big, thick steak and a bottle of champagne, and when you eat that steak and drink that champagne, I want you to think of me. Will you do that?”

Paige said slowly, “I’ll do that one day.”

John Cronin was studying her. “Good. I’m tired now. Will you come back tomorrow and talk to me again?”

“Ill come back,” Paige said.

John Cronin slept.